A/N: Okay, it's Sunday, and you know what that means - time for an update. Thanks to all who have favorited and followed, and especially to those who have reviewed. Love it. Live for it. So thanks for that.

Onward and upward - let's see what our boy is up to. Anything you recognize isn't mine, sadly. Enjoy! And Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Chapter 4

The next morning, I'm too embarrassed from my pathetic display of emotion last night to stick around until she wakes up. I'm out of the house before six. I escape on my motorcycle, walking it down the gravel drive so I don't wake her up with its snarling engine. When I'm a good distance away, I go ahead and kick her started, then I take off, not really thinking at all about where I'm going but rather about Shea and what I'm doing to her.

I think I have Shea figured out. She's one of those girls who wants to save me. She sees potential in everything, I realize as I take the curves of the reservation roads at death-defying speeds. I've seen it in everything we do; at an antique store, when she sees a stray animal, even at my broken down shack of a house. In Shea's eyes, everything can be made better with a little attention, a little TLC. She wants to give everything a bath, slap on a coat of paint, rearrange shit to make everything all better. I know that's what she wants to do with me. I'm a project. I wonder what would happen if I let her go ahead and improve me. Would she get sick of me then? Or would she be content with her finished product?

I'm blazing down the streets of Forks now, giving no heed to the speed limit in the tiny town. My mind is completely occupied with Shea. I think back to the stark realization I came to last night – that I don't deserve her. It's true. She's far and away too good for me. The thought depresses me, and I'm surprised by how intensely. I didn't think I cared about Shea that much. Maybe I'm not as hopeless as I think.

I have to let her go somehow, set her free. This is one project she'll never be able to complete. Unless she can somehow magically change into someone else, I will never be 'fixed.' I don't think she'll go easy, though – obviously - since I tried to break up with her last night and she just followed me home. Maybe I wasn't clear about breaking up. But I can't really bring myself to be even meaner to her!

I'm suddenly aware of the sound of a siren, and a flashing light in my rear-view mirror. Charlie Swan, Bella's dad and the Forks Chief of Police, is on my tail and he's pulling me over for speeding, I'm sure. Fuck!

Contritely, I steer the bike to the side of the road and dig in my pocket for my license. Charlie and I go way back, since before I was born. His dad and mine are good friends. But he doesn't abide two-wheeled vehicles, and he sure as hell doesn't like me speeding down the streets of his little town.

He's flipping open his citation spiral as he walks up to me. "Hey, Jake," he greets me with a snarky grin. "What're you doing out here in Forks so early?"

"Just blowing off some steam," I answer, praying I don't sound too smart-assed. "How've you been?"

He's looking at his notebook, and he nods. "Good, good," he says without looking up. "You were going kinda fast, Jake. Not what I'd call safe, even at this hour of the day."

Now I'm apologetic, hoping to get out of the ticket I'm sure he's already writing. "Yeah, sorry about that Charlie. I was…uh…thinking."

"You were doing 49 in a 35 is what you were doing, son. I can't really let you go on that one."

"Aw, come on, Charlie. You're the chief. You can let me go. I promise I'll slow down." My voice takes on a cajoling tone. I know he doesn't want to give me a ticket. He likes me too much.

He looks at me, cocking one eyebrow, then shakes his head. "Ah, I can't give you a ticket, kid." He says, giving up. "Whaddya hear from your old man? He coming back soon?" I can tell Charlie misses his fishing buddy.

"Not till September. Beck wants to keep him for the summer. He's having the time of his life over there. My brother in law has him sitting on a surf board. He's trying to get him to catch a wave."

Charlie busts out laughing. "Yeah, that'll be the day," he says. "Alright, kid, good to see you. Slow down and keep that helmet on." He turns to go back to his cruiser and it occurs to me that I haven't seen Charlie since before the wedding. He didn't say a word about it, then or now. I know Charlie has a little grudge against that Cullen freak for leaving Bella like that a year ago last September, and I wonder what he thinks about the husband and wife thing. All this goes through my head before he even reaches his car, so I call out to him.

"Hey, Charlie, wait up," I say. I saunter over to him. "I hear you have a new son-in-law. What gives? The Blacks weren't invited to the soiree?"

Charlie flashes an expression of extreme frustration. "You heard about that, huh?" he asks.

I huff a laugh. "This is Forks, remember?" I say as an answer.

"Yeah. Sorry about that," he says, looking sheepish. A thought occurs to him. "Hey, let's go over to Lila's Café. We can have a cup of coffee and I'll bring you up to speed."

"I'll follow you," I say in assent, ignoring the lame joke I could make about being up to speed. I go back to my bike, kick her started, and follow him to the cozy little dive that is Lila's.

Charlie is treated like royalty in this little town, and nowhere is this more apparent than at Lila's. They skitter around, wiping off his 'favorite' table and putting on a fresh pot of coffee for him. A good looking middle-aged waitress brings him a plate of fresh, hot doughnut holes rolled in cinnamon-sugar. "On the house, Chief," she says as she swings away.

"Wow," I comment. "Come here often?"

Charlie laughs, but there's something off about it. "Yeah, I guess you could say that," he says. "Ever since Bella's been gone, I've been eating out a lot."

And suddenly I see why he's got that strange demeanor. It's because of Bella, same as me.

"Yeah," I agree carefully. I don't want to offend him, but I want his take on the situation. "So that wedding thing came around kind of fast, didn't it?"

He looks at me quickly, as if I've guessed something he was trying to hide. He's quiet for a second, looking at me, and then he says, "I thought so, too." There's a long silence as we watch each other. Then he says, "Do you think there's something...weird…about the Cullens?"

I hope he doesn't see the panic in my eyes. I'm trying really hard not to show it, but it's difficult. I decide to play it cool, try to make a joke of it. "You mean besides the paleface look, perfect clothes, ridiculously expensive cars, and outrageous house? Nah, they seem like your regular run-of-the-mill smalltown folks to me, Charlie. I don't know what you're talking about."

It works; Charlie laughs - but there's an edge to it. He's not buying my jocularity. "Yeah, besides that. I don't mean those things. I mean...something...not right."

I'm not saying a word. He watches me through narrowed eyes, and I see that Charlie is petrified. And that scares the shit out of me.

If Charlie's afraid - especially if he's afraid for Bella - there's no telling what he'll do. He doesn't know about the vampire thing or the shapeshifter thing, and I don't want him to find out. If he goes sniffing around in his cop-like way, he's bound to figure something out. That's the last thing we need. I feel like I have to throw him off the trail.

Or should I? Would he force Bella to leave Cullen, or at least help her do it if she decided to? She might need her dad on her side and in the know sometime in the future. Now I'm torn. What do I do?

"I dunno, Charlie," I say, feigning ignorance. "I don't know that I'd call them normal, but they don't seem to bother anyone."

This is, at least, the truth.

"They bother me," he mutters, but it's too quiet for a regular human to hear, so I have to pretend I can't either. But I have to admit, they bother me too.

The waitress brings us fresh coffee and we dig into the doughnut holes. They literally melt in my mouth. They're amazing. I can't stop raving about them. This seems to amuse Charlie.

"So what have you been up to since graduation? I hear you're still working at Sam's," he says.

"Yeah, it pays the bills," I answer, but I want more info about Bella. "So the wedding was nice?"

"It was nice," he agrees reluctantly. "I mean, there wasn't a hint of Bella in it, but it was nice." I don't know what he means by that, so I let it go.

"And you left me out because Dad was out of town?" I ask nonchalantly.

"No. I asked her about you. She said she didn't think you could handle it," he says, watching my reaction. He knows about our situation - how we were seeing each other, how she dumped me unceremoniously when Cullen returned. I was pretty sure he was on my side about it. I find it interesting that he didn't make her invite me.

"Couldn't talk her into inviting me, huh?" I asked.

I saw the pity in his face before he even opened his mouth. "Believe me, I tried," he said. "Her and that husband of hers put the kibosh on it. I think it was mostly him."

This makes me seethe. I hate the fact that he's controlling her. And I see that Charlie doesn't like it either. It interests me that he won't say his name either. He's like me in that respect.

"Huh," is all I can think of to say. I want to rant, but it would embarrass me later, so I shut my mouth and pop in another doughnut hole. After swallowing it, along with some of my resentment, I muster up this gem. "But you think she's happy, right?"

The fact that he has to think about it tells me everything I need to know. He knows she's not. He doesn't know what to do about it any more than I do. "I guess," he finally mutters.

"And that's what matters, right?" I'm goading him now. I can't help it. He's her father. If anyone could influence her, it's him.

"Look, Jake," he says. "I don't know what's going on over at that museum she lives in, but I hardly ever talk to the girl, let alone see her. And when I do talk to her, it's when he's not there. She sounds miserable, but that can't be – they're newlyweds, for cripe sake. She's supposed to be deliriously happy right now. Maybe she always sounds so depressed when I talk to her because he's away at those times. I don't know…" He trails off, uncertain.

"Yeah," I say before I think. "That's when she calls me, too."

He looks up at me from his coffee cup, surprised. "What?" he asks incredulously. "She calls you?"

Instantly I regret telling him. He's blown away by this revelation. I nod reluctantly. "Yeah, about every couple weeks. When he goes on his little nature walks or whatever they're calling them now."

"Okay, now that's something else again. I don't like that one bit." Charlie is indignant. "If she's doing that, to me that means she's unhappy. And if that's the case then something has to be done."

I squint at Charlie. "Like what?" I ask, sarcastically interested. "You gonna go in there and carry her off?"

He regards me like I'm stupid, and maybe I am. "If she's not happy, then I'll talk to her. Figure out if this is still what she wants," he explains like I'm five.

"You don't think he'd hurt her somehow, do you?" I ask. I know for a fact that he wouldn't, but it doesn't hurt to have Charlie think he might. That would really light a fire under him. I feel sort of bad for creating worry for the guy, but this is Bella we're talking about.

Charlie's eyes blaze at my question. "Well, God help him if he has, because I'll kill the son of a bitch," he spits. It's the first time I've ever heard Charlie utter anything that sounds remotely like a swear word.

"Take it easy, Charlie," I say in a placating tone. "I'm just asking."

"The thing is, Jake, I've thought of it before. He keeps her away from me and her friends. He's very manipulative. I think he won't let her use the car – or at least, she doesn't come over to see me. And the fact that she calls me only when he's not around makes me think that he's not letting her call if he isthere. Those are all classic examples of an abusive relationship." He looks at me. "He wouldn't let her invite you to the wedding. Isn't that proof right there? You guys were best friends for months. I can't even think of how much that hurt her not to invite you."

I let this sink in for a few minutes, sipping the coffee. "Maybe she told the truth. Maybe she didn't think I could handle it."

"I think it was more like hethought you couldn't handle it," Charlie says. "That was her excuse for not inviting you, but the look in her eyes said she wanted you there. You want my opinion? I think he's jealous of you. And that's another sign of an abusive relationship. He's married to her, right? What's he got to be jealous of?"

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to look confused, but I really want to break into a huge grin. I'd love it if that bloodsucking leech was jealous of me. That douche knows Bella better than anyone except me - ah, maybe better than me even. If he's jealous, there's a reason. And if there's a reason, that means she might still love me like I love her.

Is that possible? Can she still love me? Even after marrying that prick, can she still have those feelings for me?

I know my feelings for her haven't changed. If anything they've gotten stronger. I thought they'd diminish with time, but not seeing her has made the feelings almost unbearable. I want her so bad I can taste it.

"You seriously think he's jealous of me?" I ask Charlie.

"He's so jealous of you he doesn't know which way is up," Charlie says. "I could see it at the wedding. Any time she mentioned your name, he got this crazy look. I'm a cop, Jake. I've been on my share of domestic disturbance calls. I've seen that look. He's jealous. Extremely jealous."

I don't ask Charlie what I want to ask him: whether he thinks Cullen has a reason to be jealous of me. I don't think he knows anyway, but if I ask him, I'll risk looking like a fool. I don't want to reveal that hope that's flickering in my chest, trying to start a fire. I know Bella misses me, but is it just for the physical stuff that she can't really have with the vamp? Or is it actually me she misses?

"Speak of the devil," Charlie says mildly, looking out the window of the café. I turn my head to see what's caught his attention and Bella's douche of a husband drives by in his stupid shiny Volvo. He peers into the café, searching for Charlie I'm sure, because he's seen the cruiser. I wonder if he recognizes my cycle. His eyes lock with mine as I sit there with his father-in-law, and I see a flash of anger…and maybe there is jealousy there too.

I try very hard to blank my mind. I've gotten into this habit whenever I see this prick. He has an ability that would drive the most patient person insane – he can read minds. I don't want him seeing anything about Bella in mine.

But Charlie doesn't know this. I'm sure his mind is wide open and full of thoughts about what he sees as his only daughter's unhappy marriage.

The vamp turns his little twerpy car in to the parking lot at Lila's. Fuck. Now would not be a good time for a visit, after the line I've been feeding Charlie about Cullen possibly hurting Bella somehow. I wonder what's going through Charlie's head right now and if Cullen can read it. They're both good at hiding things, so it's hard to say.

I figure out what Charlie is thinking pretty quick, though. He doesn't want a confrontation here, in his home-away-from-home diner where he's treated like a visiting dignitary. He throws some money on the table, tells me it's on him, and makes for the door like the place is on fire. He's out in the parking lot a second later, leaning down to talk to Cullen who's still in the driver's seat of his car.

They commiserate for a few minutes, with Cullen craning his neck to see me from where he's sitting and Charlie trying to block him. I wait, because I know Charlie wants me to, but inside I'm dying to go out there and give that son of a bitch a piece of my mind. How dare he keep Bella from inviting me to the wedding? I should have been there. I would have taken her away, or protested at that one part where they ask if anyone knows why they shouldn't get married, or something…

After a few minutes of what looks like civil discussion, Charlie straightens up and shakes Cullen's hand. He continues to block Cullen's view of me, and I stay where I am until I see Cullen pull away before I go out to the parking lot myself. Charlie's still out there, leaning against the cruiser as I walk over.

"He's on his way back to Bella," Charlie says as I approach. "I didn't know, but the rest of his family isn't even there. He and Bells are living in that big place all by themselves right now."

I don't like that one bit, and I can see he doesn't either. "Is that safe?" I ask him, knowing what his answer will be.

"I sure don't like it," Charlie says. "She's out there all alone when he leaves town. I told him that from now on I want him to bring her to my place when he goes on his trips. At least she'll have some company."

"Did he say anything else?" I ask.

"No, I didn't think it was really the time or the place to ask him if he thinks Bella's happy," Charlie says. I can tell this is bothering him. "I did invite them over for dinner tonight. Maybe I can talk to them then."

I nod. I hope Charlie will be able to figure it out. I think if Bella stopped calling me, there might be a chance that I could begin to move on. I see now that her happiness is more important than anything.

"Well, Jake, it was good seeing you. Say hello to your dad from me when you talk to him, okay?"

"Sure, sure," I say to Charlie, shaking his hand. "Good luck with Bella later."

"Yeah, thanks," he says absently. His mind is elsewhere and I can't blame him. I'm worried about Bella, too – more worried now than I was before I talked to him. "Slow down, now," he admonishes as he gets into the squad car. I nod, slinging my leg over the bike.

I let him pull away first, and slowly leave the lot in the opposite direction. A plan is forming in my head, and it's all I can do to keep the bike under 80. I want to get home just as fast as possible and drop the bike off. I'm going to be at Charlie's tonight, listening to whatever those three say.