Thankyou for the reviews. Means a lot :). Someone asked if I was writing the story again. Thats my plan but i will change a bit and i will probably speed it up. I also plan to have Stendan together in the end , don't know how yet. :) xx

The heat hit him like a wave pushing him back and forcing him to turn his head. He was getting in there, he wasn't going to let Steven die. He was so young, he had so much to live for. He wasn't sure what life would be like without him in it.

'STEVEN!' he shouted again to no use . He searched his pockets for his phone fumbling around like a fucking idiot. He found it and dialed 999 holding it to his ear.

'Hello, yeh fire brigade please. 2 terrace drive. Ten minutes. OK'

He couldn't wait ten minutes. He looked inside, not being able to see much from the smoke apart from orange blobs and the outline of walls. The fire was mainly in Stevens kitchen, parts of the floor and the living room where burning and lots of the wallpaper was on fire. He looked around and saw there was a small fountain at the end of the road near Stevens flat.

He sprinted over, feeling the burn in his lungs and threw off his coat soaking it in the fountain then putting it back over him. Adrenaline pulsated through his blood and he had a metallic taste in his mouth like biting on a set of keys.

He would save Steven or he would die trying.

He ran to the entrance of Stevens home and took one step in, covering his nose and mouth with his sleeve. His heart was beating so fast that he genuinely believed it would pop right out of his skin.

The heat was almost unbearable , scolding him making him cough and splutter. The air was thick with heat and smoke and his eyes burned making water stream down his face.

'Steven, can you here me Steven' He shouts leaving about a second for a response then jumping into action. He stepped forward another three small steps into the living room. He could see nothing but fire all around him and he wanted to scream at haw frustrated he was that Steven wasn't in here. He looked for a gap in the flames and found one small enough for him to get to the hallway of Stevens flat. He jumped through it scolding his legs and arms on the surrounding flames , sweat dropping from the end of his nose and he could taste it salty and smoke like charcoal in his mouth.

He breathed slowly even though his lungs screamed for oxygen and it was making him light-headed. He had to breathe in as little smoke as possible if he was going to last long enough to find Steven and drag him out. He kicked at a door in his reach until t fell. There was no fire behind it so he ran in. He patted his leg out quickly where it had caught fire while he was kicking down the door. He looked around and found he was in the bedroom. Memories flooded back but he ignored them searching the room for Steven and screaming his name. He wasn't in here so he walked to the door used the frame for support as he coughed and splutter violently. He stepped out and quickly ran through the fire with his coat over him like a cape. He reached another door and backed through it falling to the floor. He patted down his clothes sure he must be on fire but he wasn't, the heat in the building made him feel like he was burning alive all the time.

He looked around but couldn't see much but black. He was in the bathroom facing a bare wall with a sink on it. He turned around and his breath hitched in his throat and he choked on it. He saw Steven in the bath , naked and exposed. He looked like he was sleeping his head was rested on the back and his eyes were closed. He reached over to the boys throat . Relief washed over him when he found the boys heartbeat. He was alive. He lifted Steven out of the bath like a baby and held him in his arms. He slapped him round the face gently and shouted his name to try wake him up.

'Please, please be okay Steven wake up please.'

He kissed Steven lightly then turned to the door , knowing it might be their last. He wanted to take advantage of the water next to him. He put Steven down on the floor and jumped into the bath quickly wetting all his clothes . He took off his coat and put it on Steven. It was big enough to cover most of his legs but it wasn't enough. Brendan found a jug and went to the door throwing water on to the flames as fast as he could . He was choking on his own breath every time he tried to breathe he needed to get them out now. He had managed to clear a small part of the flames, enough to get to the living room. He picked up Steven and ran out making it to the living room and almost collapsing on the floor. He felt light headed and hot, far too hot and his chest burned and he couldn't breathe.

He heard the sirens rounding the corner to the house and he almost cried with happiness. There was no way Brendan could get through the wall of fire in front of him and survive. He sat where he stood and pulled Stevens head up to his lips so he could whisper into his ear.

'You keep that heart beating Steven Hay. Don't you dare stop.'

He cradled him and prayed to god to keep him alive , his breathing was shallow and he could hear the scratch of his throat with each breath. The fireman shouted and Brendan shouted back ' Over here, he's over here' He was struggling to breathe now and his voice was quiet and pathetic.

Brendan almost wanted the men to leave him there and just save Steven but they didn't they took Steven out of his arms and out into an ambulance. Then they came back for Brendan throwing his arms over their shoulders and hauling him out of the building. Everything went black, the voices of the men became mumbles and they echoed inside his head. He couldn't see and he wanted to scream at them to go help Steven but his lips could't move . He felt more out of control than he ever had and he didn't have the strength to fight it anymore. Without Stevens face pulling him back to reality, without no pressing urgency to carry on he gave up and was engulfed by black nothingness.

xxxxxxxx

Brendan woke up in an uncomfortable bed. He was staring at a white ceiling and harsh lights made his head pound. He wasn't wearing his own clothes, instead he had a hospital gown which felt like paper against his skin. His arm and leg were covered in gauge and he had wires and tubes sticking into him from god knows where.

He blinked a couple of times to focus his eyes and turned his head to the side. Cheryl was there of course, asleep in the chair beside the bed. Her hair not curled and she had no make-up on. It reminded Brendan of when they where kids and Cheryl would come into his room in the morning to wake him up with her hair back and looking like she was constantly hung over. She was never a morning person.

His throat burned painfully when he tried to swallow, he coughed and Cheryl opened her eyes.

'Bren, your awake! i'll go get a nurse'

'Cheryl i'm fine honestly.'

'Brendan Brady you are not fine. Your covered in burns and you almost died from smoke inhalation! and going in there for Ste. I know you two are friends but no need to risk you life for him!'

Brendan groaned at the lecture. He loved Cheryl to pieces and her rambling on could actually send him to sleep.

'Chez, he could have died. I would have done it for anyone' He lied. He did it because he couldn't cope if he had left Steven to die. He doesn't even deserve his own life but Steven had everything to live for.

wait a second. ' Steven, where is he? how is he? is he okay?' Brendan sat up in the bed looking around the room.

'He's in intensive care, he's stable. Whatever that means. The doctors said you saved his life Brendan, if he had been left a few minutes longer his heart would've given out, he could have burned to death.'

Brendan wanted to smile at that but he couldn't. Steven was in intensive care because Brendan had left him. If he had more self-control then Steven might not have even tried to make a quick meal. He might not have fallen asleep in the bath because Brendan had tired him out...

'Anyway you distracted me'

Cheryl stood up then and walked out of the ward to get a nurse before Brendan could tell her to stop.

Moments later she returned with a women in white scrubs. She smiled and picked up the clipboard at the end of the bed.

'Mr Brady, your looking better. How are you feeling? Breathing okay?'

'Yeah , my throat kills but i can breathe fine'

'Okay, you can't have any more painkillers because you've had a lot for you burns already. But you can have something small for your throat. I will get that for you in a minute.'

'So why am i in here, can i leave?'

'You passed out because of lack of oxygen to the brain . Some of the chemicals in the smoke were toxic, maybe burning plastic? these have caused irritation to your lungs and throat which need to be treated. The burns will heal up in about a week or longer , but you will have scars for a long time after. Increased mucus production lead to reflex coughing. The mucus may be either clear or black depending on the degree of burned particles deposited in the lungs. Your lungs have been drained and your drip contains anti-biotics for you burns. You are being treated for carbon monoxide poisoning so you need to stay in for at least 2-3days. The symptoms of this are headaches nausia and vomiting. You also need a blood test'

'Why, whats the blood test for?' Brendan said only being able to comment on the most recent thing she said.

'Complete blood count: This test is done to determine if there are enough red blood cells to carry oxygen, enough white blood cells to fight infection, and enough platelets to ensure clotting can occur.'

'Right.'

'This tube, contains oxygen. This will help cure the monoxide poisoning and it is important you inform a member of staff if you want to move.'

'okay, okay' Brendan said. This was too much to take in. How had he been that badly hurt when he was only in there for about 15 minutes. Steven ,must be worse off.

'And what about Steven? Steven Hay? He was in the fire, it was in his home.'

' Steven is in a coma induced by severe carbon monoxide poisoning. He is stable but he is still struggling to breathe. We will inform you of any updates' She said and smiled then nodded to Cheryl and left.

Brendan sat back on his bed feeling sick and listened to Cheryl going on about the club and random gossip he didn't really care about. He felt groggy and heavy so he let himself drift off .

xxxx

Brendan woke up and Cheryl wasn't beside his bed. He sat up and looked around. It was so quiet in here and he hated it. He sat up further and threw his shaky legs over the side of the bed.

He put some weight on his feet, checking that he could stand up , then lifted himself on to them fully. He swayed slightly but he didn't fall. He grabbed the heart beat monitor and took it off the end of his finger. Then he grabbed the stand containing his drip and oxygen and used it to support him. The oxygen tube up his nose moved slightly and it felt horrible. He coughed violently and his throat ached and burned . He forgot the nurse had gone to get something for his throat, he must have fallen asleep before she came back.

The burn on his leg was painful to walk on, every time his muscle contracted it felt like someone was scratching it.

He reached the end of his ward and walked out the door , wishing there was a sign to intensive care. He walked left trying to avoid any doctors or nurses that might spot him. He reached a vending machine and bought a bottle of water for his throat. He reached another corner and looked through windows looking for Steven.

He didn't want anyone to know he had gone to see him. Didn't want people to think he cared about him or get ideas. He gulped down some water and coughed again violently and then groaned at the pain. He looked through another window and saw Steven lying down on a bed with a tube stuck down his throat forcing him to breathe. He walked in and Stood beside the bed.

Steven was pale his usual golden skin was a shade of grey. He had purple rings around his eyes and his chest heaved unnaturally from the pair of substitute lungs attached to the side of his bed. The plastic pumps went down and Stevens chest went up. He felt sick, Steven couldn't even breathe by himself. He knew he wouldn't have long before he was caught in here. He wanted to kiss Steven so badly. Kiss colour back into his pale lips. Kiss golden tones into his skin, kiss his chest so he could breathe by himself but he couldn't. He had let himself lose control and look what happened. This was god telling him to stay away from Steven. He needed to find a girl and get married and have a wife and children or he wasn't a man.

He wished he could save Steven. When he was younger, he always wanted to be superman. Wished he could fly away from his dad and be strong. When Cheryl fell over once he had wrapped a red towel around his neck so it fell over his back like a cape and ran to her putting a plaster on her cut knee and kissing it better. She had laughed so hard she stopped crying and it was moments like that that made Brendan feel like he had worth. That he had something to live for. Then he would see the way his dad looked at him like a piece of crap on his shoe and he realized what he truly was: worthless and weak. Then he would go back to being an empty shell which no one loved him enough to fill. He never lived he just existed day by day.

He head a doctor coming down the corridor so he stroked Stevens cheek and prayed for god to keep him safe and walked out down the corridor and turned the corners back to his ward. He collapsed onto his bed and wanted to cry but he couldn't, he felt no emotion and he was numb. Seeing Steven like that made him want to rip his own heart out and give it to him, give everything he could to him and curl up into a little ball and die because he was worthless compared to Steven and he was the one dyeing in intensive care.

xxxx

Brendan had been to visit Steven every day. He prayed to god that he would be okay every time. He had been in hospital for three days and he was feeling a lot better. He could breathe easier and his cough was clearing up slowly. The doctors said he could be discharged if he had someone to take over his care at home.

Of course Cheryl had said she would so Brendan sat down while the doctors prodded and poked at him getting him ready to leave. The blood test they had done showed he was fine in that area which ment he was healthy enough to be allowed outside on his own. He still needed antibiotics and the dressing on the burn on his leg needed to be changed every day or so. He could do that by himself though and he just wanted to leave this place and get into his own bed. The harsh white lights made his head pound and the bed was uncomfy and it smelled of sickness and anti septic.

When the doctors were done Brendan was put in a wheelchair he didn't need and wheeled to his own car that Cheryl had driven up here. Of course no one knew he had walked to Stevens bed every day unattended and then walked back on his own. She put him in the passenger seat and sat in the drivers seat.

' you sure your okay to leave Brendan? You look so pale'

'I'm fine Chez can we please just go? You don't have to drive you know.'

'It must be painful driving with that nasty burn on your leg, im just helping out Bren;

'Yeah yeah just stop fussing. I promise i'm fine, it's Steven we should be worrying about.' Brendan remembered his face when he last visited. He looked like he could be dead . If it wasn't for his weak heartbeat and his moving chest Brendan would have thought he was.

'yeah , poor lad. Good job you pulled him out Brendan . You're a hero' She said and beamed at him while she pulled out of the hospital car park.

'Eyes on the road Chez, jesus!'

'Yes, i am'

He hated Cheryl driving his car. She was so careless sometimes he would be surprised if they made it home alive.

'Lindsay is so please your coming home , she's making us tea tonight. Your favorite irish stew of course.'

'Mmmmm, hospital food definitely made me crave a good Irish stew.' He said dreamily. The bread tasted like cardboard and he had hardly eaten anything in days. His appetite was gone when he was filled with worry .

Cheryl's ma used to make the best Irish stew, it was one of the perks of living with her. Every sunday they had it and it was heaven.

'remember that time when you dropped your plate on the floor? I thought you were going to cry.'

'Chez it was irish stew, of course i was going to cry!'

She laughed as they remembered. Brendan had just been told to mop the floor and didn't leave it to dry before going to sit down with his tea. He slipped and dropped it on the floor and it went everywhere, he almost wanted to cry because he was so hungry. He saw his dad gaze at him in the way he did and he knew what was coming as soon as they were out of sight. He just prayed it would only be a beating because he was still sore from last night and he really really didn't want his da to rape him again.. of course he did.

Brendan squeezed his eyes shut at the painful memory and Cheryl stopped giggling thinking he was falling to sleep and turned the radio down a bit.

xxx

Ste opened one eye. It felt sticky and blurry and all he could see was white. He groaned because everything hurt and clamped his eye shut again. He had no idea where he was or why. There was a big tube down his throat and he couldn't swallow, the saliva in his mouth was uncomfortable and all he could taste was plastic. He breathed and it felt weird which mad him cough and choke and open his eyes. A doctor came running over then and shined a light in his eyes. Ste wanted to tell him to fuck off. The light hurt his eyes and he wanted to know why the fuck he was in what looked like a hospital. The doctor spoke to him but he couldn't make out properly what he was saying. He just groaned when the doctor stuck something in his arm making him sleepy and he shut his eyes.

xxxxx

The next time Ste awoke the tube in his mouth was gone, he ached everywhere and his throat burned. He looked next to the bed and was surprised to see Brendan their sat with his head in his hands. Ste coughed violently and Brendan stood up grabbing some water and holding it to Stevens lips so he could drink it. He finished and Brendan moved the cup away again.

'Nice of you to join us , Steven'

'Wha' what happened?' Ste said voice hoarse.

'You fell asleep with the oven on Steven ,almost killed yourself. I came back and your whole house was on fire. So i..' Brendan didn't know whether to tell Steven he saved him from the fire. He might get the wrong idea and start going on about love and stupid things like that. But he knew Cheryl was bound to tell him anyway. 'I pulled you out , you were in the bath. Almost killed us both, Steven'

'You went in there? for me, why?'

Brendan looked at Ste like he was an idiot. 'Because i couldn't just let you die..You have two children Steven'

'So do you! You could have died Brendan!' He coughed and Brendan looked at him. Hated seeing him in pain.

'My children are better off without me'

'Don't say that every child needs a dad'

'no thankyou then?' Brendan said changing the subject.

'Thankyou for saving me life Brendan, even though i think you're an idiot'

'Thought i'd lost you' Brendan said like a fucking idiot. He forgot to keep his guard up around Steven sometimes and he hated it. Steven probably thought he was a soppy git now.

'Yeah well thought i'd stick around' Steven said quietly then smiled and coughed again.

'Amy was here, she went to go give the kids some lunch i think. She doesn't know i'm here and i wont let her find out. I need to go soon anyway so.'

'No wait, just stay please' Steven said and Brendan couldn't leave. He literally felt like Stevens words had tied him to his chair and he hated the effect the boy had on him. Wished he could hate him.

'OK , i'm not staying long though. You need to rest anyway.'

Ste looked at Brendan properly for he first time since he woke up. He looked pale, stubble around his neck and a small scar on his exposed chest from something being stuck into him. He had a gauge on his arm and he wasn't wearing a suit. Just a button up shirt ( unbuttoned at the top)and some joggers. Ste felt bad for putting Brendan through this but he still couldn't understand why he had come in after him. Brendan didn't love Ste , he probably didn't even know what love meant so why did he almost die for him.

'Did yeh get badly hurt?'

'No, you know me Steven nothing can hurt me.'

'I don't believe you' Steven said seriously and Brendan caved in.

'I was no were near as bad as you. I just passed out before they got me into the ambulance, got a few burns. I was fine , let me out after 3 days.'

Steven looked away.

'Im sorreh'

'You don't need to be sorry , I't was my fault Steven'

'hmm' Steven said disagreeing but he didn't have the energy to argue.

He let his eyes closed peacefully while he chatted to Brendan about Cheryl and the club. He was out in a few minutes.

xxx