Alter Ego

by sisiloveauslly

I am Ally Dawson, I am stuck with my life, with all the choices I make, and the pain that I suffer. And I am almost completely alone. I only have my mom, Austin, and myself. But because of everything that is going on I could lose all of them... And having a chance of losing the only people that keep you standing is so freaking scary. Believe me..

4. Chapter 4 Drama

So I got a really sweet message of a girl and I wanted to thank her :)

But here is chapter 4, at first I didn't want to count my poetry with it but I think if I do it will be more organized. So here is the next chapter and enjoy!

Chapter 4 Drama

So today I went to the cinemas., to be away for some time, away from home. No drama, just a movie about drama. That kind of movie where you think: "Thank god I am not that woman." It was kind of relaxing, not worrying about what others think ( Because I was all alone in the hall.) I cried while watching the movie. And I ate crisps. I loved it honestly. Just really no stress. And when the movie was over I took my bus home.

Unfortunately everyone was in one room. Making the place very crowded for me. Causing me to go to my room immediately . I opened my laptop and started writing my emotions in a story while listening music. Today wasn't the worse. But maybe I am so used to Henk and Stella that I am mistaking them for me. Well they are me… But I am so not that kind of person to say that kind of things so I can't call them me right .. Well I think that I mean that I get those thoughts often so I think I got used to it . So I try to enjoy the fun days that I'm fine cuz I know that there will come bad day soon. I know that this wasn't very positive to think. I didn't have a choice anymore.

And that was maybe the hardest part of it all. But I'm trying to smile because a smile can make a day better.

So now I was laying in my bed thinking about everything that I did wrong and the things that other people said to me.

Another day that I survived. Something to be proud of? Sometimes not.
I start to recognize that I wanted to be someone else. I started changing my twitter profile picture into a cute Tumblr girl. And making an Instagram account where I pretended to be that cute girl. It felt like that she would get more attention than me. That people would like her better. Later I deleted that Instagram account and I changed my picture on Twitter back to me. Chosing not to be that kind of person. Not wanting it to be like that.
But I hoped that I would get through the night this time. I really did. Goodnight. And may be until tomorrow...