Elena and Ioana entered their Global classroom. Their teacher wasn't there yet, but that was fairly normal and they barely even registered it. What they diddo was get out their notebooks and start cramming for the pop quiz that they would surely have.

"When did the Mongols rule China?" Ioana asked Elena.

"I don't know."

"What's the capital of Russia?"

"Kiev."

"Who did the Russians get their ideas from?"

"Either the Persians or the Seljuks, I don't remember. Stop bothering me, I'm trying to study!"

Before they knew it, the bell had rung. Groaning, the girls put their notebooks away out of habit, only to realize that their teacher Mr. Renaid still hadn't arrived.

"Where's Mr. Renai..." Elena started to ask out loud, then stopped mid-word and stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, at the door.

Not everyone noticed the figure in the doorway at first, but gradually, everyone did and stopped talking.

Standing in the doorway was the tallest, palest man any of them had ever seen. He had hair so ashy blond that it appeared to be grayish silver, violet eyes, and a strange, sweet smile, and wore a long white scarf and long gray trench coat.

The tall man smiled wider, showing his teeth. "Ah. It seems that I was a little late getting here, da? I apologize, sweet children."

He walked slowly to the blackboard, smiling the whole time, then picked up a piece of chalk and slowly and meticulously wrote something on the blackboard. It looked like:

Иван Брагинский

Then, under it, he wrote:

IVAN BRAGINSKI

in well-spaced, capital letters. Then he turned to the class.

Russia smiled widely in glee. "My name is Ivan Braginski," he said in a thick, frightening Russian accent. "And I will be your substitute teacher for today, da?"

None of the children responded. Although they couldn't quite explain what was so terrifying about the tall Russian, they all knew that the goosebumps on all their arms and legs were definitely not from the chalk squeaks.

"Are you Russian, Mr. Braginski?" A quiet Chinese girl named Michelle Dai asked him.

"Yes, indeed I am, sweetie." He held out his arms to the class, closing his eyes. "And soon, all of you will be too." He paused, still smiling. "Because someday, you will all become one with Mother Russia, da?" He turned to Michelle, who shrank backwards.

Again, he received no answers, but still seemed unfazed. By now, all of the students who were intelligent enough to recognize the incredibly evil, uncomfortable aura radiating from Russia were almost petrified with fear. Unfortunately for them, some of the slower students in the class were snickering and whispering Russian jokes to each other.

Then Russia's violet eyes alighted upon Julia Snide, who was giggling and texting in the back of the class. Without letting down his disorienting smile, the tall man slowly walked over to the unaware girl and stood by her desk, casting a large shadow over her and causing her to look up. She giggled nervously.

"Uh, sorry, Mr. Bragski," she said with a weak grin as she began to slip her phone into his pocket. Suddenly, a strong, cold hand caught her wrist. She looked up to see the substitute's shadowy, smiling face looming five inches away from her.

"What are you doing, sweetie? Give the phone to me."

Whimpering, Julia slowly unfolded her hand. Russia grabbed the phone and slipped it into one of the numerous pockets of his long coat. He was walking back to his desk when an annoying, loud and arrogant voice rang out.

"Hey, Teach! I think you can take off the scarf and mittens now. We got something called heat. Ever heard of it?"

Russia slowly turned his head to the arrogant boy, Jack Smith. His purple eyes took on a cold, murderous light, but the smile remained.

"I don't think you want to see me angry, child." The quiet, deadly voice coupled with the Russian accent made for a warning so terrifying that any kid with half a brain would have shut the hell up right then.

But not Jack Smith.

Poor, poor, stupid Jack Smith.

"I don't know, do I, vodka-head?" He snickered under his breath.

The sweet grin finally dropped from the Russian's face. He bared his teeth at Jack and started walking towards him. Slowly at first, then faster. And he was speaking a single word over and over again:

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol..."

When he reached Jack's desk, he let out with a final, ultra-loud "KOL!" and grabbed Jack by his collar, literally dragging him out of the room.

Every kid in the room was dying to stand up and see what was going on outside, but they were too terrified of what the tall Russian would do if they were caught. All they could hear were the tantalizing screams of Jack and the soft singing of the sub.

"And streeeeeetch, ahahahahaha... and streeeeeeeetch~"

"HE'S STRETCHING ME! STREEEEEETCHING MEEEEEE!"

After three or four agonizing minutes, a smiling Russia returned to the classroom, dragging a traumatized Jack behind him.

"I think it is time to start now, da?" The tall, pale man strode over to the blackboard. "Today we learn about my homeland, Russia. Yay!" He sighed and spoke the words with a loving caress.

The students had never paid better attention to a class in their lives. For the next hour and a half, they memorized the entire history of Russia from the Byzantine influence to the Soviet Union. After a while, he began talking about Poland. In a very derogatory manner. Still smiling, of course.

"Unfortunately," he grinned while sketching a diagram on the board, "the Poles, you all know how slow they are, didn't quite realize how close Germany was to-"

"Mr. Braginski?" A calm, firm voice spoke up. Russia turned back to see a blond-haired girl with her hand raised. It was Elena's Polish-rooted friend Gwyn.

"Yes, dear?" Russia said in a singsong voice.

"I'm Polish. And I do not appreciate it when people use derogatory stereotypes for the Poles."

Gwyn didn't quite know why or how she was able to summon the courage to speak to Mr. Braginski like that. She knew everyone else was terrified and knew she should have been terrified as well, but for some strange reason, she wasn't.

The tall teacher regarded her for a moment. His expression behind the smile was unreadable.

"Very well, Miss...?"

"Gwyn."

"Very well, Miss Gwyn. I will not talk about the Polish that way anymore. Since it is the end of class. Go on, little children. Go on and eat lunch."

The kids didn't need to be told twice. Jack Smith was the first one out, followed by Julia Snide. Gwyn was the only one who took her time packing her things and was the last one out.

Elena, Ioana, and Gwyn stared back for a second at the silvery-haired substitute. He had sat down in a chair and was humming a little tune while stroking the petals of a sunflower.

"That..." Elena breathed. "Was the most terrifiying person I have ever, ever seen. Including your vampire-like dad, Ioana."

"I bet he's a pedophile or something," Ioana whispered. "Nobody smiles that much."

"I wonder what he did to poor Jack," Gwyn said ominously.

"I miss Mr. Williams and Coach Jones," Elena said sadly.

After a while of silence, Ioana brought up an interesting point.

"Where the hell did he find a sunflower in the middle of October?"

Scaaaaary... poor stupid Jack. Wonder if he's Latvian? ;) What are your thoughts on Global Teacher Russia? Review!