Chapter 4

It was five in the freaking morning by now, and I still hadn't gotten any sleep. Then again, I wasn't really trying to sleep. I was just standing by the window, staring out at what I could see of the dark village.

Kakashi was asleep on the bed, and, much to my dismay, he still had his mask on. I was going to have to rip the damned thing off of his face someday, or the curiosity would probably drive me insane.

I glanced at him, then decided that standing here for another hour would do me no good and headed into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

I sighed while I stripped, watching with a bored expression as my clothes hit the floor. Once all of the garments were in a neat little pile, I stepped into the shower and turned the water on. A few seconds later, I had warm water cascading down my back soothingly, making me realize how sleepy I really was. I managed to keep myself awake the whole time, though, exiting the shower after washing my hair and everything.

I soon left the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body, pleased to find that Kakashi was still asleep. I silently went over to where my clothes were laying in a pile on the floor, picking up the garments I wanted to wear before putting them on the table and letting my towel drop. I dressed quickly in my normal attire, and about a minute later, I was heading out of the apartment, my hair still damp.

The early morning air was rather chilly, leading me to quickly regret leaving the apartment with wet hair and no jacket. I shivered and glanced up at the sky as I wandered down a random street. From what I could tell, the sun wouldn't be up for another hour and a half. I sighed and looked back at the path ahead of me, disliking the lack of sunlight.

As I walked along, I realized that the streets were empty. This made me feel somewhat uneasy, but I knew it was probably normal. I mean, really. Who would be out at five-thirty in the morning, anyway?

At around six o'clock, that strange uneasiness grew, and I began to become even more paranoid. I looked around slowly, acting as if I was just innocently glancing at the houses to either side of me and not searching for something unusual. My pace slowed when I got a really bad feeling, ceasing completely after a moment. Then, my body tensed, and I finally felt it...

There was someone standing right behind me.

I felt nothing but this person's presence, even though they couldn't have been standing more than three inches away from me. Somehow, I knew that they were taller than me, and they were familiar in some strange way...

"Who are you?" I asked after a long moment of silence. My body tensed more when I had a man's muscular arm around my middle, pulling me back into a strong body.

"You really don't remember?" this man questioned in return, his voice a soft, almost seductive whisper in my ear.

I shuddered, but immediately said, "I don't remember anything, actually."

The male's aura of utter sexiness melted away when he let out a little dejected squeak, letting me go so he could move to stand in front of me. "Not even your own boyfriend?" As I looked up at the guy, I realized he was freaking adorable in spite of his undeniable hotness. Spiky, dark brown hair, pretty blue eyes, an amazing physique...but the disbelieving look of shocked hurt on his face kept him one step away from being completely sexy.

I shook my head and said calmly, "Nope. Sorry."

"But...we've been together for almost a whole year now!"

"Sorry, dude. I got nothin'."

"Oh," the poor guy sighed. "Well, I'm Kiwa Buke, and I'm madly in love with the non-amnesiac version of Koushoku Sukai."

"I'm Keiko, and I...happen to be the amnesiac version of Koushoku Sukai."

"I know. It's incredibly depressing," Kiwa groaned, his shoulders slumping.

"Um...I'm...uh...sorry...?"

"Don't be," the man said, shaking his head. "It's not like you purposely lost your memories." He let out another soft sigh, finally looking away from the ground and up at me. "I guess I'll go, then. Try to find me if you ever become the non-amnesiac Koushoku, okay?" He turned and started to walk away, but he stopped suddenly and came back to me. "Oh, yeah. I wanted to give you this, too." He slid a sword out of his belt, taking the weapon's shiny, beautifully decorated gold sheathe with it. The katana's hilt was the same golden color, and I couldn't help but notice that it matched my eyes rather well. "It's your Raikou no Yaiba, your Lightning Sword."

He held the weapon out to me, and I took it while cocking my head. I slid it out of its sheathe carefully and began to study it. To the naked eye, it seemed like no more than a gold-bladed katana, but when one touched it, they could feel the electrical energy pulsating within it.

While continuing to look the weapon over, I casually asked, "Are you a killer, too, or is that one of Koushoku's traits that you just have to deal with?"

The male's glare was so fierce I swore the hatred it held was almost palpable. "She's not just a killer, but yes, I do help her on some of her missions, and if someone needs to be killed, I will kill them."

"Oh...You seem rather cute for a murderer," I commented, managing to remain calm as I sheathed the golden katana and looked up at Kiwa. He wasn't much taller than me, but it was enough to force me to literally look up whenever I wanted to meet his dark blue eyes.

"Meh," he mumbled, averting his gaze. The slight blush that reached his cheeks had me grinning, but my smile faded when he turned and began to walk away. "I'll come check up on you occasionally, so don't be alarmed if you feel like someone's watching you."

"Why would you do that?" I asked, cocking my head again.

He stopped walking and glanced back at me, smiling softly. "Because even though you don't remember everything, you're still my Koushoku, and I don't want anything to happen to you." He then turned and began to walk again, vanishing suddenly a few seconds later.

I stared at the spot where he had last been as I reached up and touched one of my cheeks, wondering if it felt as hot as I thought it did.

"Damn...Bastard made me blush," I remarked breathily, almost without actually thinking about it. I stared at that spot for a moment longer before I turned and began to head back in the direction of Kakashi's apartment, deciding that I should probably tell him about this or something.

-

Kakashi was sitting on the edge of his bed when I entered the room, and he glanced away from his book at the sound of the door closing. "Keiko. Where have you-"

"I met Koushoku's boyfriend this morning," I interrupted him quietly. "His name is Kiwa Buke, and he gave me this," I added, holding the sword up for him to see.

He nodded and got to his feet, his eye on the sword. "That man's been mentioned before in relation to Koushoku, as has that sword," he stated while allowing his gaze to return to me. "Did he try to hurt you or anything?"

I shook my head numbly, walking over to the bed so I could flop down on it. "Nah. He just made me feel funny, like the real Koushoku had decided to force her emotions into me."

"You're all right, then?"

"I guess so. A bit weirded out and confused, but that's nothing that won't go away in a few minutes."

"Good, because we're going to be leaving in a few minutes."

I sat up, feeling slightly alarmed. "What? Why? Where are we going?"

"Relax, Keiko. We're just going to go eat before we have to leave on a simple escort mission."

"What about your students? Don't you have to train them today or something?"

He shook his and said, "No. I've already told them that they get the next few days off."

"Oh...All right. Why do I have to go with you?"

"Because you're my responsibility, and even though I trust you, I don't think it would be wise to leave you here by yourself for a few days."

"Ah. Understandable. I wouldn't want to be left alone for that long, anyway."

"Mm. So, would you like ramen again, or should we get something different?"

I got to my feet with a smile, forgetting that I still had my sword in my hand. "Ramen sounds lovely." Kakashi opened the door for me and followed me out a few seconds later, soon leading the way to the ramen stand.

-

Once we had eaten, we packed some supplies and headed out of the village, beginning the trip in silence. I had a backpack on my back and my sword in my hand while Kakashi had his only bag slung over his shoulder. The trip wasn't supposed to take more than a day or two, which was why we didn't bring too much stuff with us.

Currently, we were on our way to a small, nearby village, where we were supposed to pick up our client, then head to another village. The woman we had to escort wasn't actually being targeted by anyone or anything, but she was a rich, lonely, paranoid woman, and she thought she needed some protection, just in case.

"I don't want to be a killer," I said suddenly, about ten minutes into the silent trip.

"So, don't kill anyone," was Kakashi's simple, casual solution.

"But if I really am this Koushoku person, I've already killed a lot of people, haven't I?" I asked softly, my gaze now focused sadly on the golden sword I carried. This time, the male didn't even respond. I decided not to say anything else, allowing us to make the rest of the journey in silence.

We reached our destination at about ten o'clock, finding the village rather crowded and busy. We made our way through the people-filled streets slowly, but surely, soon making it to the large residence of the woman we had been sent to escort. She was a relatively short young woman, thin and pretty with big brown eyes and waist-length, pale blonde hair. Kakashi was the one who spoke to her, and all I learned was that her name was Yuzuna Yukinaza, and I was going to be carrying a damn good portion of her belongings for her. Needless to say, I was thrilled.

We began our journey to the next village after a few minutes with Kakashi and me carrying another three bags each, and I quickly learned why this beautiful woman didn't have a husband or any real friends.

She would not shut up.

"And then, he just got up and left, right in the middle of my story. He hadn't even eaten much of his dinner, but I was forced to pay for the whole thing," Yuzuna said as she walked between Kakashi and me. "I still can't figure out why he did that." I enjoyed about three seconds of glorious silence before the woman started chattering again, this time talking about how horrible her hair had looked when she'd woken up this morning.

As I stared straight ahead, appearing all nice and calm on the outside, I wondered whether the urge I had to kill this chick was influenced by Koushoku or something that was all my own. In the end, I decided that it was a little bit of both. The fact that I wasn't going along with that urge was all my own, though.

The three of us stopped in another village at sundown, quickly finding an inn to stay in for the night. Kakashi decided that we only needed two rooms, and I was the one who was forced to stay with Yuzuna. Kakashi claimed that this was because I was a girl, and I told him that I could probably make him one if he wanted me to. He didn't go for it.

Luckily, Yuzuna fell asleep after we'd been trapped in that room together for only an hour, leaving me to have a few minutes of peace before I did the same. While she got to sleep on the room's only bed, I was stuck on the floor. This didn't really bother me, though, so I fell asleep only seconds after I laid down, my sword still in my hand.

-

I shot up at the sound of a shriek, immediately looking in the direction of the bed. Yuzuna was sitting up, looking at the nightstand beside her bed with wide eyes. She scrambled away from it as I got to my feet to see what she was freaking out about. I rolled my eyes when I saw that it was just a spider, glancing back when I heard the door open. Kakashi was standing there, fully dressed even though it was only six o'clock in the morning.

"Just a spider," I told him, having to almost yell in order to be heard over Yuzuna's cries of, "Kill it! Kill it!" The male took a step in the direction of the nightstand, but he stopped when I headed toward the piece of furniture. He and Yuzuna both watched, one shocked and the other calm, as I carefully picked up the small arachnid and went over to the open window, quickly depositing the creature outside. "There," I said as I turned to look at Yuzuna. "It's gone."

Instead of thanking me, the woman began yelling at me angrily. "Why didn't you kill it?! Those nasty things deserve to die!" She said more, but I started tuning her out. My eyes were on my sword, laying atop the pale blue blanket I had been covered with during the night. Yuzuna didn't seem to notice the sudden lull I had slipped into, but I knew Kakashi had. I could feel his eye on me as my mind conjured up vivid images of what I could do to this annoying bitch with that pretty sword...

Oh, the problems it would solve...and the problems it would create.

I stopped thinking these dark thoughts when Kakashi calmly interrupted Yuzuna's angry rant, his eye never leaving me. "Well, it's gone now, Miss Yukinaza. We should prepare to leave soon as well." He stared at me for a few more seconds before leaving the room. I hurried into the bathroom, wanting to get in the shower before Yuzuna could start talking again.

-

A little after seven, Yuzuna, Kakashi, and I were heading out of the village we had stayed in. My sword was now shoved into the backpack I had on my back, half of it sticking out of the bag. I had decided that it would be safer if I didn't have the weapon in my hand, seeing as I was already feeling that urge to off Yuzuna again. She was now ranting about how much she liked flowers, which was a conversation I found even more boring than the one we'd had about her hair yesterday.

After about two hours of walking, we reached our next destination. As we headed toward the residence Yuzuna needed to go to, she told Kakashi and me all about the rich, wonderful man she was here to meet. Apparently, he was going to love her and want to marry her and have lots of kids with her and...Once again, I began tuning her out, listening again only when she said that this man's house was coming into view. It was a mansion, of course, all big and fancy and absolutely perfect for her. A tall brunette man met us outside of the house, thanking Kakashi for escorting Yuzuna and completely ignoring me. He had a few servants take the woman's belongings from us, then Kakashi and I left, beginning our trip back to Konoha.

We moved faster now that we didn't have to drag some spoiled bitch along with us, but we still had to stop at an inn once night fell. This time, we got only one room, and the male was nice enough to give me the bed.

I sat on the bed and watched as he set up his own little bed on the floor. I had my legs crossed and my gold sword laying across my lap, my fingers unconsciously tracing the designs on the sheathe.

"You noticed," I said after a moment, still watching him.

"What?" he questioned while continuing to create his bed.

"Earlier, when I started to want to kill Yuzuna...You noticed."

"I did."

I dropped my gaze to the sword on my lap. "I don't like having these thoughts."

"I know."

"Is that why you didn't react earlier?"

"Yes. I knew you wouldn't do anything."

"Oh...Thank you."

"For what?"

I laid down, fully clothed and not bothering to get under the covers. "Not thinking I'm some heartless killer or something."

"Mm," was all he said to this. He finished getting his bed made, then he got to his feet and left the room. Instead of wondering where he'd gone, I laid a hand on my sword, resting on the blankets beside me, and fell asleep.

-

I woke up the next morning and found Kakashi sitting on the edge of the bed, reading calmly. He glanced back at me when I sat up, yawning.

"It's almost seven. You should get ready to go," he said simply before returning to his book.

"All right," I replied with another yawn. I then got to my feet and did as I had been told. I showered, got dressed, left the room to eat, then we left the inn.

The trip back to Konoha began in silence, but that was changed after a few minutes. Oddly enough, Kakashi was the one who broke the silence this time. And I did not like what he had to say.

"Tsunade wants you to go through reverse hypnosis," the man told me simply.

"Why?" I asked calmly.

"Because she wants you to regain your memories."

I shook my head, still appearing completely calm even though I was freaking out on the inside. "I don't want to remember anything."

"You don't have a choice. If Tsunade wants you to go through this, you have to do it."

"No, I don't," I argued, a slight quiver entering my voice.

"You do." He didn't look over at me until he heard me whimper. I was crying by then, shaking my head and no longer walking.

"I don't want to," I whispered, looking up at him with wide, fear-filled gold eyes as he stopped beside me.

He stared at me for a moment, no emotion entering his expression, then he looked straight ahead and began walking again. "I'll see if I can get Tsunade to put the hypnosis off for a while."

I let out a shaky breath and began following him, wiping away my tears. "Thank you, Kakashi," I said softly.

"Don't thank me yet," he told me casually. I just shook my head and continued walking along behind him. After this, the trip was silent.

-

We reached Konoha just before noon, finding Shizune waiting for us just inside the gates. She smiled at Kakashi before turning to me and saying, "Tsunade would like to see you."

I tensed, but tried to act like I was calm. "Why?"

The woman shrugged. "I'm not sure. I was just told to find you."

"Am I allowed to come?" Kakashi asked from where he stood beside me.

Shizune shook her head and said, "No. Tsunade made it clear that she wanted to see Keiko alone."

Kakashi nodded, looking down at me. "Will you be all right on your own?" I started to shake my head, but he looked away. "I'll see you when you return to my apartment, then." And with that, he walked off.

"Let's get going, shall we?" Shizune said with another smile before beginning to lead me down the street. I followed her, horrified.

Tsunade noticed my look of horror when Shizune and I entered her office.

"What's wrong?" the older woman asked, cocking an eyebrow. My eyes flicked to the man standing beside her desk, dressed in the usual ANBU attire, and she quickly understood. "Kakashi told you about the hypnosis, didn't he?"

"I don't want to remember," was all I said in reply to this, my voice a soft, fearful whisper.

"You'll have to remember eventually," Tsunade told me with a wave of her hand. "Better sooner than later, right?"

"No," I whispered, now looking at the man as he stepped forward.

"Please, have a seat," he told me, gesturing to a chair that was waiting for me in front of Tsunade's desk.

"I...I...No. I can't," I said, taking a shaky step back.

"You can, and you will," Tsunade told me angrily, obviously annoyed. "Either do as you're told willingly, or we will use force."

I let out a pathetic whimper, but cautiously sat down, looking up at the man with wide eyes.

"Just relax," the male told me. He performed a few hand signs, and soon, I was slumped in the chair, unable to be afraid because I was entranced. I was told to think back, back to the days before Kakashi was with me. My mind tried to do as it was told, but it simply couldn't. "Now, what do you remember? How did you become an amnesiac?" the man asked me, apparently unable to notice that I couldn't remember anything.

Eyes closed, I smiled almost tauntingly, letting out a sleepy, mocking giggle. "I can't tell you that."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know."

Silence. Then, a yell from Tsunade. "What do you mean you don't know?!"

"Lady Tsunade, please calm down," Shizune begged.

Tsunade ignored her and turned her shouting to the man. "Are you even doing this right?!"

"Y-yes, ma'am. This just means..." He trailed off, causing Tsunade to growl.

"What does it mean?!" she shouted.

"It means..." The man gulped. "It means, this amnesia was self-induced."