Disclaimer: Don't own supernatural.
Warning: Contains M/M slash and male pregnancy.
Chapter Four
Things had been going great up until a certain point or at least Sam would have thought so. His nausea wasn't causing him that much of a problem anymore and he was getting used to the implications of what he caused help inspire him to try to find an alternate way to stop the end of the world without saying yes to Lucifer. But most of all was the love for the trickster he hadn't known how to place and instead put it in a secured part of his heart that he convinced himself was so that he could keep it safe.
Thinking back, Sam wondered when karma got so bad because honestly, he couldn't have seen what was coming and it was one gigantic mess coming back and slapping him in the face.
Loki wasn't Loki. He wasn't even the trickster like he had told them he was and knowing that now, Sam also knew that he was another one of those douchebag angels although quite different in the fact that he didn't seem to be rooting for a particular side. He did run away from home to join the pagans anyhow. That didn't change anything in his mind though and he was simply hurt beyond what he could even comprehend at the moment.
"You bring Cas back first and then we talk about this."
Dean voice filtered through his head, bringing Sam back to the present and seeing as how the angel wasn't going anywhere, Sam found himself wishing he would just go away so it would go back to last week where Loki called and warned him about the hunt or the time he spent half the night texting him and got his mind off of the need to vomit. Why couldn't his life be more simple? Why was it always taking things away from him?
With a casual snap of his fingers, the supposed demigod did just that and Sam saw that even though Cas seemed a little beaten up, he was just fine. He joined Dean's side and even though Sam was feeling the particular feeling that could only happen whenever he realized that Dean would never allow himself to be happy with Cas. It just made him feel even worse so he shook his head of the thought and ignored Loki's look of inquiry.
"So which one are you? Grumpy, Sneezy or Douchey?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice since both Dean and Cas had no idea about his feelings and even the trickster had to think their relationship only extended to friends with some sort of benefit. They only had sex about three times after all.
"They call me Gabriel," he finally answered.
"The archangel," Dean said in disbelief interrupting them and looking seriously upset. "What did daddy say when you left to join the pagans?"
Gabriel glared at him and Sam could agree with him in some level. Dean didn't have to rub salt on the wound so to speak but then again he never ran from his father. Not like Sam did. Sam wanted to say he was hurt and he couldn't find it in his heart to forgive being lied to like this but it was a lie. He hated to admit it. He didn't want to. He loved Gabriel. He did and even though the archangel lied to him, he found himself wanting to forgive and forget because even though he outright lied about a bunch of things, it was Gabriel that cheered Sam up when he thought Dean was no longer wanting to be on speaking terms with him. Gabriel talked about nothing important and spent hours of his time making Sam laugh when he thought Dean really wanted him to pick a hemisphere and stay there. And as much as he wanted to deny it, now that he knew he was an archangel, it didn't change who he actually was. Yeah he wasn't a pagan god but he had the same personality, same thought, and his feelings were the same.
His brain was trying to fight what his heart already felt. It was a losing battle.
"So how did you know it was me?" Gabriel asked instead, ignoring the question.
"Well let's just say that nobody gets that mad unless they are talking about family. Now why would you join the pagans and what did daddy say when he found out that you ran away?" Dean asked repeating his previous question.
"Daddy doesn't talk about much anymore. He hasn't been for a long time and my brothers, I may love them senseless but it doesn't mean I will put up with their fighting. I couldn't handle it so I left. On another note, how's the search for daddy coming? I take it you couldn't find him on a tortilla."
"He's not on any flat bread," Cas replied confused.
"Of course he isn't," Gabriel said slowly and Dean glared although it only made the corners of Gabriel's lip twitch upward. "I know you may be mad at me bro but I did what I thought was best at the time and you? You turned out alright. The Winchesters' influence did something good for you-"
"Don't think that you could come here after all this time and just lay this on me Gabriel," Cas told him emotionlessly. "You are the one that chose to escape responsibility. Could you be any less cruel? You abandoned several of our garrison by skipping out of heaven and yet you think you have the right to tell anyone who's right or wrong?"
"You were my favorite fledgling," Gabriel mumbled. Out loud, he continued. "I know you don't like me very much. I mean I got you beat up and who knows what else but face it boys. The prized fight is going to happen one way or another and guess what, I don't particularly care how it ends. I mean you are going to honestly tell me I'm in the wrong but who was it that popped Lucifer out of the box? Who was it exactly that helped? Yeah, so before you lay blame on me, look at yourselves because nobody in this building is without blame."
"He has a point Dean," Sam mumbled to him and ignored the glare he shot his way. "Why won't you just help us stop your brothers then if you love them so much?"
"You really want to ask me to kill them? I can't. I love them despite what they did; I think you could relate Dean."
"No, if you don't want to kill him it's fine but if we find a way to put a stop to the apocalypse then there won't be a prized fight. Don't you think? I don't want to fight my brother either and I don't want to have to." Sam knew that Gabriel was seriously thinking of it and it actually felt good to think it was because of him that Gabriel was being so reasonable. As arrogant as that was, Sam hated to think how many lovers he had in the past who more than likely thought arrogantly that he was theirs as well. He shook it off as Gabriel answered.
"Yeah and we find alternate ways and then what? It's likely to get one of us killed-"
"It's better than cowering low with some pagans while the older brothers hashed it out for centuries!" Dean snapped, patience worn thin. "I can't believe I'm listening to this. The only reason we were reasoning with you is because Sam thought you would be able to help. I don't know where you got that but we're out of here."
"…..Are you going to leave me stuck in here?" Gabriel finally asked seeing them head for the door's entrance. Dean turned around and Sam could tell even though Dean was pissed, he wasn't cruel. He hit the fire alarm and looked back as though to tell him not to forget.
"I wouldn't do that Gabriel and you know why? I don't mess with people's minds like you and your dicks for brothers. And this has nothing to do with some hissy fight that your brothers have going on, it has everything to do with you being a coward and not being able to stand up to your family. So no I'm not trapping you in here and you could look back and remember that you "owe me one". Don't say I never did anything for you."
Sam knew that he seemed to be deep in thought. Even though he followed Dean, he couldn't help but look back and see his somber pensive face. The angel would soon realize perhaps that it's not all about family loyalty but a lot do with doing what was best for the ones you cared about. Sam never understood that before and how could he have when he was addicted to the demon blood. But now he understood more than ever that if you loved someone and knew they were in the wrong, sometimes love extended to doing whatever it was possible to intervene. Even if it meant doing something you didn't want to do.
"A supernatural convention?"
Sam could tell Dean didn't like it one bit, especially knowing that Becky was there and she was pretty annoying when she wanted to be. He ignored her though and focused on Chuck as he seemed to realize what Becky had done and why the brothers had shown up.
"Yeah it's like the first ever. It's gonna be so fun," Becky stated excitedly.
Sam nodded nonchalantly although Becky probably kept on the assumption that he was excited to know everything about it. Dean rolled his eyes as she continued to explain the event despite both of the brothers hardly listening to her. Instead they looked at Chuck as though blaming him for this.
"What don't look at me, she took my phone and texted you. It wasn't like I asked you here and if you thought it was important, shouldn't you have called?"
Sam looked at him in surprise.
"We honestly haven't thought of that."
Dean mumbled something about stupid and useless with being a waste of time thrown in. He didn't hesitate to enter the hotel though and Sam was just grateful that he wasn't taking this any worse. It would've been though that Ben was visiting his grandmother and Lisa wanted him home in a couple of weeks to spend some time with her. Ever since then, he had been on the chilled side and letting hardly anything bother him. Not since the Gabriel incident anyways and Sam had really hoped that learning his identity hadn't meant that he wasn't going to continue to pop in to see Sam whenever he usually did.
"So how is it?" Becky asked making Sam arch his eyebrow in puzzlement. Looking over, he saw that Dean didn't waste some time and went straight for the mini bar. It must've been great to be able to drink when his brother thought he was too sober for something, he grumbled mentally. Alcohol made Sam's stomach churn still and taking one little sip turned to half an hour hugging the toilet that he didn't want to do and even being near it sometimes made the same thing happen. So he was going to avoid it as much as possible.
"How's what?" Sam finally asked.
Becky laughed.
"You know that Chuck never stopped writing right? So far he's got to the point that you found out that the trickster was the enigmatic archangel Gabriel. How great is it to find that there's an archangel that was willing to teach you a lesson? I mean when you first met him he was messing with you both for amusement but later he killed Dean over and over on every Tuesday imaginable. What I got from that was that he was trying to get you to realize that you couldn't save Dean and to not seek revenge because it would cause a lot of problems for both of you. I guess some lessons have to be taught the hard way right. How does the devil really look anyways? I always thought he either looked like a snake or some dragon like creature-"
"Becky," Sam breathed quickly interrupting her. "First off even the devil was an angel so he most likely looks human believe it or not. Second, I don't think I'm going to listen to this the whole convention so I'm gonna join Dean in getting smashed until I can't see straight."
Ignoring Becky's protests he went and took a seat besides Dean at the bar. He ignored Dean's amused grin knowing full well what the drinks usually cause. Instead of worrying about any of that though, he looked at his brother's drink and looked up, meeting his eyes.
"You do know that you have been getting unusually sick when it came to these drinks and eating a lot of cheese? Maybe you should just get wine so you know, you could have with the cheese-"
"Ha, ha, very funny Dean but no. I think I'll have what you have."
Dean rolled his eyes.
"It isn't going to turn out well," he mumbled instead and ordered the drink for his little brother anyways.
Sam smiled when the drink appeared before him and Dean looked weary. He had every right to be but he hadn't spent time talking to Becky about an archangel that never visited anymore. Sam didn't know when but he started to secretly miss whenever the archangel wasn't around. Of course at the time he hadn't realized that he was anything but the trickster but Sam had since cooled off and forgiven the archangel since he didn't mean to lie, he joined the pagans and went as Loki so in a way he wasn't lying because he saw himself as the trickster for so long.
"So what should I tell the doctor when he asks why you spent an hour throwing up?"
"I don't need to see the doctor Dean. I told you we have more things to worry about than my nausea." Sam glared even though Dean just laughed amusedly and took a sip of his own drink whilst watching Sam hesitate despite saying he wasn't worried. "On another note what is this drink called?"
"It's a screwdriver Sammy. It's good and if you don't throw it back up in five minutes, you'll enjoy it."
Sam decided it couldn't be that bad and took a little sip.
Wincing at the bitter taste, he shot a look to Dean who looked more than a little amused now. Seeing his brother inquiring expression though, he gave a small laugh and pat him on the back.
"You asked for the same thing as me Sam and I got one with mostly vodka in it. It isn't true strong for you is it?"
Sam was about to shake his head and froze. The nausea that was barely there seemed to come back with a vengeance now and he attempted to at least wait it out. He swallowed a couple of times ignoring Dean who looking more amused by the second.
"You do realize that once you admit that you're going to get sick, I am going to take you to the doctor afterwards because this shit ain't healthy. Who gets sick drinking alcohol?" Of course Dean would think that that was abnormal.
Sam groaned though and quickly slapped a hand over his mouth and swayed a little. The tiny sip didn't make him drunk so he figured it had to do with the driving all night and the adrenaline from the text message coming back to haunt him. Dean rolled his eyes and quickly helped him over there but turned away when Sam threw up what seemed to him as breakfast and yesterday's meals as well. Leaning his forehead against the cool porcelain, Sam waved for Dean that he was okay and watched him look in disbelief. His brother was never going to stop now.
"Listen Sam, when you're finished, give me a ring. Don't try to get up, okay? I'm going to end this little party early and not only because I saw so many look like us trying to act like us as well. I'm going to talk to Chuck though so stay there until I get back or until you feel you aren't so nauseous anymore. Hell maybe it's a good thing you are unable to keep down even a tiny bit of alcohol. It just means that you won't be able to try to rid yourself of your problems through drinking and become an alcoholic."
Sam just smiled and nodded.
Seeing as Dean left reassured that Sam wasn't going anywhere he groaned. This was not what Sam had planned to do when he found out it was a convention. He really wanted to forget everything but knew alcohol wasn't the answer anyways. He just felt too sick to the stomach right now to be annoyed or angry with the wannabe Sams and Deans wanting to be them.
"It so does not look like fun being sick."
Sam looked over in surprised happiness but couldn't help but let out a groan followed by more retching. He hated getting sick and knew he should have skipped the alcohol. Stupid Becky and her stupid reading ahead and knowing about every single problem they had. He hoped she hadn't read the sex scenes for kicks. He hoped the book didn't have his and the archangels sex scenes in there!
"This is a shitty convention," Gabriel continued. "For one they don't even have chocolate and for another they don't do any favors by getting my favorite Winchester sick."
Sam looked up in shock but Gabriel went on as though he didn't notice.
"I know you're getting sick but we need to talk and if we have to have it in a bathroom, I'm okay with that too."
Sam nodded although he was a little confused. He didn't say it of course but he knew Gabriel probably knew anyways. He always knew the little things for some reason or another. It made him wonder why he hadn't suspected it in the first place because Gabriel knew things about him and Dean that a simple pagan god shouldn't know.
"About what?" Sam asked. "I'd probably tell you that it's bad to talk in a bathroom for the sake of a serious conversation but I don't really feel all that good at the moment and it's beginning to make me mad."
"It's okay. We can talk here when you don't feel like your insides are coming out."
"Why did you stop coming over?" Sam asked the question he wanted to ask since they found out Gabriel's true identity. At the archangel's questioning gaze, Sam continued to explain. "I forgave you for mystery spot and I forgave you over and over again even after that. I knew I was going to forgive you for this too. Why must you think I would come to hate you?"
Gabriel chuckled and Sam felt his nausea was finally becoming a background annoyance once more. Wiping his chin with toilet paper, he let himself fall back onto Gabriel's shoulder, laying his head there and being truly thankful that the archangel wasn't hot and sweaty like Sam felt. Gabriel was pretty cool in fact and it was doing wonders.
"I honestly thought you wouldn't want me coming around anymore but I guess I should have talked to you first." Gabriel finally said and Sam nodded eagerly.
"Yeah, you should have. Assumptions are only going to hurt you in the end. I forgive you though so it's okay." Sam mumbled against Gabriel's shoulder.
Gabriel looked amused as he threaded his hand through Sam's sweaty hair. It felt good and Sam was almost to point of sleep when Gabriel asked.
"Why would you forgive me so easily though? I always do bad things that end up hurting you."
"I love you." Sam told him aloud without even thinking.
Feeling arms tighten around him, Sam let out a small smile. Sure he hadn't meant to admit that so soon but seeing as how Gabriel didn't seem to be running to the mountain side to get away from Sam's confession, Sam smiled more broadly. He missed the archangel's mouth when he tried to kiss him however and pouted.
"No sex when you're sick, it's unhealthy and I like the clothes I'm in. Besides you probably taste like vomit since you have been vomiting." Gabriel added with a smirk.
Sam nodded and lay against his shoulder again, his arms going around Gabriel as a way to make sure he wouldn't leave. He didn't want him to leave him now even though he knew it couldn't be for long since Dean would come back soon.
"I'm not going anytime soon so Dean could deal if he sees you like this. I'm taking care of his little brother and I'm going to help. I'm not willing to kill my brothers but there have to be ways to stop everything without that. If there is we'll find it."
Sam smiled and found his eyelids growing heavy. He heard Gabriel chuckle and a kiss was dropped on his sweaty forehead.
"Get some sleep. When you wake up, you'll feel better I promise."
"Love you Gabriel. I loved you when you were Loki too. I think my heart knew before I did that I loved you and have since I first met you. Please don't run away though. I love you too much to lose you right now."
He was slowly losing his battle to stay awake but even then he wouldn't forget for a long time the words that came from Gabriel then. It seemed almost too good to be true because Gabriel was hardly ever serious and acting like he was now, it just didn't sound like Gabriel. But his words helped convince Sam and he let himself drift off knowing Gabriel wouldn't let anything happen to him. Throughout this all Gabriel never did stop threading a hand through his hair and he had to admit it felt good. If he could think of one of the best moments in time, it would be this. He didn't have a single worry nor was he stressed about something he had done. The sad enough thing was, he never thought he had ever been this content, even when he was in Stanford.
Gabriel had said it though.
He had said in a snort, "Why would I run goof ball? Why would I run when I love you too?"