Sorry this one's a little shorter, but I hope you enjoy it. I'll be changing the rating on this fix to M before the next chapter so if you normally sort by rating you may not find it in the same place.

Thanks for all your feedback. I love hearing what you think. xoxo

I Still Get Jealous

Chapter 4, I'm The Lucky One

Saturday couldn't come soon enough. The pair had spent the last few days exchanging long glances across hospital halls, and making awkward small talk. And now finally Owen had picked Amelia up and was driving her to their date he'd planned.

"You still haven't told me where we are going" she pointed out as she watched the scenery out the window trying to figure out where he was taking her. It was a warm day so she'd settled on a sundress and some strappy sandels as a safe option and figured if a dress wasn't appropriate he'd have been a bit more specific.

"You'll see" he chuckled, "we're nearly there".

Only a few minutes later he pulled the car up near a marina and rushed around to open Amelia's door for her, reaching for her hand to guide her out of his truck. "Are we going out on a boat?"

"We are" he grinned, he'd asked Jackson if he could borrow his boat for the day and seeing as the guy never used it he'd happily handed over the keys on the condition it was returned the way it was left. With her hand in his he leaded her up the jetty "This is it" he told her when they finally got to the right one.

"Wow" she smiled, turning towards him and standing on her tippy toes so she could kiss him on the cheek. "I didn't realise you could drive a boat!"

"I can't" Owen laughed, "but that guy can" he explained pointing towards a man getting off the boat and approaching them. "Amelia this is Stanley, he's going to be driving us around today".

Reaching out and shaking the mans hand Amelia started to get excited about the day ahead. This definitely wasn't what she was expecting. "Nice to meet you".

"Likewise" Stanley replied, "anyway I'll pretty much leave the two of you alone for the day, I know this is more of a date rather than a tour guide, so hop on board and we'll get going really soon".

"Thanks man" Owen nodded before helping Amelia on board. Once they got up on the deck Amelia looked around to find fairy lights and lanterns hung up as well as a picnic blanket laid out with pillows, blankets and basket waiting for them. "Do you like it?" Owen asked nervously.

"Owen, this is so great" she sighed as he leaned into her from behind, placing his head on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her. "and you know what the best part is?"

"What's that?"

"There is absolutely no chance of us running into anyone we know out here"

"That was what I was hoping for" he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before looking back out onto the horizon as they started to set sail. "Have I told you how beautiful you look?"

"Only a few times" she laughed. She felt so happy right now being here with him, the wait was definitely worth it. Owen was always good to her, but there was something special about the extra effort he was going to to do all the gentlemanly things a girl would expect on a first date.

Breaking away from her Owen pulled out a bottle of sparkling water from their picnic hamper and sat down on the picnic rug, patting a place down next to him for her to join him. He poured two glasses, handing her one and raising his "here's to new beginnings"

"New beginnings" she raised hers in agreeance.

The next few hours went by quickly. They'd cuddled up under a blanket where they could see the ocean and scenery pass by as they sailed and chatted about everything except what they both really wanted to ask. Owen had told her all about how living with Deluca was going, and how Meg and Nathan were doing down in LA, and Amelia had told him about Meredith and Maggie and how they'd been taking an unusual interest in her love life ever since she'd moved back in. And now they'd started to run out of things to talk about. Owen knew it would only eat him up inside if he didn't ask. "Mia"

"Yeah?" She responded looking up at him. She'd been sitting in his lap, her back rested up against his chest.

"I know this isn't exactly first date kind of stuff…"

Amelia, looked up at him raising her eyebrows, "are you going to take me into one of the rooms downstairs and have your way with me?" she joked, only half serious.

"ha, don't tempt me"

Sensing a bit more of a seriousness tone in the air, Amelia sat herself up so she was facing him. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, we don't have to talk about it right now, but at some sage we need to talk about what happened. I mean I know we said we were just going to put it all behind us and blame all the bad stuff on the tumour, but..." his voice trailed off trying to find the right words.

"That was before we were going to get back together" she nodded in understanding.

"yeah" he sighed, "I guess I just still don't understand alot of things that happened. Anyway, like I said we don't have to talk about it right now".

"No, I'm happy to talk" she had wondered when it would eventually come up, "I mean this isn't exactly a normal first date". Nerves started to form in the pit of her stomach, the rational part of her knew that he'd understand, I mean she did have a tumour. There was an uncomfortable silence, Owen didn't know if he should jump in with a question, or if he should let her say anything she needed to, he didn't want to pressure her in any way.

"I think I was fine until I thought I might be pregnant" she started. "When I first started putting everything together I was really really excited. It wasn't until I took the test that I realised that I felt like I couldn't breath".

"What changed?" he asked, leaning forward slightly to place his hand on hers.

"You know I lost a child once before... But I never really told you anything else other than that" Amelia took in a deep breath before she continued, pushing herself to say the words. "After Ryan died and I went to rehab, I found out I was pregnant, I just thought my hormones were all messed up after everything I'd been through so it wasn't till quite late that I realised and then got a scan. My son had no brain, and I ah" she continued tears forming in her eyes. "I ah, I carried him to term so that we could donate his organs to other babies". Her breathing became a little quicker as tears fell, "giving birth to him was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but, I wanted his life to mean something, and I couldn't bear the thought of a termination".

"You're amazing, you know that right?" Owen told her, wiping away the tears that had started to roll down her face. "why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was scared, when that pregnancy test came back negative, I was so relieved, and you were so disappointed. I thought it would make you hate me if I told you that".

"I would have understood" he assured her, "you've been through something most people never come back from, it's ok to be scared, and it's ok that you felt relieved when all those memories came back to you".

"I know that now" she pulled herself back together, "I guess I just completely flipped"

"They did say this tumour would have been making you irrational for quite some time".

"True, but it doesn't change what happened. I still did all those things to hurt you".

Owen moved himself closer to her so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders, taking a moment to kiss her on her forehead "I've already forgiven all of that though, at least we know why it happened. And I understand now what was going through your head at the time".

"I do want children you know" she assured him, "It's just going to take some time".

"And I don't want to pressure you at all, there are lots of ways to have a family, and right now I'm just enjoying having you back in my life". He used his other hand to cup her cheek, and looked into her eyes, noticing her tears had cleared up.

"I'm so lucky to have you" she smiled, moving her face in closer to his.

"No I'm the lucky one" he whispered before he closed the gap between lips and kissed her. There were so many emotions running through his veins at that moment, he don't want to be anywhere else.