Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, but I wish I did!

Summary: Neal's got the shakes. Peter's more than a little concerned. Tag to the season two premiere.

Elizabeth opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of sedatives, hesitating only a moment before crushing three of them and letting the powder dissolve in the water. It was for his own good after all.

Back in the bedroom, Neal composed himself enough to straighten up and dry the tears from his face. He swallowed hard, trying to keep the sudden flare of nausea at bay as the adrenaline finally abated.

"These nightmares…" Peter began. "Are they always this bad?"

Neal dropped his gaze, feeling embarrassed and pulling even further away from his partner now that he was getting his wits back. "Not always. Sorry for waking you."

"Don't be. Feds rarely get to sleep anyways. I think it's part of the job description."

Neal forced out a huff of laughter, humoring his friend.

Peter glanced over at the alarm clock by Neal's bed and sighed. "It is still the middle of the night though."

"I know. You should go back to bed, Peter."

"Not until you do," Peter replied stubbornly.

Neal's eyes widened in fear at the thought. "No. I can't. Not after that."

"You need your rest, Neal. And I need you sharp if you're comin' into the office with me in the morning."

"I'll be fine, I promise. I've done more with less."

"This is non-negotiable. If you don't sleep, I don't sleep."

"Peter, that's ridiculous. There's no reason you can't…"

"You're right. I'd like nothing better than to be asleep in my bed right now next to my beautiful wife."

"So go."

"It's all on you, buddy. Do I get to sleep or not?"

Neal licked his lips, pulling his bottom one into his mouth and biting down on it. Peter could be so frustrating sometimes. There had to be a loophole somewhere… "Fine." He laid back down stiffly against his pillow. "See? I'm going back to sleep. You can go now."

Peter smirked at his friend's childish attempt to thwart his rules. "Not so much. You're still awake."

"I can't fall asleep with you staring at me, Peter. It's… uncomfortable."

"If you could sleep in prison, you can sleep here. Close your eyes."

"I… I can't," Neal admitted softly in defeat. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stared determinedly at the ceiling as he blinked back the moisture that was slowly filling his eyes again.

"Why not?" Peter already knew the answer of course, but the first step in recovery is to admit you have a problem.

Neal lifted his head again to shoot his partner a half-hearted scowl. Was Peter really going to make him say it out loud?

"You know why."

"Tell me anyway."

"Not this game again…" he groaned, feeling his exhaustion tugging at him the more he tried to fight it. Peter had a way of wearing him out with his verbal battles.

"Just say it, Neal."

"Because every time I close my eyes, I watch the love of my life go up in flames, okay? Happy now? Damn it…"

Neal sat back up, tossing the comforter aside and placing his feet flat against the floor. He ran his fingers through his tousled hair, then started wringing his hands in his lap again like he had been doing in Burke's office. It was the only way he could control the shaking.

Peter stayed quiet, watching his friend intently and waiting for him to make the next move. Just as he predicted, Neal broke the silence soon after.

"I can see Kate smiling at me from inside the plane. I can feel the heat from the fire against my skin. I hear the ringing in my ears and… and I think I was screaming. God, Peter… I could smell her burning flesh…"

Neal was wringing his hands so hard now he was leaving red marks across his skin but didn't seem aware of what he was doing. He was too lost in his thoughts.

"Neal, stop." Peter, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, reached across and laid his hand on top of Neal's until they stilled.

When Neal looked up at his partner, there were tears falling down his cheeks again and his wide blue eyes revealed how lost and scared he felt. Peter let out an audible sigh.

"You can't keep doin' this to yourself, buddy. If you continue burning the candle from both ends, you'll run yourself into an early grave. You've got to move on." He held up his hand when Neal started to protest. "I'm not sayin' forget about her or what happened. I'm just sayin' you have to remember to keep living. Kate wouldn't have wanted this for you."

Behind the safety of darkness, Neal let a little more of himself slip out past the mask. Later he would chalk his rare display of openness up to pure exhaustion. "I don't know how much longer I can deal with this, Peter. I keep telling myself, 'Tomorrow will be better. You just have to make it through till then.' But it's been two months already, and it still feels like it just happened yesterday."

"Neal…"

Neal stood abruptly, not interested in hearing Peter make excuses for him anymore. It was time to pull his game face back on. "I'm sorry, Peter, but this was a bad idea."

He started for the door but Peter jumped up and stopped him with a hand to his chest. "Whoa, hang on. Where do you think you're goin'?"

"Back to June's. Just because I can't sleep, it doesn't mean I have to ruin your night too."

"Nice try, but you're not goin' anywhere, Neal."

Neal bristled. "You can't keep me here."

"Actually, I can. I took your anklet off because you're under my supervision. That means you're my responsibility. Don't make me put it back on you again."

Neal shrugged, goading Peter to make a move. "Do what you have to do."

"Damn it, Neal…" It was like talking to a brick wall sometimes.

"Go back to bed, Peter. And tell Elizabeth I'm sorry for keeping you."

El, who had been listening right outside the door, chose that moment to step back into the room before things got out of hand. "No apologies necessary, sweetie. I don't mind sharing him once in a while."

She smiled softly, hoping to put their guest at ease. "Look, there's no sense waking June up in the middle of the night. If Peter promises to stop badgering you, will you reconsider and stay?"

"I wasn't badgering him…" Peter grumbled indignantly, still holding a hand to Neal's chest to prevent him from storming out. "We were just talking, El."

"Well save the talking for tomorrow. You both look exhausted." She pushed her husband's hand down, hoping to make Neal feel less trapped. Then she turned her attention to the younger man who still seemed to be debating on whether he should be leaving or not. El made the decision for him. "Hop back in bed, hunny. We'll leave you in peace."

Neal glanced back at his cold and empty bed and a shiver ran up his spine. "I uh…" Neal cleared his throat as his mouth went completely dry from nerves. "I think I'm gonna stay up for a while longer if that's okay with you, Elizabeth."

Peter was about to start another argument about him needing to sleep but El gripped his forearm and squeezed it hard as a warning. "That's fine, Neal. You take all the time you need. Oh! Here…" She handed him the glass of water. "You sound parched. Drink up. It'll help."

"Thanks." Neal gratefully took the cup and started gulping the liquid down.

El exchanged a meaningful glance with her husband, the two of them having a silent conversation to which Neal was oblivious. Peter got the message that El had tampered with the drink somehow and he set his jaw, keeping silent as he watched his partner unknowingly ingest the concoction.

Neal was halfway through the drink before the funny taste registered. He grimaced. "Think there's somethin' wrong with your tap, Peter. It kind of tastes like…"

He drifted off as his vision swam and he slowly made the connection, then turned back to El with a wide-eyed look of horror on his face, feeling betrayed. "You… You drugged it?"

El smiled sadly at him. "It's for your own good, Neal. Just a mild sedative to help you sleep peacefully. Trust me, you need it."

Neal shook his head, trying to fight the effects of the drug but it was powerful and fast acting. The room started to spin and his tunnel vision upset his stomach once again. He blinked hard, hoping to clear the blackness from the edges of his sight as he stumbled sideways a bit, managing to latch onto the corner of the dresser for stability.

El gently slid the cup out of his hand before he could drop it, and as Neal started to sink towards the floor, Peter swooped in, pulling Neal's arm around his neck and wrapping his own arm around his friend's waist.

"Come on, buddy. Back to bed." He started guiding Neal away from the door. Each step they took, Neal became that much heavier in his arms. It reminded Peter of when Nurse Rachet had drugged him and Peter had had to carry his boneless body through the hallways without being seen.

Neal was far from light thanks to his muscular build and Peter was relieved they only had to go a few steps this time before he was able to carefully lower his partner down onto the mattress.

"Peter…" Neal practically whimpered, clinging to the front of Peter's T-shirt while he still had the strength to do so.

Peter took Neal's hands into his own before pulling a chair up to the side of the bed and making himself comfortable. "I'm not goin' anywhere, Neal. You just rest, and if you start dreamin' again, I'll be right here to wake you up. Promise."

Neal sized him up as though judging whether he'd be up to such a task or not, then apparently decided Peter was worthy of his trust and nodded. His eyelids were getting heavier by the second but he had one last point to make before he gave in to the pills. "You're the only one, Peter…" he whispered, hoping his partner would catch the reference.

"I know, buddy. I won't let you down. Sleep."

"Don' wanna… Kate…" Neal mumbled, then he was out.

Peter glanced up at his wife with surprise on his face. "Damn, hunny. How much did you give him?"

El glanced down at their mutual friend who appeared to finally be sleeping soundly. "Enough," she replied simply and Peter couldn't argue that. He knew it had to be done. He also knew he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep that night. Neal clearly needed it more.

"I'm sorry, El, but…" he gestured to his unconscious friend, letting his wife know he was planning on sitting vigil all night.

She kissed him on the forehead. "I know, babe. I'll go get your pillow."

"Thanks, hun."

El slid quietly from the room and Peter settled back into his chair, making himself comfortable. He may not be able to erase Neal's painful memories, but this…? This he could do.

TBC

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