WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS LOTS OF FOUL LANGUAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Legend of Zelda, period. I do own the story line, though. So smoke that!
A/N: This is my second fic, Chapter 3. I got some reviews, plus my friends pressured me to write more. It might not be as good because I didn't write it on a whim. But, what the hell, right?
TheHenchman
The Day The UFGAN Tried To Take Over Hyrule
Chapter III - Gerudo Valley
After happily and viciously killing CHSACE44, AND after completely destroying Lake Hylia, the UFGAN continued to Gerudo Valley. They went past the burning ruble of the Lakeside Laboratory, paused and looked at the beautiful carnage that lay before them. Pieces of blue tektite, driftwood from the bridges, the two decapitated head of the humanoid beings that once called this place their home, and were startled as they saw two scarecrows jumping toward them, yelling mean things.
"LeT uS hAnDlE tHiS." The chickens said as they held back the penguins.
The chickens made quick work of Pierre and Bonooru. What was left of the two music-lovin scarecrows drifted into the remaining water of the lake. The UFGAN continued back to Hyrule Field, past the mangled, bent, and broken fences to Gerudo Valley.
Since Link had beaten the Spirit Temple, the carpenters had re-built the bridge to the entrance of Gerudo Fortress.
"What the hell are you things?!" the boss carpenter demanded.
"YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!!"
"Oh, that's original...dumb-ass..."
"DoN't YoU dArE iNsUlT tHeM!!!"
"Maybe I wouldn't if you things would answer my question properly, you ass."
"WE ARE THE UNITED FEDERATION OF GIANT ALIEN NATIONS!!! WE ARE THE GIANT ALIEN PENGUINS AND THEY ARE THE GIANT ALIEN CHICKENS!!!"
"Really? Hmm. Interesting. What are you doing here?"
"THIS!!!"
The penguins slapped the head carpenter with their stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves.
"What in the bloody hell did you do that for?!" asked one of the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure. (A/N: Don't ask.)
"SHUT UP!!!" With that, the head penguin jumped on the one of the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure with his stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron ass cover. The sissy-boy carpenter, who runs like a gay little blond cheerleader late for a manicure, was squished instantly and killed.
"WHAT THE HELLL?!" asked the other two sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure and the person who is obsessed with rabbits and runs like a fag.
"YOU WILL DIE!!!" the penguins and the chickens yelled together. (What? I had no choice! I couldn't combine those two different caps styles!! What?)
"The hell we will..." the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure yelled back sarcastically.
"Should we be fighting them?" asked the person who is obsessed with rabbits and runs like a fag.
"Stay out of this!" yelled one of the carpenters.
"Yeah, go screw one of your legendary rabbits, you freak!" yelled the other.
"THEY DON'T EXIST!!! EVEN IF I WANTED TO, I COULDN'T!!!" sobbed the runner.
That was followed by a dead silence as the two carpenters looked at the runner is disbelief. He'd never yelled like that before.
More silence. Still more.
"UHEM." The penguins cleared their throats. "CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?"
"Oh, sorry, go ahead."
"THANK YOU." The chickens proceeded to swing their swords and decapitate and dice up the bodies of the three people.
"NICE WORK, PARTNERS."
"ShUt uP. No OnE lIkEs A kIsS-uP."
"FINE, WHATEVER..."
They moved down the path to Gerudo Fortress after setting fire to the tent.
------------------------------
End of Chapter III
I can't believe I wrote this!!! I need much more help than I thought.
No new creatures today. I know I promised giant alien sheep and asparagus, but I couldn't fit it in.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Legend of Zelda, period. I do own the story line, though. So smoke that!
A/N: This is my second fic, Chapter 3. I got some reviews, plus my friends pressured me to write more. It might not be as good because I didn't write it on a whim. But, what the hell, right?
TheHenchman
The Day The UFGAN Tried To Take Over Hyrule
Chapter III - Gerudo Valley
After happily and viciously killing CHSACE44, AND after completely destroying Lake Hylia, the UFGAN continued to Gerudo Valley. They went past the burning ruble of the Lakeside Laboratory, paused and looked at the beautiful carnage that lay before them. Pieces of blue tektite, driftwood from the bridges, the two decapitated head of the humanoid beings that once called this place their home, and were startled as they saw two scarecrows jumping toward them, yelling mean things.
"LeT uS hAnDlE tHiS." The chickens said as they held back the penguins.
The chickens made quick work of Pierre and Bonooru. What was left of the two music-lovin scarecrows drifted into the remaining water of the lake. The UFGAN continued back to Hyrule Field, past the mangled, bent, and broken fences to Gerudo Valley.
Since Link had beaten the Spirit Temple, the carpenters had re-built the bridge to the entrance of Gerudo Fortress.
"What the hell are you things?!" the boss carpenter demanded.
"YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!!"
"Oh, that's original...dumb-ass..."
"DoN't YoU dArE iNsUlT tHeM!!!"
"Maybe I wouldn't if you things would answer my question properly, you ass."
"WE ARE THE UNITED FEDERATION OF GIANT ALIEN NATIONS!!! WE ARE THE GIANT ALIEN PENGUINS AND THEY ARE THE GIANT ALIEN CHICKENS!!!"
"Really? Hmm. Interesting. What are you doing here?"
"THIS!!!"
The penguins slapped the head carpenter with their stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves.
"What in the bloody hell did you do that for?!" asked one of the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure. (A/N: Don't ask.)
"SHUT UP!!!" With that, the head penguin jumped on the one of the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure with his stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron ass cover. The sissy-boy carpenter, who runs like a gay little blond cheerleader late for a manicure, was squished instantly and killed.
"WHAT THE HELLL?!" asked the other two sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure and the person who is obsessed with rabbits and runs like a fag.
"YOU WILL DIE!!!" the penguins and the chickens yelled together. (What? I had no choice! I couldn't combine those two different caps styles!! What?)
"The hell we will..." the sissy-boy carpenters that run like gay little blond cheerleaders late for a manicure yelled back sarcastically.
"Should we be fighting them?" asked the person who is obsessed with rabbits and runs like a fag.
"Stay out of this!" yelled one of the carpenters.
"Yeah, go screw one of your legendary rabbits, you freak!" yelled the other.
"THEY DON'T EXIST!!! EVEN IF I WANTED TO, I COULDN'T!!!" sobbed the runner.
That was followed by a dead silence as the two carpenters looked at the runner is disbelief. He'd never yelled like that before.
More silence. Still more.
"UHEM." The penguins cleared their throats. "CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?"
"Oh, sorry, go ahead."
"THANK YOU." The chickens proceeded to swing their swords and decapitate and dice up the bodies of the three people.
"NICE WORK, PARTNERS."
"ShUt uP. No OnE lIkEs A kIsS-uP."
"FINE, WHATEVER..."
They moved down the path to Gerudo Fortress after setting fire to the tent.
------------------------------
End of Chapter III
I can't believe I wrote this!!! I need much more help than I thought.
No new creatures today. I know I promised giant alien sheep and asparagus, but I couldn't fit it in.