Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive (Swtcheeks)! I meant to have this chapter up earlier, but a whole slew of events just prevented it from happening, but here it is now. This chapter kind of morphed into something a bit different than I had intended, based on my own personal feelings and the opinion of my beta reader. (Thanks Summerbelle!) So, something that was supposed to happen in this chapter will actually be happening later, which made the chapter not quite as confrontational as I originally intended. I hope you still enjoy!
swj827 – I couldn't respond to your review so I thought I'd clarify here. Mitchum and Shira are still married. I apologize for any confusion. This chapter should make that clear.
Disclaimer: Hmm, Gilmore Girls…still not mine.
Detour
Chapter 4: Left Lane Ends, Merge Right
Silence engulfed the room. Logan stood just inside the door of his father's study, arms crossed defensively across his chest. Rory was looking everywhere but at him. Finn stood uncomfortably next to Rory, his gaze darting anxiously back and forth between the two.
His initial shock over her presence had prevented him from really seeing her, so he took the opportunity to peruse her without her noticing. His gaze swept over her black silk clad body, lingering for a brief moment on her misty azure eyes and the teeth currently kneading her bottom lip. A clear indication that she was nervous, he knew. He hated that he knew, that he remembered.
She looked amazing, even more beautiful than he recalled. Despite the tension in the room and her obvious discomfort she held herself with a poise and confidence that hadn't been there three years ago. And it was incredibly alluring. He felt a sharp stab of desire for her and immediately cursed himself – for wanting her at all and for having such thoughts at his sister and brother-in-law's wake of all places. She needed to leave. He needed her to leave. But apparently she couldn't.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he was tired of standing here waiting for her to speak. He was just about to ask her purpose for being there again, but was distracted by the footsteps he heard coming up behind him.
"Logan." He heard Colin call out his name from behind him in the hallway. "What are you doing in here, man? You said thirty minutes ago, you were just going to check…," Colin's voice trailed off as he arrived in the doorway and took in the scene before him. "Rory? What are you doing here?"
"Now, Colin, that's an excellent question, which Rory was just about to answer or I'll have her escorted off the property." Logan said irritably.
Finn and Colin both gave Logan dirty glares. "Mate, is that really necessary? Rory has a legitimate reason for being here other than that fact that Honor and Josh were her friends too, or have you forgotten?"
White hot anger flared inside Logan. "Forgotten? No, Finn, I don't think I've forgotten anything. I don't think I've forgotten that my sister and her husband are dead. I don't think I've forgotten that the whole reason my ex-girlfriend who I haven't seen or heard from in three fucking years is standing here telling me she can't leave my parent's house, despite my asking her too, is all because my sister and her husband are dead!"
"Mate, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—,"
"Forget it, Finn." Logan shifted uncomfortably under Colin, Finn, and Rory's sympathetic gazes. His outburst had drained him both physically and emotionally. He couldn't recollect another time when he had ever felt so tired. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep. But unfortunately, that wasn't an option for him right now. He sighed in resignation. "Rory, please just…,"
"I received a summons requesting my presence at the reading of Honor and Josh's last will and testament to be held today at the Huntzberger estate after the funeral and wake."
"You what?!" Both Logan and Colin exclaimed at the revelation. They both watched as Rory pulled a sheaf of papers of out Finn's hands and then purposefully crossed the room. She stopped abruptly about a foot from Logan and held the papers out to him. He stared at her warily for a moment, shaken slightly by her close proximity, and then hesitantly took the proffered papers.
His eyes quickly scanned the documents she had given him. When he had grasped everything he needed to, he handed the papers over to Colin, who had been hovering impatiently next to him. He groaned in a mixture of frustration and resignation, wearily raising a hand to rub his tired eyes.
"Logan, look, I'm not here to cause any trouble. And the last thing I want to be is the cause of more grief or pain for you, but I have to be here. So, maybe we could just try and make the best out a really horrible and tragic situation, please? You can ignore me, pretend I'm not here, and that's fine. I'll just find out whatever it is that Honor and Josh left me and then I'll leave. It will be like I was never here."
Logan seriously doubted that with her departure it would be like she never appeared. Her presence was having more of an effect on him than he was willing to admit. He was sure weeks would go by and he would still be trying to erase the whole anger and grief fueled confrontation from his memory. He didn't think he'd be able to ignore her either, but shrugged in agreement so they could end this stilted conversation. "Fine, whatever. Let's go. I'm sure by now they are probably waiting for me."
He motioned for her to precede him out the door of the study, but she hesitated. He raised an eyebrow in question at her. She motioned behind her with her hand. "I just need to get my purse."
"I got it, love." Finn said as he bent down, picking up her purse from the floor. He moved toward the trio standing at the door and handed Rory's purse over to her.
"Thanks, Finn." Rory said softly.
"No problem, love." Logan watched in irritation as Finn walked past him and flung his arm around Rory's shoulders and pushed her forward. "Let's go. Let's get you something to drink."
"Coffee?" She asked hopefully.
"I was thinking of something a little stronger, love. You'll probably need it."
"Right." He heard Rory respond as her and Finn rounded the corner at the end of the foyer.
And once again, he was left standing in awkward silence with Colin who hadn't spoken since he had asked Rory what she was doing there. He briefly wondered if Colin and Finn's loyalties had shifted more than he originally thought, but then Colin gave him an appraising stare.
"Are you okay?" Colin asked obviously concerned.
"Just peachy." He retorted before striding resolutely out the door. Colin followed. "Just fucking peachy."
Thankfully when Logan entered the room with Rory, his father only raised an inquisitive brow at him and greeted Rory politely. His mother, Shira, on the other hand muttered a derisive comment under her breath, which Rory either didn't hear or graciously ignored, and then offered her a disingenuous smile and greeting.
"You must be Logan Huntzberger." A man that he didn't know approached him and Rory and offered his hand. "I'm Timothy Parker, Honor and Josh's lawyer, I'm so sorry for your loss Mr. Huntzberger."
Logan shook his hand. "Please call me Logan, and thank you."
Timothy turned to Rory and once again introduced himself. "Timothy Parker. And you are?"
"Rory Gilmore." She offered.
"Ah, right." Timothy stated matter-of-factly. Both Rory and Logan gave him a curious look but didn't say anything. "Please have a seat and we can begin."
Logan wanted to laugh at the absurdity of being offered a seat by a stranger in his parent's home, but choked back the laughter which he was sure his mother would disapprove of and in his current state of exhaustion would surely lead to uncontrollable hysterics. Rory followed him to the only available seating in the room, hesitating a moment before taking a seat on the far left hand side of the loveseat, physically as far away from Logan as she could get and still remain sitting. After seeing that Logan and Rory were settled, Mitchum indicated with a nod of his head that they were ready to begin.
As Mr. Parker read through the will, Rory's thoughts drifted still trying to figure out why she was there. She only grew more confused as the reading of the will progressed. It seemed most of Honor and Josh's assets had been divvied up – trust funds set up, money given to charity, property left to Logan, Josh's brother, and Mitchum and Shira. She wasn't sure what was left, but she continued to sit impatiently next to Logan.
Logan watched Rory fidget absentmindedly with the hem of her dress. For the past thirty minutes he had done his best to ignore her and pay attention to what was happening around him. But he found his attention inexplicably drawn to her and he had to restrain himself from reaching out and lacing his fingers through hers to stop her nervous habit, which only served to anger and irritate him more. Guilt twisted his stomach. He hadn't heard anything Honor and Josh's lawyer said. Timothy cleared his throat, drawing Logan's attention back toward him.
"With the birth of their son seven months ago Honor and Josh left specific instructions regarding his custody with all possible circumstances in mind. Josh didn't have much family, as his father passed away when he was a child and his mother while he was in college. He also has a brother, but as you are most likely aware he is in the Peace Corps and traveling through war torn countries as we speak, so would not make a suitable guardian. This obviously left very few options for the couple. With that being said, it is the express desire of Honor Huntzberger-Samuel and Joshua Samuel that given the unfortunate event of them passing at the same time joint custody of Ethan Maxwell Huntzberger-Samuel is left to Logan Elias Huntzberger and Lorelai Leigh Gilmore III. Now, there are--,"
It took a moment for the occupants of the room to process the information. But suddenly the previously calm room erupted in a flurry of motion and a cacophony of voices.
"What?" Rory cried out in astonishment.
"I'm not sure I understood you correctly." Logan stated full of disbelief.
Before the lawyer could respond to either one of them, their attention was pulled to the other side of the room.
"Mr. Parker, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the intention of a custody arrangement supposed to be in the best interest of the child in question, in this case, my grandson?" Shira asked condescendingly.
"Yes, Mrs. Huntzberger." Mr. Parker affirmed tentatively.
"Then could you please explain to me why as a civil servant, who I'm sure was paid handsomely for his services, would you advise my daughter and son-in-law that leaving the care of their son in the hands of a woman who shied away from a commitment of marriage three years ago with my son would be a in the best interest of Ethan. Isn't raising a child an even bigger commitment? What indication did you have that allowing Miss Gilmore here to be a guardian of my grandson would be a good idea? "
"Mrs. Huntzberger, I can assure you—," Timothy began defensively.
"Don't answer that, Mr. Parker." Logan held up a hand to stop him. He turned to face his mother. "And mother, shut up!"
"Logan," she stated appalled at his tone with her, "I'm just looking out for your best interests and my grandson's."
"No you're not!" He snapped.
"I suggest you listen to your son, Shira." Mitchum said speaking up for the first time. Shira turned to Mitchum, surprise evident upon her face. Clearly, she had expected her husband to support her.
"As always, you are only concerned about yourself. You sit here now and act like you wanted me to marry Rory, when in reality you did nothing but undermine our relationship from the beginning. You were delighted when she turned my proposal down."
Shira started to protest, but Logan cut her off. "Please I don't want to hear your false platitudes. It's never been a secret that you don't approve of Rory, but it seems this decision will be up to Rory and I to make, whether you like it or not! So stay out of it!" He snarled. He was so angry – angry at Honor for putting him in this position, angry at his mother for being the manipulative conniving woman that she was, angry at needing to defend Rory and their past relationship.
The room fell into a heavy silence. The tension between mother and son was palpable. Rory had the overwhelming urge to reach out and calm Logan and the equally overwhelming desire to give Shira a contemptuous tongue lashing. But she refrained from doing either.
"Mr. Parker, I think we can continue now." Mitchum broke the silence.
"Uh, right, Mr. Huntzberger. As I was saying, Honor and Josh have left custody of Ethan to Logan and Rory. However, there is one stipulation to the custody arrangement that must be agreed upon before you would be allowed to have custody of Ethan."
"And what is this stipulation?" Logan asked warily.
"The stipulation is that you must both share the same residence along with Ethan."
Logan groaned and murmured an expletive under his breath. "And if we don't agree to the stipulation?"
"You must both agree to the arrangement and abide by the stipulation. In the event that you choose not to, custody will be awarded to his grandparents, Mitchum and Shira Huntzberger."
Shira looked smug and like she was about to say something, but Mitchum placed a restraining hand on her arm and Logan directed a menacing glare at her. His sister sure knew how to back him into a corner. The last thing he would want for Ethan was for him to be raised by his parents and he was sure Honor was gambling on Rory feeling the exact same way.
"Do we have to decide right now?" Rory asked.
"You will have forty-eight hours to make a decision. During this time Ethan may stay with you Logan or he may stay with his grandparents."
Logan nodded his head in agreement. "I'm staying with my parents anyway, so that won't be a problem."
"I have copies of the custody agreement for you and Miss Gilmore to look over." He said as he handed manila envelopes over to both Rory and Logan. "The contents of the envelopes also include letters addressed to both of you from Honor, which she assured me would explain Honor and Josh's reasoning behind their request."
He vaguely heard Timothy still talking, but he stared fixedly at the manila envelope in his hand for a moment, before taking a deep breath and opening it. He pulled out the contents of the envelope. Setting aside what he assumed was the copy of the custody agreement without even looking at it. His gaze was fixated on Honor's loopy scrawl across a smaller white envelope. He reverently ran his fingers across his name, carefully opened the seal of the envelope and drew out the letter his sister had written him.
February 8, 2010
Dear Logan,
My little brother, if you are reading this letter I have to assume I am no longer with you. I don't know what happened to me, but please forgive me for leaving you. I only hope that what Josh and I have set in motion by our untimely deaths will someday once again bring you love and happiness (that is probably after you are done wishing you could strangle me).
No parent ever really wants to think about a time when they won't be around to see their child grow up, but as a parent sometimes you have to think about the hard things and make tough decisions. Just the thought of missing any of Ethan's life while writing this letter broke my heart. Potentially missing his first words, first steps, first day of school, his first girlfriend, graduation from high school and college, watching him fall in love and get married, seeing him eventually have children of his own – Josh and I will miss out on all of that. But if we can't be there to witness his life, you and Rory are the next best option.
If I know you, which I think I do, you probably feel backed into a corner by this plan. Through the haze of your anger and grief right now, you might even resent me. I'm sorry, Logan. I know you would have taken Ethan in a heartbeat and you would have been a great single parent. But I want more for Ethan. I want Ethan to have everything we didn't have as children – unconditional love, support, a real family. And I know you and Rory can give him that. And okay, so maybe I'm playing a little matchmaker in my after life as well.
I know how much Rory hurt you when she turned down your marriage proposal and I know you've closed your heart to avoid any more pain. You both made mistakes, but a love like the two of you shared doesn't just fade away. If I can give you one more piece of advice, it would be to open your heart back up to her Logan. Let her be your light, let her be your love, and let her be your family. Let her be there for you and Ethan. She still loves you, I know she does. How could she not?
Logan, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of everything you have accomplished in your life and the man you have become and the man I know you will be. You are going to be a great father. I have always thought so.
One of the most important lessons I learned from my little brother was how to live life - to live life to the fullest, to jump at new experiences, to be fearless, and to make every minute count. Logan I hope you find the courage to live your life like that again.
Love always your sister,
Honor
He read the letter three times, tears in his eyes, before he looked up at the nearly empty room. Rory sat next him, the contents of her envelope strewn beside her, tear tracks drying on her face. They stared intently at each other, neither wanting to be the first to break eye contact. He finally tore his gaze from her and stared pensively at a knot on the hardwood floor.
"Your parents and Timothy left a few minutes ago. He said to call him when we've made our decision. Here's his business card." She handed him the card. He nodded and accepted the card in his outstretched hand. Rory waited a moment for him to say something, but he remained silent. "So much for pretending I was never here."
He choked out a strangled laugh at that comment. "Yeah."
"I'd like to meet him." Rory said quietly.
"Meet who?"
"Ethan." She reminded him.
"Oh, right." He heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair in aggravation. "He's in his nursery. I can take you up."
She agreed, but he didn't move. "I think Colin and Finn may break down the door soon if we don't come out. I think I heard them scratching at it earlier." She was trying to keep things light for both their sakes.
His mouth twisted in a sardonic smile. "Right, let's go then. Wouldn't want to keep the wondertwins waiting."
"He's beautiful, Logan." Rory said quietly as her and Logan gazed down on the sleeping seven month old in his crib.
"He's got good genes." He said drolly. She rolled her eyes at him and then returned her admiring gaze back to Ethan. He looked so peaceful in his light blue sleeper, his small chest rising and falling steadily, most likely not even aware of the turmoil and upheaval his young life had just experienced. She wondered if she could really fulfill the role Honor and Josh had requested of her.
She watched in awe as Logan gently ran his hand over Ethan's soft blond hair, soothing himself or Ethan she wasn't sure. "Logan, I don't know how to be a mother." She whispered so quietly she wasn't sure he heard.
He heaved a troubled sigh. "I always thought you'd make a great mother."
"Really?" She asked shocked.
"Yeah, with Lorelai as your role model, how could you not?" He joked, avoiding what his true thoughts were. He wasn't ready to be that open and honest with Rory. "Do you want to hold him?"
Her gaze flew to him in surprise and apprehension. "He's sleeping."
"It's okay. He'll sleep through pretty much anything." He picked Ethan up, cradling him in his arms. Ethan hardly stirred. Logan looked like a natural holding Ethan. So comfortable, even the anger and grief she knew he was still harboring, were hardly evident. "Here."
Rory held out her arms and Logan transferred the still sleeping Ethan into her protective embrace. Their skin brushed briefly and sent a shock through both of them, but Rory kept her arms securely around Ethan. Logan took a step back, his breath hitching at the sight before him. The two of them together made a stunning picture.
Rory gazed tenderly at Ethan, rocking him in her arms. Whether she realized it or not, Logan thought she was a natural. She was just scared; he was scared too. "What are we going to do?"
She glanced at him for a split second and then focused her attention back on Ethan. "I need time to think." She said softly. Her heart was all ready telling her one thing, but she needed the paper to say the same. She needed to make sure she would be doing the right thing. This wasn't something she could change her mind about.
"I can see the Pro/Con list all ready forming in your head." He said mockingly.
"Don't mock the Pro/Con list. It's helped me make every important decision in my life." She glared at him sternly. "All except for one." She muttered under her breath.
He wasn't sure if she had intended for him to hear her last comment, so he refrained from responding. He wasn't mentally ready to open that can of worms anyway. "I think your grandparents left, so I can get Frank to take you to Stars Hollow or I'm sure Finn or Colin would be willing."
"How do you know I'm going to Stars Hollow?"
He gave her a pointed stare. "Really?"
"Right, this is me we're talking about. Predictable to a fault." She sulked.
He stared at Ethan in her arms. "Not always."
"Hmmm." She hummed noncommittally. "I think I'll ask Finn to take me to Stars Hollow. He's been begging to go for awhile and my mother has grown strangely attached and seems to be going through withdrawals that are driving Luke batty."
He smiled painfully at the additional reminder of how ingrained Colin and Finn were in her life. "I'm sure Finn and Lorelai will be thrilled. And the outing might do Finn some good. Release some of his excess energy being cooped up in this house for four days has caused."
"He's not a dog, Logan." She scolded.
He smirked, the first one she had seen all day. "No, but you gotta admit sometimes he sure acts like one. The yipping at the feet, the incessant barking, the slobbery kisses. Sounds a lot like Finn to me."
She scoffed. "Some friend you are." She leaned over and gently placed Ethan back into his crib. She felt the loss of his warmth and shuddered slightly. He still didn't stir. She took one last awe-inspired gaze at Ethan and then turned decisively toward Logan. "Ready?"
It seemed to him her simple question asked something much deeper than if he was ready to leave, but he pushed the feeling aside and nodded. He unconsciously went to place his hand on the small of her back to guide her, but recoiled hastily when he realized what he was doing. The almost normal exchange in Ethan's nursery seemed to have lolled his tired mind into a false sense of security.
Author's Note II: So, did you know that the whole concept of the "reading of the will" was created for fiction – movies, TV and literature? I found that out while writing this chapter. In real life, there is no such thing! Go figure! Next chapter is going to be in Stars Hollow (YAY!) if you haven't all ready guessed and will also include Rory's letter from Honor. I have a funeral to attend out of state on Thursday and Friday and then I am leaving for a week long vacation to Florida on Saturday morning, so I'm not going to make any promises on posting next week for Chapter 5, but I will promise you won't go more than two weeks without an update. Hopefully the sun and surf will inspire me!
I love all of your reviews so let me know what you think of this chapter. You simply are amazing and I really enjoy hearing what you all think. And reviews inspire me to write! I am open to your constructive criticism, suggestions you might have for future chapters, questions, or pretty much anything. Thanks for reading!