I don't own Alice in Wonderland or any of its characters. Based on the 2010 Tim Burton film.

Rated M for explicit adult content.

I'd like to thank Ngoc Chau for a terrific idea for this chapter!

Too Long Away?

Chapter 4

"Alice! It's Alice!" Thackery screamed, standing atop his chair and tugging at his ears. "Alice is back!"

"Oi! Ye stupid hare, it ain't Alice!" Mally said, popping out of the teapot and landing on a chipped saucer. "It's Alana! How many times do I have to tell ye?"

Chess, who had been napping on the table lazily cracked open an eye.

"The hare is correct, Madame," he drawled. "It's Alice."

"Alice?" Mally cried, squinting towards the edge of the treeline. "Well, it's about bloody time!"

Alice was crying when she reached the tea table.

"About bloody time for what, Mousy, a weeping Champion?"

"Chess, this isn't the time!" Alice said, plunking down on a chair. "I came back here and now it seems that I'm stuck! The Looking Glass wouldn't let me through!"

Mally choked back her surprise and carefully approached the young woman.

"Alice? Didn't you see Tarrant? Isn't everything all right now?"

"All right?" Alice cried, anguished. "Why do you hate me so, Mally?"

The dormouse's eyes widened and she gently touched a paw to Alice's hand.

"I don't hate ye, Alice! I was a little jealous at first, but ye make him happy! And now he's stuck with that...that..."

"Alice Substitute?" Chess volunteered.

"Substitute!" Thackery yelled, jumping up and down.

"Sub...substitute?"Alice asked, dashing away her tears. She had thought she had no tears left to cry, but as she approached her old friends, the bothersome things began again. Her eyelids were so swollen with sobbing that they ached.

"Yeah, substitute!" Mally replied. "Tarrant went into fits of depression and anger after ye left. He got so bad that Mirana decided that she should do something."

"She sent Nivens to the Surface to find a girl who looks like you to take your place," Chess added. "Hasn't Tarrant told you that it was all arranged?"

"I...I didn't speak with Tarrant. He hasn't even seen me."

"Then how did ye find out about her?" Mally asked.

"Well, I came through the Looking Glass in his Work Room and heard him and...her talking in the hallway near the room. I panicked and..." Alice stopped. She really didn't want to tell them what had happened.

"And what?" Mally prompted, gently. She truly felt sorry for Alice and wanted to show her that she was her friend.

"It was obvious that they are a couple and I...hid myself. They never saw me."

Chess chuckled and Thackery cackled.

"So, you got there just in time for their daily...constitutional?" Chess sniggered.

Alice gasped. "What?" How...how could he know?

"You heard me, love," Chess said silkily, languidly stretching out an arm and beginning to lick at it. "You saw them, didn't you?"

"Saw them! Saw them!" Thackery cackled. "Saw them without hats, ye did!"

"You saw them having...relations?" Mally's eyes were so huge that they almost seemed to meet.

Alice hung her head and tears sprang anew.

"All right...yes! I saw them! But I couldn't help it. I was hiding and then I was trapped and couldn't leave without being seen!"

"So, is Tarrant's backside more pale than the rest of him?" Chess teased.

"Pale scut! Pale scut!" Thackery yelled.

"Oi, shut it!" Mally snapped at Thackery. The hare slid back down into his seat and sat wide-eyed, but still grinning.

"Alice," Mally said, "Tarrant doesn't love 'er! He loves ye! But he was so Mad and sad and moody that Queen Mirana...interfered." Mally crossed her arms and huffed in irritation. "She interfered where she shouldnae. Ye hadn't even been gone a year and now she's gone and made Tarrant be with that borin' gal who ain't got the Muchness of a slug."

"Not even a year?" Alice asked, her tears slowly seceding. "In my world I was gone for almost two. I hurried with everything as quickly as I could and came here straightaway."

Chess grinned. "So, Time was kind to Tarrant, but it seems his Queen was not! So, love, tell me about Tarrant's pale backside! Or perhaps Alana's...melons?"

"Oh, shut up!" Alice yelled, surprising everybody. She stood and seized the nearest tea cup and hurled it at the feline. Chess yelped and darted out of the way. "Stop it!" she yelled, throwing another cup. The cat danced aside. "Stop being so utterly horrid!" And a saucer almost hit him this time.

"Wait! Ouch!" Chess cried, a cup striking his back. "I was just..."

"Well, stop it!" Alice screeched, and threw the filled tea pot at him.

Chess vanished before the hot contents could harm him.

"He's...he's..."

"Insufferable?" Mally offered helpfully.

"Yes, insufferable!" Alice agreed through gritted teeth. "This whole thing has broken my heart and all he can do is make it worse? I hate him!"

Chess rematerialized atop Alice's shoulder. "I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't have teased you so badly. You don't really hate me, do you?"

All were taken aback at how distressed the cat sounded. Chess never seemed to care whether anyone liked him or not.

Alice huffed and sat back down. "I don't know," she sighed in resignation. "But I don't like you very much right now."

Chess sighed and tentatively licked Alice's cheek. "I'm sorry, love. Really. Is there anything I can do?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't know. Is there anything anyone can do? I saw Tarrant make love with another woman! He's with her and they are obviously getting along just fine! And besides that, she's prettier than me!"

Alice reached for a scone and took a bite just to keep herself from speaking further. Not only was she heart-sick, but she was jealous of not only Alana having Tarrant, but of herself being less attractive! She was behaving like a spoiled child.

"No, she ain't," Mally said gently and with understanding. "We don't think so, and neither does Tarrant. He thinks yer the prettiest thin' ever! Besides, that dullard wears makeup enough to shame a clown. An' he don't love 'er, Alice! He loves ye!"

"Well, he'd better prove it, and quickly," Chess said softly. "He's coming this way!"

Heads whirled round to see a tall, lean, top-hatted figure in the distance. When Tarrant saw them, he began to run.

"Oh, dear!" Alice cried, standing up so swiftly that Chess fell from her shoulder and had to quickly float to avoid the ground.

"But this is a good thin', right?" Mally asked her desperately. "He wants te talk te ye!"

"I...I can't see him right now much less talk to him!" Alice said, tears coming again, making her angry and frustrated. "He's broken my heart and the last thing I need is for him to be anywhere near me!"

She ran into the windmill house and raced up the stairs. The moment she spotted a bedroom she rushed inside and slammed the door, latching it. She sank to the floor, her back against the closed door, feeling only somewhat reassured by its solidity.

"Don't come in, don't come in, don't come in," she whispered to herself over and over.

But of course he did. She heard heavy footfalls on the stairs. Her breathing almost stopped in dread.

"No, please don't!" she whispered.

But he did. Within moments she felt his towering presence inches away; the only thing separating them was the wood of the door.

"Alice?"

I hope you are enjoying this little piece of angst! All comments welcome.