Warnings: Spoilers for The Avengers and angst. Also, can I just say that I love Clint Barton? My poor baby. He deserved so much more that the approximate 13 minutes of screen time he was given.
Clint:
I can still feel him inside my head sometimes.
He's not really there and I know that, but there are moments when I feel like he's still around, whispering and ordering and urging me to kill. At the time he said that it would bring me peace. I can tell you, though, that this is not peace.
Actually I'm not even sure I know what peace feels like.
When 'Tasha brought me back I couldn't really remember, I didn't really want to know how many people I'd killed. She said it hadn't been my fault and as an assassin it shouldn't bother me anyway, right?
But it does. This does. And for some reason I can't seem to let it go.
The scary part is I remember all of it now. Everything I did while Loki was still inside my head. After we'd beaten him it didn't take long for the faces and names to start filtering in. Everyone tells me that it isn't my fault but I'm not so sure. I think part of me always knew what I was doing. Selvig did, at least a little, so why wouldn't I?
And that's the worst part of it. Because I know what I'm capable of. I know what I've done, how many people I've killed without batting an eye and I have to wonder...
How much of what I did was really because of Loki?
How much of it was actually just the darker side of me?