After the exceedingly awkward dinner conversation, both Derek and I shoved the macaroni into our mouths before bolting upstairs, separately of course. Nora and George didn't bother asking questions, in fact, they both seemed pretty stunned. I was afraid of that.

As soon as I was in the confines of my room, I turned on my stereo, low volume, and decided to take out a book and read. I had to get my mind off of the dinner conversation, and, most of all, Derek and I holding hands. The image was set in stone in my mind. It hurt to think of it, but I couldn't stop. I tried to focus on the words in my book, but the black ink letters seemed to be jumping off the pages. I couldn't follow it at all. Restlessly, I placed the book on my nightstand and stood, unable to keep away from Derek for so long. Just as I was about to open my bedroom door, a knock came upon it. I was startled.

"Uh, who is it?" I asked anxiously.

"Derek." Right on cue. "Can I come in?" He asked. Gulping, I yanked at the knob and let him inside. He looked a bit disheveled, with his chocolate hair ruffled and deep eyes concentrated on thoughts that were unknown to me.

"Yes?" I whispered quietly, not sure if we should let Nora and George know that we were conversing. He turned to me, looking a little peculiar, and took a few steps toward me. He grabbed my shoulders uneasily and looked me in the eye.

"That… that meant nothing, right?" He asked, stumbling on his words a little.

"What?"

"Last night. It meant nothing, yes?" He asked once again, a little clearer this time. He seemed hopeful, and I was crushed.

"Right…" I tried to sound convincing but that wasn't really the case. What was I supposed to say to that? He gave me a somewhat incredulous look before leaving without a word.

As soon as his hands left my shoulders, I felt empty.

"You're pathetic, Casey," I told myself in a quiet tone, so he wouldn't hear. A tear popped out of my eye and rolled down my cheek hurriedly. I wiped it with a sigh and decided a much needed shower was next on my agenda. I gathered my towel and robe and dashed to the bathroom, making sure not to make a noise.

The hot water was soothing in a way, but not completely. My mind was still reeling with thoughts.

"Of course he doesn't feel the same way," I whispered to myself. I felt so stupid for feeling the way that I did. How could my own stepbrother have feelings for me? I must be some kind of pitiful freak, or something. So from then on, I would try my hardest to stay away from him. I knew that would be hard, but I was dreaming an impossible dream. Step siblings or not, we were still related, and I had to accept it. Somehow.

As soon as I was done with my steaming shower, I wrapped myself in my robe and decided I would jumpstart on my Monday homework. Hoping it would get everything off of my mind, I took out a newly sharpened pencil and my French workbook.

The next few days were hard to live through, but I survived. Barely. I was just happy that Derek seemed to be doing the same thing. We were hardly in the same room together, unless we were with other family members. All the while, though, he seemed to stare at me a lot. I tried not to notice, but it was almost impossible. His eyes pierced like daggers. The thing that bothered me the most, though, was the fact that I couldn't read his expression. It looked a little confused, mixed with anger and despair. I couldn't stare for too long, it frightened me.

Finally, on one rainy Saturday night, he approached me. Everyone was seemingly asleep, but I couldn't seem to keep my eyes shut. I wandered downstairs for a glass of water when I realized that it was raining. I sat by a window, sipping my water, and looking at the rain. It always calmed me. I hoped that soon I would be tired enough to fall asleep. And that's when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Case?" I perceived Derek's voice behind me, and his hand on my shoulder. I shivered. He came and stood next to me, watching the raindrops patter on the windowpane. His hand dropped from my shoulder. I sipped my water quietly.

"Why are you up?" He asked, facing towards me slightly.

"I could ask you the same thing." I replied, sounding somewhat bitter. I took another gulp of water, trying to replenish my dry throat.

"Never mind that." He sighed, and continued, "It looks nice outside." I nodded, my eyes fixed on the droplets.

"Listen," Now he was faced towards me completely, "What has been up with you lately?" I was a little surprised at his upright honesty, but I didn't let that show for a second.

"What do you mean?" I tried to play stupid, but it didn't really work for me.

"I mean, we haven't talked in basically a week," He looked like he was going to say more, but he didn't. His tone of voice was very off, it worried me a little, because I had never seen him so vulnerable. The butterflies in my stomach were bouncing off the walls, literally, and there was a large lump in my throat I couldn't swallow.

"And?" I choked out, wishing he would specify.

"I don't know; it just worries me, that's all. I was actually beginning to think that we were…" He took a pause, "Friends." I was taken aback. I tried to jumble some words up in my head but I couldn't. Instead, I took another mouthful of water.

"If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. I just wanted to know why," He sighed, and turned to leave.

"Wait," I croaked, turning to face him for the first time that night. He stopped in mid-step, and rotated in my direction.

"Yes?"

Was I about to say it?

"You hurt me, in a way. Or maybe, I hurt myself. I don't know, I just know that I had to try to ignore you." I spat my words out fast. He looked at me, clearly perplexed, and tried to make sense of what I was saying.

"Wait, what do you mean? How did I hurt you?"

I sighed, and turned away from him once more to sip my water and peered out the window again. I couldn't look him in the eye when I said this.

"The conversation we had. In my room." I sighed and watched a droplet on the window glass zig zag its way to the pane. My hot breath against the cool surface created a fog spot, but it quickly dissolved.

"How did I hurt you?" He asked. I looked up at him expectantly because I could tell he already knew the answer to that question. I didn't want him to bring me to say it, though. I felt disgraceful enough; I didn't want to humiliate myself even more.

"You mean…" The truth dawned on him. I could feel a blush creep onto my cheeks; thank God it was dark. Without warning, he stepped towards me and cupped my cheek in his hand lovingly. His hands were cold against my heated cheek, but soft all the same. He placed a kiss on my lips, short, but passionate. My breath caught in my throat like a fly on a spider's web, and my eyes were wide as saucers when he pulled away.

"I…" He looked stunned at his own actions, as if someone has just taken over his body. Not daring to look me straight in the eye, he backed away slowly. I wished he hadn't.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." With that, he turned towards the steps and dashed up them in seconds, leaving me bewildered and lonely once again. For a minute or so, I couldn't move at all. And then, I burst into tears.

The next morning, I awoke on the couch, hugging a pillow, with mascara running down my face.

"Casey, honey?" My mom was shaking me awake with her gentle hand. My eyes fluttered open unwillingly, and I was looking straight into my mother's worried face.

"You look awful, dear. Are you all right?" She asked, putting a hand to my forehead. I frowned a little, brushing her off lightly.

"I'm fine, thank you." I assured her. Almost suddenly, the smell of fresh pancakes and sausage filled my nostrils.

"Mmm, are you cooking breakfast?" I asked, my eyes still closed in delight.

"Yes, it's just about ready." She bustled to the kitchen, pouring orange juice for the family and setting plates. I sat up, yawning quietly, and decided I should wipe the horrid makeup off of my face.

Minutes later, the rest of the clan came stumbling down the stairs, still half-asleep with their pajamas on. The last one to arrive was Derek, but he didn't follow the trend of our younger family members. He seemed wide-awake, small circles forming under those gorgeous eyes, and a solemn look on his face. I gulped. When we were all settled in our chairs, we dug in as soon as the food was set on the table. I barely bothered to look up, because I already knew Derek was staring at me.

"May I be excused?" I asked nervously after all of my food was gone. But I didn't even wait for my mother's answer; I was already up the stairs bursting into my room. If I ever saw Derek again, I swear it would be the death of me. Just as I thought this, a knock on the door came.

"Casey?"

Speak of the devil.

At first I didn't respond, but then the thick silence was extremely uncomfortable.

"Come in." My voice was flat and dull, but he didn't even seem to notice. He entered the room, but tried to keep as much distance as possible.

"We need to talk. About last night." I was very surprised at his confidence to outright talk about the situation. The normal Derek would run away from his problems until there was nowhere to run.

"Okay. What about it?" I asked. The nerves in my system caused my voice to sound an octave higher. Talk about embarrassing.

"I just… I didn't mean to do that. It was a stupid move, I'm sorry." He sounded very jittery, and his words could barely even form themselves.

"If you didn't mean to do that, then why did you?"

He scratched the back of his head thoughtfully, trying to think of an answer.

"I don't know, I guess I kind of wanted to. But it's wrong; we shouldn't do this at all. I don't know what came over me." He ran his hand through his hair multiple times, and then began to crack his knuckles to keep his hands busy. He was obviously tense.

"You're right, it is wrong. I guess we should… try to ignore the feeling? It might be the only answer." I spoke regretfully. I wanted nothing more than to just fall into his arms and stay there. But it was immoral! Our parents would hate us, our siblings too. He nodded gravely, agreeing with my statement. And with that, he was out the door before I could blink.

I shook my head, trying to free myself of this awful flashback. I was still on the bathroom floor, tracing the paisley tile pattern with my finger unknowingly, wishing I could just shut my eyes and sleep without seeing Derek's face. Restlessly, I stood and went to the kitchen to make myself some hot cocoa. As I stirred the chocolaty beverage around and around, I remembered the picture I kept in the cleaning cupboard.

I stood from the table and crouched under the sink, and then opened the cupboard door carefully so it wouldn't creak. Inside were dozens of Windex bottles and Pledge cans, but behind all of that on the dusty floor of the cupboard was a picture. I placed it in here because I knew Mark would never think to clean, and even if he did, it was far enough back that he would never know. I pulled it out and glanced at it wistfully, and then closed the cupboard and set the picture on the kitchen table.

Resting my head on my hands, I observed the picture. It was the whole family, during the summer of our senior year. Lizzie and Edwin were in the front, Nora and George stood to the side behind the two teens, and Derek and I stood in the middle. Marti was gleefully sitting on Derek's rugged shoulders. We all looked so happy and carefree, with bright smiles on our faces.

I remember the day we took that picture, too. Nora had insisted we get Emily to come take the photo, "our last documented memory together," as she put it. She had figured that since Derek and I were going off to college, she better capture the moment now before sending us off. The picture was quite difficult to take. We were all standing in the living room, trying to find spots to stand so we weren't blocking anyone. That was the trouble with a big family. As soon as we got in our places, we had to take at least 10 pictures before we got it perfect. In one shot, Marti was pulling Derek's hair, causing a look of pain on his face. In another, Edwin had slightly pushed Lizzie, causing her to fall over. It was a grueling process, but the final product was good.

The thing I loved the most about this picture, though, was that Derek's eyes weren't on the camera. They were on me.

A/N: Happy for the quick update, huh? Thank you guys SO MUCH for the reviews! I'm glad you guys want to know what happens. Well, I've got some surprises in store for you so keep reading!