Chapter Three - "15 Minutes"

Nicky leaned against the wall of the hallway, biting her thumbnail anxiously.

She was hovering nearby as Piper, Alex, Gina, Freida, Yoga, Boo, Demarco, Gloria, Sister Ingalls and of course Norma crowded around Red, fussing over her. Red looked happy, but overwhelmed at the attention she was receiving.

Red was being released this morning. Everyone would miss her. She had been here forever. Almost all of them had never known a day in this prison without Red's larger than life presence.

Nicky wanted Red to feel all the love she was receiving. She deserved it. As far as Nicky was concerned, she deserved the moon.

But at the same time, she wanted to grab her and scream at her and beg her not to leave her behind. How could she survive the remaining year of her sentence without Red? Just the thought of it was enough to make Nicky want to bury herself in heroin again and never come up for air.

Nicky looked up at the clock. It was 8:15 AM. In 15 minutes, Red would be gone.

She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe and she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to again.

Before she knew what she was doing, she took off down the hall and ran towards the dorms. She didn't know why. She didn't want to. She wanted to say goodbye to Red. But at the same time, she didn't know how.

She made her way to Red's cube, and was relieved to see that it was empty. The bed was neatly made, and it was devoid of Red's pillow and blanket. It was a sign that Red was gone and she would never come back.

Nicky sank down onto the bed, and just stared straight ahead. She felt lost. She only had 15 minutes left and what did she do? She ran away. What if she didn't get the chance to say goodbye now? What the fuck was she doing?

She closed her eyes and took deep, cleansing breaths. She knew she had to get back out there. But for some reason, her body wouldn't move. She couldn't move.

She sat like that for a minute or so, and when she opened her eyes she looked up and saw Red staring down at her.

And for the first time since she was a little girl, she let herself fall apart.

Red was there to catch her before she sank down onto the floor, and despite her back pain, she knelt down on the floor in front of her girl, and let her melt into her arms.

Nicky's arms wrapped around Red's waist and she sobbed into her chest. She could feel Red's heartbeat. It made her feel safe. Would she ever feel safe again?

Red knew that their time together was running out. She looked up and saw CO Belle leaning against the cubicle with her arms crossed, an impatient scowl on her face.

Nicky's heart was breaking and Red wasn't sure if she could put it back together this time, but she would try. "Nicky...shhh...oh baby...this isn't goodbye, hmm? Me and you...we are forever. Come on, my girl...calm down."

Nicky shook her head. "I can't let go. If I let go then you'll be gone."

Red pulled back and cupped her hands around Nicky's cheeks, the same way she had done countless times before. "I'll never be gone from your life, malyshka. Never. I'm always gonna love you. This won't be easy for us, I know but...we will make it work, right? We can do anything, you and I."

Nicky nods. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm happy for you, I am. I just...I'll miss you so much."

Red kisses her forehead and nods, her own eyes filling with tears. "Me too, baby. But...we just have to take it one day at a time. You call me, and I'll come visit as often as I can. I promise you. And when it's your turn to get out of here, I'll be here to pick you up. I promise."

Nicky leans forward and presses her forehead against Red's. "You do?"

Red nods again. "I do. I love you, little girl. Always."