The proof-reading for this chapter was hard because it has a new perspective-type-thing, and I sometimes slipped out of it. It's told in third-person summary format (as in, someone summarizing another person's thoughts during past events), and several times I went into third-person present (like all the other chapters have been told). So yeah. I rewrote a lot of sentences and changed many verbs and the word count went up. Sigh. Well, whatever...
Disclaimer: I do not own the original Ed, Edd n' Eddy characters. I only own my interpretation and usage of the plot, and whatever miscellaneous characters I may add. This story will also include scenes not suitable for bigots or children. You have been fairly warned.
Please enjoy!
It's Complicated
4/46
About three years ago, his freshman year of high school, he found himself on the verge of dropping out.
He had significantly been slacking in the first half of the semester, and gotten failed marks on the first-quarter finals for that school year. His grades had put him on immediate probation by the guidance counselor at Peach Creek High, and he was informed that if he did not pull his grades up for the second-quarter finals, he would be but one step away from failing the grade without any hope of credit recovery, and being held back. As he did not want to get held back — it was too embarrassing, after all — he decided that if that were to come to be the case, he would instead drop-out of high school.
After all, he told himself when he had made this life-altering decision during a soccer game playing on the television in his room, Tons of people drop-out and still land the big bucks — I'll be fine.
Needless to say, he had pulled another set of horrible — "deplorable", "atrocious", "horrendous" — marks on the second-quarter exam finals for the school year. His father had been furious when the counselor called him and informed him of his grades (which he had kept the details secret for and sugared on white lies to calm his worries), and told him that his son was about to be held back in his first year of high school.
"Can anything be done?" He remembered hearing his father say into the phone, the day the call was made. He had been headed down the stairs from his bedroom, worry-free, when he heard his father answer and call out the guidance counselor's name. At that time, he was against the wall, listening in.
He was unable to hear what the counselor said, but his father responded with, "Of course. Of course. I'll make sure he does just that… Yes… Thank you for informing me of this… Thank you very much."
The call ended.
"Kevin!"
His father then screamed.
There were few times in his life when his father had ever physically disciplined him — and never once had he done it with a belt, like he had done on that night. The black leather belt was searing hot against his flesh, leaving behind angry slashes brighter than his hair. At times he had felt that the belt was breaking his skin and hitting his muscles directly — although he knew that was not the case.
When his father finished, he had heard him say, "First I get word from the neighborhood kids that you're bullying them and now this." His father secured his belt back on his pants and looked down at him; a heaping, sobbing pile of anger and frustration huddled in the fetal position on the floor. "Honestly, Kev, I just—" He paused. His glaring up at his father as he spoke did not make the situation any better, either. His father frowned. "You're getting a tutor. Pull your grades up with that. Yeah, you failed, but thankfully you were high enough in the 60s to where improving your grades from here on out can make a difference." His father then left the hallway and headed into the kitchen. Kevin could hear him ask, "What do you want for dinner?" However, instead of responding, his younger self had rushed up to his bedroom and locked his door. He wanted nothing to do with his dad that night.
.
.
When it finally came time for his first tutoring session, he was accompanied by both his father and the guidance counselor to the school library. They were both well aware of his hatred of their plan to get him a tutor, and as he had threatened to bolt on more than one occasion, they felt it best if they had a handle on him at all times.
His father had a firm grip on his bicep as they walked into the library and were headed to the table where his tutor supposedly sat; his grip was none too hard, though, where it would leave bruises like the belt.
For his tutor, the guidance counselor had introduced him to a "Eddward Vincent — he's currently in the top percentile of your grade and volunteered to be the one to tutor you after hearing about your… predicament."
He had snorted then, looking directly at Double-D's face. "This dork?" He had asked — and almost immediately got a firm slap to the back of his head by his father. He looked up at the elder man, then, with eyes ablaze with many merged, undetectable emotions.
"Be nice, Kevin," his father had said to him. "Eddward has taken time out of his personal life to help you — the least you can do is show some appreciation."
Kevin held back the snort that he wanted to let loose. He was silent as the party reached the table where Edd (back then he had not yet asked to consistently be referred to as Eddward), was standing with numerous textbooks around him. From the looks of it, he had been planning to tutor him on all the subjects that he had been failing, which was all of them.
Kevin remembered not being able to take Edd seriously at that time for two reasons: the mountain of textbooks signifying the task that he was out to do, and how goofy he had looked that day; with a ridiculous expression on his face that he supposed was him trying to smile while still hiding the nervousness that he likely felt, the braces on his teeth glinting, and the bow tie and sweater-vest combination that he had on — with his hat still present on his head, mind you, ruining the harmonious look that he attempted to put on.
"Greetings, Kevin," Edd had said to him with a wide smile. He held out his hand to shake. "I hope that we will be able to come out of this situation in a positive place."
He had not bothered to shake Edd's hand. He completely bypassed it, and his cheerful attitude, and sat down on the chair across from him. It was not that he disliked Edd, but rather, that he disliked the situation that he was in being viewed as something revoltingly negative — and anything to do with that — Edd included — immediately irked him. His father had noticed his "attitude" and tried to get him to properly greet the boy; but Edd had calmed the situation by telling him that it was alright, and that they would just get started.
"Hm… If you think so," his father had responded at Edd, before turning to look down at his son. "Kevin, no goofing around. This is your last chance."
"Eddward, do try your best." The guidance counselor had said.
"I assure you, Miss Haysmith, I shall."
The two adults had then left, leaving him and Edd alone. Edd sat back down and Kevin could see the nerves visible on his body. While he had put up a good front around the adults, now it was just the two of them, and Edd could no longer fully hide his light shaking and physical stutters with him having been so keen on picking up the dork's behavior. He was certain that it had not been that Edd feared him at that moment, but rather that he knew how unpredictable the situation was, and was unsure if he could truly deliver the results he had just boasted about a few minutes ago.
"N-now," Edd said, speaking first, after clearing his throat. "L-let's get started. Um… which subject would you like to tackle first, Kevin? Which do you find the hardest?" He did not respond; his eyes were locked on Edd, his attention clearly on him, his ears clearly having picked up what he said, but he did not respond. He stayed quiet; mouth shut; eyes almost glaring. Edd gulped. "S-s-some people find the, um, mathematics-based subjects the most difficult since they are more by-the-book with no way to cut edges. Perhaps we shall start with those? Is Physics okay?" He did not respond, again. He just kept staring at Edd — or rather, that was Edd's perspective on things.
In truth, he was contemplating what to do. He did not want this tutoring session to occur, and was in no way invested in it. He wanted to get out, but if he left the library so soon, there would be a problem. His father or the guidance counselor might catch him — he had to wait it out for a good hour or so. That, of course, involved just staring at Edd and letting his mind wander. He tried to stare at something else, but quickly got bored; watching Edd fidget was far more entertaining, he had found.
However, Edd had not known this, and surely took it as a sign of him being more intimidating than just bored. He wondered if Edd had thought him to be angry? He had been, at the time, but not with him — Edd had been dragged into this situation, not created it.
For the next hour or so, Edd had gone on trying to cover the subject of Physics. He had listened in on what the other boy was saying, but did not feel himself learning or caring about what was being said. Edd had his head almost nose-deep in the book as he talked and talked about the positives and negatives of the directions in Physics, accounting for movement and resistance. He had tried to get Kevin to do some sample problems to see if he understood anything. He had also stopped at specific intervals to ask him if he was okay and understood him; during these times, Kevin could see the nerves wearing him down and how he could no longer fake being okay with no responses. Edd was incredibly flustered under his gaze, likely feeling under attack in some way with his lack of response.
When it had been passed an hour, he stood. Edd looked up at him, surprised. "Listen," he had said to him. "I'm not gonna get some tutor. I don't want or need your help. You can tell Ms. Mayweather I said that."
"I-it's Haysmith."
"Whatever. Point is: I'm out."
He grabbed his backpack and left the library.
Later on that day, when he got home, his father asked him how the tutoring session had gone, and he completely ignored him and headed up to his room. He threw his backpack on the floor in an act of aggression, and jumped onto his bed with the plan to drown himself in his videogames.
.
.
Weeks after that had gone by. Winter break came and went, and they were back in school on the fourth of January. As he had been set to go to the school library to meet Edd to study every day during winter break, when he left the house early in the mornings, he would be back around to the other side of the cul-de-sac and sneak into Nazz's house while her family was away. They would hang and chat, and once or twice, he had even found himself kissing her — and only kissing her. Doing more, and even kissing her, did not feel quite right.
He had assumed that once he got back to school, he would be called into the guidance counselor's office to talk about how he had not attended any of his tutoring sessions with Edd. He had even passed Edd on the way to his class, who avoided eye-contact with him at all costs — he took that as a sign that he had told.
However, the day came and went, and nothing happened. The week came and went, and he still had not been called into her office. He was confused. Edd definitely had to have told on him — did the woman just not care anymore and was finally going to stop pestering him? He hoped so.
It was not until he pulled another failing grade from the first major exam of the term, ironically, in his Physics class, that he was given a call.
"Are the tutoring sessions not working?" She asked him in the privacy of her office. "Eddward had said that you were there every day, on time, and seemed to be picking up the material well. I was looking forward to a good result on this exam, Kevin."
When he had heard that, Kevin could not quite believe it. Edd had lied about his being there? Why on Earth would he do that?
"There are, of course, retakes for this exam since it is not a term final. Be sure to use this as a study guide for your next session with Eddward this afternoon, Kevin. You can't fail any of your upcoming class assignments if you want to pass."
Kevin had taken the test from her hands and walked out of her office. He had immediately sought after Edd — but he did not know his class schedule, nor did the two share any classes or even common friends that would know where he was. He supposed he would have to wait until after school, at the library, to see him and get some answers. He stuffed the failed exam into his backpack and headed to his fifth period class.
Throughout the day, he hoped to see Edd so he could talk to him then, but he could not find him or his friends, the other Eds, anywhere. He remembered thinking that Edd was probably purposely avoiding him for some reason — no, not for some reason. He was avoiding him because he likely thought Kevin hated him and would not want to see his face — yet he still lied to the guidance counselor about his being at their sessions over winter break. He did not understand. He also was not able to catch Edd throughout the school day, but when the time came, he was able to find him in the library; at the same table that he had been at, with the same materials, on the first day of the tutoring session.
"K-k-kevin?" Edd has asked when he looked up from doing what could only be his homework, and locked eyes with him. He clearly had not expected him there; he had probably already felt that Kevin would never come back to the library after what happened the first day.
"Why did you lie and say that I was here every day?" He was straight to the point. Edd seemed to shrink under his gaze, and looked away. "Dork. Answer me."
"W-w-w-well… I thought that… m-maybe you were j-just having a hard time digesting the situation? I doubt that this a pleasant turn of events, and you were most likely aggravated and angry and were not sure what to do. Th-that was my hypothesis, at the least. So I decided to t-test it and… give you some time to come around — although I never really thought…" His voice trailed off.
Kevin took some time to digest the situation. He looked at Edd for a good couple of minutes, and then focused on the ever-so familiar setup in front of him. While Edd had been doing his own work in the library, the books from their first session were still stacked on a pile next to him. Kevin's brows furrowed.
"Were you here… every day?"
"I thought that I had to be — i-in case you decided to come back one day, of course."
He sighed.
He could feel something bubbling unpleasantly in the pit of his stomach, and pulled up a chair and took a seat. Edd had looked up at him, but he, Kevin, had his hands covering his face as he chewed on his lips. He knew the feeling in his stomach — guilt and frustration — it had not left him since the first meeting with the guidance counselor telling him that he was on academic probation.
He had not been very happy at that meeting. In truth, he knew that what he was doing was likely hurting his future, but he blinded himself with delusions of grandeur to get by. It was just… that in the past couple of weeks, before the new school year had begun, he had been feeling rather down. His strained motivation had felt as though it was reaching its limits, and he began to find it harder and harder to get out of bed. Yet he did. He forced himself to. The results of which being that he spent so much effort just getting out of bed, that he did not seem to have any to pay attention in school and act as he should — he felt as though he literally did not have any more care to give.
He sighed, feeling a bout of the anti-motivation wave that he was now constantly plagued with, rolling up over his shoulders.
"Look, Edd—" He started, but he was unable to finish. He slumped back into his chair and took some deep breaths. The wave of anti-motivation crashed into him and he suddenly felt like being under his comforter in his bedroom, where he could deal with this where eyes would not be on him.
He bit his bottom lip.
"K-kevin, if I may…" Edd's voice was low and soft, and there was a detectable level of concern and worry and help that made Kevin look up and stare at the boy. "It is… none of my business but…" He paused. He seemed to be chewing something over in his own mind. "Sometimes… t-talking… and getting the level of help and support that you really need, helps." He stood and began to pack away all of the items that he had brought to the tutoring session. "My recommendation — and you truly do not have to take it if you do not want — is that you go have a proper talk with a figure you trust, and find what you need. I do not think that right now, what needs to be initially focused on, is the result of your current state."
He had his backpack on his two shoulders and the five textbooks that he had brought with him, in his hands. Kevin could see that he was having difficulty holding up all the books, but Edd did not seem ready to admit that.
"We can pick up on tutoring, if you would like, when you are ready. You have my best wishes." When Edd began to leave, Kevin stood almost out of reflex. He got in front of the smaller, yet somehow taller, boy and grabbed the textbooks from his hands. Edd was surprised, to say the least. "What—"
"We can talk after you finish helping me. I have a retake for Physics coming up." He took the books back to the table and laid them down. In truth, he did not know what brought him to do what he did. In truth, all he could clearly make sense of was that when Edd had spoken to him just now, it seemed like he could, dare he say it, relate to however it was that he was feeling; Kevin felt as though he had been able to read that on Edd's expression — and he responded to it. In truth, it was the first thing he had positively responded to in regards to this subject, in a very long time.
Edd had still been stunned, but he sat at the table and after a few moments of staring at him and deliberating in his mind, a smile came across his face.
"Well then, let us start."
.
.
The tutoring session, he would admit, had gone well. Edd had been very attentive and yet covered all the material that had been the center of his failed test, and of his retake, with surprising quickness; and despite the speed, he was able to pick-up on every word and correction, and had all of his questions heard and resolved. It was similar to having a one-on-one classroom lesson that was much more suited to his way of learning. They had even covered so much so quickly, that they managed to dip into other subjects, too.
When it was all over, the library was closing and it was incredibly dark. As it was past the last-call for locker usage at Peach Creek High, they had to take the textbooks with them to their home instead of getting the luxury to enter the school for a few minutes to leave them in their lockers.
He carried the books, despite Edd's persistence in trying to get one or two carried by him.
"I told you already, dork, I got this."
"Yes, I am well-aware of that, however—"
"Then stop asking me if you're so aware of it. They're just books and don't even weigh that much — even if it's five of them. Jeez…"
"I-I see… very well, then."
Since it was so late, he knew that his father was probably already at work by then. The man pulled 13-hour shifts at his place of work, certain days. As thus, he had to depend on his trusty bicycle to get him home that day; it would be a pain what with having to take the five textbooks with him, but he knew that some way, somehow, it could be done.
When they reached the bike rack where his was the only one left, he handed the textbooks to Edd momentarily before going to unchain it and set it up. When he was hopping on his bike, he took a look around the almost-empty parking lot and then asked Edd, "When are your parents coming to pick you up? I can wait here until they come, if you want."
"O-oh!" Edd exclaimed, caught by surprise. Kevin noticed the shuffle of his feet — the shuffle of his whole body — as pink crept onto his face. "I— m-my parents are still h-hard at work at the night shift in the hospital. Th-they will not be able to pick me up — I-I think I will just… walk."
"What are you, crazy?" Kevin asked, his face showing signs of annoyance. "There's no way a kid like you can walk home at night. Come on. Hop on."
Edd blushed heavily at his statement, and looked ready to decline and tell him that he was alright with walking home at the night's current level of darkness — (that he had done it several times before) — but he would have none of it. He gave Edd a look that told him that he would not accept any nonsense or excuse, and to just hop on.
"This honestly saves me the trouble of figuring out how I'm gonna take these textbooks home on my bike." He said, in a pseudo form of encouragement to Edd. "Sit in front of me since there's more space to hold them there."
"Will it not be difficult for you to peddle? My body will surely be an obtrusive force." Edd asked.
"Not even. You're as light as Sarah and we're like the same height — I'll be able to peddle just fine."
Edd nodded and went to sit in front of Kevin on the bicycle, with the textbooks in his lap. Kevin moved back a little to give Edd more surface on the bicycle seat so he was not stuck with the narrow end. He had never been so glad before for having opted to get a bigger seat when he removed the back part off of his trusty, childhood bicycle. When Edd was settled and had his feet on the front foot pegs for leverage, as well as one hand at the front in between his handle bars — comfortable, he had assured him he was — he began to maneuver the bicycle out of the school parking lot. In truth, it was a tad harder to peddle with Edd's body in front of his own, but that was only because he was not used to having someone ride in front; typically, it had always been in the back, using the pegs there and grabbing onto his shoulder.
For almost the whole ride, Edd's back was flush against his chest. He could tell the smaller boy was nervous from how he pressed himself more and more against him, as though to be protected by the cage that was his arms holding onto the handlebars at either side.
He had honestly never been that physically close to the boy, in his entire life.
During the ride, however, the shaking boy had said to him, "E-earlier you s-said that after the s-session we would… t-t-talk — a-a-about your p-p-p-problem…" He sounded like he was about to be sick — like any second now he was going to throw-up — and he supposed that was why Edd had brought up that topic; to focus his mind on something other than the bike ride, which was making him nauseous.
"Ah, yeah — I forgot."
"Y-y-y-you do not—"
"Nah, forget it. I will. I gotta at some point, right?" He smirked even though Edd could not see it. It was probably a defense mechanism for himself, trying to make a joke out of the situation, as he began to tackle a touchy subject. The smirk faded and there was silence besides the sounds of him peddling and the bike moving forward. It took him a while to say, "I… really can't explain it much, to be honest… I just… can't take this anymore…"
He felt on the verge of tears, now that he was finally confronting the millions of feelings that had been building up inside of him; but he would not dare cry in front of Edd, even though he could not see him. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and blinked to keep the tears back.
"I just—"
"F-find it h-h-hard to do simple t-t-tasks like get out of b-bed." Edd started, silencing him with how close to his current predicament that was. "Y-y-you know something i-i-is wrong, and you p-p-probably even know w-why s-something is wrong, bu-but… You c-c-cannot seem to duh-duh-do anything about it… No matter h-how hard you try…"
"…Yeah— Edd, have you—"
"I-it is actually q-q-quite common, eh-even though it is o-often misdiagnosed in yuh-yuh-youth…" He knew it. Edd had dealt with something like that. Knowing that made him feel… better, really. He was not alone in this. There was someone who understood — someone who could explain it to him and even help him; because gosh did he need help; he hated to admit it, but he needed it badly; and so far, the help he was getting, which focused on the results, was not what he truly needed — just like Edd had led to in the library.
He suddenly felt bolder and braver discussing those topics. For the rest of the ride to the cul-de-sac, he was honest to both himself and Edd about what was going on. At one point, he had started to cry, and did not hold back. He did not care about how Edd may view him for the crying — it felt like his soul needed it.
When they reached the cul-de-sac, he stopped in front of Edd's house, first. The smaller male was shaky as he got off of the bicycle, and Kevin found that he had to grab him by his upper body to help him to smoothly get on the sidewalk when he almost tripped during his dismount; the textbooks, at this time, were abandoned on the floor until Edd was stable once again.
"F-forgive me for that… disorderly display…" Edd commented, blushing.
Kevin shrugged at it. He found it more humorous than "disorderly", to be honest. He had never before seen someone who got, well, bike-sick, before.
"It's fine, just… be more careful next time." Kevin said to him. Edd nodded and went to reach for the textbooks, but Kevin was faster and got them before he did. "I told you that I'll be taking these home, today." Kevin said. "I still got a lot of studying left to do, on my own…"
"Ah, yes, correct. I had… forgotten."
He and Edd had stood at the sidewalk in front of Edd's house awkwardly. A lot of things had been confessed between the two of them on the ride there, and in its aftermath, he was sure that Edd was just as uncertain about how to act, as he had been. He watched Edd shuffle his feet, and Kevin gave a deep sigh; bringing about the first bit of noise to break the very awkward silence between them.
"I'll, uh, see you in the library tomorrow, Edd."
Edd perked up, smiling.
"Yes, do come. I will be waiting there for you."
He had unconsciously snorted at how eager and cheery — how happy — Edd sounded when he heard this. "Whatever, dork." He spat out of reflex, and not with a hint of anger or frustration in his voice. "Goodnight…"
"Goodnight, Kevin."
He had stood there until Edd walked into his home, giving a wave back at him. After, he put the textbooks on the seat of his bike and walked himself over to his house. The bike went into the garage from the side door that he unlocked, and he then entered his home from there, textbooks under his arms. The house was empty like he had expected, but in the dark he moved easily to the stairs and up to his bedroom; where he remembered sitting at his studying desk and committing himself to studying for the next few hours, only getting up to get a snack or to pee.
.
.
The following tutoring sessions after that were very fruitful.
He was picking up on the material and suddenly pulling grades that had his father and the guidance counselor — but most importantly, himself — proud. The good wave of grades was kicked-off with a near perfect score on the retake of the Physics exam that he had failed the week before. His exams after that, in both Physics and his other subjects, were marked in the high 80s and above. It boosted his ego, and he found himself wanting to do more. He even felt determined and confident enough to ask for and complete extra credit.
It was not all the seamless ride to success he was making it out to be, though. There were several nights that seemed harder than the rest and had him crying and on the verge of giving-up. During these nights, instead of burying himself under his bed covers, he found himself going over to Edd's, to talk.
The first night that he had done that, Edd was caught off guard and awkward — but more than happy to listen. They sat in his kitchen where Edd prepared some tea that he said always helped him during times like those, and he talked, and Edd listened, and he felt himself getting better. The next few times this happened, Edd was up and a pot of tea was already brewing. Eventually, Edd had asked him for his number, and he gave it to him, and Edd would start to call him every night when he was up studying, just to make sure that he was okay. Each time the phone rang and he saw Vincent in the Caller ID, he gave a sigh of relief and a small smile crept on his face. Sometimes there was something to vent about, and other times there was not, but it was the action of calling to make sure that he was okay that spoke volumes to him and made him happy.
He liked Edd, he decided at one point. He was a good kid who was doing so much to help him, even though he made it seem as though what he was doing was normal — which, probably, it could be. He had said several times that what he was doing was common sense — he was not going out of his way to do anything, like Kevin had once said that he was. He liked Edd — he was a good friend.
In time his grades pulled up, but he found that to move onto the next grade, he would only have to complete summer school — he had never before been more excited in his life about hearing those words. He would not flunk the grade; he just needed one more, summery month of work and he could move on with all of his pals to his sophomore year of high school. He remembered how he had felt getting this news from the guidance counselor — she looked ecstatic for him, but inside, he was probably jumping more in his seat than she was.
When it came to telling his father the good news, he had been a tad apprehensive. While his father's mood had improved when he saw his last report card, sporting more Bs than Cs and even one A, he wasnot sure how he would feel hearing about how his son would have to go to summer school to fully make-up the material. He remembered how his father had walked into his room in a rush that day, and he had assumed it was to yell at him for something — for his report card, when he saw the piece of paper in his father's hands and remembered what time of the year it was — until his father hugged him, and gave him a kiss on the head — and then said that for dinner, to celebrate, they would have his favorite.
He was contemplative about that the whole ride back to the cul-de-sac, with Edd sitting in front of him yet again. After each study session, it had become habit that the two boys ride back on Kevin's bicycle since Kevin's father was not home, and neither were Edd's parents.
He had, admittedly, shared his worries with (a bike-sick) Edd.
"Huh-he will be v-v-v-very happy to hear that, Kuh-kevin…" Edd said. "I-it is, after all, f-f-f-f—" Edd paused in his talking; he could hear the sound Edd's head made when it went against the middle of the handlebars where his hands were, and could even hear him deeply breathing. He had stopped the bike then, to make it easier for Edd to regain his composure. He still found it ridiculous that Edd was capable of getting motion sickness on his bike, but that did not mean that he would just allow Edd to remain suffering for long periods of time without allowing him a break.
"T-th-thank you…" Edd said, when the bike finally came to a stop.
"Take your time."
They stood on the road for a few minutes. Edd sat on the edge of the sidewalk, his head in his hands, and he remained on his bike, where he was most comfortable. After some time, Edd cleared his throat, grasping his attention, and said, "A-as I was saying, before… B-before my… disorderly display—" He rolled his eyes at Edd calling his previous actions that, again. "—Your father will be quite happy to hear that all which you must do is complete some weeks of summer school. With the alternative being getting held back, he cannot deny that this is much better."
"Yeah… I know…" He said; he lifted his hat for a brief moment to shuffle around his hair, before putting it right back on his head. "I just… I dunno, man. I can't explain while this is freaking me out so much."
"You do not need to." Edd said as he rose from the sidewalk and patted at the back of his clothing — probably in order to get rid of dirt there. "An explanation is not necessary — the actions are what matters. I believe that you ought to walk into your household today and be excited. Your father responded well to your improved grades, no?" Kevin nodded. Edd smiled; his braces glistening under the streetlights. "Then I can only imagine the level of his elatedness when he hears that you shall be passing onto the next grade, and that all that is required of you is a simple session of summer school. Those are my thoughts."
Kevin's flat-lined mouth slowly turned into a smile. "Get on," he said to Edd. "I gotta get home early so I can wake-up and tell him when he gets back."
Edd was not eager to get on the bike once again — he knew this — but did, in an act that he would later know was done because Kevin needed to get home, and he did not want to keep him occupied much longer. When Edd was on, he made sure to pull Edd as flush against him as possible, and to cage him in with his arms, too, because he knew that one of the things that helped Edd to get through the bike rides each day, was to focus on one solid, immovable piece of his surroundings — him, Kevin. He heard Edd breathe deeply, and this time, instead of in front of him, Edd's hands are wrapped around his arms.
"Please be quick…" Kevin heard Edd mutter low beneath his breath.
He nodded and took off. He had gone at what he considered then to be his fastest speed, ever, on the bike with Edd on it, and made sure to reach the cul-de-sac in but three minutes — two ahead of his usual time from their previous stopping point. He, like always, helped Edd get off of the bike and held him until the boy was steady on his feet and had his equilibrium back.
"Guh-good lord…" He heard Edd mutter when he was recollecting himself. "I am quite glad to not have chosen being an astronaut as my dream profession."
"You wouldn't even last through the training."
"Quite right."
Edd finally stood on his own two feet after a little while, and Kevin let go. Edd moved back some fixed his clothes, he watching him quietly — calmly — until Edd lifted his head and said to him, "There is a vehicle in your driveway."
"What?" He remembered feeling both panic and shock as he turned his head to look over at the other side of the street, and spotted his father's car under the lights of his garage. "He's… home early…" Suddenly the bravado he had put on when Edd and he had re-gotten on the bike, melted away. His stomach churned. His mind reverted back to the state it had been in those five minutes before, a worried pile of mush in his skull.
"Would you…" Edd started. "Would you require… a physical presence for encouragement as you explain the situation to your father?" He asked tentatively. He turned to him, confused. Edd went on saying, "Would you like me to be there… w-while you tell him — as in… sh-shall I go with you?" He was fiddling with his hands and shuffling his feet, and he recognized those signs as Edd's nervousness and anxiety, and steeled himself as he shook his head "no".
"I can do it on my own — but… I… might have to call you, later, if something goes on, ya know…"
"I shall sit near my house phone, then."
He had managed a slight grin for Edd, and Edd smiled a bit, too. The two of them then separated and he took the short bike ride across the street, to his house. It was one of the most maddening rides to his house, that he had ever taken. When he was going in from the side of the garage door, when he looked up back over at Edd's house to see if he had already gone in, he was (happily) surprised to see that Edd had yet to leave that spot where he had left him, in front of his house. He gives a nod at the boy, happy that the side door light wass on and allowing Edd to see it. Edd gives him what he thinks was a double thumbs-up (since it was darker on Edd's side and he had a hard time seeing him clearly), and he then took a breath and entered his home.
He left his bicycle in the garage — (where but a few months after would house him day and night as he worked on his motorcycle) — and went into his house to find his father in the kitchen, making himself a sandwich.
"Hey dad. You're home early." He had said.
"Oh, Kevin, I thought that was you." His father said to him. He watched as his father went about licking his fingers of some tuna salad. "Want something to eat?"
"No thanks, actually…" He paused; his hands had gone into his pockets and his feet shuffled — almost copying Edd, exactly. He had never really felt so nervous in front of his father before; not even when he had been made to confess fully on his sinking grades in class. His dad, being his dad and knowing him so well, had caught on quicker than he would have liked.
"What's wrong? It's school, isn't it?" His father's voice had been deep and grave, and he could hear concern and worry — (and anger, maybe anger) — in it.
He swallowed. "I… heard from the guidance counselor. Y-you know her, right? Ms. Hayweather — Haysmith, I mean!"
"You're stalling, son." His father's word had been like a punch to the gut. "Please just…" He paused for a brief moment. His eyes closed and he began to move around his arm in a moment of both bracing himself for what he was about to say, and possible reevaluating the life choices that led to that. (He always wondered if his father regretted having him as a son, during that entire ordeal.) "Out with it."
"I gotta go to summer school — to pass."
There was silence for a moment.
"Summer school?"
"Y-yeah… If I can do well there, I'll have recovered all my credit and be able to move on without any problem…"
"That… that's great news!" His father's face lit up and the man moved faster than he had ever seen him, as he went over to him and grasped his shoulders. On his father's face was the brightest smile he would ever see. He was shocked at first, but when his father said, "Why didn't you just say that? You'll be able to pass? You won't be held back? That's all I've been wanting these past few months — son, I am so happy to hear this!" He smiled then, too, and all his past thoughts poofed out of his mind like smoke.
"I thought you were gonna be angry!" He said to his father, laughing, and earned a firm slap on his shoulder for it; it was not out of anger, he knew, but out of his own silliness for thinking that.
"Don't be ridiculous!" His father said. "Why would I be angry?"
"Because it's summer school!" He replied. "You told me you never wanted me going there!"
"That was if it was for you failing — but this means that you're succeeding! This is great news — great news! Come, we gotta celebrate this. I made some tuna fish sandwiches but… how do you feel about pizza?"
The next few hours had been spent with him and his father happily chatting on the couches in the living room and watching sports and eating pizza, and when it came time to retire for the night, he called Edd — who was more than delighted to hear how well things had turned out for him, and gave him a well-deserved and positive "I told you so."
.
.
Summer school came and went. Just like he had predicted, with the help of Edd who stayed loyally at his side, he was able to finish making up all the course work and earned all the credits he needed to make his moving on to the tenth grade, concrete and final. When he went one summer day to get his report card from summer school in person, and read this news in a separate letter attached, he grinned from ear-to-ear and immediately rushed over to Edd's house.
"Hello, Kevin, how—"
"I passed!" He shouted when Edd opened the door. "I finished! I mean— look! I did it! I completed summer school — I'm not getting held back! Officially!"
"Th-that is fantastic news to hear, Kevin!" Edd exclaimed, smiling. "I am quite jubilant for you. Congratulations."
"Yeah, well… I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for all your tutoring. And, you know… all the other stuff, too…" In truth, it was not the explaining of the course subjects and their materials that ended up helping him, he felt; it was all the nights of talking and listening and feeling better that truly, truly, made the difference. It was the act of being understood, and getting the help he needed.
That was what helped him pass. He felt that in earnest.
"I am very glad to hear that…" Edd said, his voice soft and still exuding happiness; but on a different level than before. More relieved.
"Yeah… Listen, Edd—" He pauses when he looks up to meet Edd's eyes. He was stunned. Edd was crying.
"I-I am… v-very happy for you." He was shaking, too.
"W-w-w-what's wrong?" He was caught off guard. What had Edd crying? Did he say something wrong? No. That could not have been — their conversation had so far had been something very pleasant and friendly; almost like a small, one-on-one celebration between the two. How could that have possibly made Edd sad? He had not been able to understand.
He had completely missed the fact that Edd was smiling and was unable to connect that with the chance that Edd's tears were not of sadness, but of happiness. However, he began to see that when Edd began to wipe at the tears and his metal-filled smile was more prominent; as well as his laughter.
"F-forgive me for frightening you just now, Kevin," Edd said as he continued to smile and cry. "I— There is nothing wrong. I am simply… so relieved!"
"What?" Kevin asked.
"I am so happy for you!" He exclaimed more loudly; his hands were away from his face and Kevin could then clearly see all the positive signs of expression that made up the boy's face. He had gone wide-eyed at them. "I… To speak candidly, I have been so worried about you these past few months, Kevin. I saw how hard you were working and was doing calculations at each interval to see if the progress you were making was enough. I had never concluded that it was, and that made me sick to my stomach, until the day you brought up summer school, which I had never considered as a factor before then. I had always kept my calculations strictly to the end of the school year. Haha! I had been so perturbed and frightened but now? Now you—!" Edd's happy tears flowed faster, and Kevin soon smiled and began to laugh, himself.
His hand went to wipe at Edd's tears. "Dork. You had me scared there for a second. I thought something had been wrong."
"F-forgive me. I did not mean to come across like that. I assure you, all is well." As though to encompass everything and anything into his statement, Edd briefly stopped his fit of laughter and happy-tears and looked directly into his eyes. "All is well…"
Looking back now, he could recall the exact things that had brought him to his next actions. He remembered feeling overjoyed for several reasons: Edd was not crying out of sadness. Edd was more than happy for him. Edd had been worried for him all this time. Edd had tried to make sure that he finished the school year. Not to mention, there were also the factors that came not from Edd's actions, but Edd, himself. The tears on his face. The wide smile. The open book of emotions in his blue eyes. The… dorkiness of it all, really.
With these things in mind, his hands had travelled from Edd's cheeks, down the sides of his face, where he cupped them and — with an action that he had then said was due to his not-thinking, but now knew that that was entirely wrong — then moved his face closer to meet.
He remembered smiling against the kiss, and thinking that Edd was smiling, too, because he had been when he was crying and so, naturally, he would have been smiling against the kiss, no?
No.
Edd had not smiled.
Edd had instead pushed Kevin back with more force than either of them had known he was capable of, and slammed the door in Kevin's face. He had stood stunned on the other side of the door for quite some time, before he began banging on it asking Edd, once again, what was wrong.
"Edd? Edd! Edd, open this door! I'm sorry! What's wrong?!"
The only response he had gotten was, "Go away! Do not come near me!" It was the only guidance he had received, and could follow.
I hope you guys enjoyed this... not so much "peek" as a "direct look" into what happened between Eddward and Kevin their freshman year. There's of course going to be constant mention of it going forth, so I'm glad you'll all be knowing what exactly went down. For the moment, though, I enjoyed writing the subtle fluff between the two. =u=
Next Chapter: This flashback is nice, but... Let's go back to the current time stream for a bit, okay?
Please review!
Updates every Monday and Friday.
~ Inkle