Same disclamers apply...

So much for wailing and fooling around... Bleh.

AN: We have no angsty Lelouch for this chapter, sorry :D Instead we have Kallen, Gino, and Suzaku. Next chapter will be mostly from Suzaku's indirect pov, too... So, we will get to know more about what is happening in his mind all this while. And, let me say that a week has passed since that night.

Chapter 4

They did not utter a word after they left the Hall of Justice. On the way back, Suzaku sat mutely in the passenger seat as Gino drove around the city and Kallen furiously checked her folders for the afternoon's case. She was trying to keep silent for Suzaku's sake, taking her anger on the meticulously arranged and planned argument she was to present for her client. Gino was watching her from the rear-view mirror, huffing softly to himself.

"Kallen, last time I checked, you don't have laser beams that can burn papers." Gino uttered offhandedly.

Kallen gave an aggravated sigh, brows furrowed beyond recognition.

"Ha ha... Try again sometime, Gino." She challenged humorlessly and Gino smiled apologetically as he shut up.

He could understand why Kallen felt disturbed. She and Suzaku had been classmates and fast friends ever since their days in the college. Suzaku's silence had to have a bad effect on her and she was openly displaying her aggravation in Suzaku's place, too. Yet it seemed that she was at the end of her patience. She closed the folders and tucked them into her suitcase all the while making any kinds of noise to arise a reaction from Suzaku. Gino was patiently waiting.

At last she crossed her arms and leaned back.

"Say something, Suzaku!" She implored.

Suzaku didn't even glance back, he continued to watch the busy streets as their car pulled by them.

"Kallen, I made a mistake and I will take its responsibility." He sighed resignedly. His face was passive like that of a fighter's who threw in the towel in the first round. It was so unlike the Suzaku that Kallen had come to know, she suddenly felt betrayed. She took in a deep breath and her eyes met with Gino's on the mirror.

"You have changed, Suzaku." she murmured, her gaze turning to the scene the windows presented. Even Gino could catch the way how Suzaku's shoulders momentarily stiffened.

"Slowly, but how I don't know... You are not the enthusiastic Suzaku of that bleak college auditoriums any more."

"People change, Kallen... For better or for worse..." Came the answering murmur which drew another sigh from her lips.

In the morning, Kallen and Suzaku had attended to the same case in the assize court, defending a group of businessmen from a renowned company who were framed by their higher ups with charges of fraud and money laundry. The case seemed as one of the usual ones they frequently got, yet as they worked with the inspectors from the ministry of labor and social security, they got clues that let them to suspect some political figures' involvement. What made today a disaster was Suzaku's mistake on forgetting to bring in some crucial evidence folders which he had been working on for a few days.

He also couldn't believe how he did it, but this mistake cost them a valuable hearing time and some snide remarks from the company's lawyers. He covered his mistake by his persuasive private speech that he requested from the judge, claiming that there were some last minute changes in their arguments to be discussed with their sources. Yet, all in all, the knowledge of letting a good change slip by because of a simple mistake like that and wait for another week to the next appointed hearing was a blow both to himself and Kallen. She was not someone who couldn't tolerate mistakes, since the case was not hers to begin with, but she was afraid in Suzaku's name who would probably be the victim of some ugly rumors among their job circle about his rapidly deteriorating attention and skills.

The way Suzaku seemed so passive about the event was unnerving on many levels for both Gino and Kallen. They knew Suzaku for such a long time that they were dumbfounded by the repeating mistakes he was committing recently. Actually, they deemed this week as a disaster on Suzaku's part. This was the third mistake of his in a row and they were certain that their manager Bismarck, who was an ex-public prosecutor, would call him to hear an explanation. And Kallen was feeling responsible.

When the car stopped the others turned to look at Gino who was smiling one of his usual aloof grins.

"What?" He asked, light blue eyes dancing in mock innocence. "Aren't you hungry?"

They got out and followed him into the restaurant not very enthusiastically. The midday hour was busy with workers and businessmen who wanted to get something to eat whilst they have a nice chat with their colleagues, yet this particular restaurant had a calm atmosphere with less patrons scattered around the tables here and there.

They went to their usual table since they were frequent patrons there and ordered their meals. Suzaku was playing with his food as he was glancing at the clock frequently. Gino, who was sitting opposite to him, tried to ignore the repetitive gesture by making his usual taunts to Kallen, yet even though she played along his game to cheer up the table, it was becoming impossible for them to ignore Suzaku's compulsive manner.

"I know that your afternoon hearing is at two thirty, Suzaku, so please stop beaming holes at the poor old clock."

Kallen snorted as Suzaku looked up to him, face full of surprise, but his eyes quickly narrowed down again and he shrugged dismissively.

"Right..." Muttered Kallen. "Would you please at least talk to us?" Her voice didn't carry the politeness of the words.

"What shall I say, Kallen?" Suzaku's interest focused on her.

"God, how I feel for Lelouch..." She declared exasperatedly. "How can he survive an evening with a stone man beside him without dying from the lack of communication?"

Though Gino smirked at the remark, the way Suzaku's lips tightened didn't escape from him.

"Suzaku, we have been friends for what, seven years? Please don't take our worry as stuffing our noses into your life, but if there is anything we could do..."

"No, there isn't..." He cut off.

They felt momentarily taken aback by Suzaku's unapproachable attitude. Yet Kallen couldn't help but ask.

"Are you ill?"

"I guess I am not getting enough sleep lately." Suzaku confessed.

"And may I ask the reason?"

Suzaku sighed, unable to refrain from glancing at the clock again.

"The reason is Lelouch..."

Gino, as expected from him, nearly burst into laughing by the implication of Suzaku being kept awake because of Lelouch... The mental image was alone enough to make him crack up. Yet Kallen quickly elbowed him at his side, effectively helping him sober up immediately.

For the first time in a week a small smile touched Suzaku's lips.

"Not like that, Gino." He corrected, but humor quickly drained away from his face. "We are having some problems." And he continued to play with his food, cutlery clink clanking as Gino and Kallen patiently waited and hoped for Suzaku to elaborate.

After a few minutes of silence when they gave up waiting for him and opted for continuing their meals, Suzaku spoke yet again.

"We... had a big argument and now the house seems like a hell hole for the both of us..." Suzaku swallowed finding it difficult to talk about this even though these two were like a brother and sister to him that he never had.

Kallen's eyes widened in disbelief. "Kidding, right?" She murmured. Suzaku shook his head. It was unbelievable for them to imagine a cross Suzaku and Lelouch, let alone picturing them whilst arguing. They had been such a fine couple for nearly six years that Lelouch being the cause of Suzaku's recent lack of attention and repeating mistakes was unthinkable for them.

Gino's sobered up face showed his concern for his friends. "You must reconcile somehow, Suzaku... Maybe you could take a leave for a week to make things up..."

"Yeah..." Kallen agreed with worry, "If you want I can talk to him as I used to do in the college..."

Suzaku sighed. "I believe that we can solve this between us, Kallen... And your interference might anger him more." He said, remembering that there was no way for anyone to reach Lelouch by any means. He didn't want anybody to pester him which could expose the fact that he was practically locking Lelouch up in his own house.

"And the problem is with Lelouch, not with me, so I will somehow show him what he is doing to us..."

The air of certainty that the words carried made Gino and Kallen frown inwardly, but they didn't pay any attention to it.

"So what are we going to do about Bismarck?" Asked Kallen to change the unpleasant topic with another unpleasant but less personal one.

"I will shoulder the blame for the incident, Kallen, please don't worry yourself about it."

Kallen simply slammed her water glass, apparently offended by his words, her deep blue eyes ablaze.

"I am not worrying to save my own ass here, Suzaku!" She declared harshly, causing the patrons around them glance at their way for a few seconds. Gino covered his face, chuckling.

"Man, you could be such an idiot sometimes, making a fine lady shout things about her curvy body parts in public."

Suzaku would very much like to laugh at Gino's antics, but he was severely aware of the situation he dug himself in.

"Gino!" After another well aimed jab of her elbow into Gino's ribs, she huffed and continued.

"That man wants your head on a plate since the day people started talking about electing you as the new manager... I am worried about the outcomes in your name..."

Gino stopped eating. "Being perfect has some costs, Suzaku; such as leaving no tolerance for small mistakes."

"I am far from being perfect, Gino." Suzaku tried to take a few bites.

"Hah! If you say so, then it is no wonder that Bismarck treats me like crap. We people aren't superhuman, I get that; but at least don't forget to give yourself some credit."

"So you really think that I am royally screwed..." Suzaku commented without humor.

"Well, people will think that it is unforgivable for someone with your reputation. Suzaku, you see that, don't you? You created such a strong image around yourself that upon your smallest mistake the sharks are ready to take a bite from you. Bismarck can be tolerant this once if you tell him about the reason you told us; yet there are vultures like Luciano who are waiting for an opening to hamper your chance to become the next manager of the firm."

Kallen agreed. "He bares his teeth every time he sees one of us around since we are a team. That bastard would be overjoyed if we lose our credibility and reputation as the top lawyers of the firm."

Suzaku massaged his temples. He was aware of that, aware that he was swimming in muddy waters recently. It was adding to his agitation to deal with the rivalry within the firm when he was having such a big crisis with Lelouch at home. Yet, there was nothing he could to about it, other than being extra careful about his work to save both his and his friends' names from undesired rumors.

They finished their by now tasteless meals and left for the firm to gather their documents for the afternoon hearings of some other cases that they individually followed. Suzaku tried to keep his gaze away from the clock and his hands away from his cell phone to give his best for the rest of the day. He never knew that concentration was an art in its own right.

The hearing lasted for about two hours since the case was a complicated one issued against the state by a group of civil servants. Yet he managed to somehow impress the judge and the surveyors, which left no chance for losing the case after the hearing ended on his favor.

He didn't wait for Kallen and Gino, and simply drove away in his own car to the firm. He had been working for the same firm since he graduated from the law school and slowly but surely built himself a name of a lawyer who boasted with never losing a case. His close friends became his team, together they attended many cases and helped each other with individual ones for nearly three years. Their firm was the biggest one of the city and hence the most successful one. Yet, for three months, there had been a clear rivalry going on withing the sections.

Suzaku, Kallen and Gino were criticized for taking on cases only when they believed that their client was the real abused party. Bismarck tolerated this since they came clean and victorious each and every time, causing their firm's name appear on the news and papers with glory. But there were some people like Luciano who had the reputation of being the nightmare of the prosecutors with his ability to clear his clients' names even when they were guilty of the charges issued against them. Suzaku was sick of his methodology, but he was aware that Luciano and his followers were widely applauded by some political and industrial giants. Suzaku very much knew that if their tails were caught by one of them, they were as good as dead.

Stress was eating him inside out. As he sat in his office to work on a few interrogation accounts the thought of calling it a day and going home crossed his mind. Yet, for what reason he would go? All week Lelouch avoided him like the plague. He was focusing his attention solely on the kids and his work. Suzaku knew that by now he had to have completed at least the two of the projects he had been doing. His eyes narrowed down in distaste. Those would be the last ones that Lelouch would do. Not because Suzaku was looking down on his job, but because it separated Lelouch's attention from him.

He vividly remembered the times when he was following Lelouch's every move before they even had started dating. Suzaku could easily confess that Lelouch's imagination and creations had been fascinating him. The way his elegant fingers quickly made sketches on pieces of papers as he would tell him about his new assignments would captivate him. His spirit was like quicksand, so easy to flow among so many ideas, so many thoughts. Listening to him was like a tiring but pleasant journey. To catch his attention, to make him understand his love and attraction to him, Suzaku spent so much energy that when he first kissed him and saw his blushing face and shifting eyes, he knew that every second of the trouble he went through was worth it... And the way he had to battle his father for Lelouch...

Suzaku knew that he had captured a butterfly and put it in a glass jar. He had caught the quicksand with his own fingers against so many odds, that the idea of losing Lelouch was like death to him. He had been the one who ran after Lelouch and coaxed him into a relationship that resulted in their marriage. Lelouch simply hadn't done anything to be together with him. It was as if Lelouch had left himself to the current of events and Suzaku presented him with the best option among others. Or maybe, Lelouch had just given up his walls in the face of Suzaku's insistent behavior as he courted him. Suzaku had faced the world which stood between him and Lelouch and he had battled it to have him by his side. And Lelouch was somehow just a passive observer when he stood against his despot father and even against Lelouch's family who were no better than his own.

Lack of a mother figure in his upbringing had made Suzaku build a harder shell against the world than that of Lelouch's. He seemed pleasant and easy going at first glance, but he always had to work his bones to dust for something he desired. He recalled how his father had hit him when he had said that he wanted to marry a guy. Being a high ranking general, his father simply made every day a living hell for Suzaku, though he would never accept it. Kururugi Genbu would just boast of being a wonderful father who had provided his only child with the best means and education a single parented family could afford.

He would claim that Suzaku's present success was his own miracle and his son was just an ungrateful brat who rebelled him for another man's sake... Genbu was still in denial of Suzaku's marriage and all he cared was his grandchildren Rurushu and Suzuko. His abrupt marriage after Suzaku's rebel was another wound on Suzaku's sweet side. Though his step mother was such a gentle and caring person towards both him and his children, he was still furious about the whole ordeal. Wouldn't it be good if he had her when he was still a child? Then again, wouldn't it be better if his mother were still alive to hold his hand as he stumbled through a seemingly lucky but in fact a nightmarish boyhood?

He regarded Lelouch as his home, his sanctuary. But day after day, he proved himself to be just a passer-by in his life as if somebody who was forced to be there. Suzaku thought that Lelouch never loved and saw him as the way he loved and saw Lelouch. He knew that he was loved, but not in the way Suzaku desired. As time went by he developed a compulsive jealousy when he saw that Lelouch had another life which could exist with or without Suzaku's presence. So unlike the way Suzaku saw their relationship. His life and existence were built around Lelouch, in fact, he came to know life when he met him. Lelouch was his air he breathed, his heart that he held on, his ambrosia that he lived on. How the things turned this way, Suzaku had no idea, but somehow Lelouch became his life line that he desperately needed by his side.

There was no way anyone could understand how lonely he started to feel even sitting beside him in their home. There was no way to explain his gnawing desire to keep him only to himself, just like clutching that glass jar with the precious butterfly in it against his chest so tightly. Yet somehow he understood along the way that all he could do was loving it behind the glass he put it in, afraid of setting it free in case it flew away to never come back. How couldn't Lelouch understand that Suzaku was the real prisoner in their relationship...

Time was ticking by into evening. He itched to call him from the phone he bought him a few days ago. Anyone who had the number could call Lelouch but he could only call Suzaku. It was a pain to make the salespeople understand what he wanted when he purchased it. He told them that it was for a child to use it in emergency. Such a bad lie, he was aware. Yet, he was so paranoid that something might happen to Lelouch or the kids when he was away, that he couldn't help it.

No matter how many times he glanced at the clock, deep down inside he knew that he neither had the courage to call him or go home to him. There would be nothing on the end of the line other than stuttering half hearted words, and there was nothing but an empty bed waiting for him in their house. Yet, he believed he could pull through this, too... All he needed was some time. Perhaps he could really send the kids away with his father and step mother.

A few days ago she had called him to inform him that they were planning to go to the ocean for a week and wanted the kids to come with them, too. She happily had told him that he and Lelouch could use the time for themselves, spending a couple of days peacefully. And Genbu had been complaining about how rarely he saw his grandchildren. Before ending her call, she told him that they would be waiting for his answer till this Sunday. Maybe this could be a good idea.

As his fingers shuffled between the documents, his cell rang. The ID told him that the caller was Lelouch's half brother, Rolo. He picked it up begrudgingly.

"Suzaku-san?" Came his strained voice.

"Hi, Rolo..."

"Oh, glad that at least I could reach you..." Suzaku frowned, realizing how Rolo's voice immediately relaxed.

"I have been calling Nii-san from home and his cell but couldn't reach him. Is everything alright?"

"Ah... we have a problem with the internal phone lines of the house, Rolo." Suzaku lied. "And Lelouch lost his cell a few days ago in the park. Nothing to worry about."

Rolo sighed buying Suzaku's lie.

"But I can tell it to him if you want to leave a message for Lelouch." He offered.

"Umm... Actually I was wondering if Nunally and I could come over sometime at the weekend to pay a visit? The projects nearly reached their dead lines, so I have a few things to discuss with Nii-san."

"Of course." Suzaku agreed, keeping the distaste he felt from his voice. "Is tomorrow at dinner time suitable?"

"Oh, yes!" Rolo's voice carried a heart-felt joy that reminded Suzaku of how Rolo loved and adored his precious Nii-san.

"Thanks Suzaku-san." Oh, always the polite boy he is... Suzaku though as he bid goodbye and hung up. There... He had a new problem. Could he trust Lelouch to play along his game? He didn't think so. Nunally and Rolo were of family and knew Lelouch so well... He had to think of a way to make Lelouch cooperate and stay put. Such a bother... But it was needed to keep their flawless image as a family, so he was willing to play the brute there.

He glanced at his computer screen and saw a new mail. It was from Bismarck as expected. He demanded a private meeting in ten minutes. Sighing heavily, Suzaku got up from his chair and collected a few documents and folders in his suitcase, and closed his office. He strode to the elevator for Bismarck's office, people glancing at his way and sharing murmurs that he ignored.

So, the last work day of the week seemed to be bent on leaving him with a permanent headache.

TBC...

EN: So we have the Knights of Rounds as lawyers, Genbu as a militant of a father, Suzaku as a poor mistreated young man who is still a scared boy inside... Oh, the drama.

And just for the record: Kallen and Suzaku met at the college and they were one year's senior of Gino. Suzaku and Lelouch met when they were still college students. They got married in their last year. They have been married for four years. So this makes them around what, 25 (?), considering that Lulu, Suzu, and Kallen are at the same age. Gino is one year younger. Rolo is two years and Nunally is three years younger and in her last year at the college.

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