Chapter Four
Half of year of pain, sorrow and misery.
In that time Lady Caterina had only heard from him once, in one short letter. She snatched it from the tray that the Butler had held out for her, desperate to open it. For one glorious moment her fear had subsided, this letter meant that for the time being he was still with her. She gasped at his once elegant handwriting. It was slanted, shaky. Was he petrified when he was writing this letter, was that what had caused the writing to be so terrible.
He spoke of mundane activities, he couldn't tell her the location for obvious reasons, so instead he told her about the weather, the constant heat that was slowly tanning his skin. He explained that the war was not as bad as they were making out in the papers, obvious propaganda for the ignorant. The sign off was a simple, "I love you and I will see you soon."
There was no mention of leave so Caterina had deduced that "See you soon" was really code for, "See you maybe in another month or two." She did not believe a word of his letter, she refused to accept that the stories of the war was only tales, she had seen the horrific state it had left some of the men in.
Everyday she dreaded sleep; the doctor's had diagnosed Caterina with insomnia. Her mother had requested that Doctor Carter visited her after she had found Caterina manically scrubbing pots in the scullery.
It threw her mother into a tizzy, Lady Rebecca feared the war... but it was for selfish reasons. War meant change that Lady Rebecca was not ready to see, the world was spiralling into anarchy, Caterina was a Lady and a Lady should never scrub a pan, that job was meant only for the lower class. She needed her Manor to remain as it was, she had never really approved of the closeness between employer and mistress.
So instead Caterina busied herself with other activities. She ventured into the library, setting out to read every book in the room. She would read anything to avoid sleep, once she had resorted to reading the dictionary. Sleep meant dreaming, and with a vivid imagination like hers that meant she only pictured nightmares, unimaginable horrors lurked in her mind, so she had to lock them away. Sleep was the key to their getaway.
The first night alone was the hardest, getting into the large, unwelcoming and cold marital bed almost took all of the breath from her lungs. She lay on his side of the bed, clutching his pillow, relishing in the scent that would eventually fade. She had managed to sleep that night, knowing that Robbie still had to train before he would be in any real danger. However it was that night when the dreams had attacked her.
She dreamed of a field, she was a vision in the most intricate red dress she had ever seen, she wore no shoes, the grass tickled her feet as she padded through the poppy field. Plucking one of the flowers as she passed through the field she placed it behind her ear, enjoying the luxurious scent of the flowers and the blissfully unusual heat from the sun. She heard him call her name and she beamed, a melodious laugh escaped her lips as she searched for him. The more she ran she louder his voice got, and suddenly he was there.
Laughing with relief he lurched for her and grabbed her, picking her up she squealed as he held her close. This moment was so perfect that it made her heart swell, she wanted this moment to last, long enough for her to seal it on paper, everything about it was just so beautiful.
Then a feeling made her uneasy, it felt like a pressure on her shoulder, one so cold that it burned her skin. It rushed down her spine as if someone had dribbled water down her back. The sky darkened, a thick smog snuffing out the burning sun. When she looked up at Robbie his appearance had changed. He no longer smiled, his handsome face was covered in scratches and dirt, his green uniform that was coated with mud, he wore a helmet that was dented and scratched. Her heart pounded when she spotted the riffle that was pointed at her chest. The landscape melted around Caterina, the veil of protection surrounding them was destroyed as a shell exploded near them sending mud and debris into the atmosphere. Caterina screamed as the men charged, shattering cries of fear rattled in the distance as the fought the enemy. Her dress began to peel away every time a man fell, the material transforming into a river of blood that soaked her pale skin. She fought her way through the devastation to search for Robbie, he had to be safe, he couldn't die, it was not his time.
Everything slowed, the fire was shot and she screamed, she caught the eye of her killer before the bullet hit her chest. She closed her eyes, waiting for death to claim her, to feel the pain of the wound. Instead she heard the wail of her name, then a screech of pain from someone else. Opening her eyes she saw her husband, his eyes unmoving, his lips blue... cold and lifeless.
Tori had slapped her awake that night, she had to pin her down on the bed to stop her from trembling. From that moment on Caterina tried to avoid sleep, she would only briefly nap each day to keep her going.
Tonight Caterina was leafing through one of the many romantic novels her mother insisted on reading when she heard the grandfather clock sound in the atrium. Her eyes flicked to the small clock upon the mantelpiece, today marked her twentieth birthday. She was no longer a teenager, finally an adult.
Fluttering her eyes shut she silently prayed for Robbie, her birthday wish was solely to get him home safely. It was not fair at all, he should be here, celebrating with her instead of fighting for his life in this god forsaken war.
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Tori discovered Lady Caterina the next day, curled up on the small sofa in the library, her breathing soft as she took her power nap. Tori smiled sympathetically at her friend, she knew exactly what she was experiencing, sleep was difficult for her too, however her everyday duties exhausted her so she had little time to worry.
She had received a letter from Beck also, the staff had all gathered around as she ripped the letter open. She felt her stomach sink as she looked at the card, It was a singled ticked box, "Alive". That was it, that was all she was being told. She needed to know more, what did alive mean, was he injured at all? Later when she had shown it to Cat, she patiently explained to her that because Beck was illiterate they handed out those cards to all the men so they could tell their loved ones the essentials. At least she knew he was alive, and yet, Tori couldn't help but being envious of her best friend who at least had a heartfelt letter from her other half.
Natalie grew every day, at seven months she had a hearty appetite and on one salary it was difficult to keep up with. Caterina had offered to do what she could, keep her in the nursery and give Tori a raise to help with the demands but she had refused. Ever since Lady Rebecca had made that comment about her daughter in the nursery she had not felt comfortable keeping her there, so instead she paid one of the local girls to mind her daughter while she worked to put food on the table. It was a struggle, but she had to make it work.
Her daughter gave her strength, everyday she would return home to her smiling face and she knew that she could stand to work another day.
Setting the tray of food down she approached the sofa and gently shook her awake, "Cat." She murmured, "Happy birthday."
Eyes snapping, the iris' dark black with alert before calming when she spotted Tori, "Did I fall asleep?" She scolded herself, "Damn it, I overslept."
Tori tutted at her friend as she grabbed the tray, "Your mother will be searching for you soon, I assume she thinks you still actually go to bed every night?"
Cat scowled as she stretched, "Frankly Tori, I do not care what my mother thinks. But to keep the peace we should probably go and change."
Tori followed Cat as she rushed up the staircase of Blackwater and back into the bedroom where the two Shapiro's used to sleep in. Stripping Cat of her old dress, she sighed heavily as she forced herself to get under the covers of the bed. Tori handed the tray and she half-heartedly began to eat her breakfast feast. As if on cue Lady Rebecca burst into the room, as usual she was optimistic and bombastic in her demeanour as she kissed her daughters cheek.
"Happy birthday my darling!" she gushed as she perched on the edge of the bed, "You are finally twenty, this will be such an exciting year for you!"
Caterina rolled her eyes at her mother's unawareness, "There is a war on mother." She reminded her, "Although it may not seem like it here. We sit up in this mansion, not helping at all, while men die for us. So I imagine that this will not be an exciting year for us."
"Caterina we do help." Her ladyship attempted to argue, "We keep the town's spirit up by showing them that nothing has changed. A sense of normality is the best medicine that they can receive. Now what are your plans for the day?"
Forcing herself not to slap her mother she smiled, "Lady Jadelyn is arriving at noon, so we are going to go riding then we will have dinner for my birthday."
Her mother beamed, "Splendid! I will ask Mrs. Grey to make your favourite meal in honour of this special day."
"Tori will you take my tray back downstairs."
Tori exited the room swiftly with a curt, "Yes mi'lady."
Caterina yawned dramatically and buried her head in the pillow, "Mother I am still dreadfully tired, I am going to try to sleep more."
Lady Rebecca nodded, "Of course my dear. We will speak later." She promised as she too, exited the room.
As soon as the door closed Caterina pushed the covers from her and scrambled to get out of the bed, she hated being in this bed without him, it felt wrong on so many levels. Pacing the room she waited, like she did every morning for the small ringing of the postman's bike. Biting her nails, she stood by the window as the small figure became more vivid, the small man riding the bike.
She rushed to the door, swinging the door open, she rushed passed Tori on the staircase as she headed for the front door. It was most unorthodox to go outside in your nightgown to greet anyone, but today was important she couldn't wait, she needed to know.
The postman had accidentally dropped his bike when he saw Lady Caterina bolting towards him in only a light nightgown. His palms became clammy, he did not want to be the one to tell her the news.
"Anything?" she demanded breathlessly as she caught up to him.
He shook his head sadly as he handed her the other letters, "I am so sorry Madam."
Caterina's breath caught in her throat making her voice rattle slightly, hiding her disappointment she smiled at the man, "Well thank you for this."
Walking back to the manor, tears rolled down her cheeks and she violently slapped her them away, "Happy birthday to me." she said bitterly.
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Lady Jadelyn felt conflicted, she hated being away from London for long periods of time and this war was just ruining all of her fun. For one thing it was taking away all the desirable men in the country! Everyday another man or one of her servants was called off to the awful war, she had heard about the sudden death of many of the men she had known from home, they were all good men. None of them had deserved the cruel hand the Lord had dealt them.
Another aspect that he hated about the war was the suffocating nature of her parents, her mother and father had both insisted that they escorted Jadelyn to Yorkshire. Her father had not asked back to fight in this war, much to his disappointment. So he insisted on constantly wearing a uniform about the house to honour the men abroad.
Leaving Emerson Estate, the pebbles cracked under her feet as she made her way over to the garage to find her new chauffeur, a Mr. Flynn. Charleston had been called to the front so they had to search for another and this quirky Irishman seemed to fit the bill. Lurking by the garage door she lifted the hem of her dress. Staring down at the legs that were sticking out from the beneath the car she loudly cleared her throat. He was singing loudly, some song about a man named, "Danny boy."
Rolling her eyes she stalked over to the car and crouched down, "Flynn!" she shouted.
There was a thump and the man cursed loudly, Jadelyn smiled gleefully at his pain. She had put up with him for three months, he was unlike the other staff, instead of just driving her wherever she desired he insisted on asking her questions, it was vexing.
"Ah mi'lady!" he cried, as he shuffled out from under the car, his face covered with oil, "I did not hear you."
"Clearly." Jadelyn starkly replied as she rose back up, "I need you to take me to Lady Caterina's now."
Grabbing a cloth he began to rub his face clean, "I'll need a minute to clean up."
Lady Jadelyn sighed in annoyance, "Fine, but I am already running late."
Hanging around the garage she picked up a wrench and stared at it curiously, "What were you even doing?" she demanded.
He laughed as he removed his overalls to reveal the green chauffeur's uniform he was told to wear. "I was tightening the bolts under the car so the wheels will not fall off. You sort of need them, so you know, the car will move."
Jadelyn sneered at Flynn as she clenched the wrench tighter, one hit. That's all it would take and the annoying man would be history.
"I understand." She replied hotly, "I know the mechanism of a car."
He grinned cockily at her and he closed the bonnet, "I bet you couldn't make it move."
Slamming the wrench back down on the workbench she strode over to the door and hopped into the driver seat, "I imagine I could, easily."
She stared at the pedals; her hands traced the wheel lightly. Pushing her foot down on one of the pedals she scowled when nothing happened, her anger growing as the chauffeur snorted at her.
"You need to press the ignition milady." He informed her as he jumped into the passenger seat.
"Oh be quiet" she ordered as she turned the key, "Now what do I do?"
He smiled at her as he pointed towards the nearest pedal to him, "Press down on that lightly and the car will begin to hum, then move the stick and drive."
Jadelyn complied and the car chugged forward, she smiled gleefully as she narrowly avoided one of the trees by the path, "I knew how to do this." She told him, "I was just making sure."
Flynn gripped the side of the car, his brilliant plan now seeming idiotic. He had giving a wild woman power to a machine, "I knew that milady." He said as she flew through the gates of Emerson, hurtling towards Lady Caterina's manor.
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"I just feel so utterly useless!" Caterina complained to Jadelyn as they rode through the town.
It had been a horrible birthday for the small girl, the only thing that had cheered her up slightly was Lady Jadelyn's terrible driving, coming up to Blackwater she had started and stopped so many times that it took a nearly ten minutes until she reached the top. Yet she had still triumphantly emerged from the car that her cousin had given her, with a slightly green-faced chauffeur.
Lady Jadelyn trotted alongside Caterina, "Well then do something to change it." She replied as if it was the simplest explanation in the world.
"Like what?" she demanded, "What can I do that would be any help. I have no skills Jade, I am just a foolish high-class girl and I still feel like a child despite my age."
Jadelyn frowned at her friend, "Now you know that is not true, you are an amazing painter, you have a good enough voice and you are determined. You just need to heighten the skills that you already have."
Caterina didn't reply to Jadelyn, instead she surged Peppermint on through the town of Yorkshire, passing one of the many walls that were plastered with signs, bulletins and papers. Caterina spotted one she had not noticed before, there was a woman in the picture, she was helping a battered solider. But she seemed pleased to do it, she had a purpose.
That's what Caterina needed; purpose.
Jadelyn spotted her staring at the sign and smiled, "That could work."
"Come on." Caterina ordered Jadelyn, "I want to go see Dr. Carter."
"Alright Nurse Shapiro, let's get going."
Hey guys! I am back after my break :D
Was going to update yesterday but I just couldn't find the energy!
But there we go anyway a new chapter.
I had to do a bit of research on this and to answer some queries you may have thought of. Not all of the men went to war, some tried to enlist but because of medical conditions could not, some where too afraid. So to an extent england didn't lose its entire male population.
Secondly I did do some research on letters and found that the men were allowed to write them but they had to basically lie in them, so they wouldn't worry anyone at home. Anyone who couldn't write was given boxes to tick.
I think its all pretty interesting :P Which is surprising because I wasnt the biggest fan of history in school!
Anyway leave a wee review of what you think will happen and we will see if you are correct! :P
Next chapter will probably be have Robbie actually in it.. so yeah :D
xoxoxo