Chapter 4

When Robert was in Paris he didn't have any luck seeing Robin, he hoped that maybe she had gone to visit Anna. He liked the idea of them being together, especially now that Anna has her memory back, they had missed so much time together already. The entire time Robert had been in Paris he knew he was being followed. What was the deal he knew as well as they did he had never tried to make contacted with Robin? Robert was so sick of the WSB, he had been their slave for 10 years. How much longer could they keep making him do their dirty work? Robert was now in Peru after yet another drug kingpin. Long ago he had started separating himself from the person that did these jobs and who he really was. There was a machine that did this work, that was the only way he could survive and still fell like the man he once had been. The nights had always been the worst for him, trying to sleep, telling himself the horrible things he did were a necessary evil, his actions were keeping his family alive. Now at night he would think of Anna, she remembered him, she still loved him and one day if his prayers are answered they will be together. He held on to the memory of the little things that made life wonderful, family dinners, getting together for holidays, even bickering over what movie to watch in the evening. That was what Robert wanted most, a normal life.

...

Anna had been working at the PVPD for three months when she was offered the position of chief of police. Anna wasn't sure that she really wanted the job but if she was busier then the time between letters would pass much faster. Reluctantly she except the position. It was two days later that Edmund came to her office, "Hi Anna, we haven't seen much of you lately but I thought you might want this." Edmund past her the letter and saw her face light up. He couldn't help but wonder just who was sending these. Clearly, the letters were something that made her happy though, so he wouldn't question them.

Anna made small talk with Edmund asking about his kids then talked about their married sibling, Alex, and Dimitri. Anna just wanted him to leave but wouldn't be rude. Finally, it seemed like Edmund had run out of things to talk about and said he needed to get back to his office. Thank god Anna thought, as soon as he was out the door she opens the latest letter from Robert.

Luv

I am sorry it has been so long. When I went bird watching I felt like there was bigger pray watching me, so I wanted to stay out of sight. I had no luck with my bird watching, I hope that the bird I wanted to see has migrated in your direction. One day I hope to get close to her again maybe even hold her in my arms. I ended up in some hole in the wall that 10 years from now may get phone lines put in. I hate when I'm cut off from reality. It's too easy to get sucked into the darkness of what I must deal with. More and more these days, I find myself thinking of things like home cooked meals, movie nights I guess it's the need to feel normal. It is getting so hard to do what I have to, but at least now I know you are out there, and you know I'm out here somewhere missing you. One day my love I pray we'll be together again. I have an old picture of you, that I keep with me always. I talk to it at night, how I wish it was the real thing. I miss you so very much and long to be with you once more.

All my love Xavier.

Anna was crying when she finishes his letter, not just a few tears. He is hurting. Why won't the WSB just let him go? Surely by now, their debt has been paid. Besides what did either of them do to be black boxed in the first place, she was kidnapped and he went after her to save her life. "You Ok Chief" the sound of one of her officer voices brought her out of her thoughts. Anna realized she must look a mess, she told him she was just reading a letter from an old friend who was going through a really tough time. The officer left not wanting to bother the new chief he wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

When Anna went home that night she read Robert's latest letter again. She had put a candid picture of them on her mantel shortly after moving into the cottage, she was basically sitting on his lap his hand on her leg and they were laughing about something, she had always loved this picture. After she finished the letter she went and got that photo, and she talked to him. "Oh Robert, I wish I knew where you were. I want to hold you and make your pain go away. Why won't the WSB let you go, I want you here with me." Anna phone rang, did she really want to talk to anyone right now but she was police chief now.

She answered it, it was Robin. She was so happy to hear her voice, but apparently not happy enough to hide the sadness in her own voice.

"Mom is everything alright, is something wrong?" Robin asked.

Anna answered honestly, "I'm missing your father. It hit me really hard today is all."

Robin wished she could be there with her mom, for Anna the loss of Robert was still very new having just remembered their life together. "Why don't I come for a visit, we're overdue for one?" Robin suggested.

"I would love that," Anna tells her. They talk a little longer, by the time they hang up Anna does feel better. She smiles thinking to herself, our little bird is migrating my way Robert, then head to bed.

...

It had been three weeks since Robin had called and said she would come for a visit, she would be arriving later that day. Anna was at the police station, finishing up some paperwork she had no intention of coming into work while Robin was here. As she walks out her office a rookie with a cup of coffee in his hand walks right into her, spilling his coffee all over her. "You are very lucky that my daughter is coming today or I would be very angry right now." The rookie watches her walk out of the station without saying anything else to him, clearly, he was lucky.

Robin arrived at almost the same time as Anna. "Hello sweetheart," Anna remembers she is covered in coffee and says, "I will give you the biggest hug as soon as I've changed." Anna rushes out of the room.

There is a knock at the door and Robin goes to answer it, it's Edmund. He says hello and that he didn't realize she was already here, so she explains she had just walked in. Edmund doesn't want to intrude so he decides he can just leave the latest letter with Robin. "Here this is for your mom."

Robin takes the letter and reads the name, "What is this?"

Edmund realizes the name means something to Robin as well, "I don't really know, all I know is that whenever a letter addressed to that name comes, your mother wants it." Edmund decides that it would be a good idea to leave, now.

When Anna comes back into the living room she goes over and gives Robin a big hug. "I have missed you so much I am so glad you're here."

Hugging her mom, "So am I, now that I have you back I don't like being away so long. We have so much to talk about, how about we start with this." Robin holds up the letter Edmund had given her.

Anna is shocked when she sees it. "Oh, Robin you weren't meant to see that." Anna has no idea how she is going to avoid telling Robin about the letters.

"What is this about mom, why are you getting letters addressed to Luv Soltini? I haven't called you Luv in forever and you never used Soltini as a last name. Who is this from?"

Anna didn't want to keep secrets from Robin but this wasn't just her secret. This would be very bad if anyone else knew but it's Robin, she understands sometimes you have to keep secrets. If Anna told her, could she keep this secret? "Can I have the letter please."

"I don't think so, not until you tell me who sent this, and why it says Luv Soltini."

"I can't, if I did," Anna pauses, "oh Robin if I did, if the secret ever got out we'd both be in danger."

What the hell is her mother talking about, "What secret, why would you and I be in danger?"

"Robin, sit down OK. I'll be right back." Anna goes to her room and gets the rest of the letter, she still isn't sure if she is going to tell Robin but wants them in case she does.

Robin is sitting on the couch playing with the letter turning it over and over in her hand. "Can I get some answers now, I'm a big girl mom." Anna knows Robin's right she deserves some answers but can she tell her this. "Please, mom."

"OK, I just need to figure out how to say all this."

"How about you start with why someone is sending letters to Luv."

"They didn't know if I had my memory back, but had thought I might have remembered you at least. Robin if I tell you what these are and who they're from you cannot tell another living soul about this, ever. I mean that, never. We would both be in danger and the person who sent them would be as good as dead."

Robin knows her mother is serious, "Ok mom, I promise I will never tell another living soul." Anna starts with the first note explaining that it showed on the front matt, just a folded piece of paper. Anna handed her that first. Robin read it then looked at her mom with a shocked look of realization on her face. "Xavier? Mom, as in Robert Xavier Scorpio?" Robin looked as white as a ghost.

Anna took her hand. "Yes Robin, he's alive I went and met him that night, I didn't know who I was going to find when I got there. I was armed, ready for a fight but there he was, it was your father. He told me to save our lives he is being forced to do the WSB's dirty work, they even threaten you, Robin, you were just a kid. So to keep us safe he has to stay away." Anna took a deep breath before continuing, "When the WSB told him I was here, he said he needed to see me. He just wanted to see for himself I was really alive, but he saw me crying, I was alone and it was just a couple days after my memory returned, he didn't know it but Robert saw me mourning him. That was why he left this because he couldn't stand to see me in that much pain. Edmund found the note, all he read was the name on the outside before I took it from him. Edmund only knows it's someone from my past that sends these."

"Can I read the other letters mom?" Anna makes sure they're in order, Robin starts to read them, "Oh mom I'm your little bird, does he really come to see me?" Anna nods. By the time she finishes the last letter Anna has already read, they were both in tears. "This last one mom he sounds like he is so much pain."

"I got that letter the day you called, that was why I was so sad. I just wanted to find him, hold him like he did for me the night we meet in the turret. He does go and see you, he can't get close but he does look in on you. Apparently, the WSB told him about you having HIV, he told me it was hard not to go to you then."

"Can we read this one together or do you want to be alone?" Robin holds up the still unopened letter. Anna takes the letter and tells Robin together.

Luv

I wish there was a way for me to hear your voice right now, I have been having a hard time of it the last couple weeks. I just want to come home to you. I know where I belong and it isn't out here. As hell holes go at least this one has power and running water, it's like the Ritz. I miss you so much Luv. Oh to be in your arms again, my safe place. It sounds like there might be time off for good behavior coming up. I know where I would want to go but I also know I can't risk it. Maybe depending on where I end up at the end of this, I might be in the right area for some bird watching. I miss my baby bird she has turned out so beautifully. When I write to you Luv I can be me, not the machine that I hide behind while I work. That machine is my shield, one day I hope I can leave it behind forever. I love you so much you have my heart and soul, I miss you more every day.

Yours forever more Xavier

Anna and Robin don't say anything they just hold each other tell the crying stops. Finally, Robin looked at Anna, "Daddy needs to come home to us. He's hurting so much."

Anna hugs Robin, knowing Robin has never seen this side of Robert before, he would hate to know that his little girl knows how vulnerable he can be where they are concerned. He didn't really like that Anna knew this side either, but she was the only one he would let see it. "Maybe one day he can come back to us. How do you feel now that you know he's alive?" Anna asked

"Mom, after I got you back, I let myself hope that dad might have survived too. Just knowing he's out there somewhere, makes me happy. I missed you both so much."