Hello lovelies! Thank you for all of the follows, favorites and reviews! The reviews really are wonderful!
So, this chapter features: tears, more scars, more cuddles, some actual plot! Even more cuddles! Okay, I'm sorry, there really is a lot of cuddling in this fic.
Also, there are more mentions of homophobia and general ignorance in this chapter, just so you know.
Kevin dreams about Edd again.
First it's the nightmares of the incident in the locker room. They're in that shower stall but Edd doesn't touch him, doesn't look angry, worse: tears build up in his eyes until their brilliant blue has morphed to a storm gray and water is just flowing from his eyes, not like tears but a steady trickle that grows and grows until Kevin feels the water creeping up to his ankles, his thighs, his chest and then he's drowning. Edd only watches, eyes like darkening clouds and face set as if it were stone. No matter how Kevin kicks and jerks and reaches he gets no closer to the other boy - just can't quite touch him, can't quite keep his mouth above the water, can't quite scream - and that cold expression never changes. His head begins to go under-
He wakes up twice from that same dream, at that same point, and finds his face shoved into his pillow or his sheets twisting around him so he feels like he's suffocating or being held down. It's very hard to sleep afterwards.
After a few more stressful dreams, they ease into something else entirely, something warm and hot and terrible that Kevin wishes he never, ever was able to think up. Fucking hell, it's worse than the nightmares and it makes him feel sicker, more twisted, more guilty.
His guilt just might eat him alive.
From a nightmare to wet dream, Kevin is convinced Edd is going to remain his personal demon for the rest of his days.
The most horrific part of it all? Kevin finds he's actually okay with that.
He's not okay with getting three hours of sleep, however. And even that sleep was restless.
How one deals with such stressful nightmares, Kevin doesn't know. It's blatantly obvious to him that it's from his guilt but even that seems too insurmountable a mountain to face on three hours of terror-filled sleep.
Edd told him it was okay. Edd forgave him. Edd went as far as to say they are even.
Yet Kevin still feels sick with it.
He had a dream of a little boy, all bird-bones and big, wondrous swimming pools for eyes, falling, falling, falling - glass tearing his skin, the sick sound of his skull hitting tile -
When he woke after that he was crying and mumbling apologies to the empty night. It returns to him now, crystal clear, so much so that he is almost convinced it was real in his sleep-deprived state.
Edd hadn't actually texted Kevin as soon as he got home so the delightful little surprise he left on the other boy's phone is waiting for him when he wakes. Edd has entered every single one of his numbers (cell phone, home phone, where to reach him when he's swimming, where to reach him if all else failed, where to reach Marie if all else failed and then some) all under the name "DD Requin" which makes the redhead feel all warm and squishy inside with affection for this beautiful, brilliant, and absolutely insane boy who he sort of wants to both punch and kiss and wipe the tears from his eyes.
For a brief, insanity-filled moment, Kevin's thumb hovers over the call button. His stomach is in fucking knots and he feels dizzy with his lack of sleep and he just wants to yell at Edd for looking at him the way he had in his dream, in a way that had torn a hole right through him and reminded Kevin of every single shitty thing he's ever done. He almost does it, too. Almost calls to tell Edd that he's not his toy - not now, not ever. Tells him that the charade is over. That Kevin can never fall for someone so fucking shitty.
But that last thought draws him back to reality and he curls up in bed with the phone before typing up a quick message: you're a little shit, Requin. Not talking to him immediately would be the smart thing to do but Kevin isn't feeling very smart today and he can't even find it in him to care because he spent all night thinking about Edd, dreaming of him crying and hurting, and he needs to be reassured that it really was just a dream.
All Double D responds with is a winky face and Kevin's chest swells with relief and anger and affection and frustration in a way that leaves him laughing and crying, curled in fetal position on his bed.
He's antsy all morning because now the bad thoughts are gone and all he can think about is Double D and how he's going to drive Kevin to school, how his kisses feel, how his abs are so perfect Kevin doesn't know what to do with himself. He's falling all over again and this time he's going down hard.
Kevin's mother is terribly amused by it, too, which is super embarrassing. It's like she knows exactly what's going on all of the time and Kevin just wants to be left alone for a while. This isn't easy for him and he sort of wants to stop thinking and worrying about what other people are thinking and go with it. Maybe he's a little biased but he thinks he deserves that much,. The chance to act like a real teenager for once in his miserable life, make out with a hot boy and do stupid shit, that sort of deal.
Not that he wants to make out with Edd.
Okay, he really wants to make out with Edd but he'd rather not think about that because that makes him think about his dream and his dream makes him think about how he saw Edd in the nude and let's stop right there.
By the time he's ready for school he feels like a hot mess, hair untamable from a night spent squirming and face marked with noticeable bags. He's spent the night scared out of his wits and, as screwed up as it is, turned on so he really just wants to crawl in a hole and die. His hands shake as he texts Edd, telling him he's ready for school whenever Edd is.
Edd just sends another winky face. Little shit
God, he even thinks 'little shit' in a fond way and there's something so sickeningly "teenager in love" about that, that he wants to slam his head into the wall.
Hesitantly, Kevin shoulders his bag and grabs his books before heading over to Edd's house. He pointedly ignores his mother's winks but it's not much use, she can't be stopped and she knows it.
Edd's house is definitely the newest and nicest in the neighborhood. Though not as big or grand as he's sure the Vincent's could afford, it's still unnerving to walk up to such a nice place.
Once again Kevin is left thinking about the terribly huge gap between him and Double D. Him, scrawny, freckled, and wretchedly pale. No money. Smart but not a genius. That's Kevin. Then there's rich, handsome, intelligent Double D.
He almost talks himself out of going up to Edd's house but he's already halfway across the lawn and before he can turn around Edd opens up the door and leans out with such a breathtaking grin on his face that makes Kevin's heart skip a beat.
All of the dark images still bouncing around at the back of his mind suddenly fade away and he's returned to reality once more.
"Bonjour, ma citrouille," he croons as Kevin reaches the door, opening his arms to the smaller boy. "Did you sleep well?"
Kevin snorts at the irony of the question but doesn't answer, instead shouldering past Edd, ignoring the offered hug, to get in the door. Nice doesn't begin to cover the perfection that is the Vincent's home. It is spotless. Everything exactly so as if Kevin has just walked into a home featured in a magazine. It doesn't even smell like a home, more like a doctor's office, and he suddenly feels very, very out of place.
When he looks back to the taller boy, Edd is watching him closely. Flushing, Kevin opens his mouth to say something but he has no clue what, especially with his mind moving so fast yet so slow. Edd blinks at him, eyes flitting to take in the bags under those green eyes and the way Kevin slightly slouches. The door closes with a whisper.
"Please remove your shoes," he says coolly and motions to the spot where his Vans rest next to his usual boots.
Kevin awkwardly shuffles back over to toe off his shoes but before he can Edd draws him as close as possible, arms locking around the smaller boy's shoulders and hauling him into the welcoming curve of his chest. Kevin glances back at the door feeling suddenly nervous, his stomach tight and fluttery (he totally doesn't think about Edd's genitals). He's tired, so tired he can feel it in his bones and he just wants to stop thinking and start acting so he hugs Edd and lets himself be hugged.
"I just want to keep you all to myself," Eddward hums and with the flick of his wrist Kevin's hat is on the floor and Edd has him pinned to the door, his bag falling from his shoulder to join it with a thunk. Laughing tightly, half afraid and half in pain from lack of sleep and the beginnings of a pounding headache, Kevin simply lets go of his books so they land on top of the pile. He lets out a shaky sigh, the tension finally leaving him upon seeing Edd grinning, his own arms winding around Edd's neck (still not thinking about Edd's junk).
"Tell me, how attached are you to that shirt, darling?" he murmurs and presses a gentle kiss to Kevin's pale cheek.
The boy is too dazed to process both his words and the actions so it takes him a minute but once he does, he rears back. "What?" he squeaks (not thinking about it, not thinking about it, not thinking about the way his lips curled in the dream, not thinking about how his fingers had moved in the dream, not thinking about that scar pointing straight to his-).
"Wear one of mine," Edd insists so seriously that Kevin could laugh.
Instead he scoffs, "What? Why? Isn't that a little much?"
Edd draws away to pout and Kevin can't help but laugh at the childish look. The taller boy sniffs haughtily, "The scent of your partner is a strong determinant of sexual compatibility."
Kevin nearly chokes on air and his face burns. For one blinding moment he's convinced that Edd must be able to read his mind but then he realizes how ridiculous that is and stops thinking about it (no he doesn't, Edd can probably smell it on him like the predator he is. Damn requin).
"What the fuck, Double D? What are you even talking about?" he demands, voice tight with his nerves; it's almost painful to his ears.
"The fact that you should enjoy wearing my clothing due to my scent."
"Holy shit, you are such a freak," Kevin cries shrilly, so high it is nearly a whine. "Cut the clinical bullshit, what do you mean?"
"I'm talking about the psychological and physiological benefits of a couple sharing clothing," he grunts but despite his severe tone his blush speaks to his embarrassment.
"You want to wear my shirt?"
"Your shirt won't fit me," he scoffs and rolls his eyes then pauses, staring at the floor. "But I would like to keep it."
Kevin releases a choked noise that he can't quite describe, mind immediately going to the gutter.
Edd gives him a bored look. "Not like that, you pervert. I'm trying to build our relationship."
"You are such a freak…" Kevin mutters but he finds himself laughing nervously. "Do you even have a shirt that would fit me?"
"Of course. I checked."
"Oh my god, how can you be so strange yet so fucking cute?" Kevin sighs, the words coming out before he can stop them. He blushes from his throat to the tips of his ears and quickly looks down and away.
Edd leans closer until their noses touch and his breath, cool and minty, is brushing against Kevin's lips with every slow exhale. "May I ask you something?"
Kevin gulps thickly and nods, still not brave enough to meet Edd's eyes though he can feel them on him.
"You have hinted at being physically attracted to me currently, not simply in the past. I just want to make sure that is the case."
This feels like some sort of trick. The other shoe is about to drop or something but Kevin's mind is moving like molasses and he's just fed up with his own fear.
"Yeah," Kevin says hoarsely, "I am."
Edd makes a low, pleased noise not unlike a purr. "Oh, mon coeur, I just want to keep you locked up in this house…" he breathes and presses closer until his leg is brushing Kevin's and his lips are teasing across his cheek.
"But… I still don't get it," the redhead croaks, "do you… um…"
"Hm?"
"Are you, like- you're attracted to… me?" Edd pulls away, face suddenly blank, and Kevin's heart sinks. "Shit," he mutters and looks away. "That was a stupid question, I'm s-"
"Stop, Kevin," he murmurs and the boy bites down on his lip brutally. "Mon amour, tu es beau," Edd insists softly. He cups Kevin's cheeks so gently that Kevin shivers. He eases his thumb across the small boy's mouth, carefully dragging it down so the boy releases his bottom lip from his teeth. "You are not," he pauses, blue eyes taking Kevin in tirelessly (attractive, cute, remotely handsome - Kevin finishes for him, his own head spiraling into darker and darker possibilities), "very sure of yourself, are you?"
"What?" he gulps.
"Last night, I suppose I realized but… Look at me," he orders but Kevin only tucks his head even further from his gaze. "No, look at me," Edd insists softer this time but tone still sure as he presses his cool fingertips to the heat of Kevin's cheeks. "Kevin, stop it. Look at me…"
He very slowly eases Kevin's face upwards so that their eyes can meet and he sighs, lips quirking softly. "How beautiful you are…" he croons and Kevin immediately tucks his chin down again and turns away.
"Don't make fun of me, okay? I know it was a stupid thing to ask so just… I get it," he tries to grit out but his voice is embarrassingly shaky.
"Pumpkin," Edd admonishes, "why would I pursue someone I don't find attractive?"
"I dunno," Kevin slurs. "To make fun of me or something."
Edd suddenly grabs the back of Kevin's neck roughly and forces him to look Edd dead in the eyes. The boy's breath stutters and his heart seems to slam against his ribcage. "I have quite the soft spot for you, Pumpkin, but don't insult me in my own home," he orders and the sudden firmness of his voice leaves Kevin reeling.
Even when he's being cuddly and romantic, Kevin can't let himself forget that Edd is called the Shark for a reason. It's a very good thing he didn't make that angry, nonsensical call this morning.
Pale hands shaking, Kevin nods jerkily. "Sorry. But shit, Double D, what do you expect me to think?"
Edd's face softens and his grip eases. His fingers stroke the nape of Kevin's neck gently. "What can I do to make you believe me?"
"'Believe you'?" he repeats, voice rough.
"When I say you're beautiful, ma citrouille."
Kevin squirms. "But I'm not."
"How can I prove that you are? I want you, I hold you, I kiss-" he pauses. Kevin gulps as Edd seems to appraise him. "May I kiss you properly, Kevin?"
Kevin's mouth is now terribly dry and he can hardly breath. He's shaking.
Edd suddenly steps back, hands leaving Kevin's skin as if it burns. His face is frozen in shock and Kevin is too exhausted to even question it. "Kevin…? I am so sorry," he says in a rush and carefully grasps Kevin's shoulders. Kevin distantly realizes he's crying. "I am so sorry," Edd insists, "I told you I would not pursue you and yet- and in my own home- you-you must think- oh god, Kevin-" he chokes and Kevin can't help but smile through his tears at how distraught he sounds about this, as fucked up as that is.
Double D is distraught over Kevin. He's worried that he's hurt his feelings, even, or something like that. Kevin isn't really following. He's tired and disoriented enough as it is.
"Double D, just shut up, okay?" Kevin whimpers, words catching on a lump in his throat that he didn't know was there and now he's full on sobbing. He's too tired to care, really, and it actually feels good to just let it out. He grabs at Edd's shirt and tugs him forward until they stumble together awkwardly. "I'm sorry," he chokes out between the wracking sobs and he's not sure if he's apologizing for the hat incident or for getting snot all over him, all he knows is that his guilt and the fatigue of going two days on little sleep is making him crazy and the mere thought of Edd perhaps doing all of this just to tease him - no, he can't even consider it right now, he's so lonely and in too deep already.
Edd holds him so tightly that Kevin can hardly breath but he feels so safe right then that he only cries harder. It's like Edd is holding him together and he needs that. He's needed that for a long time because he's been holding onto a thread.
Lonely. So lonely all of the time. Harassed, beaten, and bloodied and the worst part is how alone he is.
Not the broken skin or bones, not the physical ache of bruised ribs or even his pummeled pride, it's the loneliness that eats away at Kevin's heart.
As suddenly as this "relationship" has fallen together, Kevin has invested a part of himself in it and he cannot take it back.
"I came to love you more and more until I hated myself for how much of myself I gave you without even being with you," Edd had said yesterday and Kevin suddenly understands what he meant all too well.
"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Edd insists and he sounds so honestly beside himself with guilt that Kevin begins to laugh through his tears.
"I'm not crying because of you or something," Kevin sniffs, finally reigning in his tears. "I got, like, three hours of sleep last night. And not much more the night before. Nightmares."
Edd makes a distressed noise and begins to pull away which sends a shock of fear down the Kevin's spine, making him dig his fingers into the boy's hips; he grows rigid with surprise and Kevin's guilt grows. "Please don't- please just-"
"School doesn't start for another forty minutes and I promise you I can get you there in ten. Come to my bed or the couch and sleep a little longer," Edd murmurs and gently cards his hands through Kevin's hair. "I'll carry you, okay?" he insists and Kevin begins sniffing again.
"Thank you…"
"Don't thank me," he says somewhat harshly and carefully worms his fingers between Kevin's and his hips. "Is… would you feel more comfortable on the couch?"
"Do you not want me to mess up your bed?"
"What?" he asks in alarm. "Kevin-"
"I'm not trying to be a dick," he says quickly. "I know you have a thing about germs and messiness and, well…" Kevin motions awkwardly to his teary face, looking down at their feet.
Edd is quiet for a minute before his warm hands find Kevin's ribcage just like the night before. "Wrap your arms around my neck - come on, mon coeur."
Shivering at the feel of those elegant fingers sliding over his ribs and then his biceps, Kevin hesitantly allows his arms to be guided around Edd's neck. The taller boy shifts downwards and Kevin is too sleepy and distant to really understand what's going on until he's being scooped up and cradled to Edd's chest.
Edd makes this strange sighing noise and shifts Kevin in his grasp; he feels dizzy and presses his face into the boy's shoulder as he takes in painfully deep breaths. "You're much lighter than I ever imagined," he murmurs and Kevin whines softly, squeezing Edd's neck.
"Scrawny…" Kevin mutters.
"Small and precious," Edd corrects with a soft chuckle but his laughter suddenly dies. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For… saying that."
Kevin sighs and nuzzles into Edd's neck because fuck it. He's done. He's so done right now and so exhausted that he's not even going to freak out about this.
"I'm sorry for being a shit about it," Kevin replies, eyes suddenly closing on their own, "I just… It's not that I don't trust you or whatever, it's that I really don't get what you, you the school heartthrob, could possibly see in me…"
"Oh ma petite citrouille," he murmurs warmly and Kevin can't help but pull himself closer, the affection in Edd's voice making his chest tight. "You should hear how the girls on the swim team talk about you. They're always talking about you. They're smitten with you due to your religious attendance of the meets and how you still open doors for girls, all of that. And how you helped Mary Franklin with her AP Biology homework so often - lord, I thought I would never hear the end of it.
"Made my blood boil, how they would talk about your pretty green eyes and how your smile is so sweet and shy and all I could think was 'you haven't seen him at his best: you haven't seen his face hardened as he works, the look in his eyes when he succeeds, the way those eyes move when he's focused or how they cloud over when he's falling asleep'."
Kevin raises his head and meets Edd's eyes. The blue-eyed boy smiles gently and carefully attempts to draw Kevin's head back to his shoulder without dropping him as they go up the stairs. "Sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time."
"Edd?" he murmurs.
"Yes?"
"You can kiss me whenever you want," he says slowly, almost unsure if he's actually speaking. "Well, okay, at least when I'm awake."
Edd can't help but huff out a soft laugh. "Are you sure, mon amour?"
"I would like to kiss you…" he mumbles and hides his face in Edd's chest.
"Oh, how you tempt me…" he says, half joking but also undeniably giddy.
Kevin has only been in Edd's room once or twice so it's still a bit of a shock to see all of the labels on everything. It's so clean it doesn't feel lived in. Not a single thing is out of place: the desk is spotless, the books in their case arranged perfectly, and not a single thing dusty or dirty. Even the plants in the windowsill somehow feel sterile and unreal.
The bed is cold when Edd lays him down, careful to keep his feet off of the bed. Their eyes meet for an awkward moment and Kevin blushes, trying to casually look away. Edd's arm slides down his legs and the redhead jolts slightly, watching as Edd raises his feet.
Kevin can't help but laugh when he realizes what Edd is doing, struggling to keep Kevin's feet in the cradle of his arm as he removes the boy's shoes.
"God, you're a mess," Kevin says (fondly).
With one shoe off and unceremoniously tossed back out Edd's bedroom door, Kevin wriggles his toes in Edd's face and tries to poke the boy's nose with his big toe only to have the boy rear back, face twisted in disgust.
"Kevin!" he admonishes. "Don't be so revolting!"
Kevin only giggles but stops quickly when he feels Edd's eyes on him. Mouth dry, Kevin glances down at his feet then back to Edd's face. "What's wrong?"
"It's a little surreal to have you here. I almost thought I'd wake up this morning to find yesterday never happened but then I got that text from you," he chuckles and his smile is breathtaking. "Thank you for that, by the way."
Kevin can only nod shakily.
As Edd sets to work on the other shoe, Kevin peers around the room curiously, eyes landing on the plants. At first he thinks the labels might be the genus of the plants but then he reads "Jim" on one of them and snorts.
"You name your plants?"
"Yes, of course. Speaking to plants has been shown to increase their health and growth as they respond positively to vibrations. I need something to call them."
Kevin tries not to laugh, he really does, but there's something so sincere and precious about the way Double D says it and the mere thought of Eddward Vincent talking to a little cactus is so overwhelming that Kevin can't help but giggle. Edd swats at his knee and drops his legs onto the bed before tossing away his other shoe.
"You asked…" he grumbles and turns to leave but Kevin shoots up to grab his hand.
"I just thought it was sweet was all," he insists closing his eyes because of the sudden wave of dizziness that washes over him. He nearly has to throw his body back, putting all of his weight into it, to pull Edd on the bed too. Those blue eyes stare at him in shock and confusion and Kevin blushes, quickly looking away. "Don't leave, okay? I mean - do you still need to get ready?"
Edd studies him for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm ready."
"Will-" Kevin gulps, "would you stay with me then? If that's okay?"
Edd's face softens, eyes warm. "Of course…"
Kevin awkwardly shifts to the side and Edd toes off his socks (the freak) before lying by the redhead's side. They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment before Edd smiles gently and shifts closer. Kevin's heart feels like it's about to burst.
Edd carefully worms his arm through the opening created by Kevin's neck and shoulder, gently drawing the other boy to his chest. Kevin feels lightheaded but goes more than willingly, one arm curling between his torso and Edd's and the other resting atop the athlete's hard abdomen.
Christ this boy is built. Kevin just stares at his hand resting on the small curve of Edd's muscles for a moment before Edd's arms close around him and carefully draw him closer.
Edd's hands, large and warm, move Kevin with such care that it makes the redhead shiver.
"Here," Edd rumbles and Kevin looks up at him nervously. His soft hand lightly curls around Kevin's wrist and draws his arm upwards, slowly moving Kevin so he is resting more fully on Edd's broad chest. "Is this okay?" he murmurs, warm breath stirring Kevin's bangs, and the boy nods quickly, unable to trust his voice.
Edd is so, so warm and his arms wrap around Kevin's shoulders and waist in a way that makes him feel grounded and safe. Everything smells like Edd, not just the baby shampoo and chlorine but that distinctly masculine scent that lies beneath. It makes Kevin's head foggy and his chest tight.
The exhausted boy releases a wet, shaking sigh that's too close to a sob for Edd to ignore, and is promptly drawn even closer so his body presses to Edd's pleasantly and his head is cradled by the taller boy's shoulder and arm.
Kevin is out like a light.
Kevin wakes up slowly due to a ray of light falling in his eyes. He stirs sluggishly to find Edd's arms still around him though he's now laying with his back to the other boy. Everything is quiet except for Edd's soft breaths and the hum of his laptop sitting on the other side of the room. For a moment, Kevin begins to drift again, eyes sliding over the plants and down to study Edd's hand resting on his stomach, thumb rubbing circles against the edge of his ribs.
Remembering they need to go to school, he sucks in a sharp breath and shoots up to look around, feeling confused and panicky.
"Woah! Pumpkin, what's wrong? Another nightmare?" Edd asks and Kevin looks down to find the other boy is wide awake. The worry in those blue eyes sends a spike of pleasure and embarrassment to his stomach.
"School," he croaks.
The boy smiles gently. "We still have ten minutes before we need to go."
Kevin frowns. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Barely thirty minutes, it's okay," he assures and tugs on Kevin's sleeve to draw him back down.
Kevin heaves a sigh of relief and slowly collapses back on the bed. "Shiiit… I feel like I slept for hours."
"You were sleeping hard," Edd explains, carefully tucking Kevin's bangs behind his ear. Kevin's eyes flit to him, the action making him freeze. "I was honestly a little shocked how fast you fell asleep."
"I didn't sleep well last night or the night before," Kevin sighs and rubs at his tired eyes. "Sorry, I know this whole thing with me sobbing then sleeping on you must be really fucking awkward."
"No," Edd murmurs. His fingers continue to card through Kevin's hair soothingly, easing the tangled spots apart and smoothing unruly spots. "You have nothing to apologize for, ma citrouille. Believe it or not, I enjoy having you in my bed."
Kevin snorts, his smile wide and lopsided. "Very smooth."
Edd smiles at him in turn, all dazzling blue eyes and (perfect) gap. "I try."
Licking his lips, Kevin rolls onto his side so he's pressed even closer to the other boy and tilts his head back slightly, wondering if he could kiss him at this angle or-
"May I ask what gives you nightmares?" His fingers trail down Kevin's cheek and his eyes follow.
"Ah…" Kevin bites his lip and considers it. "Hear me out before you get upset."
Edd's face falls immediately.
"You're already upset. How am I supposed to tell you when you're already upset?" Kevin mumbles, half teasing in hopes of lightening the suddenly heavy mood. He focuses on tracing Edd's ribs on the side closest to him.
The action seems to sooth him. "I'm sorry. I'll listen."
"Okay… so… I feel really guilty about what I did. In the locker room."
"I told you I forgive you-"
"I know, I know you did. But apparently that's not enough for my psyche or whatever…"
The noise that Edd makes is so small and distressed that Kevin jerks his head up to meet his eyes, stomach clenching with (surprise, surprise) more guilt. Edd's eyes are so, so wide with horror that Kevin can clearly picture the water spilling from them the same way they do in his dreams. He feels sick.
"Mon coeur… you're having nightmares about that? I'm not going to hurt you, I swear I will never lay a hand on you again-"
"Oh! No! Oh, Edd, no. Not like that," Kevin insists urgently. "God, no, nothing like that. It's not- it's not like I'm having nightmares about you. I'm having nightmares about-" he sighs in frustration. "It's me hurting you."
"What…?"
"I-I- fuck, I don't know how to explain it," Kevin nearly cries and tries to roll away or at least turn his back to the other boy but Edd cradles him close. "I'm just so- I feel so guilty," he chokes out in such a rough voice that it makes Edd's throat ache in sympathy. "I'm so guilty. I feel terrible for doing that to you. I can't imagine how-how bad you must have felt and- shit, especially now that I understand just how bad your- how- what happened to you."
Edd only hums gently and presses his face into Kevin's hair. His lithe fingers trace the boy's spine. Kevin grows quiet. He's not sure when but he started shaking at some point. The touch eases his tension and makes him calm. Edd's beautiful hands ease the tension from his back, then his shoulders, and finally Double D draws away to run his fingers across Kevin's brow as if he's wiping away the tense lines that have gathered there.
"What happens in your dreams?" he asks finally.
Kevin tells him everything in one big rush. He tells Edd about the tears first and about the drowning and about the guilt. He tells Edd about how his face is cold and his eyes aren't his and it makes Kevin so sick. Then about the little boy with the bird-bones and doll eyes. He tells him about the nightmares from the night before last: how Edd would just stand before him, fury and pain mingling, his scars on display, and it was all Kevin's fault.
Edd lets him speak, all the while petting Kevin's hair or rubbing his warm hands across the tight spots in the small boy's back. Kevin wants to just press himself into Edd's chest and kiss him and all sorts of stupid, lovey dovey shit but at the same time he's scared to initiate and Edd seems only interested in this and no more so he doesn't.
"The water is merely a manifestation of your guilt," Edd says finally, voice hushed and gentle. It makes sense as the water is eating at him, suffocating him, just as the emotion does. "A symbol of it."
"Are you psychoanalyzing me?" Kevin deadpans.
"Yes, it seems like the best course of action."
"What?" he scoffs.
"Well, you have already apologized and I have forgiven you yet the guilt still remains. So… why not try a scientific approach if the emotional one is not working?"
"Oh…"
"I'm not much of a psychologist, however. Not really my forte."
Kevin can't help but laugh at that. "Never thought Eddward Vincent would actually have a weak point."
Edd rolls his eyes but he's smiling. "You're too precious, I can't even feel annoyed at you."
Kevin titters and noses closer, sighing when a hand is run through his hair. "We should get up."
"Yeah… but you're so warm…" he breathes. Kevin blushes at the emotion and softness of his voice.
"You are too…" he whispers despite his better judgement and Edd gives him a little squeeze, humming in approval. It makes Kevin's stomach flip.
"Can I spend the night at your house?" Edd asks suddenly and it takes Kevin a moment to consider it.
"Why my house? Your place is nicer," he mumbles.
Edd is silent for a minute. "I hate the quiet."
"Oh… oh."
Kevin suddenly feels like a major prick for thinking Edd wanted to get in his pants or something equally ridiculous. He just wants to get out of this fucking house and be around people who actually care about him and will take care of him for a while. It's probably more that Edd wants to be with Kevin's parents than Edd wanting to be with Kevin even if he is attracted to him.
Kevin freezes. That may be the main source of this whole thing to begin with, now that he thinks about it. Edd wants (no, needs) parents and who better than the two right across the street?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked something so forward-"
"No," Kevin says quickly and sits up so he can meet Edd's eyes. "It's fine. You are welcome to."
Edd's face softens. "Thank you. It means a lot, Pumpkin."
Kevin studies him for a minute and Edd studies him right back. "Can I ask you something?"
"Can you?" Edd counters with a smirk.
He rolls his eyes. "May I?"
Giggling like a kid, Edd nods.
"Do you… mainly just want to hang out at my house? Wait, let me rephrase that: is part of the reason you want to date me to be able to hang out at my house?"
Edd's brow furrows in confusion (it's totally not cute). "I'm honestly not sure what you mean by that. I want to date you because I find you attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. Your house has nothing to do with that."
"I-" Kevin blushes thickly and Edd smirks and reaches up to brush a thumb across his cheek. "I mean… I'm really lonely," he says quickly and he blames his slow-moving mind for it. The quirk to Edd's lips disappears and he slowly sits up so he's face to face with Kevin. Looking down, he continues, "I sort of… feel more okay with this than I should, honestly, because I'm so lonely. Like, really lonely. And I was just wondering if maybe this was less about you liking me and more about you liking me - I mean platonically, I guess - or maybe just my parents or something…" he trails off lamely and keeps his eyes downcast.
Edd shifts slightly and takes a deep breath before letting it rush out. "At first, I really thought it was. That's why I insisted on teaming up for the science fair. I told you I felt like I must be romanticizing you, remember? Well, I thought that might be a part of it - the-the loneliness, I mean. I am… very lonely, as you can see," he mutters and motions to Jim and the other plants. Kevin's heart hurts. "It does make me romanticize other people in a way… Makes me see only the good and other dangerous things.
"I-I used to be really desperate for attention - still am in ways - but after a point I realized attention is not… it doesn't fill the hole. So, then, I wanted a partner… I thought this was that phase again."
Kevin meets his eyes to find them downcast and wet with tears. He jolts, suddenly remembering his nightmare, and Edd looks at him with alarm. "Pumpkin?"
"Sorry," he sighs, "just remembered my dream…"
"Oh…"
"So, this wasn't the first time you, uh, fell for someone like this?"
Edd hums. "First boyfriend…" he mutters and taps his hip.
It takes Kevin a minute but the scar, the terrible one that stretches from hipbone almost to his genitals, is seared into Kevin's memory so it's not like the pieces aren't going to connect.
"No-" he gasps and actually slides back off the bed, nearly falling on his ass, shaking and panicking. "No, they-they did that to you?"
Edd's silence speaks volumes, his sad eyes meeting Kevin's hesitantly. It's like a punch to the gut.
"Edd… Christ, I'm- I know it doesn't mean anything but I am so sorry," Kevin murmurs, voice shaking with his sadness and shock. The words are just spilling from his lips, honestly; his mind still hasn't wrapped around this new revelation. "I am so, so sorry."
Eddward Vincent, the Shark of Peach Creek, hunches over slightly and sniffs, wiping at his eyes. Kevin feels like disappearing. It feels so wrong to be here, watching this.
"You have no reason to apologize," Edd says hoarsely and drags his arm over his eyes roughly. "Sh-shit… sorry, I didn't expect to just breakdown."
Kevin's chest feels like it's about to blow, the pressure and heat within it is so strong. He carefully climbs back onto the bed on his knees and, like last night, tips forward into Edd's chest.
"I just started randomly sobbing," Kevin murmurs. "You don't need to be sorry."
Edd is crying now, hard and stiff as he's trying desperately to suppress each sob. Kevin clutches at his back and holds him to his chest there, slipping his hand under Double D's hat to pet at his hair while rubbing circles against his tight shoulders. The tense, full-body jerks turns into quiet hiccups and then shaky, wet breaths against the soft pale skin of Kevin's throat, each one searing. Piano fingers slide into the hair at the base of Kevin's skull and hold on tightly.
Kevin feels like he's moving through water. This whole situation is so surreal he's not sure how to process it. The pain he feels for this boy is almost unbearable.
"Neither of us have to be lonely anymore," Kevin says lowly and Edd chokes out a sob. "But we do still have to go to school…"
Edd begins laughing somewhat hysterically. The noise is wet and dark but still warm. Kevin holds him tighter and laughs along with him.
"Why don't you have labels in your car?" Kevin asks curiously.
Edd seems a little shocked by the question, lips twisting, and Kevin immediately feels terribly embarrassed. He's letting all of his walls come down and just asking stupid shit now ("What's your favorite food?" he had asked as they were leaving and earned a snort. "I really like salmon," Edd replied. "Any kind of seafood, really. Shrimp, oysters, mussels - but I hate them fried. Fried food is disgusting." All Kevin could think was of fucking course the Shark likes fish.)
He's drawn back to reality by Edd's heavy sigh. "I… used to. I want to. My dad sort of gets fed up with it. He thinks I need to grow up and get over it so this is off limits."
Kevin scoffs. "Your dad can kiss my ass."
Edd chokes and coughs, nearly swerving off the road. "Kevin!" he cries, face a brilliant red. "He's still my father!"
"Yeah but… he needs to take care of you, not be a dick."
Edd blinks quickly but stares straight ahead at the road. For a tense moment Kevin is convinced he has crossed the line. Finally, that lithe hand slides across the console just as it had yesterday. Kevin doesn't hesitate to take it and even goes as far as to link their fingers. Edd smiles brilliantly.
"Kevin?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you stole my hat."
Kevin can't stop grinning.
The school seems to be even more excited today. Edd claims that the gossip about their relationship will probably reach its peak now and slowly die down over the next few days, especially with the weekend coming. Kevin isn't so sure.
Edd is like the king of the school in every way possible, surely it's not going to be that easy.
Not to mention once their interest wanes it's probably going to be just another reason to harass Kevin. Sure, they won't do anything outright to piss off Edd but it's not like Kevin can be protected every second of the day.
Edd follows him to his locker, chattering animatedly about his plans for their science fair project and how they should get started on it tonight, go out to that old junkyard over the weekend and get some parts, figure out when Kevin's dad will have the time to help them out or bring them down to the car shop. The first time they teamed up, Double D was definitely excited about it but not quite like this. Kevin is determined not to let it make him feel all warm and giddy but (shit) it does.
Just as he's closing his locker he catches sight of Johnny approaching and nearly drops his books. He looks pissed.
"Edd," Kevin chokes and the boy finally stops talking long enough to take in Kevin's horror before slowly turning his gaze on Johnny.
"Hey, Johnny," he grins all confidence and unspoken threats as he easily slides an arm around Kevin's waist to draw the boy to his hip. "What's up?"
Johnny's adam's apple bobs and the muscles in his jaw strain. "Sarah is very upset with you, Double D."
Kevin frowns. Sarah doesn't even go to their school yet it's like she has her hands in everyone's business at Peach Creek. Her and Johnny are apparently best friends and Double D seems to be on good terms with her, at least that's how it looked to Kevin and Nazz, Nazz in particular as she was the frequent subject of the other girl's bullying and had to pay closer attention as such.
Edd's insincere smile falters and he looks honestly puzzled by the statement. "Why, whatever for?"
The pale boy's face flushes ever so slightly and his fists clench and unclench by his sides. "Could we talk alone?" he asks and actually sounds really torn up.
"Johnny, we're dating, whatever it is he'll hear about it eventually."
Johnny's blue eyes harden. "This is serious. A private matter."
Edd's shock is plain on his face. He turns to Kevin slowly. "Well, I'm sorry Kevin but I won't be able to walk you to class, it seems. I'll see you there, though, alright?"
"Uh, yeah," he says quickly, eyes flickering to meet Johnny's piercing ones. He can't help but flinch slightly. "I'll see you then-"
"Wait," Johnny snaps and it's like Kevin's feet have become concrete. "Kevin," he says awkwardly and glances back at Edd who is looking on with interest before turning back to the redhead. "I'm sorry for being a dick. Uh… but, this is really serious and I need to talk to Edd. Sorry," he adds again and rubs at the back of his neck roughly.
Kevin blinks in surprise. "It-it's no problem. Um… thanks. Don't worry about it. I'll- well, I'll see you guys later," he mumbles and blushes slightly at the pleased smirk on Edd's face.
He suddenly can't leave fast enough.
When his math class comes into view, he picks up the pace. This might be his only chance to be alone today and he really needs to talk to Nazz. He can't even begin to keep track of everything that has happened and it's messing with his head so much that sharing with another person has never sounded better not to mention Nazz and Marie are going to the dance together (wow, he needs to congratulate her properly and ask all about it because wow).
When he enters the class he sighs in relief. There is Nazz, beautiful, sweet Nazz who is the best listener ever. Upon spotting him her eyes grow wide and she motions to the seat next to her viciously; when he doesn't move fast enough she goes ahead and drags it closer to her.
"Dude, tell me what's up? Is he still being good to you? Marie and I will legit murder him if he's not, so don't worry. We actually discussed this."
Kevin huffs and rolls his eyes before collapsing in the seat next to her. "Holy shit, you don't even know- shit! I don't even know! You and Marie! It's a thing!"
"It's a thing!" she says excitedly just for her joy to disappear. "But… your thing is more important."
"What? No-"
"Kevin," she says in warning and her voice drops lower, "you are pretend-dating Peach Creek's resident sociopath. Your thing is more important."
Kevin gulps, face hot. "It… might not be pretend-dating."
Nazz just stares at him a minute, letting Kevin squirm. "What do you mean it 'might not be pretend-dating'?" she demands, chillingly calm.
"Uh… he confessed that he actually has a crush on me- uh, actually, he said he loves me," Kevin explains nervously, voice growing higher and tighter as he continues. "He-he said he has- he has it bad."
Nazz is just staring at him which is really unnerving so he decides to hurry it along.
"So, he told me that he has a crush on me when we first made the deal and I was like 'oh' but it didn't sink in until later and by then he was saying that he was going to, like, 'romance' me," he hisses. "And I was just too okay with it to say no, I guess? Like, yes, it's really fucked up, but the way everyone is treating me and how Edd is treating me-"
"Kevin."
He gulps. "Nazz…"
"What the fuck do you mean 'he said he loves you'? Double D said he loves you? The asshole who gropes you and calls you names?" she growls and Kevin hurriedly covers her mouth as her voice gets louder.
"This has to stay between us!" he hisses and she shakes with her anger under his hands. "I know, I know it sounds really screwed up but he's-he… You don't know everything."
She smacks his hands off her mouth and he yelps, drawing back. "Kevin," she snaps, "do you know what stockholm syndrome is?"
Kevin scoffs. "Uh, sort of but-"
"It's when a victim identifies with their abuser or what the fuck ever because they think a lack of abuse from them is kindness."
Kevin pauses for a moment and lets his brain take that in. "I… see… okay. I understand why you see that and… yeah, maybe it is a little bit of that but also no, no way. It's not like I'm that messed up in the head, jeez… I mean yes, maybe I'm not looking at this in a healthy way, maybe I'm letting him off way too easy, but at the same time… I don't know," he mumbles and presses his face into his hands. "Can you please trust me? I know this is screwed up - I know we're both really fucking screwed up - but I have a good feeling about this. It's like… it's like everything's falling into place."
"Kevin…"
"Nazz," he says firmly and meets her eyes. "He held me this morning."
Her face twists in confusion. "What?"
"Okay, let's take a step back," Kevin mumbles and brushes his hands under his hat to tug his hair. "Uh… You can't tell anyone."
"Cross my heart."
"I can't even tell you what he's hiding but I'll tell you it's really fucking bad. Really fucking bad. Makes me sick to my stomach bad."
"Sympathize with how he acts bad…?" she murmurs reluctantly, practically wincing even as she says it.
"Yeah," he croaks and thinks back to the scars, to what Edd said about his father, "yeah, it does that too."
"Shit."
"Yeah, exactly. But that's not even the point, the point is he-he shared it with me. And he was like… I don't know how to explain it. He's just really… not an ass when we're alone. He calls me darling and cute French things and shit. He seemed…" Kevin blushes and hides his face in his hands. "I used to have a thing for him."
"Yeah, I remember."
"It's easy for me to feel physically attracted to him and sorry for him and shit… he's actually really nice to talk to. I thought maybe it would just be physical and then he'd get bored or I'd get over it but I don't think that's going to happen, I really don't. It's not just nice talking about tech stuff, either. He's genuinely funny and witty and fuck, he's cute. Nazz, he's cute. He's fucking adorable and weird and quirky and I feel like a typical teenager in love."
"Shit."
"Exactly," he groans. "He- I told him while he was driving us home that I was, like, falling for him a little and he pulled over and fucking climbed into my lap and hugged me, Nazz. Like, I know that sounds ridiculous but it was so fucking sincere and- I don't even know how to explain it. He's just fucking weird and I shouldn't like it but I do - I really fucking do."
"Damn, honey…"
"Yeah…"
"It's-" she sighs. "It's been like… a fucking day, though."
"I know," he groans. "I know and that only adds to my confusion because holy shit this shouldn't happen this fast - this shouldn't be able to happen this fast! It's not like I'm in love with him or something but fuck, I can feel how easy it would be to fall for him. I'm already falling for him.
"I slept like shit last night so when I went over to his house I had- christ, this is so embarrassing but I had a breakdown."
Nazz croons and rests her hand on his shoulder. "Aw, honey… what happened?"
Kevin tells her everything but is careful to leave out the parts about Edd's scars. She looks torn between shock and confusion, occasionally cutting him off with a "Eddward Vincent did what now?" or "You cannot seriously be telling me that Double D said that to you…" By the time he's finished the bell is ringing and Marie is slipping into class with Edd in tow.
Nazz just stares at Kevin shaking her head. She still hasn't responded and shows no signs of doing so anytime soon. He doesn't blame her.
Marie pats Kevin's head as she passes then collapses into the seat behind Nazz. "Wish you'd let me sit that close," she teases, referring to Kevin's spot next to Nazz. The blonde blushes and Kevin chuckles.
Edd snorts and instead of patting Kevin's head he actually ducks down and presses a kiss there which makes some nearby students coo and Kevin flush.
"You can have this seat," he says and gets up.
"Wha- Kevin, it's okay!" Nazz insists and the desperation in her eyes tells him their conversation is anything but over.
"No it's not," Edd interjects and flashes Kevin a blinding smile. "Ma citrouille should be sitting with me."
"Insatiable," Kevin sighs but he's smiling.
Marie and Kevin somewhat awkwardly trade spots. As soon as he's sitting, Edd grabs the edge of Kevin's desk and drags him closer until they are practically touching. Kevin yelps as the seat jerks but finds himself laughing softly, just letting it happen.
Their teacher, Ms. Harris comes in and pauses for a moment to take in the four desks now clumped together, eyes pausing on the mortification on Kevin's face before moving on.
"Well, class…"
Kevin knows something's up when he's asked to go to the math pod in his next class. His teacher is giving him a weird look and Kevin is typically left alone by all of his teachers. He's a good student and quiet not to mention he never back-talks or spends class on his phone. He's never pulled out of class for any reason; the other students even giggle about it.
He moves to take the hall pass from his teacher but pauses. Mr. J, his statistics teacher and the school tennis coach, is looking at him like he does when he finds a problem he considers particularly challenging and it's the most unnerving thing in the world.
"Um… Mr. Jackson?"
"Yes?"
"Is something wrong?"
"Ah, no. Nothing wrong. Just go work area in the math pod," he tells him, referring to the small room in each pod where teachers can gather to discuss their class plans and eat lunch. "And for Christ's sake, kid, call me Mr. J."
Kevin blushes and hurries along.
In the math workroom is Ms. Harris and Ms. James as well as, oddly enough, Mr. Madison, coach of the swim team, and the wacky old Latin teacher who Kevin only knows as Magister, the Latin word for (you guessed it) teacher. They're all standing around the table at the center of the room except for Ms. Harris who is sitting with a soggy bowl of cereal in front of her. It seems they're having a heated discussion, voices low so Kevin only catches little snatches of what they're saying like "Don't you dare, Alex!" or "But Susan!".
He clears his throat awkwardly and they all turn to look at him with wide eyes.
"Kevin!" Magister cries cheerfully and beckons him in.
"Hey there, stomach better?" Coach Madison asks.
Kevin blinks at him a moment before blushing thickly. He's referring to what Edd told him about Kevin feeling sick that day he puked in the locker room (and, you know, stole Edd's hat). "Ye-yeah, all better. Sorry, took me a minute…"
Madison smiles good naturedly and pats him on the shoulder.
Ms. Harris takes his hall pass from him gently in order to sign it and smiles. Something is up.
"So…" Ms. James begins carefully.
"We hear you and Edd are dating!" Magister says brightly.
Kevin chokes on air and begins hacking violently into his arm making Coach Madison pat him on the back awkwardly as Ms. Harris begins spewing apologies about how it was inappropriate of them to ask and so on.
"Oh my god!" Kevin wheezes. "Is that why I'm here?"
The nervous stares he gets in return tell him that yes, yes that is exactly why he's here.
"We're just curious…" Madison says slowly. "I mean, I do spend a lot of time with Edd and I never get to hear much about his personal life…"
"He's secretive," Magister adds with a firm nod of his head. "Don't know why. Is it because he's gay?" he hums thoughtfully.
"That's insensitive," Ms. Harris hisses angrily.
"Aw, come on," he sighs.
"Never thought he was gay…" Madison says thoughtfully. "I mean, I can see it now, but I just didn't think-"
"Jerry," Ms. Harris sighs before looking to Kevin. "I'm sorry Kevin, we-" she shrugs, smile more of a wince than anything.
"Um…" Kevin snorts then begins laughing nervously. "Do you guys… like… gossip about this sort of thing?"
"Well, our two favorite and best students just came out and are now dating," Magister titters, "we'll say it's those special circumstances that led to us gossipping like old biddies."
Kevin is shocked into another tense laugh. "Oh jeez…"
"The most important thing," Ms. James says finally, "is that you and Eddward are okay. We really just wanted to check on you two. It was really very brave of you two to come out," she adds with a gentle smile.
Kevin gulps and nods quickly. "Thanks but it wasn't really a big deal."
"But it was," Madison insists. "Took more guts than I'd ever have. We know kids can be cruel. No one is bothering you two are they?"
Kevin shakes his head quickly. "No one will bother Edd. It's nothing to worry about."
"Kevin…" Ms. James insists. "The nurse told us-"
"It's fine!" he cries a little too loudly and holds his hands up. There's a sudden rush of anxiety and panic which seizes his heart. "Please! It's fine! Edd protects me. Just- just please don't tell my parents. They would totally freak out."
"Oh…" Ms. Harris murmurs. "Do they not know…?"
Kevin flushes. "The-they know. That I'm bi, I mean."
"Bi?" Madison mutters and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.
"He's bisexual, Jerry," Ms. James explains with a long suffering sigh.
"Jesus Christ, how many sexualities are there?"
Both women sigh heavily and look at Kevin apologetically.
"Anyway, Kevin, is there a reason you don't want us to talk to your parents?" Ms. James asks carefully.
"They don't know that people bother me, is all," he shrugs. "And they would overreact…"
"Kevin," Ms. Harris interjects suddenly and shifts anxiously, "why haven't you come to one of us?"
He shrugs helplessly. "It's… it's sort of pointless…"
Ms. Harris frowns and looks to the others for help but they're all quiet. Finally she sighs and looks to Kevin once more. "It is illegal for anyone to lay a hand on you, Kevin."
"I know…" he murmurs and looks at his feet.
"We can make it stop."
Kevin has to suppress a wry laugh. The entire football team harrasses him, it's not like anyone would believe him or even care if he told them. There's a reason the football team, and really all of the athletes, can do whatever they want: they make the school money through tickets and the like. Once there were a couple of football players accused of sexual harassment and even then nothing happened.
His teachers can say this all they want but it's just not true.
"If it ever gets out of hand, I will tell you. I promise," Kevin says firmly.
Ms. Harris nods gently but her frown remains. "And Edd? You say he takes care of you?"
Kevin blushes thickly and squirms under their gazes. He cannot believe they're having this conversation right now. He just wants to hide in a hole or disappear into the floor.
Magister laughs, "I think that's a yes!"
Ms. Harris finally smiles. "He's a good kid. I'm glad you two have each other."
Kevin's face is so hot it hurts. This cannot be happening.
"So… one more awkward question," Madison mumbles.
"No!" Ms. James snaps and looks about ready to strangle him. It's obvious they've talked about whatever this is before.
Madison ignores her and plows on. "You and Edd - when you were in the locker room…"
"Oh my god! No, no, no!" Kevin cries and begins waving his hands violently. "No!"
"Jerry!" Ms. Harris gasps. "What are you even saying?"
"They were all alone in the locker room! I don't know!"
"No!" Kevin squeaks. "Oh my god, no! I had to get something from Edd and Nazz was going to take pictures for the school paper of him swimming and then I got sick and just no!"
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry for asking! I mean, two teenage boys alone in a locker room- Oh, Edd had showered too…" he adds and purses his lips thoughtfully.
"Because he was swimming!" Kevin cries shrilly. "We only started dating yesterday! We- just, no!"
"Stop harassing him!" Ms. James hisses and actually smacks Madison's arm.
"Wait, you only started dating yesterday?" Ms. Harris asks in puzzlement but her question goes unanswered.
"What? I need to know what's going on with my kids!"
"Kevin and Eddward are both responsible young men, you know they wouldn't do anything inappropriate. They are the most respectful and well behaved students here."
"You'd be surprised," a voice calls from behind him and Kevin nearly jumps out of his skin, turning to find Eddward walking through the doorway with another hall pass in hand. He winks, "Hey Pumpkin."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he cries shrilly. "I was puking in the locker room! You were swimming! Nothing happened!"
"Jeez, relax. I'm just referring to how you curse like a sailor."
Kevin can't help but scoff. "You aren't really one to judge."
Edd looks legitimately insulted. "I never curse."
"I mean you think 'hell' is a curse word."
"I can't believe you just cursed in front of our teachers," he snarks.
"I can't believe you're still talking, requin."
Kevin should have seen this coming: Edd only grins at the nickname. "Aw, you do love me!"
Madison coughs and Magister chortles. "You two certainly don't act like you're dating."
"Kevin is cruel. Ball and chain and all that," he jokes and Magister's laugh rings out harshly.
Kevin hides his face with a groan. "Shut up, Double D…"
Madison only chuckles and pats Edd on the back. "Congrats, kid."
Edd beams and Kevin rolls his eyes.
"And yes, Ms. Harris, we did just start dating yesterday. Isn't that right, Pumpkin?"
"Oh my god! Don't call me that in front of our teachers," he hisses back. "Were you just standing out there listening?"
"Come on, I was curious."
"You just enjoy making my life miserable," Kevin whines. "I'm going back to class."
"What? But I just got here!"
Kevin rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Edd."
"Wait," Ms. James cuts in. "We just to make sure you're okay - both of you? You can tell us."
"Did something happen?" Kevin sighs. "Why are you all so concerned?"
"Kevin," Ms. Harris almost snaps and he looks at her with alarm. "You had to go to the nurse yesterday."
"Are those bruises…?" Madison mumbles and motions to the boy's chin.
"Yeah," Edd cuts in. "It was Trent Frady and that cousin of his."
"Edd!" Kevin hisses and hits his arm.
Those blue eyes turn on him, suddenly vicious and cold. It's a look that could freeze blood. "What?" he snaps.
"Don't- I don't want any trouble, okay? I just want to be left alone-"
"Just letting them continue isn't going to change anything."
Kevin feels like absolute shit and he's really not in the mood for this bullshit. He feels like his chest is burning up and his stomach is twisting like he could puke again with a little prompting.
"You don't have any right to talk about this," Kevin bites back suddenly and Edd looks so shocked that Kevin's stomach immediately twists with guilt (he's totally going to puke).
"Boys…" Ms. Harris says hesitantly. "Just stop for a minute. Was anyone there to see what happened?"
"Both of us, Marie and Lee Kanker as well as Nazz Van Bartonschmeer."
Kevin's chest is growing tight with horror. This should not be happening. Every time he has tried to tell someone what his bullies have done to him it would only get worse. He can't let this continue but he also can't find his voice. It feels like there's something stuck in his throat which constricts his breathing and keeps his words locked away.
He feels lightheaded and dizzy.
"Kevin…" Ms. James says gently and steps closer to rest her hands on his shoulders. He meets her warm brown eyes hesitantly. "Sweetheart, it's going to be okay. No one is going to hurt you."
His voice continues to fail him; he can only nod jerkily.
She steps back slowly as if she's afraid to let him go and Edd immediately wraps his arm around Kevin's shoulders to pull him closer. Kevin melts into the boy's side, eyes sliding closed almost immediately.
"He's feeling bad today," Edd says in explanation and the others hum in acknowledgement. "Didn't sleep well. I should get him back to class."
Kevin snorts. "You don't have to walk me to class. No one is in the halls."
"I didn't ask you," Edd snarks and Kevin can't help but laugh at the sass in his voice. "Jeez, don't fall asleep…" he mutters and nudges Kevin gently. The boy only grunts and puts more weight into leaning on him.
"Here," Madison says as he takes Edd's hall pass and signs it messily on his hand before returning it. Ms. Harris gives him Kevin's as well.
Edd sighs heavily and wheels Kevin around. The redhead grumbles unintelligibly and stumbles over his feet making Edd chuckle and Magister titter again.
"Thank you all for your concern," Edd says quietly and then guides Kevin out.
Kevin clings to Edd and the boy holds him close with such care it makes Kevin's head feel even lighter. Edd pauses at the end of the hall and brushes a thumb over the edge of his jaw as the smaller boy looks up at him sleepily. "You're cute like this," he says softly and his lips quirk.
Kevin can't help but wonder what would happen if he stood on his tiptoes and brushed their lips together.
"Do you want me to carry you?"
Kevin scoffs.
"I can. I can just take us home right now if you're feeling too bad. I can take us to the weight room. No one is allowed back there during the day, not without a teacher there, but I can get us in easily. You can sleep on the equipment. Whatever you call those things. I'm allowed to do pretty much anything I want, to be honest. They even let me leave during lunch. I can just take you home then."
Kevin giggles a little hysterically. "No, I need to go to class."
"What about during lunch, mon coeur? I don't want you to feel bad…"
Kevin shivers as Edd's hand slides up his back and his fingers ghost across Kevin's pale cheek. His stomach burns with his pleasure as he leans into the touch. "I'll sleep tonight."
"I'll hold you tonight," Edd adds and his warm breath brushes across the boy's skin so he shudders. Breathing in each of Edd's exhales, all warm and smelling perfectly of him, Kevin feels like he's not breathing at all. "You won't feel alone."
Kevin suddenly feels like crying. "You won't, either."
Those elegant fingers tip his chin upwards so their eyes meet. Edd suddenly seems terribly close. "I'll always be here if you want me to be…"
"I-I do," Kevin gulps. His head is hazy and he just wants to sleep but he knows this is a feeling that isn't going to fade. He's sure of it. "I do want you."
Edd's blue eyes lock with Kevin's green. The pale boy's heart skips a beat. He knows what the taller wants and he can't help but want it too. His hands rest lightly on Edd's shoulders and he slowly leans in, eyes sliding closed. Their lips brush softly, hardly a kiss, simply a moment of breathing each other in and allowing their skin to touch.
Edd sighs in content, his hands resting on Kevin's hips so carefully it's as if he's afraid he's going to scare the other boy off. Other than that he makes no move to deepen the kiss, no move to grope or grab or force. It sends a shock of pleasure down Kevin's spine which honestly surprises him.
The kiss is unexpectedly soft and slow, not even a real kiss yet somehow much more powerful: Edd's lips just barely teasing across Kevin's. He never thought Double D could be so tender and careful with anything, let alone him. It makes him feel warm and special.
Suddenly wide awake, Kevin draws back to study Edd's face. The taller boy's eyes slide open and he blinks at Kevin slowly as if he's coming back to himself. When his eyes finally open all of the way they're alive in a way Kevin has never seen before; it makes his body thrum.
Licking his lips, Kevin's eyes fall back to the other boy's mouth, full lips soft and parted, then hesitantly meet those blue eyes once more. The intensity he finds there makes him feel powerful and beautiful. His stomach flips.
Very slowly, he leans in again and Edd tilts his head perfectly. Kevin's nerves return to him as their eyes lock, rising to his throat and nearly choking him.
They remain like that for a few quiet moments, simply breathing in each other's air straight from their lips. Edd makes no move to draw Kevin in, his hands still resting on the smaller boy's hips but neither drawing him in nor pushing him away. It's peaceful and undemanding yet it makes Kevin's stomach tight with want.
There's a loud bang and the sound of obnoxious laughter so that Kevin jolts back. The two stare at each other for a long moment, listening to the voices grow nearer as a group of boys come down the main hall laughing and carrying on.
Kevin just wants to grab Edd and drag him away someplace quiet and warm.
Edd is looking at him with clear fear. Kevin frowns. "Wha-what's wrong?"
Edd shakes his head and gulps. "I… shit, we just kissed… Kevin… we kissed."
"I know, I was there," Kevin teases.
"Kevin, this is serious," he almost whines. "Oh my god, I kissed-" he cuts himself off with the dorkiest (cutest) little giggle and a broad smile begins spreading across his face. "We kissed!"
Kevin bursts out laughing and hides his face in his hands. "Oh my god, Double D…"
Edd keeps releasing these shaky, sporadic little giggles that make Kevin's heart swell. "I-I've been wanting this for years… you don't understand."
Kevin steps closer with a shy smile and rests his hands on the taller boy's shoulders. "Well… we could always-"
"Well, well, well!"
Kevin's stomach feels like it's filled with led. He turns to find the two football players from yesterday as well as their captain, James Reagan. You can still see a slight crook to his nose where Edd broke it so long ago (apparently for Kevin, or at least that's what he had claimed).
"Look what we have here!" James grins viciously and stalks forward with the other two boys flanking him. "Two little fags, huh?"
Edd rolls his eyes and gently nudges Kevin until the boy is half behind him. It doesn't take much prodding as Kevin is more than happy to hide.
"Back off, Reagan," Edd sighs, tone carefully cold yet bored. Kevin is coming to realize he is practiced at pretending not to care.
"'Back off'? Fuck you, Double D. I heard you were bothering my boys yesterday, that true?"
"Your 'boys' were bothering something of mine. I told you, you steer clear of me and I'll steer clear of you. That includes your boys and mine."
"Oh no, that's not how this works, you fuckin' twink."
Kevin actually snorts at the thought of anyone calling Double D, Double fucking D the Shark, a twink.
Edd glances back at him, smirking slightly. "Something you want to say, mon coeur?"
"I don't think that really deserves a response."
Edd hums in agreement before turning back to the three who are now glaring. "Is there something you actually need?" he sighs. "If not we'll be going."
"You listen to me," Reagan seethes and stalks forward until he's toe to toe with Edd. "We aren't going to stand by while you dirty up Peach Creek's reputation."
Edd scoffs. "Me? Last time I checked the swim team is drawing in twice the revenue as the football team. We've won four consecutive tournaments while you can't even beat the Lemon Brook Lumpers."
Reagan's face flushes a dark red and his tendons grow taught. He moves to press even closer and Kevin clutches Edd's elbow. "I'm going to make you regret ever disrespecting me, Vincent."
"Is that a threat, Mr. Reagan?" a voice booms and they all jump. Magister is standing in the doorway of the work room with his arms crossed. "I'm sure I didn't just hear that."
Chest heaving, the football captain finally takes a step back. "Of course not," he grits back.
"Get in here. All three of you," Magister barks and the three reluctantly listen, bowing their heads as they pass. "Boys," he says firmly but with less coldness in his voice, "you need to get to class."
The two nod quickly and watch as Magister disappears into the room once more, the door closing with a thunk behind him.
"Oh my god," Kevin says hoarsely. "They're-they're not punishing them, are they?"
Edd closes his hand around Kevin's jaw somewhat roughly and forces him to meet those sharp eyes. "Stand up for yourself."
Kevin smacks his hand away harder than he intends to and freezes, gulping nervously. "You really have no right to talk about this so just drop it," he grits back and turns to storm away.
"Kevin!" he sighs and follows after the redhead. "Kevin, I'm sorry, okay? Please just listen."
"Fuck you," Kevin bites back. Is fury is making his hands shake. "Fucking hypocrite."
"I know," Edd barks back and Kevin picks up his pace, quickly turning the corner. "Fuck- Kevin! Stop! I know! I know I was horrible to you but- Kevin."
Kevin is jerked to a stop when his arm is grabbed tightly. He grits his teeth and keeps his gaze pointedly focused ahead, refusing to even look in Edd's direction.
"Don't walk away from me," Edd pleads.
The pale boy jerks his head back, alarmed by the softness in his voice. "What?"
"Don't walk away. Come here," he whispers roughly and pulls Kevin back into his space, breathing his air. Kevin glares up at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever hurting you and I will spend the rest of my life finding ways to earn your forgiveness and trust if I have to. And that starts now, with this. I am not going to let another person hurt you. I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again, even if that person is you.
"You have to stand up for yourself and I will be here with you. You aren't alone, Kevin. You have me and Nazz, Marie and her sisters, the whole team. Those teachers," he insists, motioning to the work room. "We're going to support you."
Kevin's chest feels tight and his eyes burn with tears. "You… don't have to."
"I want to," he murmurs and cups Kevin's face. "I care about you. We all care about you. I'm going to keep you safe."
Kevin clenches his jaw and presses his face into the boy's chest. "You'll come over tonight?"
"Yes, I'll be there."
"Thanks…" he murmurs and finally draws back.
Edd tilts his hat back and presses a kiss to his forehead. "Not alone."
Gulping, Kevin nods. "Not alone."
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