Its been a long time huh? I've been reading ahead in the manga online and I know other people who don't read ahead so I'm not going to ruin it for everyone else. Lets just say I've been very very happy. If you do read ahead in the manga then you know what I'm talking about.
Italics like this, means Inner Hinata's talking (or more like thinking)
Parentheses like (this) mean me and Elriga and Meridia are adding our little commentary in (only for the sake of humor mind you and all of it has to do w/ the story!)
Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, we also don't own much of anything else
(This takes place during the Chuunin Exam preliminaries)
Hinata stood and watched as Kabuto bowed out of the exam. As everyone paid attention to Kabuto she went into her coat pocket and grabbed a couple of pills. As she chewed she looked around at all the contestants, until she saw Neji staring at her (epic foreshadowing!!!). Hinata looked away with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"Hey is that your asshole of a cousin?" Inner Hinata asked staring at Neji
"Y-yes…I hope I don't have to fight him"
"Heh, he's kinda sexy, maybe we should switch to him" Inner Hinata said nibbling on her fingers and still staring at Neji.
"T-That's disgusting! He's my cousin and you just said he was an asshole!"
"When has any of those two things mattered when someone's in love?"
"W-What?!"
"You should get going, everyone else is going up the stairs"
She looked up and saw Kiba beckoning wildly to her to come up the stairs. As soon as Hinata got up the stairs the computer ( wait pause stop the writing please. They have computers, yet their still using weapons from the middle ages? Where the hell are the guns and the grenades? I know they have jutsu and all but…oh wait I'm rambling again, sorry.) showed that the next fight was…
YOROI vs. SASUKE!!
"Look at Neji…undressing us with his eyes!" Inner Hinata purred.
"W-Why does he keep l-looking over here" Hinata wailed, "I-I don't think h-he's stopped watching us s-since we g-got here!"
"M-M-Maybe you should stop stuttering like and idiot and look at the match!" Inner Hinata growled mocking Hinata, "Look Sasuke has a nice ass and he doesn't wear an ugly orange jumpsuit, why don't you like him?"
"W-What if I have to face N-Neji?" Hinata muttered starting to hyperventilate, "I don't think I could take it!"
"Oh c'mon, what are the chances of that?(epic foreshadowing!)" Inner Hinata sighed, "And now look, we've missed the whole match!"
Sasuke had just leashed his Lion Barrage on poor blind Yoroi and won the match. The computer scrambled all the names again revealing that the next match was…
SHINO vs. ZAKU!!
"He's our teammate, we have to look at this one!"
"Yea but he's c-creepy, he has bugs living in his body!"
"Hey remember when he tried to get you to touch that tarantula, and you got so scared you fainted!" Inner Hinata snickered.
"Y-Yea" Hinata sighed, "That was…"
"Or what about the time Kiba and Shino but bugs in your kunai pouch so that when you reached into it a bunch of bugs came out!" Inner Hinata said cackling.
"O-Okay enough! Lets just look at the…Oh my god…"
This was about the time Shino put bugs into poor Zaku's arms, which is very creepy and disgusting.
"Wow…I didn't know Shino was so…mean"
"Really, even after all the stuff I just told you?"
"I-I just thought they were pranks…"
"If I was Zaku I would be going ballistic right now…I mean, I'd be going really crazy if he put f***ing bugs in my arms. Not cool Shino, just not cool."
After Zaku was pathetically wheeled away, the computer scrambled up all the names announcing that the next match was…
KANKURO VS. THAT…GUY…OH WHO CARES, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO SKIP THIS FIGHT BECAUSE ITS USELESS…SPEAKING OF WHICH…
SAKURA vs. INO!!
"Oh god, its those two, never mind I don't even wanna watch".
"Their both fellow kunoichi we're going to show respect and watch the match".
"Um, Hinata don't look now, but Neji is still staring at us!" Inner Hinata whispered in Hinata's head (which is totally unnecessary seeing as she's in Hinata's head so therefore no one can hear her except Hinata.).
Hinata felt a cold shiver down her back and she used her Byakugan to look around. She saw Neji staring at her, his pale eyes bearing down on her.
"W-Why w-won't he s-stop looking at me!" Hinata squealed starting to get seriously creeped out.
"Yikes, this guy is a freak, he won't stop looking at you and he looks like he wants to y'know, kill you (epic foreshadowing!).
"D-Don't say that!"
"Okay fine, oh look, the two bitches knocked each other out…how ironic"
Sakura and Ino's worthless butts were grabbed and the matches continued with…
SHIKAMARU vs. no one because we're skipping the next two fights. They have nothing to do with the story and frankly none of us here really likes these two fights. Shikamaru wins and so does Temari, and that's all you really need to know.
NARUTO vs. KIBA
"Oh, no!" Hinata lamented, putting her hands over her mouth, " Who am I supposed to root for?!"
"Huh, well you got me stumped there, Kiba smells like dog, Naruto smells like pee, and they both wear huge coats that aren't attractive at all. Their both equally unattracting."
"Naruto does not smell like pee! I've never even gotten close enough to smell him!"
"Well y'know how you look at someone and you can kind of smell them just by looking at them. That's what I smell when I look at Naruto, I smell pee."
"You're gross"
"Yea well, you have a inferiority complex and look like Dora the Explorer oh look ouch, Naruto just got pounded by Kiba!"
Hinata looked down to see Naruto lying on the ground from a punch from Kiba's "Down on All Fours: Beast Mimicry!"
"Wow, that was quick" Inner Hinata muttered scowling down at Naruto.
"Oh poor Naruto!"
"I knew he was a…oh, wait my mistake he's getting up, lets watch the crap get kicked out of him again."
Naruto staggered to his feet, blood dribbling from his mouth and yelled "Don't underestimate me!!!" "Go Naruto!" Sakura yelled from the stands.
"Back off bitch" Inner Hinata said, "He's mine!"
"Oh Naruto, I knew you could do it!" Hinata said with a smile, " And let her root for him, she is his teammate after all."
"What if it was us lying down there, I'm sure Naruto would be cheering us on (epic foreshadowing!).
"Yea you're right, but instead of cheering him on, I think I'll just stand here and show looks of worry every time he gets hurt".
"Sounds like a plan to me, oh look he's down on the ground"
(cue look of worry from Hinata)
Akamaru ran up to Kiba and then, bit him.
"Damn dog, see, this is exactly why we only like cats and lizards with ladders Hinata!"
"No, look!"
Akamaru had suddenly turned into Naruto biting Kiba. Another shadow doppelganger of Naruto's was hanging on to the real Akamaru.
"Um, that's really nasty, imagine kissing him Hinata, he'll taste like Kiba!"
"Oh, N-Naruto th--" Hinata said out loud before she was interrupted by Sakura screaming "That was awesome Naruto!"
"That's what I was going to say!" Hinata wailed in her own mind again.
"That bitch, have you noticed that she's been cutting us off and cheering for Naruto a lot lately, didn't she like hate him?"
"Y-Yea now that you mention it…"
"I hope this isn't some sort of sick foreshadowing of her liking Naruto (not so epic foreshadowing!)".
"Yea…oh no, its Kiba's ultimate taijutsu!"
"Well what is it?!"
"Its!…" (Its were skipping it, because we don't want the Chuunin exam chapter to drag on forever).
"Wow…look at Naruto lying on the ground there"
"Oh no, I hope he's all right, look at the blood coming from his mouth…"
"Yea I would hate for that to happen to us (epic foreshadowing!)".
Naruto pathetically scraped at the ground. "I'm gonna be the Hokage" he said, "I won't lose now!" "You? The Hokage?" Kiba replied with a snort, "Noone thinks you can become the Hokage, not even yourself, so how about this, I'll be the Hokage in your place!"
"Yea right" Inner Hinata snorted, "Nobody wants a Hokage who smells like a dog"
"Oh Kiba" Hinata suddenly thought, "Naruto is no weakling and I wish I had even half the confidence he's always shown in himself. His courage is amazing I…" Suddenly Hinata felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. Inner Hinata was behind her, smiling and smacking her hands together.
"Ow, what in the world was that for?!" Hinata screamed.
"Sorry I know this is one of your only monologues in the whole series but I don't want to hear it".
"W-What, what series?!"
"Sorry, its just that this battle is taking longer to end then Myst…or a game of Monopoly."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hinata logic has an uncle, his name is shut the f*** up!"
"That's not how the saying goes"
"Its gonna go however I want it to go…oh yea and Naruto's about to unleash some killer attack or something stupid like that".
Hinata looked down at the arena. Kiba was just about to punch Naruto when he farted…yea.
"That's it I'm going to become a nun".
"I would laugh but I'm not, this is just really, really sad and embarrassing. I'm glad we haven't told anyone else we had a crush on him" Inner Hinata scowled looking down as Naruto (finally) defeated Kiba with the seemingly only technique he's good at, shadow doppelgangers.
Hinata frowned a little, "Wasn't that attack almost identical to Sasuke's Lion Barrage?"
"Yes, yes it was. Lets see Naruto has ADHD, he's gay, he has no fashion sense, he smells like pee, and now he's a plagiarist…wow Hinata, you sure have hit the Jackpot on this one."
"Be quiet, he's coming up here! N-no, what should I do, what should I do?!" Hinata had started freaking out sweating and having heart palpitations.
"Oh good God, just give him the damn medicine that you didn't give him before you f***ing psycho".
Hinata handed Naruto the healing salve, which he (surprisingly) accepted and didn't break in his craziness.
"See, that wasn't so hard" Inner Hinata crooned into Hinata's ear.
"I think I'm going to be sick" Hinata moaned but still smiling at her sudden courage.
"Well I guess this isn't a good time to mention that Neji is still staring at you"
Hinata looked over to see Neji's cold lavender eye's baring down into her soul reading her every movements.
"O-Oh my G-God! Why w-won't h-he stop l-looking at me!"
"Well maybe if you hadn't of developed so quickly…"
"Stop it and help me!!" Hinata almost screamed, on the verge of tears.
"Calm down, c'mon think on it logically. There's only six contestants left, including yourself. That means you only have a 1/5 or 20% chance of facing Neji (my math isn't what it used to be so there's a high "probability" that this is wrong (tee hee I made a joke). Those aren't good odds, so you should be safe (epic foreshadowing!). Anyway if it makes you feel any better we'll get his eyes off of our back and go give dog boy some healing salve."
Hinata went down the stairs to catch Kiba before he was dragged away by the medic ninja's.
"Don't fight Neji or Gaara ,Hinata," he said, "You'd be torn to pieces."
"That bastard who does he think he is, disregarding us like that".
Before Hinata could answer Hayate had already let the computer calculate, completely at random (supposedly), who would be fighting who next.
HINATA VS. NEJI!!!
"Oh…shit" Inner Hinata murmured (in the manga you can just see the oh shit look on Hinata's face, its sad but priceless!!), "I totally didn't see that one coming…".
"Why does God hate me!?" Hinata wailed in her head, feeling the sudden need to lie down somewhere and sob.
Inner Hinata felt a sudden need to…the sudden need to run away. But before she could fade out of existence…
"Oh no you don't!" Real Hinata yelled grabbing Inner Hinata by what little hair she had, "If I'm going to get the crap kicked out of me then you're going to get it kicked out with me!"
And so both Hinata and Inner Hinata (completely unwillingly) scuttled to the center of the arena to face their half brother (their fathers are twins)/ cousin.
To be continued (epic foreshadowing!).
That took forever to finish, but I'm glad we were able to. If you haven't read ahead in the manga try it, it always gives me something good to look forward to every week. Hinata vs. Neji an epic showdown (that everyone already knows the ending to).