A/N: This chapter took on a life of it's own. I hadn't intended to end it the way I did, but I hope you all enjoy. Your reviews are what keep me writing, I love hearing what each of you thinks and reading any suggestions that you have.

Rachel's Turn

part 1

"Turning and turning in the widening gyre the falcon cannot hear the falconer…" Mrs. Raynes recited at the front of the classroom as Rachel did her best to pay attention. English was one of the few classes that she was actually good at, thanks to her verbose nature and excellent diction, but her thoughts had once again drifted away from the classroom. One week. It felt like longer. It felt like years had passed since their little confrontation in his bedroom, but no, it had only been a week. She still found herself occasionally glancing over at his desk to share some esoteric observation that only the two of them would've understood. It hurt every time she forgot that he wasn't there, but luckily that didn't happen often. Her fellow Glee members along with the rest of the school seemed content to remind her that he was gone at every possible opportunity.

At least half of the team (Mercedes, Santana, Artie, Tina, and Kurt) was pissed at her for 'being tricked' and putting the clubs chance at regional's at risk. They told her that they had all known from the beginning that he was up to no good, but she had been too desperate to see through his lies. He had used her to get to the club and if they lost at regionals it would be her fault for putting her relationship with that traitor ahead of her commitment to the team. If that was the only reason they lost she would be pleasantly surprised, but she kept that thought to herself. The other half of the club (Quinn, Puck, Brittany, Finn, and Mike) seemed to feel pity for her more than any real anger. At one point Puck had even offered to make out with her, guaranteeing that it would help her feel better. She had laughed, and that alone seemed to be what he was aiming for. She knew that lately he had been trying to prove himself to Quinn, so she doubted that the offer was genuine. On the other hand, Finn remained entirely serious and persistent in his courting of her. He made sure to remind her every time he saw her that he was patiently waiting for her to be ready to take him back.

She sighed and turned her eyes away from the window she had been blankly staring out of to look over at him. He was currently sitting in the desk beside her, attempting to answer a question she hadn't even heard the teacher ask. "Um…it's about…the second coming?" he asked dumbly. Mrs. Raynes looked decidedly unimpressed.

"Ms. Berry, can you help Mr. Hudson?"

Without knowing the question she called up her knowledge of the Yates poem from memory and then blindly took a stab at it. "Well, the poem is about the birth of the anti-Christ to the earth, 'A shape with lion body and the head of a man,' 'slouching towards Bethlehem'. It's from the book of revelations." Rachel was proud of herself for getting that right, despite having almost to no experience with Christianity.

Satisfied that she was paying attention Ms. Raynes nodded her head and moved on to other students. Rachel considered herself lucky when she made it through the rest of the lesson without being called on again. This had easily been one of the most trying weeks of her life, and today had offered no reprieve.

It started off with Jacob leering at her, in that creepy, obnoxious way of his, the moment she walked through the double doors. Then Finn had met her at her locker in order to reiterate the fact that he was still waiting for her until she was ready to take him back, which was becoming more annoying than endearing. Apparently he hadn't thought it would take so long for her to come back to him once Jesse was out of the way. After he left Ms. Pillsbury approached her. Apparently Mr. Schue had asked that the guidance counselor speak to her about 'the Jesse situation', which had annoyed Rachel to no end. She understood the woman was just doing her job, but she didn't want or need to be taken aside for 'girl talk' and she was certain that she wouldn't be getting this sort of attention if Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Schue didn't have a thing for each other. The only benefit to come from Ms. Pillsbury's intrusion was that it stopped the jocks from covering her in slushie that morning, although she knew they would get her at some point.

When the attack finally came she was walking from Mrs. Raynes class to the cafeteria for lunch. She had been keeping a vigilant eye out, sticking close to the lockers and trying to create as little of a target as possible, but they hit her from every angle. Three big-gulps of slushie were poured over her head in an icy mess. She remained still for a moment, wiping corn syrup out of her eyes and waiting for her vision to clear. She took a deep breath. While a bit harsher than usual, she had been expecting this. She could deal with this. Turning around without a word she marched silently back through the halls, ignoring the finger pointing and laughter that followed her with a steady grace that had taken her years to perfect. When she arrived at her locker that practiced indifference came crashing down around her as panic replaced it.

She found the door to it slightly ajar.

Searching her memory, she recalled going through the process of opening her locker in order to distract her from Finn, and she remembered Ms. Pillsbury approaching her and asking that she come to the guidance office. What she couldn't remember was whether or not she had fully closed her locker when she walked away. So with dread building in the pit of her stomach she opened the cracked door wide.

All of her books were gone and every single surface was covered with insults written in permanent black marker. The picture of her fathers that she kept on the door had been defaced with pornographic images and gay slurs, while the picture of her and Jesse had been torn to shreds. She also found the remains of a stink bomb which left a smell she was sure would linger for days. Unsurprisingly, her spare clothes were nowhere to be found, so she was left standing there with ice dripping down her face and tears in her eyes. Behind her she heard the raucous laughter of, what must have been at least half of the football team, and knew that a crowd must be gathering. She couldn't move though. Her feet were rooted to the spot and her voice seemed to have abandoned her. All she could do was stare in shock.

Eventually she heard someone pushing through the crowd behind and she looked around when she felt a hand lightly touch her sticky shoulder, expecting to see a teacher. It was a testament to how far their tentative friendship had advanced over the last few days when she was only slightly surprised to see Quinn standing next her. She still couldn't find her voice, but the look on her ice covered face must have said it all, because the next thing she knew Quinn was steering her through the slowly dispersing crowd into the nearest bathroom.

The pregnant girl must've called her name a few times, but when she made no response Quinn took it upon herself to bring her over to the sinks. Looking up into the mirror Rachel found her own appearance startling. Although she hadn't realized she was crying there were tear tracks slicing their way through the purple dye that coated her face and melting ice dripping from her hair. Before she could analyze her own face further Quinn gently turned Rachel's head to face her and brushed a damp paper towel across the girl's cheeks, systematically working her way across her face. Softly but efficiently she cleaned away all of the sticky substance.

Rachel brought a hand up, stopping the other girl, who looked truly worried, and took over. "Rachel?" Quinn asked uncertainly, "Are you…?"

"I'll be fine." the response was automatic and her tone was mechanical. Quinn didn't look reassured. If anything she looked more concerned. "They took my clothes…" Rachel said as she finished cleaning off her exposed skin and realized that she had nothing to change into.

"Don't worry, I'll go and find you something to wear," Quinn told her in an exaggeratedly calm voice, as though she were talking to a small child who was about to break down any minute. Maybe she was. "I'll be right back," Quinn assured her. Rachel simply nodded her head and watched the other girl turn back to look at her twice before exiting through the bathroom door.

Once she was alone Rachel just stared at her mostly slushie free face with detachment. This wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened to her - far from it. Slushie facials had been a regular occurrence since she first started high school. Her clothes (and anything else she left lying around) had been stolen on multiple occasions. Cruel jokes and nicknames were hurled at her everyday as a matter-of-course, and she had been hearing slurs against her fathers for as long as she could remember. She could handle any one of these things alone, but for some reason this time was different. Maybe it was because she wasn't used to dealing with it all at once, or maybe it was because she was already so close to breaking, but this time she just couldn't get herself to bounce back.

When Quinn returned to the bathroom it was with an arm full of clothes and a still weary look on her face. "I found some stuff for you to wear…" she surveyed Rachel with her eyes, taking in the girl's completely sodden appearance and made a decision. "Come on."

She walked over and took Rachel by the hand when she made no move to follow, and led the disturbingly compliant girl out of the bathroom. There was no way that a paper towel and a bathroom sink was going to get the job done this time, and Quinn was partially hoping that a full on shower would help Rachel to snap out of it. Apparently the bell for class had already rung, because the hallways were empty. She led her teammate into the thankfully empty girl's locker room. "Rachel? You should go take a shower, try to rinse yourself off."

"I can't," Rachel said, suddenly becoming aware of exactly where they were. She had stopped showering in the girl's locker room after the Cheerios had stolen all of her clothes and strung them up in the hallway for everyone to see. She had needed help from the janitor to retrieve her bra and panties from where they hung in the hallway. Needless to say, it had been a humiliating experience and she had avoided the girl's locker room ever since. It was a sort of unofficial Cheerios hangout and she was surprised that they hadn't run into any yet.

Quinn must've realized exactly what Rachel was thinking. "They're all in class. Don't worry. I'll stay here until you're done to make sure no one bothers you."

"You should be in class too then. Quinn, I know you're smart, but there's no way you're going to be able to maintain your GPA if you skip classes in order …" Rachel began to rant and Quinn felt relief take the place of her usual annoyance.

"Rachel it's fine," Quinn told her with exasperation. She found it hard to believe that Berry could be concerned about her right now. "If you don't get out of those wet clothes you're going to get sick. Imagine what that'll do to your voice." This got her full attention and after a moment Rachel nodded in agreement.

She took the new clothes from the ex-cheerleader's arms and went into the nearest shower stall. She had now been in her wet clothes so long she felt coldness seeping into her core, or at least she hoped that the cold feeling was coming from the wet clothes. As the warm spray of water hit her she made a mental note to thank Quinn for suggesting this, and then began to wash the purple dye out of her hair. She stayed in the shower for an extra ten minutes after the last of the dye had spiraled down the drain, doing her best to prepare herself to face the rest of the day.

When she finally walked out of the bathroom she was wearing short red gym shorts, a white tank top, and a black leather jacket. With her hair pulled back she looked like she was about to go for a run…or join a biker gang.

"The jacket is Puck's, and I got the tank top from Brittany," Quinn answered her unasked questions. "The shorts were the only thing I could find on such short notice." Her voice still sounded cautious as she waited to see how Rachel would respond.

"Thank you, Quinn," she said sincerely. "I don't know what I would've done…" her voice trailed off.

"No problem," Quinn told her, suddenly feeling awkward. It was strange to be around a silent Rachel Berry, but her silence had been becoming more prevalent lately. The girl had been withdrawing into herself for the past few days now, and everyone had noticed it. For perhaps the first time in their lives Quinn longed for the old babbling Rachel. "Well, class is almost over now," She said feeling the need to fill the silence. "You should just cut out now and go home," she suggested.

Rachel seriously considered doing just that. It wasn't like anyone would really miss her, and she didn't think she could take any more blows today. Their final class would be over in twenty minutes and the only thing she had after that was Glee. One week ago the idea of missing a meeting would have seemed appalling to her, but now it seemed like it might be a relief. She slowly pushed that thought away though, knowing that it wouldn't lead anywhere good.

"No." There is tiredness to her voice that wasn't there before. "I have to go to the Glee meeting."

For a moment Quinn looked like she was going to argue, but finally she just nodded her head.

Together they walked to the empty choir room and waited for the bell to ring. Slowly the other students began to trickle in and take their seats.

"Uh…what're you wearing?" Finn asked when he saw her pieced together outfit.

"Looks like a definite improvement to me," Kurt smirked.

"I got slushied and somebody stole my spare clothes," Rachel explained in an unnaturally quiet voice. "By the way, thank you for the jacket, Noah," she said to Puck as he walked past.

"Sure, whatever." Puck shrugged as he took his seat next to Quinn. "Just try not to get any slushie on it –" Quinn elbowed him in the gut and sent him a silent glare. "What?" he demanded.

Rachel simply nodded her head, "I promise I will return it to you in pristine condition," she said in the same quiet voice. She made a similar promise to Brittany when she and Santana walked into the room, but remained quiet otherwise. This reserved attitude was not entirely new, and most of the members of the club had noted it with worry. She was still their best singer of course, but there was a distracted air to her now. She didn't offer ideas or criticism as readily. Her attention tended to wander during discussions and other student's performances, leaving her silent and unfocused. This did her no favors with her teammates though, who saw her new preoccupied melancholy attitude detrimental to the club. Despite their treatment of her, everyone knew that she was supposed to be a driving force of the team and that meant moping around because of Jesse was not acceptable.

Rachel barely noticed the uneasy tension that fell around her or the hushed argument taking place in corner between Finn, Mercedes, Kurt and Tina until they finally broke apart and turned towards her, marching up to where she sat, some more confidently than others.

"Rachel, we need to talk," Finn started off softly, apparently the designated speaker for the group. "Lately we've all noticed that you've been distracted…" he trailed off allowing her a space to jump in.

"I've had a lot on my mind lately," she told him shortly, snapping back to her precise tones.

"We know you've been dealing with a lot, with Jesse leaving and everything," he said the name 'Jesse' like it is a bad word, "but we can't let him mess with us any more than he already has." Finn intended it to come off as gentle.

"You need to snap out of it and start pulling your weight," Mercedes said frankly, incase Finn's version didn't quite get through.

Rachel stared at her incredulously, "She doesn't mean that you aren't pulling your weight," Finn quickly jumped in, trying to soften the divas words, "just that –"

"No, she meant you're not pulling your weight," Kurt clarified definitively.

"My performances in this club have been flawless!" Rachel pointed out angrily.

"P-P-Please," Tina said dismissively.

"Guys, maybe now isn't the best time to have this conversation, Rachel has been through a lot today – " Quinn tried to interject, but the others just scoffed.

"What because she got slushied?" Santana asked, "How is that different from any other day?"

"Just the other week you were criticizing us for not meeting your standards. Now you aren't meeting ours," Kurt told her.

"You mean you're angry because I've stopped doing all of the work for you," Rachel shot back, feeling a slight pressure forming between her eyes. No doubt the first sign of an oncoming headache. "I come to every meeting, I sing all of my songs perfectly, and I've memorized all of the choreography. What more do you want from me?" she demands.

"You're s-s-supposed to be our leader," Tina reminded her of the title that she had once insisted was hers.

"You've hardly made any suggestions all week," Finn pointed out with dissatisfaction, "You let other people pick the songs for the set list, it's like you don't care what's going on with the club anymore."

"I make plenty of suggestions! You all ignore most of them." She did not feel like dealing with this right now. "You only want me to be the 'leader' when you agree with what I have to say."

"So?" Santana asked flippantly.

"So maybe I don't feel like carrying this team anymore!" she snapped, feeling a throbbing in her head begin. She couldn't take this. Where was Mr. Schue?

"Carrying us?" Mercedes asked disbelievingly.

"Clearly she's lost whatever fragile grip on reality she once had," Kurt said scornfully, rolling his eyes.

"Listen, Whatever your problem is - deal with it," Mercedes ordered, unforgiving. "Like we told you when you first started dating that loser, everyone is replaceable," She threatened coldly with a superior attitude.

"Mercedes is right," Kurt agreed unsurprisingly, stepping forward to stand by his fellow cheerio, "We can't keep codling her."

"You were codling me?" Rachel questioned.

Kurt continued as though she hadn't interrupted, "If you can't pull it together then you can leave."

"Hey, everybody just chill out for a minute," Puck suggested, feeling odd about being the voice of reason for once.

"No, you know what, I'm tired of this," Rachel declared, standing up and looking her teammates directly in the eye, "If you think you can do this without me go ahead and replace me!" She shot an angry look around the room at all the others, and then stormed towards the door.

"Rachel, wait –"

"Oh great, another storm-"

"Now what are we –"

"Just let her go – "

"Mercedes that was – "

Rachel heard the hubbub behind her, but she didn't turn around or look back. School had only been out for about ten minutes, but the hallways were almost completely deserted. The moment she stepped out into the hall she noticed Mr. Schue slowly making his way towards the choir room with Artie trailing along beside him. The boy seemed to be coming up with excuses to slow the teacher down, and Rachel immediately realized that this must have been part of the plan. Send Artie to delay Mr. Schue and keep him from butting in on their little intervention. Rachel marched down the hallway towards them, but Mr. Schue caught sight of her before she could open her mouth to say a word.

"Rachel, whatever it is, I'm sure it wasn't that bad." He says preemptively. "You can't just keep storming out of practice." His words and frustrated tone stop her short. He hadn't even given her a chance to tell him what had happened before he started taking their side.

She shook her head quietly and gives him a hard stare. "I quit," She told him decisively.

He did a double take that would have been comedic had Rachel not been so angry.

"What?" he asked incredulously, but Rachel had already walked past him on her way out to her car. "Rachel, wait!" he called after her, but she didn't stop. Her heart was racing as she walked out of the building and into the parking lot. She barely noticed the footsteps racing behind her.

"Rachel, will you just wait a minute?" Mr. Schue asked and she felt a hand come down on her shoulder, stopping her in place. "Come back inside so we can talk about this," he asked her imploringly.

"No," She said, unwavering. "I am done being this clubs perpetual punching bag. I've poured copious amounts of time and energy into trying to make this team the best, and what do I get for it? Ridiculed. Insulted. Dismissed." The hurt that she hid so well back in the choir room was starting to seep into her voice now, but she carried on. "If they think they can replace me or peer pressure me, then let them try. We all know how that's going to end up, but when they come begging for me to come back, tell them I'm done. Let's see how New Direction does without Rachel Berry to kick around." She pulled her shoulder out of his grip and turned on her heels, stalking over to her car and starting the engine before Mr. Schue has regained his wits. He was left standing there with his mouth hanging open and bewilderment building inside of him.

Back inside the students still in the choir room were in an uproar, tossing blame and accusations around the room. "So I take it that didn't go as planned," Artie said loudly, drawing attention to his arrival and interrupting the argument at hand.

"It was going fine until Mercedes and Kurt decided to kick her out of the club," Finn told him, still glaring at the two cheerios.

"No, it wasn't. At no point did that conversation not suck," Puck contradicted.

"Whose dumbass idea was this anyway?" Quinn asked as she stared between Kurt, Mercedes, and Finn. "And why didn't anyone mention it before hand?" This time she turned her glare on Santana and Brittney. She hated being kept out of the loop, especially since this was currently the only loop she had.

"We've all noticed how distracted she's been since Jesse left. Somebody had to talk to her," Artie supplied.

"Does someone want to tell me exactly what just happened?" Mr. Schue demanded as he came into the choir room looking perplexed and annoyed. The last thing he wanted to deal with was another Rachel Berry meltdown, but something in the girl's voice when she had given her little speech outside gave him pause. Now the rest of the team wasn't looking him in the eye and it only aggravated him more.

"Apparently some people thought it would be a good idea to give Rachel an ultimatum, so they threatened to kick her off the team. I don't think it went as planned," Quinn said acrimoniously, feeling irrationally angry on the other girl's behalf. Rachel had been through quite enough today without having to deal with this bullshit from the people who were supposed to be her teammates. Teammates were supposed to support each other through thick and thin, not turn their backs on one of their own just because she made one stupid mistake. It wasn't fair, and Rachel didn't deserve to be abandoned or forced out. She had been in charge and absolutely dedicated to the team for years - months - and they couldn't just push her out like this. Quinn wouldn't let them.

"We just wanted to talk to her," Finn clarified uncomfortably, not liking the bad light Quinn was painting them in. "We noticed how distracted she's been lately and we wanted to try to snap her out of it," he finished lightly and sent Mr. Schue an innocent shrug.

"So you kicked her off the team?" Schue asked uncomprehending. Of course Will had noticed Rachel's change in behavior just as much as his students had, which is why he had asked Emma to talk to her. He wasn't sure what else he could do to get the young singer back to overbearing, take charge ways. There was only so much a male teacher could do when dealing with a teenage girl with a broken heart. And if he was being honest he had to admit that he hasn't been completely comfortable sitting in a room alone with Rachel since she developed her crush on him. He was just a little bit relieved that her teammates had taken the initiative to confront her about her behavior.

"We hadn't intended to do that..." Finn scowled at Mercedes.

"That girl needed a wakeup call," Kurt said unabashedly. "There is no way we are going to take regionals with her still wallowing over our competition. When she comes back she'll be back to her old annoying self."

"Rachel seemed really upset guys - she told me she was quitting the club." This news seemed have little effect on the club. "You couldn't have been a bit more sensitive?" Will questioned them, but his voice had lost its edge. He knew that Finn would never try to hurt Rachel, and there was a good chance the girl was simply overreacting, but Finn had been known to make some dumb choices.

"Yeah, because Rachel is oh so s-sensitive," Tina said sarcastically.

"She'll be back," Mercedes scoffed, unconcerned.

"I don't think she will," Quinn said quietly. She thought about everything that had happened to Rachel today and every other day before this day, and knew that she wouldn't blame the young diva if she never wanted to set foot in this choir room again. Since the news of her pregnancy got out she had gotten a small taste of what Rachel had been going through all these years, and she truly didn't know how the singer dealt with it. She couldn't understand why the girl wasn't bitterer. Hell, Quinn herself had been the cause of a significant portion of Rachel's torment over the years. She should have been pleased to see Quinn's plummet down the social ladder, but instead of kicking her while she was down Rachel had offered her a hand in friendship, and was willing to bury the hatchet between them. It was baffling. Quinn honestly did not understand how Rachel's mind worked, and looking around this room she knew that nobody else here did either.

"Of course she will. Rachel Berry needs glee club like a crack addict needs a pipe. She'll be shaking with withdrawals by Monday," Kurt assured them.

"I don't know. Trust me, there are only so many times you can kick a dog before it comes back and bites you in the ass," Puck told them knowingly. "Not literally!" he clarified when the others look at him in outrage. "God, a guy can't use a metaphor around here without being accused of animal cruelty," he grumbled quietly, regretting having even tried.

"I think it was a good metamorphosis. You should never kick dogs," Brittney assured Puck. Santana gently explained to her what a metaphor was.

"Listen, Rachel's just upset," Finn defended her, "This club is her life. She just needs time to calm down, and think about what we said. She'll be back to her old self in no time," he told them all confidently, slipping into the role of team leader without Rachel there to do it.

"Alright guys, whatever the case may be, it doesn't look like Rachel will be coming back today and we need to get started." Schue said, calling the meeting to order. They all sat down, ignoring Rachel's empty seat, "Ok, so who has their betrayal song ready?" A few hands shoot up, and New Directions began its practice without Rachel.

Both praise and criticism are appreciated.

I felt that Rachel being forced out of the club would really hit home for Quinn since she recently experienced something similar with the cheerios and her parents. I tried to stay as true to each of these characters personalities as I could, I don't dislike New Direction, because each of these characters has their redeeming qualities, but I can easily picture each of these characters acting this way under these circumstances.