Disclaimer: I know, hard to believe right, i have to remind myself sometimes, but i don't own twilight. Gutted.

Oh dear lord, you don't even know how much stress this chapter has caused me!! I hope you think it's worth it!

Also thank you to my reviewers and those who have favourited this etc, it makes me feel good! WOOP! Snaps for you! (TrixieRocka, i've taken your review into account and made the paragraphs shorter, i thought they were getting a bit long too... so it should be easier to read)

So i really do hope you guys keep reading this, read the end A/N too, so i can explain why i've done what i've done etc etc,

PROCEED...

Chapter 4- When you see it, then you'll understand

BPOV

Despite me falling asleep on Edward, I really wasn't tired anymore. I sat on Alice's plush bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. Her bed was huge, I wondered if she ever found herself drowned in it because she was so small. I wouldn't be surprised. I was being swallowed by it and I'm bigger than she is.

She had a white duvet spread over the bed, decorated with small flowers. I was studying one when she suddenly came bounding out of the bathroom and onto the bed.

"Yay, I'm glad you're not sleeping. That would be so boring! So, what do you want to do?" I thought for a second before replying,

"I don't know, can we just talk?" I looked at her, slightly worried she would reject my idea as dull. Her reaction was the opposite,

"Yeah let's talk! I want to know everything about you! Tell me about your friends in Phoenix, and about your mom, and about Phoenix in general. You know, I've never been there. Tell me about your life! And tell me about the boys!" I smiled before telling her my life up until how it was now.

I told her about my friends and the things we'd done and what they were like, and about my mum and her husband, how I thought sometimes she was crazy but I adored her.

It made me smile, and sort of egged me on, when I realised Alice was honestly interested in everything I was saying, letting out the odd 'no way!' or 'wow' or just giggling.

"So you've never had a boyfriend?" She sounded shocked.

"Nope. None of the boys in Phoenix were my type. They were all just so obsessed with themselves. I mean people asked me out and everything, but... no. Some were really good looking, like Leo Willis, wow, but we had nothing in common. He was just some eye candy, you know?"

"Mhm, yeah I know. Before me and Jasper were together, and that was about two years ago, it seemed like there was no one who would ever spark my interest. I mean, I met plenty of really attractive boys... really attractive boys.

But none of them would ever compare with Jasper. It sounds so cheesy and cliché and I know I'm still young but, he is honestly my everything and I couldn't ever ever ever imagine myself with anyone else." I smiled as she said this.

"That's so nice. You're so lucky to have someone like him. I mean, I've seen you two together for 2 days, but I can just tell your relationship is so strong. He looks like he would jump in front of a bullet for you, without any second thought."

"As I would do for him. I truly believe he is my soul mate, I love him more than anything else." She began to gaze off beyond me, smiling. Then she shook her head, "Anyway back to you. So, we're getting to the juicy bits! How far have you gone with a boy?"

"Mm, kissing I guess. I'm a bit of a nun, but I've been stuck in this nunnery for too long!" I laughed and so did Alice, throwing her head back. "What about you and Jasper?"

"Oh yeah we've done everything. I guess I should warn you we have a pretty active sex life." I raised my eyebrows and smiled,

"What? We're not nearly as bad as Rose and Em. Oh Jesus! You haven't heard anything until you've heard them. And they're next-frikkin-door to me!" She said pointing at the wall to her right.

"It's horrible!" I laughed as her mouth turned down at the sides. Then she smiled at me again,

"Don't worry, I'll find some knight in shining armour to break you out of that nunnery, just you wait." She winked at me then and I sighed.

School was in a few days, but I knew what to expect having met people from school at the party today. I picked up on who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. For example, be friends with Angela and Ben; avoid Jessica, Lauren and Mike.

Mike Newton was just really creepy. He kept eyeing me up and winking to me at the party. I tried to move as far away from him as possible, which was hard when he came over to join in with conversations.

And Edward didn't seem to like him either and I thought Edward seemed to be a good judge of character. So I would definitely avoid Mike. Just the thought of him made me cringe, ew.

Alice was talking to herself, "Hmm, what boys are there at school? There's Tyler? Maybe? No. There's that Sam kid in French, he's cute. There's always... him? Maybe?" She looked at me questioningly, "Maybe..."

"What are you thinking, Alice?" I asked, raising only one eyebrow.

"Ah, just thinking about who I could set you up with... this could be interesting." She smiled menacingly and clapped her hands.

"Oh god Alice, should I be scared?"

"Oh no, no... Actually, maybe yes." She laughed to herself as we both fell backwards on the bed, putting our heads on the pillows. She turned off the bedside lamps as we got into the bed. I was feeling really tired now, it must have been around two in the morning though, to be fair. I could feel myself being pulled in the familiar way, and knew sleep was imminent.

"I'm really glad you came back, Bella." Alice said sleepily. I just smiled and then I was gone.

The weekend passed pretty quickly, I spent all of Saturday at the Cullen's and Alice took me to Seattle... in her yellow Porsche. I couldn't believe it either, her first car, a Porsche! It was beautiful!

I happily went along because I needed some new clothes myself. When I told her this, her face lit up. And I understood why later. No-one had told me of Alice's shopping obsession, or that she found any excuse to buy clothes, whether they were for herself or for other people. Me being the 'other people'.

That day, I went into the some of the most expensive shops I have ever been in. And the amount of money Alice spent! It was more than I hoped to earn in a life time, mm, slight exaggeration maybe? But still, she spent so much, and to my horror, she'd spent so much money on me! I insisted she take the items she's bought back, but she told me she wouldn't do such a thing and that I would 'take them, wear them, and love them' and that would be the end.

When I walked into the house carrying all the designer bags, looking as if someone had just killed my dog, not that I had one, the boys just laughed at me,

"Why didn't you warn me?!" I whined as I stood there, my head falling backwards and my arms being pulled down by the weight of the bags.

They were sitting in the living room watching me.

"We thought it would be funnier to see your face when you came back. Snaps for you Bella, you really delivered the goods! Literally! That was well worth the wait!"

I didn't find Jaspers comment amusing, although all three of the boys were holding their stomachs laughing. I glared at them, putting the bags down.

"Oh you can all just shut up, next time I'm going to make sure you have to come."

I crossed my arms and scowled as they carried on laughing. I could feel my cheeks begin to flush, but not because I was embarrassed, and this just sent them into another round of hysterics. I 'hmphed' and stalked over to the large sofa, sitting as far away from them as I could.

Alice soon came flying in with her bags, rushing upstairs to put them all into her room, then she came springing into the room and sat next to me. I still had my arms crossed and was frowning,

"Oh cheer up Bella, you've been like this all the way home!" She said, kneeling beside me. She stuck out her bottom lip and looked at me wide eyed. I couldn't help but smile,

"Oh fine. It's just you spent so much money on me! I feel terrible... what am I supposed to give you?" I looked down and frowned again. She put her hand on my leg and smiled, still her face was serious,

"Bella, you don't have to give me anything back. It makes me happy buying you clothes. As long as you're my friend, you've given me enough."

It was really strange how Alice could go from being childlike and innocent, to sounding like a woman twice her age with twice her lifetime of knowledge. Still, what she said was pretty touching and so I hugged her,

"Wow, Alice. That was deep." Emmett said trying to hold back a laugh. She shot him a glare.

"Maybe you should invest in a float, Emmett. Being so big, you might drown." She said with narrow eyes.

"Hey, shut up... Swimming's never been one of my talents." Everyone looked at Emmett then, who was looking annoyed, and laughed.

"Hey where's Rose today anyway?" I finally asked after the laughter had subdued. Jasper shrugged,

"She went to visit our older sister. She's just starting college so I think Rose went up there to help her settle in."

Edward tensed as soon as he said this, his hands curling into fists. I could see in the corner of my eye that Alice was watching him and he was looking up at the ceiling, his mouth moving slightly but no sound coming out. Is he talking to himself?

"Oh, Tanya." Emmett said shaking his head and smiling. It looked as if he was remembering better times. "She's one crazy chick." Edward closed his eyes and tensed his jaw. I saw Alice sit up a tad moving closer to the edge of the sofa, looking a bit distressed.

"Yeah, she is pretty cool. It was kinda sad when she went. I'm going to miss her, but I think Rose is taking it the hardest right now. They were like, best friends. She's coming back for the holidays though so I'm sure you'll meet her then."

I tried to picture Tanya in my head. If she was the sister of Jasper and Rose, she would be stunning. Man, it sucks to be you...me...whatever.

"Cool." I was smiling at Jasper when Edward got up and thundered out from the room, his hands still clenched in fists. Alice put her hand on my arm and then quickly followed him up the stairs. The three of us left in the room followed them with our eyes as they left. Then there was silence. ...Cough.

"What the hell was that about?" Emmett finally said, reaching for the remote and turning to TV on.

"I don't know... that was weird." Jaspers face was confused and strained, as if he was trying to remember something he already knew but was coming up short. He shook his head and sighed. Clearly he was just as out of the loop as Emmett and I.

Some baseball game was on and soon both of them were engrossed in it. I was too busy thinking about why Edward had stormed out like that and how it seemed Alice knew what was going to happen; she was just waiting for it. She was on the edge of her seat, literally.

"I'm going to go and see if they're ok." I said standing up and heading out of the room towards the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah sure. Whatever." Emmett had replied, waving his hand submissively, making me laugh internally.

I headed up the stairs and to Alice's room. I decided to hang back as I could see Edward sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Alice was kneeling on the bed beside him with her small hands on his shoulder.

"It's not your fault, Edward. She's always been a manipulative bitch. I really don't see how everyone doesn't see it. I hate her. I do. I don't care that she's Rosalie and Jasper's sister."

"Alice."

"What? It's true. I'll always hate her for what she did to you." She frowned,

"It doesn't matter now. I've moved on. It just makes me so angry to think how I let her affect me. To think, I thought she loved me. I thought I..." He stopped and shook his head. "No, I never loved her."

"Edward." Alice squeezed his shoulder

He was rubbing his face, "I was just so stupid. I'm still so stupid! I'm just..."

"Edward, don't say that. You're not stupid. In fact, I know more than anyone how so not stupid you are." She smiled at him.

"It's just... Sometimes, I feel so lonely." Alice turned his head to face her and stared into his eyes as if they were having a mental conversation. He felt lonely. I couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for him. Although pity would be the last thing he would want. I knew that. Sometimes I felt lonely too.

I turned to lean against the wall but the floor boards creaked as I moved. Oh. Fuck. Off. They would have blatantly heard me. I put my head slightly round the door frame to check anyway...

When I peered round, they were both looking up at me, their faces blank. Really subtle, Bella. I'm thinking maybe you should get in touch with the C.I.A., see if they've got any vacancies, you know? Oh, shut up. This was so awkward.

"Sorry, I, um, I came up to see if you were ok, but then I heard you talking, and, um, I didn't mean to listen in, its just, I, uh, I didn't want, to interrupt you, and I was going to go away, but the floor, and uh, yeah... I'm going to go now. Sorry."

I flushed a dark red and turned to go back downstairs. Mrs. Tomato, it's been too long, really!

"Bella, It's fine... don't worry about it." I turned to see Edward beginning to stand. I looked down, I felt like such an idiot. Alice was looking up at him with a hand on his side.

"Edward." She said quietly, looking down.

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine now, just..." He looked down at Alice and smiled briefly, "Thanks."

He walked to the door and stood in front of me. I didn't look up, I couldn't. He just stood in front of me and then after a while, sighed. Then I looked up at him. He searched my eyes with his. And then he stopped. I didn't know what he was looking for, or whether he'd found it, but he looked down, then to Alice who was still kneeling on her bed with a puzzled look on her face, then to me again.

He was thinking about something as he turned to walk away. I wasn't breathing. I nearly turned to mush on the floor. But then shame set in and I remembered what had just happened. Gahhhh.

Alice laughed and jumped up to take my hand, "Oh Bella. What are we going to do with you." I was thinking kill her, tie her up and throw her in the lake? Just an idea I've been playing around with...

EPOV

I put all thoughts of Tanya into the furthest part of my mind, and locked them away. I was never going there again. Ever. She was just a sad part of my past. A part I didn't wish to relive anytime soon... or ever.

I didn't want to think about it. I don't think anyone knows, apart from Alice. And now, maybe Bella. How long had she been standing there? Did she hear everything? She obviously heard the 'lonely' part. How pathetic Edward, really. She probably thought I was some kind of loser. Huh.

But I don't think she'll tell anyone. At least I hope she doesn't. No, I know she won't. If Alice can trust her, then surely I can too. But her loyalties don't lie with me... Oh I don't know. I'm too tired and confused for this.

I was sure Esme would be home soon with dinner, not that I was hungry. It was eight already so I decided it would not be too much of a ridiculous time to go to bed. I must have been lying there in the dark for about an hour when the door opened. I had rolled onto my side so I was unable to see who it was.

They stood for a while, softly shutting the door, and then slowly moved to my bed, and from the way my bed slightly sunk, they'd sat on the end. I didn't move, or speak. Maybe it would be better if they thought I was sleeping. And I didn't really want to talk to anyone now anyway. Then they began to speak quietly,

"Um..." she cleared her throat. It was Bella. Bella was sitting on my bed. On my bed. In my room. I had to hold myself back otherwise I would have jumped on her then and there. Alright, Tiger... She shifted slightly,

"Hmm, I guess you are sleeping... it doesn't really matter, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for listening in, I didn't intend to, I just wanted to see you were alright..." she paused again.

"Ok, thank god you're asleep because I sound like a complete dumbass." The bed shuddered again, and from the sound of her breath and the movement, I guessed she was laughing to herself.

"But if by any chance you are awake and you're just trying not to embarrass me... not that you should get up now. I would really prefer if you were asleep, because... I can't... I don't know..." She trailed off and there was silence for a while.

"I won't tell anyone. What I heard. I mean it's not any of my business... but Alice told me... and you can talk to me... if you want."

She got up, and I heard her heading for the door. I wanted to tell her to come back and sit on my bed and keep talking to me. Maybe I did want to talk to her. Maybe I just wanted her to talk to me. She opened the door and a rush of light from the hallway came into the room. Normally I would have groaned, but I didn't make a sound.

"I know what it's like... being lonely. Sometimes I am. And I just wanted you to know... that I do and... yeah. I know you haven't known me for very long." She sighed. "But, I... you can trust me." She shut the door then and I could hear her descending the stairs.

"Bella, where did you go? I was looking for you, but then Jasper distracted me..." I could hear Alice on the floor below.

"Well I went to the bathroom, and then I realised I'd never been up there before. I guess I was just being nosey" she giggled, "Distracted! I bet you were!"

They both laughed at this and Alice said she would take her home.

I sat up in my bed and looked aimlessly into the darkness. Had she really been there or was that just my imagination. And Alice had told her everything? Would she do that? Maybe I really had fallen asleep without realising it.

Not that I would be angry at Alice if she had. All that resentment towards... her, must have been eating away at her. I knew she wanted nothing more than to tell Jasper, but she wouldn't. She knew he'd be upset and that would just upset her, and seeing her upset, because of me as well, would just upset me and Esme hated seeing me upset, and Carlisle her... So it would just set off a chain reaction.

No, if anyone knew, I was happy it was Bella. I hadn't known her for long, three days, wow, but I could see she had the makings of a real friend. She wasn't quick to judge or criticise. She observed and then formed her opinions. She seemed so decisive too. Once her decision was made, I bet she'd follow it through. Whether it was going to end badly or not.

Like her decision to move to Forks.

She could have changed her mind and stayed, not have to deal with the inconvenience of having to meet new people, settle into new routines...

Bella was different from anyone else I knew. I didn't now how yet, what it was exactly. But I'd figure it out. I could see it in her eyes, something, but I didn't know what it was. Something familiar and yet totally alien. I'd figure it out. I'd figure her out... eventually.

Ok, i know there wasn't that much humour in this but again, i'm trying to drag it on, and if i don't give myself enough things to drag it on with, then they're just going to get together and we know they are, but like, NOT YET! so yeah, i was discussing the next chapter with my friend, definately will be more humour in that

AND Tanya and Edward, what went on there hmmmmmm? well i'm sure we'll find out soon... oooooooo ;)

i'm quite excited to write it actually :) well i hope you enjoyed this, i don't know when i'll put up the next chapter, it won't be too long (it'll probably be tomorrow because i get really bored and then start writing...) but i've got loads of revision so...

Thank you again for reading, thanks to those who review! Thanks to everyone!! I have a lot of love for you guys! MWAH XOXO