Later that night he sat in a bombed out bar, the very bar where he had convinced his friend to follow him into war despite the fact he was free to go home, and cried. Drink after drink did nothing for him, and god, as he flexed his hand and looked at the red scar he felt nothing. Bucky was gone and it was his fault. "He can't go where I can't follow. He shouldn't be able to. Buck… Buck. James Buchanan Barnes. Dammit." Knocking back a few more drinks he cried himself out only finally settling when he heard someone approaching. It was still so new being able to hear so well. Where was the half deaf boy now? Had he died when Bucky did? What was the point of him being here if Bucky was not? For now, the only thing he had left was to wipe out Hydra. As if their crimes against humanity were not bad enough, they had now committed the ultimate crime against him. They would pay for it, they had to take responsibility.
_BREAK_
Nothing was the same without Bucky by his side, and no matter the fact that he could take care of himself perfectly well, his left side always felt blind. Mission after mission he called for a man that was not there. The Howling Commandos never mentioned anything, but they all knew. Even as eventually he tried to console Peggy on the other end of the phone as he fly a plane carrying the fate of the world into the ocean, Steve thought of Bucky. When he could no longer hear her, when he knew the radio had gone completely silent he frowned and took a steadying breath. "I guess this is the end of the line for me Buck, sorry I'm joining you a bit late." Sighing deeply he shut his eyes not wanting to watch as his world became dark. At least there was some solace to dying.