I wanted to take the time and thank each of you for your thoughts and prayers that you sent my way this past week – it was a very hard week, and your thoughts and prayers helped so much!

I also want to tell you how much you mean to me and my writing. I cannot get over the response I have gotten from this story! Thank you all so much for the reviews – you have encouraged me in more ways than you will ever know. Those who have stuck by me since my first story and newcomers, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Bonnie – I wanted to let you know that I get everyone of your reviews – I wish there was a way I could respond back to you but this will have to do – Thank you for your guest review!

I hope you enjoy this new chapter and please if you read, please review. If you read just to enjoy, that is fine also. ALIMOO1971- thank you for catching the deal about Sam – I did not even see that and thanks to the guest who wrote me about AWOL – got them both changed.

Thank you to redneckduckling for your excellent reading and proofing skills and to JackGwyer for the beautiful artwork.

Now on to the story – of the men and women whom I do not own anything of – but love to have Mr. Muse see just how much he can turned their world right – side – up!

Chapter 4 – Hidden Hurts

Jack watched the video on his television as if he was watching a movie that had been made and was a greatest hits picture. He watched Sam as she slid down onto the floor, holding her head where she had slammed it against the metal wall in the control room. He saw her pale color, and wondered just how wrong had he been when he had thought she was dead or close to it. When he saw the screen change to show her looking at someone in the shadows, he jumped back – unprepared to see himself standing there on the ship.

Sam had slipped out of the center of the living room and over to Jack's couch. She had her elbows on her knees and her face down on her hands, afraid of what was going to be heard and seen of her memories. She did not care if Jack saw it at this point. After all, would it change what he had said to her. He obviously felt that way or her subconscious would not have picked up on it. She knew Jack too well.

Problem was, neither of them knew each other as well as they thought they did. Jack thought he knew Sam inside and out and assumed that she would be happier with a man more fit and more able to give her a fairy tale life. Sam thought she knew Jack well enough to think that he would think himself too old for her and would try to hide away from what she wanted. While they were thinking that they knew each other – they were slipping further and further from the truth. What they did not see was what everyone else did see – they were madly in love with each other, would give their lives for the other one and just wanted to spend eternity with each other. Everyone else knew that Jack and Sam just wanted to be happy. Jack and Sam spent too much time trying to make the other one happy by giving them something they did not want.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up, Sir."

"Samantha, I am a figment of your imagination and yet you still call me Sir?"

Jack listened to the whole conversation playing out of Sam's subconscious mind and could not believe the words he told her. He was a safe bet – that was true but she had assumed he meant it in a different way. Damn, how screwed up could one sentence become. The screen went blank on the television and Jack was on the couch next to Sam when she lifted her head. He turned her face to look her directly in the eyes. What he had to tell her, he wanted to make damn sure she processed this correctly. When he looked her in the eyes, however, the main thing he saw was the hurt that the conversation had caused to bring back up again.

"Samantha Carter, for you to be one of the world's brainiest women, you can sure be dumb sometimes! How in the hell did you get "I am a safe bet" into you using me to keep from falling in love with someone else because you could not have me? Did you even pay attention to the last thing I said to you? Did it even dawn on you that I was telling you I would wait forever for you. When I said 'I would always be there for you', I wasn't saying for you to go get your ass hooked up with somebody else, I was telling you that I was willing to wait forever for you and I to be able to be together. I was saying that I would always be a safe bet because I would never love anyone else as much as I love you."

Jack reached up and wiped the tear from Sam's check that she had allowed to slip out of her eye, and he heard the intake of breath. God how he loved this crazy woman! When would the world finally stop spinning so they could be together? Jack watched her eyes and he realized he also had a confession that she needed to see. She needed to realize just how much she did mean to him. He could just come out and tell her but what fun was that. Jack looked over at Thor and could not help but smile – yeah this would be so much better!

"Thor my man I need you to do something for me now. There is something that Carter needs to see and you can let her see it. I know you got the memory, no doubt about that, not as many times as my head has been sucked clean by you and your ship. I mean if you have Carter's and as far as I know her head has never had to be sucked clean by you."

"O'Neill, I did have to take apart some of Colonel Carter's memories. When she was captured by Fifth, I helped clean some things from her so that he would not be able to use you against her. It just seemed that she would accept you and her together faster than she would have her life with an imaginary Pete Shanahan. So, I took you from her while she was with him."

"Ok – I guess that makes sense."

"Actually Sir it does. If you take what memories I have of you and what memories I have of me and Pete, then Thor would have sliced through…."

"Carter, no techno babble right now please!"

Jack smiled when he heard Sam giggle. Such a beautiful sound, a sound that caused more than just happiness to cover his soul.

"I told you a long time ago – No giggling!"

Sam stopped giggling but a smile that caused Jack's heart to stop lit her face.

By this time, Thor had started another memory using Jack's television and everyone in the room seemed to hear Teal'c groan when the table of stones appeared on the screen. Sam and Daniel watched with enthusiasm as Teal'c and Jack was left helpless time and again through time loop after time loop. They became enthused when Jack and Teal'c stopped worrying so much about the translation and started having fun – just because Daniel made the comment that "knowing time would repeat again and start over".

Sam became engrossed in the screen the first time she heard Jack inform General Hammond that he was handing in his resignation papers to do this and the catcalls that came from Daniel were almost deafening when Jack tipped Sam down and planted a kiss right on her lips. The next time loop installed a little more than just papers and a kiss.

There was a date between Jack and Sam at a nice Italian restaurant where he showed her the engagement ring he planned to put on her finger that afternoon when he gave his papers to General Hammond. The next time loop included a dinner date, a ring, the handing over of resignation papers, and shopping for a dress, together. Another time loop included going to the cabin – the four of them- for a day of fishing and cooking out, laughter and fun. The last time loop included a quiet night alone with just Sam and Jack, at his cabin. A candle light dinner and wine, a nice bubble bath together and laying by the fireplace expressing their love for each other.

The television went black and the room was deathly quiet. When Sam looked around she realized that she and Jack were the only ones left in the room. She looked at him, saw the hurt shining through the tears in his eyes. Not hurt caused by her, not hurt caused by the hopes and dreams he had for them. Instead it was hurt caused by a relentless government that cared only about their own selfish needs. Knowing how much he had hoped they would be together by now, and knowing that all this time he had loved her, wanted her for his own. The times that he had gone to General Hammond and tried to retire or resign. To be reassigned somewhere else. Yet, all he could do – all they could do was to keep working together and keep pushing the love away until the hurt was suffocating them and the anger took over.

"Oh God, Jack! I am so sorry!"

Jack looked over at Sam and before he knew it, she was in his arms. They held each other and cried, letting out the hurt that they had both held in for so long. Jack understood one thing and one thing only. This had to stop! They had saved the scrawny, sorry two bit asses at the Pentagon so many times and yet they could not get the one thing that would make their lives a little more livable. Well, it was time for that to change – and change it he would be doing.

However, Sam had other things on her mind besides a selfish government. The candlelight dinner and the fireplace scene had caused feelings to erupt in her stomach that she had tried to hide for a long time. Feelings she had never gotten when she was with Pete. Feelings she wanted to put to test and Sam could not help but hope that Jack was feeling the same way at this very moment.

Jack felt the mood change in Sam and he knew they were both on dangerous ground. If they gave into the mood that was now in them and in the room, they would not be able to persuade the right people that they were not guilty of fraternizing when they did make their appeal together. Yet, did he want to wait? Was he not tired of waiting just as much as she was? They had given so much and received nothing in return.

Jack knew that was not what his career was about. He did not go into the service to get rewards or extra bonuses for doing the right thing. And yet, they were often told so many times by the President that all they had to do was ask for anything and it would be theirs. Well the one thing they wanted was the one thing that everyone seemed to deny them. And even though Thor had showed all this to each of them, did it change anything? All it had done was open wounds that they had tried to close. The government still was not going to allow them to be together but maybe one night together could soften the blow and make waiting a little more bearable.

Jack felt Sam's lips as they traveled across his chest. He had forgotten until this moment that he had been in the process of removing his shirt in the hallway when Sam had run into him. Standing here in front of her in an open button shirt had never even crossed his mind and it had not Sam's either until this very moment. The warmth her lips were leaving on him as they traveled across his skin was causing everything to heat up and Jack knew it would not be long before she would not be the only one with traveling lips.

"Sam, are you sure you want to do this? I will not stop you or myself if you want us to cross this line. But you must be sure. No regrets? No matter what may come of this, we cannot allow room for regrets."

"No regrets, Jack, no regrets – not tonight, not tomorrow – not ever. No regrets. Now shut up and kiss me!"

Jack considered Sam's eyes and was amazed at the dark blue that shone back at him. He grabbed her close and kissed her, tipping her down as he did so, causing her to giggle in response.

"I told you, Colonel Carter, no giggling!"

"Yes sir General O'Neill, Sir!"

The growl that erupted from Jack's throat caused Sam to shiver in his arms and he kissed her again, the kiss deepening this time until his tongue fought against her lips for entrance. When she allowed him in, the two tongues danced together like flames from a candle and the fire in their bodies heightened even more.

Hands begin running over shoulders and backs, tantalizing the skin with the touch. Fingers traced edges of breasts while other fingers played with little hairs at the nape of the neck, causing breathing to become even more erratic. Clothes soon became scattered across the floor, leaving her in nothing but her lingerie.

Jack stepped back from Sam before his pants was the next item of clothing on the floor and stood amazed at the beautiful picture in front of him. God, she was stunning – the eighth wonder of the world did not even cover what she was this moment standing in his house, hair tousled in nothing but a sports bra and white panties on. The lingerie was nothing extravagant – it was service issue. But right now, at this very moment it was the most beautiful clothing he had seen on a woman.

"Jack, please don't stop now."

The words were barely audible but Jack heard them as if they were yelled from the com at the base. He reached over and took Sam's hand and lead her down the hall towards his bedroom. It may not be right; it may be breaking all the rules crossing this line. But they had broken rules before to save the world -now they were breaking the rules to save their hearts.