Raven walked into the Titan's briefing room last of all, which was highly unusual for her. She'd been puzzled by Beast Boy's unusually competent performance at the shopping mall. She'd always know her teammate wasn't genuinely stupid- lord knows, he'd never have been allowed on the team if that were the case- but she had assumed him to be abysmally ignorant. Now she was finding out that she might have been overly hasty in her judgement. What else didn't she know about her green friend?

She entered the briefing room to see her fellow Titans seated around a round table. Robin gave her a nod and began speaking.

"Now that we're all here, we can begin the briefing. First, though, I'd like to go over a few points from today's bomb threat. First, I'd like to congratulate each and every one of you on the way we deployed at the start. We moved out immediately and smoothly, just as it should be. I'd especially like to congratulate Cyborg on his idea to link the T-cars GPS to his system. You got us to the mall in record time" The assembled Titans smiled (except Raven, but even she loosened her body language) at the rare praise from their demanding leader. Cyborg in particular sported a huge cheesy grin.

"Second, Star and Raven, we need to work on your crowd control skills. The evacuation didn't proceed

as well as it might have. Star, you shouldn't allow people to argue with you in this situation. Their lives are at stake and we don't have time to explain things to everyone who asks. Just keep them moving, and tell them you'll answer their questions outside." The orange girl nodded, and Robin smiled a bit. That's one of the things he liked about Starfire, she was always willing to learn. "And Raven, you have to reassure them a bit while they're moving. I'm not talking about a long speech, but just make sure they know that we have the situation in hand. You barely said anything at all other than 'keep moving'. Remember these people are frightened and stressed, and about a heartbeat away from panic." Raven grimaced, but nodded.

"Third, Beast Boy," Robin turned to the green teen who was leaning back in his chair with his feet on the table, and his arms crossed behind his head. "you did well with the bomb, but I NEVER want to see that kind of recklessness from you again! What the hell were you thinking?" The changeling was so surprised by this that he nearly lost his balance.

"What?! Dude! I totally saved the day, and instead of a 'Well done' like everyone else gets, I get 'what the hell were you thinking' ?! This blows!" The green boy crossed his arms and glared at his leader.

Robin wanted to yell but remembered his mentor's advice about keeping calm. "You did very well Beast Boy, and I'm extremely impressed, but lets look at the situation. We had less than five minutes to find and deal with a bomb, of unknown design, which was hidden in a large crowded building. You were spectacularly lucky that you were able to find the bomb, and should consider it a minor miracle that you were able to get it out in time, and a MAJOR miracle that you weren't killed. Next time, either be sure you can pull it off safely, or help evacuate the crowd. Better the bomb should go off in an empty building than we lose a teammate." The rest of the team nodded at this.

Beast Boy wasn't mollified, but seemed willing to let it ride. How can one be mad at ones friends for being concerned about him? "Yeah well, not a lot of time to think about it today, Rob. But I get what you're saying"

Robin opened the large file folder that lay on the table in front of him, a download Batman had sent him to help brief the team.

"What I'm about to read to you is Batman's confidential file on the Joker. Its contains a brief bio, documents his favorite targets, and has what is probably the most complete analysis of his abilities and weaknesses. I want you all to pay very close attention and don't hesitate to ask questions. With the Joker there are no stupid questions, other than the ones you don't ask. Umm… yes, Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy's hand had shot up. "Aren't we taking this a little too seriously? I mean, I know the guys killed, like, thousands of people, but c'mon! We've got superpowers! He's just some nut in a costume that needs to spend some time in a tanning booth! Why don't we just find him, kick his butt, and send whats left back to that asylum in Gotham?" Cyborg and Starfire both nodded.

Again, Robin felt like yelling. No, he felt like screaming. They didn't understand! He took a deep breath and simply said "I'm also just some guy in a costume. Who wants to step into the training room and pit their powers against me?"
Total silence.

Robin smirked. "All right, lets get started. Name: Unknown, thought to be Jack or Joseph. Alias: The Joker. History.." Robin looked up from the papers "A lot of this is in Batman's private jargon, with dates and references. I'll spare you that."
"Thanks oh merciful leader" quipped Beast Boy.

"The short version is this: one night, Batman was investigating a reported break-in at Ace Chemicals. He arrived in time to catch the gang in the act, and routed them following a short battle. Unfortunately for the world, the gang's leader- a masked man calling himself the Red Hood- fell into a vat of chemicals during the brawl. He emerged at the other end of the pipeline … as the Joker.

The chemicals had dyed his skin white and his hair green, as well as destroying his sanity. Yes, Raven?"

Raven lowered her hand "Exactly what is the Joker's specific mental problems?"

"we may never know for sure. His behavior is radically different from day to day. Some experts theorize that he totally reinvents himself every day, in response to the wildly changing data his damaged brain takes from the world around him. However, its clear that he is a sociopath and a psychopath, as well as suffering from severe mania. Anything further?"

Raven shook her head and replied "No further questions but one comment. You all know I'm an empath. Empaths often have…problems with the insane, whose brains by definition aren't working the same as other peoples. I want to let you guys know that I may not be at my best."

Robin scribbled something in the margins of the file. "We'll come back to that later. Anyway, to resume. The Joker has had a long and varied career as a master criminal, amassing millions of dollars in loot and murdering literally thousands of people. Some of his more notable 'achievements' include crippling the first Batgirl, stealing Mr. Mxylplk's powers to become omnipotent, attempting to copyright a species of fish, attempting to gas the UN General Assembly, stealing a cruise missile and killing the second Robin."

"Powers and Abilities: The Joker possesses no superpowers, save a remarkable resistance to toxins. However, and I'd like you all to pay attention to this, Batman notes that this acts a sort of power all its own. Many superpowered adversaries have dismissed the Joker as a mere human, only to discover how dangerous underestimating him really is. Since that lesson generally proved fatal, I'd kinda like you guys to take him seriously right from the start.

The Joker possesses a powerful intellect, and a total lack of scruples. He is a virtual genius in chemistry, being able to concoct his trademark poisons from virtually any chemicals he has to hand. He's shown similar ability in creating weapons from unusual materials. He's demonstrated considerable skill with computers, disguises, mechanical engineering, and biology. He's a master manipulator, and was able to drive his psychologist crazy in less than a year. "

Cyborg raised his hand "That'd be Harley Quinn, right?"

"Right, but more on her later."

"Here's hoping…" Cyborg muttered, only to receive a lever 3 Glare from Raven "What? The clown girl is hot!"

"Dude, I don't need to hear about your weird clown fetish" Beast Boy quipped, and before Cyborg could do more than sputter incoherently, the green teen continued "Lets just let the Boy Wonder continue briefing us about this murderous Macguiver, this Larcenous Leonardo Da Vinci, this…"

"Uhm…yeah." Robin said, a large bead of sweat forming on his head "Moving right along… Joker is fluent in several languages including Spanish, Arabic and Farsi. Finally, the Joker is an above-average fighter with weapons such as crowbars, mallets, knives and guns, but isn't so hot at hand-to-hand combat. He's stronger than he looks though, so don't get cocky.

Known Patterns of Behavior:…Um…the main one is Batman. In the past everything the Joker did was in someway centered around killing, hurting, or humiliating Batman. However, he's left Gotham, and so I don't think we can count that one anymore."

"Of course ya can" Cyborg interrupted "Isn't it obvious, ROBIN? You're here, and you're Batman's former sidekick. He's here to kill you to strike at Batman"

Starfire gasped and her eyes flashed green fire "He shall NOT harm Robin!"

"Whoa! Easy Star!" Robin said, trying to calm the alien girl "Let's all try to keep calm. Joker is dangerous enough without us flying off blind with rage. I'll be fine so long as everyone takes this seriously and keeps their heads, Okay?" the alien girl nodded and Robin resumed "Apart from that the Joker usually finances his schemes with robberies, protection rackets, blackmail rings, and more recently cybertheft. Which means we can't just count on him running out of money or getting desperate.

Usually, the Joker employs an average of twelve hired goons to act as muscle. In this case, its almost certain they'll be local- unskilled and probably inexperienced."

"So basically" Beast Boy commented "Because we've kept Jump City relatively crime free, Joker's stuck with the thug version of the slow kids. Go us!"

Robin couldn't help but smirk at the changelings attitude "Wasn't what you were saying last time you had a midnight stakeout. Anyway, moving on. Notable weapons: The Joker often uses a sort of lethal laughing gas of his own concoction- generally this stuff is called Joker Venom or SmileX. There's a chemical breakdown, but I don't think you guys need to know that… its pretty nasty stuff, causing you to laugh until your heart gives out, leaving your body with a huge grin not unlike the Joker's own.

Other weapons include his weighted rubber chicken, acid-squirting boutonniere, oversized handgun, megawatt electric handbuzzer, and high explosives. That's it for the Joker. Now on to Harley Quinn"

"I'm sure Cy's all ears"
"Shut up! Damn… make one observation…"

"AHEM! Real name: Harleen Quinzel Alias: Harley Quinn . Bio: she was born into a nice normal Jewish Gotham family. Fairly good grades in high school, excellent grades in Gotham University. Um, Batman notes that many of her grades may have been earned on her back and Raven would you please explain that to Starfire later?"

"oh sure fob it off on me…" Raven droned.

"Thanks I just did. Anyway, internship at Arkham Asylum led to a number of interviews with the Joker. She fell in love with him and began secretly aiding his escapes. Its about this time we think she lost her mind."

"Really? She fell in love with a killer clown and started helping him escape? Why Robin how can you question her sanity!" Beast Boy interjected, only to be ignored by the Boy Wonder.

"Harley displays an obsession with the Joker, mania, homicidal tendencies, regression- Batman estimates her mental age as about twelve- and severe Codependent Personality Disorder. Powers and Abilities: Due to a treatment from Poison Ivy, Harley is far stronger than her small frame would normally allow. She possesses Peak Human strength and agility. She is a trained gymnast and shows some knowledge of martial arts and basic weapons use. She also has two trained hyenas that she often directs in battle. That's pretty much it. Any further questions? No? okay, then before we go I have one last piece of news.

As you all know, Gotham is pretty much undersiege right now, with every name criminal on the loose. Batman can't aid us himself right now, but he's sending us Batgirl"

Beast Boy leapt from his chair "Woohoo! Hot girl in spandex comin' our way- OW!" This last was in response to a smack upside the head from Raven. "you're a meanie, Rae"

"and you're a moron. Go on, Robin"

"Don't get too hopeful Beast Boy. Her real name is Cassandra Cain, and her father is David Cain- one of the greatest assassins in the world. She is a superb martial artist, equaled only by Batman. And before anyone asks- YES she's better than me. She's also still learning to talk- apparently her father felt that communication was a distraction to a killer. So I want everyone to help her fit in.

Dismissed"

-+-+-+-+

A/N

I realize this was an unusually long chapter- especially since its essentially just exposition. But I wanted to establish the Jokers abilities right from the get-go. I don't want to hear anyone complaining later that "Joker can't do that" or "that's impossible" or similar. I also want to dispel the image that new cartoon has created of the Joker as a 'menacing fool' if you will- dangerous but more wacky than scary. Also, yes, the Joker CAN speak multiple languages as can be seen in A Death In the Family wherein he negotiates with Iranians (Farsi) and Hezbollah (Arabic).
I also wanted to stress something from my take on Harley Quinn i.e. that she's not just a victim of the Joker but a willing participant in his crimes. Otherwise fine authors such as themadpuppy and Gladrial10 often gloss over Harley's own murderous tendencies. She's not just some poor lost waif swept along by the Joker- she's killed more than a few people herself.