Honeymoon Hijinx: Chapter 4

I.

Ron swirled the dregs of his coffee. "I'm dead. Even if it was a dream (God, please, please, make it a dream) KP will never understand." Sensing a presence beside him he turned to find his new 'bride' standing beside him. "Mo...Monique?"

"I thought we had something to do today." Monique said softly.

Ron swallowed heavily. "Monique, ah, about last night..."

"We'll talk about that later, what about what we're here to do?"

"Ah, right, right. Well, the exchange isn't for a few more hours, would you like some breakfast?"

Monique sat across from him, "No, let's just get this over with."

Ron blinked, Mo' sure had changed her attitude about the mission. "Ah, I have to go to the men's room, be back in a minute." In keeping with their masquerade, he stood, then leaned over to kiss her cheek. Monique adroitly dodged, staring coldly at him. "Right, be back in a minute."

Monique's eyes followed him until the door closed behind him. Her hand raised to her lips. "All right, control, just what the hell did those two do last night?"

II.

Monique moaned. "Would somebody please get those little men with the sledge hammers to quiet down?" Her hand twitched, but the lightning strike across her forehead dissuaded any attempt at mobility. "I'll just lay here until the morticians arrive, at least then the pain will be gone." She whimpered internally as memories began to flash behind her pounding eyes. "Oh, we did not go there, I know it was all a dream. And if I'm having those kind of dreams about monkey boy I really need to get out more. He is one heckuva kisser though. NO, bad Monique, bad!" Pulling her courage tight, she cracked her eyelids. A blurry figure sat on the edge of the bed. "R-Ron?"

"Do not speak the chosen one's name, gaijin, you are not worthy." A melodious voice snarled.

"Ron?!" Monique jerked upright. "Ahhhhh, noooo, the pain." She moaned as she attempted to hold her shattering head together with both hands. She finally managed to bring the room into focus, not without considerable pain and will power. Blinking, Monique managed. "Who...who are you?"

"I am..."

"Please," Monique moaned, "Don't shout."

"I am not shouting. I am attempting to have a normal conversation with the seductress who stained the chosen one."

Monique fell back against the pillows, her eyes closing. "Please, I know you from somewhere, but just go away. You can tell me everything at the funeral."

"What funeral?"

"Mine." From her supine position, Monique cracked her eyes the tiniest bit. She saw an attractive asian staring at her with a puzzled frown. "Just go away for now. You can help me kill Monkey boy later." She closed her eyes against the evil light. She felt, more than heard the intruder move closer.

"I do not know what you are...are..."

Monique felt the woman fall on top of her. "Oh, no, even dying I don't play that game!" She began to rise only to fall back. "I'll....go...Pain...King...later. Sleep...."

The door opened on the two sleeping women.

"Took long enough."

"Give me a break, it takes a while to fill the room with gas from the ceiling vents. This guy must be some player. Two in the same bed."

"Doesn't matter. We're just supposed to pick up the one. What do we do with the second?"

"So we get paid extra." The two men picked up the women, then dropped them in a laundry cart.

"That cart's kind of small for two isn't it?"

"Not our problem, theirs." The two men covered the bodies with linens, then rolled them out the door.

III.

Kim moaned as the steaming water soothed her bruises. This was the first formal tournament she had participated in. "Taking on henchmen is less painful." She mused. "I'd love to see Shego go up against that last girl." She softly massaged her aching ribs. Her first opponent, Jil Lang, a tall, willowy kung fu fighter, had the bad luck to receive all of the frustration Kim had been feeling at not being able to be with Ron. While Jil had scored four or five sound hits they were not enough to stop the redheaded terror from Middleton. One minute and twelve seconds into the first round Kim had got in close and caught the Chinese girl with a palm strike to the sternum and an elbow across her jaw. The girl's eyes crossed and she dropped like a sack of potatoes. Kim grinned at the memory.

The second match had been an entirely different affair. Kwi Jin was a stocky girl about twenty five years of age. She had been more of a boxer, excelling at close in fighting. Kim found this out after being swept and having to quickly roll out of the way to avoid have her head stomped on. Adjusting her attack, Kim caught the girl from Taiwan with a round house kick to her left knee. She followed it with a spin back kick. Kwi Jin flown out of the ring skidding into a judge with her uniform coming partially undone. Kim,still upset from nearly having her face rearranged, hadn't really worried about Kwi Jin's embarrassing situation with the judge. Kwi picked herself up, bowing to the embarrassed judge. She turned to return to the competition area. She and Kim had bowed to each other and begun again. Kwi Jin rushed Kim and struck her with a right cross to the jaw, followed by a front kick to Kim's hip and an attempt to sweep Kim again. This time the Kim had been ready, spinning out of the way from the kick to her hip and moving off to the side. Kwi had tried to lurch after her, Kim performed a back flip and nailed Kwi with a double kick to her chin. Kwi began staggering. Kim had swept Kwi's back leg and held on to her arm. They fell to the mat together. Kim had already cocked her free elbow and delivered a back elbow to Kwi's left breast fracturing four ribs. Kim had reset the elbow and Kwi seeing where the next one was headed tapped the mat, giving up. Kim helped the other girl up and congratulated her on a good fight.

Letting the almost boiling water soak the soreness out, Kim winced. "It feels like I got kicked by a mule. I wonder who they have planned for tomorrow? Doesn't matter, one more bout, and I can leave and save Ron. If Betty hasn't caught her mole by then, too bad." She slipped further down in the bubbling tub, smiling to herself. "Ron will be so happy to see me."

IV.

Ron watched the street from the al fresco table he sat at. People watching had always been fun, but this time he couldn't enjoy it. Something was definitely wrong. The contact had signaled to abort, giving a second sign that she would be in contact. Monique had growled at him, then returned to the room, saying she wanted to be alone, after he explained that the swap had been canceled.

"i will never understand women." He mused, "Last night...I mean I know, at least I think I know, what happened happened, but...and KP." Burgeoning panic flared in his eyes. "What am I gonna tell KP? At least I won't have to worry about that until I get back to Middleton. But..."

A deep voice spoke from behind him. "M'seiu Carter? Would you come with us, please?"

Ron turned to see two men in suits behind him.