A/N: Just letting you know, this chapter talks about death of a loved one, dealing with grief, that sorta thing. There's also lesbian sexual content coming up (rating: M) so if that's in anyway offensive to you I recommend not reading on.

Also I love thoughts, any thoughts, so share yours if you've got some about what I'm writing. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: of course I don't own any Buffy the Vampire Slayer original material, and of course no one's paying me to come up with stories about characters that aren't even on TV anymore. You know the drill.

Previously in Cobwebs and Silk...

"What do you think?! She's just some helpless amnesia chick who misplaced her physical form for three years?! She's not meant to be here Tara." She hissed.

Tara was silent. Amy couldn't read that expression. She was never that good at reading emotions.

"You know I'm right. We have to do this. We have to send her away from this world. She doesn't belong here. She never belonged here. We're doing this, alright?"

Tara was still silent.

Oh this is going to be too easy.Amy smiled.

Chapter 4: Lub-dub

{{…{[(TARA)]}…}]

Tara felt accountable for the silence, manipulated by it, nauseous because of it, but despite all that she couldn't seem to remember how to speak. Her jaw was stiff, locked in place. Her eyes wide. And she had the strange sensation that all the blood had suddenly drained from her head and pooled in her chest. She could feel her heart contract and relax in rigid tight motions, as all she was aware of was it's beating. It was so fast. Lub-dub, .lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

Tara had felt this sensation exactly once in her life. It was the day that the earth shattered and the sky fell into oblivion, the day that her mother died.

"I'm sorry sir, she's gone." A well dressed man with a stethoscope hung over his shoulders said.

He was addressing her farther, as she sat close by on one of the familiar waiting room chairs in ICU. She had spent hours in this waiting room over the last week. Usually a receptionist would say, "Oh their just getting your mother cleaned up dear, why don't you just stay here until I call you in." Or "She's just in the middle of a procedure darling, sit tight, I'll let you know when you can see her." When Tara thought about it she realized that she had spent more time here, on this chair, then the one beside her mother's bed. But in a way she was grateful. Because whenever they would usher her through into the unit her mother would be comfortably propped up in bed with fresh white pillows and Tara didn't want to know what she looked like before they "cleaned her up" because she doubted there was much dignity in that. She remembered little things, like braiding her mother hair because she hated when it fell in her face, and realizing a few drops of dry blood on perfectly folded white sheets. But all in all, she knew that her mother wasn't going to make it, she'd known for three weeks, because her mother had told her the day they found the tumors. "Tara baby, look at me." She had implored. Tara remembered soft blue eyes. She could still smell the moisturizer she used on her skin as she lifted her chin and tucked blonde hair behind ears.

Tara hadn't expected it would feel so sudden; she'd had a month, one whole month to accept it. That's more time than most people get. And her mother was quite the fortune-teller; she knew this was how it would end. In a way this is how everyone ends, so why is the human race perpetually shocked when their inevitable mortality is proven?

But Tara couldn't feel anything, nothing but lub-dub, .lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

Amy was just staring openly, here in the public place, the safety of the Espresso Pump. I wish she would stop looking at me like that, why is she looking at me like that?

"Tare? Hello?" She waved her fingers.

Say something, do something.

"Tara." an impatient tone.

Anything, just react. But Tara was just staring at Amy across the table.

" This is Amy speaking requesting Miss Maclay return to the conversation. I repeat Miss Maclay return to the conversation." Amy was now doing her best impression pilot and speaking into her hand as if there was an invisible walkie-talkie in her palm.

"I-I-I-I ummmmm." She managed.

"There she is!" Amy laughed.

"Www-we c-can't j-just..." she stammered. She really didn't stutter anymore, not normally, but this wasn't normal. Far from it.

"Hey, hey, Tare." Amy grabbed Tara's hand in attempt to comfort, but Tara didn't feel reassured, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"We don't have to do it tonight. I'll give you some time, hey?"

Tara nodded and offered a strangled smile. That was all she could do, because she was still stuck in the state of lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

[[...{[(GILES)]}...]]

Giles arrived home from the Magic Box. He wasn't really needed there now that Anya was so efficient at business and had mastered the art of customer service. Buffy had retired to the training room and the others had gone on their own ways.

They're all so young and I'm just...superfluous. I'm beginning to wonder if my redundancy has become so blatantly obvious that I really have no other choice then to leave.

He sighed gently as he made his way to the kitchen to boil the kettle. This morning when Giles woke up he felt...out of place. He was shocked at the warmth of the sun, and the size of his room. He'd been shocked he wasn't in England. It was such a strange notion, the realization of his own irrelevance, but Giles decided it was some sort of sign to tell him it was time to move on.

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when his slammed open with tremendous force.

"GILES?!" Buffy yelled as she burst through the door.

Giles poked his head around the corner.

"Giles! You're here, great! I need to talk to you! My dream I figured it out! Well not the dream part...the waking up part..."

"You practically broke down my door to tell me you understand waking up this morning?" Giles asked in a tiresome tone of voice as he met Buffy in his lounge room.

"No Giles, listen to me okay. I think..." she crinkled her forehead.

"I think there's something wrong with this reality. " She said seriously.

"Like an alternate universe? A portal? A corresponding plain?" He was intrigued. The Watcher within him beaming with suggestions.

"I dunno...I just, the weird feeling I've got...I've had it before. With Jonathan, and Cordy's wish and Dawn and I think it means something..."

"Like you've sensed a shift in reality? Well that's very intuitive of you Buffy, you're sure this isn't just stress, I mean you're under a lot of pressure and the slayer had certain responsibilities that might..."

"Giles. I'm sure. My spider-senses are defiantly tingling."

There was a quiet moment as Giles accepted Buffy's statement, letting it sink in to his mind and adjust to his thinking.

"And you say you've had this feeling before?"

Buffy nodded.

"Well that...that's a very disturbing thought now isn't it..." Giles muttered as he walked toward his collection of books to investigate.

{{…{[(TARA)]}…}]

Amy had wanted to go out after coffee, but Tara wasn't in the mood.

And when Amy suggested they go to her place, Tara said she felt like being in her own apartment. She knew Amy didn't like it there. She always said that she hated being on campus unless absolutely necessary, and that the little fairy lights looked like a twelve year-old had been in charge of her decorating.

Amy had started being overly friendly as they made their way up flights of stairs and through halls and Tara couldn't even fain interest.

In truth Amy was really scaring her. The way she talked, the way she acted. Like everything was hers to with as she pleased. Even now as Tara stood inside her room and Amy worked her fingers underneath the hem of her shirt, sliding it over her head. Tara felt owned.

She still couldn't breath properly since the Espresso Pump, and she wished Amy had got the hint and left her alone after they had got here. She needed space. But Amy seemed to have other ideas as she kissed the skin of Tara's neck with greedy lips, biting at her pulse point, and licking up to her ear.

Tara was tied, too tired to argue with her girlfriend right now. But she wasn't really there. She tried to concentrate on feeling Amy, feeling her hands fiddle with the clasp of her bra, but she couldn't. She was numb.

As Amy guided her back to the bed Tara was glad that the lights were off, glad Amy couldn't see her face. Amy tossed the bra across the room and started her way down Tara's chest. Tara knew she should close her eyes. Knew she should focus on the warmth of Amy's hands, and lips and tongue but she simply glanced around the room wondering how Amy was so unaware of her discontentment. Then, she sore something…in the far corner of the room, shadowed by the darkness. Amy roughly pushed Tara so that she sit on the bed and began removing boots, unzipping jeans, and Tara causally slid her hand to the lamp by her bed a flicked it on.

Then there she was. Two glistening green eyes frozen and petrified. Scarlet.

"Hmmm" Amy groaned throwing jeans to the floor oblivious to the ghost by the oak wardrobe behind her.

"Mm-No-Mmm-Lights-Ahhmm" Amy groaned as she pressed her mouth to Tara's thighs.

Tara was staring, wide eyed and frozen at the small redhead in the corner. Scarlet seemed in some state of extreme shock, she was standing stiffly as if willing her limbs to move, desperate to be anywhere else. But all she seemed able to do was stare into Tara's eyes looking terrified, embarrassed and very out of place.

Tara quickly flicked the lamp off.

"That's more like it." Amy growled as she started kissing up Tara's leg. It was only then that Tara realized what was happening. Scarlet often stayed here. Sometimes they would talk, or sometimes they would just sit in mutual silence. Either way tonight she had obviously been waiting for Tara to come home. And home Tara was…with Amy, who was pushing her legs apart with strong hands.

But Tara could see Scarlet now in the dim lighting, and she looked simply mortified. She'll never feel this... She's probably never even been kissed before, if she has she doesn't even remember... She can't even hold someone's hand…Tara thought sadly. She could feel it now, Scarlet's aurora tugging gently at her own as if anchored by a rope. She could taste the strawberries and smell sweetness all around her.

Then the red haired girl shook her head mutely. As if trying to say something, trying to apologize, and Tara realized that she probably assumed she was angry.

"It's okay" Tara mouthed silently to her friend.

"Thank-you" Scarlet mouthed with a apprehensive nod as she shyly looked away and glided slowly from the room. It was then that the numbness returned, and Tara couldn't help miss the other girl's presence.

Amy never even noticed a thing.

TBC