~Chapter 4~

Boss Fullbright looked his living room over one last time, to ensure everything was ready. The TV was placed so the sun wouldn't dim the screen at any time during the game. The lazy boy chair was placed in the optimum distance. Nachos and ice bucket with root beer was placed within easy reach, and the open patio door ensured comfortable temperatures without draft. Yes, everything was ready. With a sigh he lowered himself into the chair to reap his just reward for having trimmed the hedges all afternoon. And now there was going to be a couple of hours of football, and later Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb were coming over for Maccharoni and cheese and poker night.

He had the house for himself. Molly was out on a ladies night, Paddy and Shaunie were on a play date and Fanny was sleeping over at a friend's house. Boss Fullbright knew that she was really doing secret KND business, but Fanny knew that he knew so that was OK.

It had been a bit of a chock for Boss Fullbright to find out that his darling Fannypants was in fact the notorious Numbuh 86, Global Tactical Officer of those pesky Kids Next Door, but nowadays he kinda felt that he was getting the best of both worlds. Now, whenever he and the other evil adults lost, it still felt like a net score for Team Fullbright.

Oh, yeah, Boss Fullbright thought, and reached out for a cold root beer – life was good.

XXX

Egbert, Barry and Kyle stood outside, flat up against the wall, next to Boss Fullbright's patio door. Having ditched their shoes under a bush, in favor of thick, silent woolen socks, the three boys waited quietly for the game to begin.

The moment Egbert heard the ref's whistle and the accompanying roar of the crowd he signalled to Barry and Kyle to move. Quiet as church-mice with ninja training the three boys slipped through the open door, snuck behind the back of Boss Fullbright's old lazy boy and up the stairs to the first floor, all the way giving silent thanks that the Fullbrights favored thick carpets. Without a sound, they scurried down the corridor and slipped through the door to Boss Fullbright's den-like office. A big mahogany desk and two big leather chairs dominated the room. The walls were covered in books. The place smelled of cigar smoke, wealth and taste.

And in the corner was a large safe with a combination lock.

Barry guarded the door, while Kyle and Egbert silently moved over to the safe. With a concentrated look Egbert took his stethoscope from his pocket. Mr. O'Reilly had bought the stethoscope to his son at a garage sale in the hope that the kid would grow up to be a doctor, and it had quickly become Egbert's most treasured possession, although for quite another reason than his father had imagined. When the tumblers in a combination lock fall into place they give off a faint sound. Enough that a skilled person with a stethoscope can catch the sound and adjust the wheel accordingly.

Egbert O'Reilly was a very skilled person.

After 10 minutes of concentrated work, Egbert removed the stethoscope from the door with a satisfied smile. He allowed himself to enjoy Barry and Kyle's silent admiration for a few moments, before he pressed down the handle. The door opened, revealing piles of officially looking papers, a box of obviously very special cigars – and in the corner, a rolled up maccharoni artwork.

Egbert pulled the artwork out, rolled it open and quickly licked a hair - oh, yeah, this was the real thing. He rolled up the Lisa, and Kyle handed him the papier-mache fake, which he placed in the safe, exactly where the real Lisa had been moments before. "Let Boss Fullbright chew on that", he muttered to Kyle, who gave a nervous nod. He closed the safe, and the three boys quietly snuck out of the office and back down the hallway towards the stairs.

SLAM!

The gang froze as they heard the front door downstairs bang open and the sound of booted feet running.

"IS THAT YOU, FANNY", they heard Mr. Boss shout.

"YEAH!" shouted the terribly well-known voice of Fanny Fullbright. "I FORGOT SOMETHING." She was coming closer.

The gang threw themselves through the nearest door, and stood with bated breath as Fanny's heavy boots started stomping up the stairs. And then they noticed where they were.

The room was packed with Rainbow Monkey things. A large red Rainbow Monkey bed, a yellow Rainbow Monkey chair, a blue Rainbow Monkey clock on the wall, a purple Rainbow monkey dresser and more Rainbow Monkey dolls than you could shake a sharing, caring stick at. A room so girly could only belong to one member of the Fullbright family! And where Fanny Fullbright was going to look for whatever she had forgotten … that question was not hard to answer!

Panic struck! The three gang members started running around, flapping their arms, until Kyle threw himself to the floor and crawled under the bed. He was quickly followed by Eggy and Barry, who just managed to get his foot out of sight, before the door opened.

"There you are!" Fanny shouted, and Egbert, Barry and Kyle's hearts skipped a beat in unison. But then they realized that she was not referring to them, as she stomped through the room making a noise in her throat that was … cute. Peering very carefully out from under the bed, the three boys saw her pick one of the Monkey dolls from the huge pile. "Did you think I was gonna go to Mexico and kick Broccoli Baron butt without Safe Travel Rainbow Monkey" she purred and hugged the doll,"Oh, no I wouldn't. Oh, no I wouldn't"

And then the whole thing got completely nuts. Because Fanny Fullbright, the redheaded terror of Gallagher Elementary, the iron-fisted, bullhorn-voiced second-in-command of the Kids Next Door, the merciless trouncher of teenagers, stupid boys and whoever else would be so unlucky to get on her bad side –

started dancing around with her doll and singing in a loud, clear, girly voice:

Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,
Oh, so very round and super chunky,
Bringing love where ever they go,
Everyone's made of a big rainbow.
Oh, red and orange, and pink and blue,
Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,
We love you!

And then she giggled and threw herself backwards on the bed. The bottom of the bed sunk down and draped itself around Kyles back and the three boys closed their eyes in horror. Fanny had to have felt that through the mattress.

But apparently she didn't, because shortly afterwards, they heard the door close. A few minutes later they dared breathe again and slowly emerged from their hiding place, still a bit incredulous from the experience.

"Whew", Barry sighed. "She … she sings really good."

"I'll never understand girls," Kyle said, "If I live to be a hundred. I'll never understand them."

"Focus, guys, focus," Eggy snapped, "It's almost halftime downstairs, we have to get ready."

Egbert and Kyle hurried out of Fanny's room, and Barry was just about to follow them, when his eyes fell on a picture on the dresser. He went over and picked it up.

Fanny was standing on the patio of her house in a ring of four other girls. It was dusk, an obvious slumber party. In spite of being surrounded by friends (he recognized Kuki Sanban) she looked lost … as if she did not know what to do with friends.

It was really strange, Barry thought, how Fanny could be so sure of herself when taking on teenagers and adult villains and so out on her depth surrounded by friends. How she could be tough as nails in school, and have a room filled with Rainbow Monkeys at home. Strange … but kinda cute.

Wait a minute … that blonde girl in the picture next to Fanny … was that … Holy cow, it was …

"BARRY!" Egbert hissed right next to Barry, who jerked and had to do a very quick and complicated juggling routine not to drop the picture on the floor. "Do you want to read her DIARY too, now you're at it? Get your cruddy butt in gear."

Barry quickly put the picture back on the dresser and followed Eggy out of the room and over to the stairs, just as half-time was announced downstairs.

Egbert peered around the corner of the stairs and saw Boss Fullbright get up and walk purposefully across the living room. He disappeared from view and shortly afterwards, they heard loud splashing from the toilet.

The gang hurried downstairs, tiptoed through the living room and out through the patio door.

XXX

"Holy cow, we're brilliant", Barry laughed as the three gang members paddled away from the Fullbrights house. "You're brilliant, Kyle – and I'm brilliant – and Eggy, you are just eleventy kazillion times brilliant."

"Yeah," Kyle smiled, "now we can hand back the Lisa, and Kuki Sanban won't murder us."

Egbert hit the brakes with a gravel-exploding screech. Barry and Kyle barely managed to swerve around him and stop.

"No! Way!" Egbert exclaimed.

"But … Kuki.." Kyle objected.

"Quiet! We're not scared of Kuki!"

"...We aren't?"

"NO! And we're NOT gonna come crawling to cruddy Sector V and cry mercy as if they were the freaking kings of the world or something. Because I've got a plan!" Egbert said. "Now follow me!"

Egbert set off with a furious pace, before Barry and Kyle had a chance to protest or ask questions. He didn't stop, until a familiar building appeared before the three boys.

"The Macharoni Museum of Art", Barry said redundantly.

"Oh yeah," Egbert said. "Right now the 12 pounds of candy our FRIEND Ben got for the Lisa is in there – in his office on the second floor. We crack the safe, take the candy and leave the real Lisa in Ben's safe. THEN I call Sector V - fake voice of course - and tell them where they can find the Lisa. I'd love hear Ben explain to Hoagie and the others how the Lisa ended up in his safe – and to hear him tell the school bullies that he hasn't got any candy on Monday. Fast ticket to Atomic Wedgie City – with MANY happy returns!"

"That's brilliant, Eggy," Barry exclaimed, "but … how do we get in? Even if the guards are dorks, there's still the alarm."

"Well, the guards are gonna let us in, once Kyle has asked them to."

"What, me?" Kyle said, "…but.."

"But first you need a disguise, of course" Egbert said and pulled a plastic bag from his backpack. "This will fit"

He threw the bag to Kyle, who took one look at the contents and went pale.

"Oh, no, Eggy", he croaked, "Not that!"

Well, well, well - Eggy's got a plan. What can possibly go wrong?

Fanny's Rainbow Monkey filled room is seen at the slumber party in Operation S.L.U.M.B.E.R where the picture on her dresser was taken. As always reviews and comments are welcome. I've had a soft spot for Numbuh 86 ever since that episode (as Barry has observed, she is hiding a lot of insecurity and girly-girlness under her tough exterior, and she never really got her Moment of Awesome in the show)

As always reviews and comments are welcome.