Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author Note: Just a heads up, from now on I'll try to update on Monday-Wednesday-Friday or something like that. I want to complete this before Lady Midnight comes out!

Why don't you go to Magnus tonight? You can try an all men evening, gossipping about the Downworld and watching weird crime movies. And if Alec complains when he comes back, tell him I didn't want you around tonight and entertain him with some more gossip. I'm sure he'll love it.

Isabelle and Simon had a weird way of communicating sometimes, cryptic messages nobody would understand, themselves included at times. But when she sent him away that evening, Simon knew exactly what she wanted.

As he knocked on Magnus door, he mentally replayed everything he heard that evening. Isabelle wanted him to talk to Magnus and Alec, to explain what happened. Despite being Alec's boyfriend, Magnus still was the High Warlock of Brooklyn and he probably had access to a lot more informations about the Downworld than the Nephilim. Maybe he heard something about what was going on with the fairies.

The door opened and the cat like eyes of Magnus widened in mild surprise. "Seamus? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Simon rolled his eyes, looking at the warlock. He was wearing comfortable pants and a red shirt and he had a chinese noodles cup in his hands. You could hear the TV in the background, Magnus was obviously having dinner. "Again with the name joke, Magnus? Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"My guilty pleasure." The warlock winked at him and moved back so Simon could get in the apartment. The Shadowhunter walked in, thinking about how much things changed through the years. Magnus' loft wasn't like it used to be when they first met: now it was more colourful, the walls filled with framed childish drawings of beaches, suns and Magnus and Alec holding hands with a blue skinned little boy.

"Ah." Simon muttered suddenly remembering why the house was so quiet. "Max left yesterday with Catarina, right?"

The silence wasn't the only giveaway for the absence of little Max Lightwood, the baby warlock Alec and Magnus adopted years ago. The loft was tidy and there were no toys scattered around: when Max was home, the floor was a minefield.

"Yes, he's away for a week. Catarina will go crazy but it was her idea after all." He smiled but his eyes were telling a different story. As much as he trusted the other warlock, Magnus missed his son and was worried. "Anyway she called an hour ago and Max was all excited about being in Disneyworld. She'll have to drag him away kicking and screaming when it's time to leave!"

Simon laughed thinking fondly about the baby warlock and the note they found with him when he was abandoned. "Who could ever love it?" it said. Well, someone could: his parents, his grandparents, his friends—he was surrounded by love, the purest, brightest kind of love, and he would always be.

"Anyway," Magnus said stirring his noodles, "Alec isn't home tonight. He's out with Jace."

"I know." Simon turned to him, running a hand through his hair. "I came to talk to you first."

"Without sweet Isabelle?" Magnus headed to his couch and turned off the TV. "If you're here to get some advice on how to escape your impending wedding, you knocked on the wrong door. No way I'm crossing Isabelle Lightwood by helping her fiancè to run."

Simon blushed and looked uncomfortable. "I'm not going to run! Remember it's me that proposed to her, not the other way around. And remember Jace and Clary don't know yet, so keep quiet about it."

"Sometimes I wonder when you will decide to tell them. Are you waiting for your lovely bride-to-be to appear in her beautiful golden gown?"

"It's not that easy." Simon sat down on a chair, crossing his legs. "Izzy isn't comfortable with telling them yet. She's scared to hurt them, she thinks that a wedding now, when they're both still suffering about their break up would just enhance the pain."

"Or maybe Clary would just be happy her parabatai got the girl and Jace would be happy someone is patient enough to put up with his sister." Magnus was talking while eating his noodles, shaking his head. "Anyway. What do you want Simon? I was watching TV."

Simon took a deep breath. "Something happened tonight. I still don't believe it but Isabelle wants me to tell you and Alec. Maybe you'll be able to make some sense out of it because I most certainly can't."

As he was talking Magnus didn't say a word, just listening and when the Shadowhunter finished, he crossed his legs and rubbed his chin. "So let me summarise: one of our Dark War Heroes, possibly the most important Shadowhunter you have at the moment, is spying for the Fair Folk who is probably plotting a revenge against the Clave for punishing them after the war. Interesting."

"And I guess nothing ever transpired in the Downworld, right?"

"I very much doubt so." Magnus leaned back on his couch. "The fairies are a secretive people. If they're preparing for war it's unlikely they go around telling anyone about it. Not to mention that they were forbidden to have an army when the peace treaty was signed. They are obviously doing everything in secrecy."

"The peace treaty." Simon sighed. "It certainly was a mistake, was it? I wasn't there but from what I heard it was nothing but crushing the Fair Folk for good."

"Nobody listened when I said this would bring nothing but more pain. The Nephilim were never known for their mercy, especially toward Downworlders."

"Do you think you could get some informations?" Simon asked after a moment of silence.

"I can try. But having a Shadowhunter as my boyfriend cut me out a bit from the gossip. Everyone is afraid I'll go tell the Nephilim."

"Damn." Simon sighed, his head in his hands. "I just can't understand why Clary. Why choosing her and why she's doing it. It makes no sense!"

"The answer is easy enough." Magnus looked at the Shadowhunter. "They have some kind of leverage on her. Something she wants. Or maybe, and more probably, they are threatening someone she loves."

Simon nodded. "That's what I thought as well. Clary is betraying the Clave, she'll be stripped of her Marks if they find out. It can't be her family because they are back in Idris and I don't think they can be hurt there. Too many Nephilim eyes. So that leaves... us."

"So some of us, or maybe all of us have a death sentence from the Seelie Queen. That's wonderful." Magnus shook his head. "I'm suddenly glad Max isn't here, though I hope they wouldn't dare to touch him. It must be something more though. I mean, if it's true, they're threatening four Shadowhunters and the High Warlock of Brooklyn. They must have a hell of a plan to scare Clary to the point she would spy for them to save us."

"Actually," Simon hesitated suddenly realising something, "maybe it's easier than it sounds. Jiliel is Clary's contact. And Kaelie is Jiliel's sister."

The warlock completed the thought. "And Kaelie is close to Jace right now."

"It all points to Jace, right? What better way to threaten Clary? It actually makes sense with the timing as well: Clary broke up with him almost six months ago, shortly after Will's death. And Jiliel said she's been their informant since the past few months. She must have left Jace to keep him away from her, so he wouldn't know what she was doing."

"And then Kaelie came into the picture to nurse his broken heart. And to pierce it with a blade should Clary misbehave." Magnus was shaking his head though. "It still doesn't make sense. First of all they couldn't be sure Jace would begin a relationship with Kaelie. And second, we're talking about Jace Herondale. Do you really think a fairy like Kaelie Whitewillow would ever be in the position of hurting him? Even if she tried to kill him while he's sleeping? Or that any fairy could, for what matters? Jace is the best Shadowhunter ever existed, he's certainly not a child that could—."

As Magnus went on talking, Simon stopped listening, his mind focusing on a thought that kept eluding him. What was that? He knew it was important. He felt it. It was on the tip of his tongue and yet he couldn't place it. He focused on the second he felt that sudden eureka moment and retraced his mental processes: Magnus had said that it was unlikely someone could really threaten Jace because Jace…

"Oh God, Magnus..." Simon interrupted him, suddenly pale, like he was about to get sick. A child, Magnus said. Jace was not a child. But someone else was. Someone else had been a child.

The warlock looked at him raising his eyebrows. "Well, thank you, but I'm not really a God—"

"Will. It all started with William!" Simon was almost frantic now. "We never found out what Will's sickness was. We tried everything we could, you tried magic, we called the Silent Brothers, Alec even asked Lily and Maya and neither the vampires nor the werewolves could do anything... we never found a cure for his illness."

Magnus paled as well, suddenly standing up. "You think it was the fairies? That they somehow caused..." He said no more turning around and almost running to his library. "Help me out. What were the symptoms?"

"Fever. Convulsions. Vomit. Clary said he got weaker and weaker until a convulsion made his heart stop beating." Simon tried to relate it all without emotions but on the last bit his voice broke like he was about to cry.

Magnus shot him a sympathetic look while still looking at his books. "Got it," he said pulling one out. "I never thought about the fairies, I never thought it could be—I mean, William wasn't even two years old!" He was turning page after page and then he stopped. When he raised his eyes again it looked like he was ready to be sick along with Simon.

"Poison. It was poison." He whispered, handing the book to the Shadowhunter.

"Kohl," Simon read, looking at the picture of a short, brown leaf. "Rare plant only growing in the fairy kingdom. It's used to prepare the Kohl poison. The Kohl poison must be injected under the skin to take effect and it's typically shot with a blowpipe. The symptoms manifest three days after the injections and are: high fever, vomit, convulsions. The convulsions are the final stage and they increase in duration and occurrence until the heart stop beating. The only antidote is the same Kohl plant, boiled and filtered and administrated as an infusion. The antidote has a temporary effect only and needs to be drank daily and every day for it to have proper effect in defeating the poison. Even though its effect isn't permanent, the antidote immediately offers relief from the symptoms allowing the poisoned person to regain strength. There is no known permanent antidote, as of now."

A thick silence fell on the room until Simon whispered, his hands shaking and barely holding the book. "They killed a child. They killed an innocent, defenceless child."

"And then they threatened Clary to do the same with Jace. Or with all of us, for all we know."

"Clary left Jace to protect him." Simon realised. "If he ever found out why their child died, he would have started a war all by himself making it his life mission to kill the Seelie Queen. And that's why she left the Institute as well. She didn't want us knowing she was being blackmailed into spying for her son's murderer. Oh God, my Clary—we have to tell Jace, we have to stop this."

"That's a bad idea." Magnus slowly sat down again. "Jace would go crazy, like you said. Not only his son died, but his wife is being blackmailed and from what you told me, raped on regular basis by a fairy. We need to know more before we can tell him. We need to uncover the Fair Folk plan, find out how to stop it without getting killed. If they are using this type of poison, they can strike anywhere, every time we're out in the open and we have no way of preventing it. The only place where we would maybe be safe in is Idris, right now. And that's exactly where I'm telling Catarina to bring my son. Like, right now. If the fairies did that to Will, it means they won't really stop at nothing."

He took out his phone still listening to Simon while dialling.

"What if we exposed the truth about Will's death to the Clave? He was only a child, but he was a Shadowhunter and he was murdered by the fey." Simon now was walking around, opening and closing his fists. He was furious.

"He was killed using fairy poison," Magnus corrected him. "We can't prove they were the ones who used it. They could have sold it to anybody, at any time. We can't accuse the fey without accusing Clary as well as consequence: her betrayal is what would prove the truth about William, but then she would die."

"Damn it!" Simon shouted, frustrated. "There must be something we can do! I can't let that filthy—dirty—I can't let him hurt her again!"

"Tell her about the wedding." Magnus suggested. "Tell her and then have Isabelle beg for help. Make it look like she needs help to set everything up, that she needs Clary day and night until it's all ready. That way at least we can cut the time she spends with Jiliel. We can do nothing about the spying though."

"Keeping her away from that fey will do for now. I can't stand the thought of him touching her ever again. I'll kill him I swear."

"Take a number." Magnus darkly said. "You'll have the queue for that."

It was cold that night, but it was December so it had to be expected. Even the heating rune could only do so much but as he was running, Jace barely noticed the cold. His seraph blade was shining in his hand and the witchlight Alec carried was lightning up the way. The Eidolon demon just turned around the corner but the ichor trail he was leaving behind perfectly showed the two Shadowhunters where to go. Alec's arrow was still pierced in the demon leg, slowing him down to the point that Jace easily reached up from behind and cleanly slit his throat. Seconds later nothing remained, just the two boys, alone in the dark alley.

"Well, at least we didn't stay out for nothing tonight." Jace commented. "It's damn cold and we've been running around for hours to find the bastard."

"Turning into a granny, Jace?" Alec grinned, his hands still holding the bow. "Do you need the hot water bottle? Or do you prefer me to cuddle you?"

Ah yes, the new Alec, Jace thought, fondly looking at his parabatai. Being with Magnus for so long brought out a side of Alec nobody ever saw, the playful, joyful side. Alec could joke around now, laugh, smile—and the shadow of all those years spent denying himself the happiness he deserved and thinking he was in love with Jace, were behind him now. And then there was Max: being a parent really changed his brother and for the best.

"I knew you would cave in sooner or later. Who can resist all of this, after all?" Jace laughed, pointing at himself. "Let's run away together and live our forbidden love, in a place where nobody will find us!"

"Nobody better do because Magnus would turn you into a hatstand for the rest of your life!"

"And Kaelie would tear you to pieces with her teeth."

Alec's smile faltered at the mention of the fairy and he looked at Jace suddenly serious.

"Oh no, not that face again." Jace whined, rolling his eyes. "We're not having this conversation Alec."

"Yes we are. You still owe me one after that wake up call about Magnus in Alicante, do you remember?" Alec started walking alongside Jace, the two glamoured Shadowhunters gracefully strolling on the road.

"Well, I don't need any wake up calls. I'm perfectly fine."

"Please," Alec snorted. "You can fool Isabelle maybe, but you can't fool me. I know you better than yourself sometimes."

"Apparently this is not one of those times." Jace's voice was turning cold but Alec wasn't going to stop.

"You don't love her. I can understand her being a sort of distraction after all that happened but why are you even thinking about moving in with her?"

"What makes you believe I don't love her? She's a nice girl."

Alec shot him a knowing glance and Jace rolled his eyes again. "Ok, fine, maybe I don't. But I still need to be with her." He paused biting his lip as if he just said something he wasn't planning to and then he continued. "And anyway what should I do? Mope around for the rest of my life?"

"You know what you should do, Jace." Alec's voice was firm but his eyes were gentle as they looked at his brother.

Jace's face turned to stone. "I can't. And nothing can change that."

"You know, talking to you and Clary is damn frustrating." Alec threw his hands in the air. "You're both unbelievably set on suffering forever."

"Leave Clary alone." Jace grabbed his parabatai arm, a dangerous look now in his eyes. "She's been through enough and this has nothing to do with any of you, so just let it go. And me as well."

"Jace—"

"I'm going home. Bye Alec."

He strolled off as fast as he could, a bitter feeling in his mouth. Yes, Alec was right, he knew what he was supposed to do in his friends eyes. And there were very few things that he wanted more than having Clary back with him. But he couldn't. Not in this life. They were both condemned to suffer, to be punished for even trying to be happy. It was how it was going to be and nobody could do anything about it.

The Institute was full of memories, he thought when he entered it. He couldn't blame Clary for leaving and even though his reasons for considering moving out were different from hers, he admitted the memories played a big part in it. Every corner, every corridor made him remember a life that was no longer his. Every kiss, every laughter, carved in his heart. And William. His first steps, his smiles, his toys scattered everywhere. Jace pushed down the sudden lump in his throat and headed to his room but stopped near Isabelle's as he heard a sound he thought he would never hear again: Clary's voice, Clary's laughter. She was in there with Izzy.

His heart skipped a beat and he stopped moving as if he was suddenly glued to the ground. What was she doing there? So late at night? Why was she there?

As the laughters kept going, he flattened against the wall. By the Angel, how much he missed that sound. How much he missed her. He closed his eyes pretending he was in another place, in another time and he let Clary's laughter guide him to a happy memory: suddenly he was projected on the last summer they spent all together. He was back in the park, William's laughter in his ears as he was running on the grass on his short legs, chasing Clary who was pretending to run away from him. The little kid was then suddenly in the air in his arms and they were playing airplane. William was still laughing opening his arms in the wind, his blond curls all over his face.

"Izzy, it's time to sleep, you know?" Clary's voice interrupted his fantasy and he hastily dried the tear that was running down his left cheek. "Is my old, single, room still available?"

Jace's heart skipped another beat and he lightly walked to his own room, careful not to be heard. Clary would be sleeping there, in the Institute. She wasn't going home. She would be there, just a few doors down the corridor. So close. So damn close.

He got into his room and he leaned against the door, his hands closed in fists at his sides. He heard Izzy's door open and close and then Clary's light footsteps approaching. His heartbeat increased to the point he felt his heart was about to burst out of his body and he bit his lip making it almost bleed.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

He kept chanting those words to himself again and again but when Clary passed his door heading to her own room, his mind went blank and pure instinct took over. He suddenly opened his door, grabbed Clary's arm and yanked her inside. Before she could utter a single word he kicked the door closed again, threw her against it and kissed her, grabbing her hands and pinning them over her head. His body pressed her against the door, keeping her in place as his lips claimed her mouth with despair, longing, lust. Clary reacted instantly, at first kicking his legs, then trying to get free from his hands but when she felt his tongue brush her lips all her resolve suddenly faded and she found herself kissing him back with the same fervour.

Jace released her hands and descended on her neck almost devouring her, wrapping his arms on her waist and pressing her to him so hard she felt they were merging together.

"Jace—Jace please—" she whispered trying to stop him but unaware that her own hands were now grabbing his shoulders, keeping him as close to her as possible.

"I miss you. I miss you so much." He groaned between the kisses, his hands sliding underneath her shirt, touching the bare skin of her back. She shivered, a moan escaping her lips but when her shirt fell on the floor and Jace's hands cupped her breast, the dark images of Jiliel undressing her, hurting her, forcing her, took over and she pushed Jace away, gasping a strangled denial, feeling tears stinging her eyes.

Jace looked at her with surprise but when he saw her face the surprise quickly gave way to concern.

"Clary?" he asked uncertain.

"We can't—" she whispered, recovering her shirt and putting it back on, trying to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I miss you so much but we can't."

He said nothing for a few moments then he caressed her hair, leaning down so their forehead would touch. "I feel like dying Clary. I don't know how much longer I can go on living like this."

"We have to. There's no other way." Her eyes were closed, tears silently falling down.

Jace sighed, trying to calm his heart down and then hugged her fiercely, burying his face in her red curls. "Tell me you love me Clary. Tell me this is killing you as much as it's killing me. I need to hear you love me."

"I love you more than anyone can know," she sobbed in his arms, "there's not a day that I don't think about you, that I don't long for you. I miss you so much, Jace, I miss everything so much."

"Then stay with me tonight." He whispered in her hair. "Nobody has to know. Jiliel won't know, Kaelie won't know, everybody thinks I'm with Alec tonight. Stay Clary, I need you."

She shook her head, still sobbing. "We can't, Jace. I can't."

He strengthened his hold on her but she disentangled from his arms and turned around, her hands closed in fists.

"Clary—"

"No, you don't understand." She was shaking now. "I want to, God knows I do—but I can't."

Something in the quiet hopelessness in her voice made him frown and then his eyes widened. Jace turned her around, his hands on her shoulder.

"He hurt you." He said, his voice steady but low. "He hurt you, didn't he?"

When she didn't answer he drew her in his embrace again, hugging her with despair. "By the Angel Clary, why didn't you tell me—how long?"

"Since the beginning." She answered, whispering so low he almost didn't hear it.

"I'll kill him," he swore, "if it's the last thing I do, I'll kill him."

She shook her head, new tears streaming down her cheeks. "You can't Jace, you know you can't."

"But I can't let that worm touch you again, Clary—"

"Yes you can." She raised her gaze and took his face in her hands, making him look at her. "You have to. Just like I have to endure you being with Kaelie, you have to endure this. I'm strong, I can bear it. For as long as it takes."

He didn't say anything for a moment, as if he was looking for the right words, but then he just hugged her again, needing to feel her against him. "I'll find a way. I'm working on it. I promise you Clary, I'll find a way, I'll get us out of this nightmare."

"Hold me," she quietly said, "hold me Jace. Hold me close. I don't think I can face tomorrow if you don't hold me now. Please."

And he did. He did all night, keeping her close, stroking her hair, feeling her breathing alongside with him. Neither of them slept that night. Tomorrow the nightmare would begin again, stronger than ever, but tonight they had each other. Even if just for some stolen hours.