Kylo Ren desperately tried to wake himself up. He was aware that he was asleep, stuck in nightmare after nightmare, but he couldn't seem to shake them. Through the clarity that only the worst nightmares could bring, he relived, time and time again, the moment that Snoke's new apprentice drove his lightsaber through his flesh. The pain and terror from him… Snoke's utter satisfaction and horrifying glee… the sadistic gleam in Ta'Veq's eye as he was barely held back by Snoke from finishing Kylo Ren then and there. All of this played in his mind as he was pulled into blissful darkness once more.
Finally, Kylo Ren opened his eyes and he knew he was awake. He could tell because the pain was too real to be a dream, and the crisp rush of conditioned air made his skin break out in gooseflesh. He shivered before he could stop himself, staring blankly at the concrete ceiling above him.
"So you're awake finally." A voice came from the side of the room that was past his feet where he lay on what felt like a cot. It was a voice that he'd never thought he'd hear again; a voice that horrified him. His eyes widened reflexively before he clenched them shut as tightly as he could, though the rest of his body stayed as still as he could make it.
He heard footsteps approach him, angling around to his left side. Even after all these years, there was no mistaking the rhythm of his mother's walk. "I know you're awake, Ben. Or… do you prefer Kylo Ren these days?"
He remained quiet and still, eyes now open and staring at the ceiling once more. He could just imagine Leia Organa's lips twisting in bitterness around the syllables of his name.
A thread of anger coiled deep in his gut at the thought of her distaste at his new name. She was part of what had made him the man he was today. How dare she treat –
His thoughts were cut off by her stern, yet sad voice. "I can feel you reaching for the Force through your anger… Kylo Ren. I would advise you against it." She'd settled into place near his head, though far enough away that he was only able to catch glimpses of her greying brown hair through his peripheral vision. He refused to turn and look at her. "You've been implanted with a medical chip that will immediately release a strong tranquilizer into your system if the order is given, or if you attempt to remove it. A failsafe, if you will. No one wants to kill you, but the doctors thought it would be prudent to maintain control over a… evil Force-user, I think was what they called you."
She was taunting him, he knew that. He hadn't seen his mother in nearly twenty years, yet he still knew that tone of voice. She'd used it on his father often enough during his childhood for it to become ingrained in his subconscious, even if this time she was being much more unforgiving with her taunts.
He heard her let out a long sigh. Her voice was weary when she finally spoke again. "Well, your wounds have been healed as best as the doctors could manage. It was touch-and-go for a while there, but you're on the up-and-up now. Five days in a coma will do that, I imagine. Rest for now, and when you wake tomorrow, we'll talk."
The sound of her footsteps moved slowly towards what he imagined was the cell door. Meanwhile, his mind was spinning as he was reminded of what had injured him in the first place. Being cast out of the First Order… losing his place among the Knights of Ren… everything he stood for, everything that he'd given up his life for, his identity, his hopes and dreams and aspirations… all gone. He was abandoned once more.
"Kill me," he rasped out, throat parched.
His mother's footsteps had paused, though he hadn't heard the door open yet. She was silent.
"Kill me now," anger swept into his voice, and he could feel the Force gathering around him.
"No." Leia's voice held the countless emotions of a woman who had lost the love of her life, and wanted the man responsible to suffer for it. She knew what he wanted, and yet denied him.
He could understand that.
His rage vanished as if it was winked out, and he was drawn into a medicated sleep almost instantaneously. He didn't even hear the door close.
Nor did he hear the sobs that wracked Leia's body as she collapsed on the other side of the door. She gave into the depths of her emotions, releasing all of her pent-up grief into the empty corridor. It only lasted a short minute before she had to wrap her grief deep inside of her again. She put on her cloak of command and grace, wiped the tears from her eyes, squared her shoulders, and strode back into the main hallways.
The next time he woke, he sensed her presence almost immediately. This time, he turned his head to look before he could stop himself. She was seated in a metal chair bolted to the concrete floor on the other side of the room. Her fingers were gripping the arm rails tightly, and her foot was tapping a nonsensical rhythm on the ground. He found his eyes being drawn up to her face, where her eyes bore into his own once their gazes connected. He couldn't look away, and the thought briefly crossed his mind that his mother had been practicing.
He stared at her until he noticed his breaths coming quicker, and he took a moment to try to slow them. She was affecting him too much. She was bringing back memories that he had only ever used to incite anger in his quest for power in the Force, and he realized that he couldn't use those emotions right now. If she wasn't going to kill him, or release him, then he'd have to bide his time to see what they – what she – wanted with him. It must make them giddy, having the First Knight of Ren under their power. 'Or who they assumed was still the First…' he thought bitterly to himself.
Finally, Leia blinked and Kylo was able to move his eyes away once again. He shut them tightly, trying to blink away the dryness that had settled in them. He still kept his head turned towards her, however, and was able to notice her glance at what was likely a security camera placed in the corner of the ceiling.
"Leave us," she ordered towards the camera.
"Are you sure, General?" A tinny voice was heard over the room's intercom.
"Yes," she stated decisively. "I can control him from here."
Kylo Ren raised his eyebrows in disbelief as he angled himself up on the cot. He was slightly out of breath from the cramping in his side, but he opened himself up to the pain of the healing wound and purposefully didn't adjust his position to make it hurt less.
"Don't even try it." Leia's voice was stern and unyielding. "I will not hesitate in knocking you out."
He raised his hands in a mock gesture of supplication, but his eyes were anything but mocking. He lowered them until he was looking at her from under a fringe of black hair, and hatred radiated from his expression. Leia didn't back down, though.
"You murdered your father." Ah, now he understood why she didn't want anyone to observe their conversation.
"Still ashamed to have anyone more than necessary realize the great and terrible Kylo Ren is your son?" he sneered at her.
"Don't change the subject!" she snapped, her eyes flashing with barely-concealed rage and desolation. "You. Killed. Your. Father."
He lifted his head to stare at her fully, his sneer still in place on his face. "I did," he replied simply and aloofly.
"Why?"
He was silent a moment before he responded. "I was ordered to do it, if the opportunity ever presented itself. Poor father; he made it too easy. Walked right up to me, heart on his sleeve, begging me to come home. Begging Ben to come home. He didn't realize his son no longer exists. I am Kylo Ren. And he was too stupid to realize how futile his plan was. Just another of his harebrained schemes. And this time he died. His luck ran out."
Leia's jaw clenched and her hands tightened into fists over the chair's arms. For a moment, he thought she would lash out at him. In fact, he wanted her to lash out. He wanted to feel her rage directed at him; feel the agony she was going through. It was what she deserved.
His smirk was wiped off of his face with her next words. He hadn't even seen the emotions drain out of her face until a look of curiosity settled over her features, and her hands loosened their grip. "That's not it… not entirely. It didn't work, did it?"
He remained silent, though he kept his face up and continued to stare at her. There was no expression on his face anymore.
"You tried to sever your ties to the Light by murdering your father," she stated simply, as if it were the clearest thing in the world to her. "But it failed. It didn't work. What you wanted so greatly, to accept and be accepted by the Dark side, by your Master, to prove your worth, to make it all worthwhile… you failed. You still feel the pull of the Light," she finished smugly, though still sadly.
Kylo Ren slowly got to his feet, drawing himself up to his full height and towering over the one who called herself his mother. It didn't matter that he was in a pair of loose grey pants and little else besides bandages: he exuded power. Leia's throat convulsed and the tiniest flash of fear crossed behind her eyes before she was able to hold herself stiffly, chin up to stare him straight in the eyes.
There was nothing that Kylo Ren hated worse than being confronted with his failures. Especially from this woman who claimed the title of mother. His voice shook with rage as he glared down at her and spoke. "Get out," he gritted out through his teeth.
"No," she hardened her jaw right back at him, trying to stare him down. "You feel it still, don't you? The pull of the Light. You're not completely lost to us, lost to me, are you?" She suddenly paused, a thoughtful expression appearing on her face. "That's why you ended up here, injured, isn't it? You didn't cut it anymore. You failed–"
He snarled, cutting her off from saying the rest of whatever ill-thought sentence had sprung to her mind. It was just a noise, but its intensity brought her up short.
"Unless you want me to test how killing you will aid in my acceptance to the Dark side, you will get out," he snapped. "I bet it would work mighty well. You were always the better parent, in the end. Too bad you weren't good enough, though."
Leia barely made it out of the cell at a brisk walk, locking the door behind her, before she heard the sounds of metal bolts being pulled out of the concrete floor. Her eyes widened and her breaths came in gasps as she heard the utter despair and rage being funneled through her son's screams. No… through Kylo Ren's screams.
She'd stopped first by the security room to let the two technicians know that they could resume their posts, though she gave them orders to let the patient throw his fit without being tranquilized. Unless he tried to escape, he was to be left alone, damage to his healing wound be damned for the moment. Her brother Luke and Rey had arrived at the base by the time Leia made her way out to the main entrance for some much-needed fresh air.
When Leia turned to greet Rey after flying into her brother's arms for the first time in years, she froze. There was a look of confusion and… anguish… overwhelming the young woman's features. She stood stock-still, facing the medical complex. Her hand had fallen to her lightsaber handle, where it was being gripped dangerously tight.
"Rey?" Luke ventured.
"What?" she snarled, twirling towards Luke and Leia, her lightsaber hilt now in her hand, though inactive.
Luke and Leia simply stared.
Finally, Rey blinked long and slow, and then realized that she was brandishing her lightsaber at the two older adults. Her expression cleared up of the rage, though the confusion still remained. She lowered her hand to her side and asked in a whisper: "What is this… anger I'm feeling, Master Luke?"
Luke cast out his senses with the Force, encountering a ball of fury and pain that could only be Ben Solo. He'd recognize that Force signature anywhere.
Luke refused to explain the connection to his pupil at that moment, if ever, preferring to leave her in the dark on this topic to reduce the allure and temptation of the connection. Better she never know.
"I believe that's why we're here, padawan," he replied calmly. He did not elaborate any further.
He chose to ignore the look of fascination that crossed her face as she obviously focused in on the feelings once more. Instead, he ushered Leia towards the base with a hand on her elbow, hoping that Rey would get the hint to follow.