Hi everyone! Thank you all for sticking with me and welcome to the new readers! I hope you enjoy. Now let's see what Bella's up to...

"What do you mean he doesn't want to see me?!"

"It's just what I said."

"Why not? Have I offended him in some way?"

"No, he just couldn't stand your pathetic ways of affection."

I jumped up from my bed. Those same words have been taunting my subconscious for almost two weeks now. Ever since I was told to leave Jake's house I haven't been allowed back. Billy said Jake is real sick and can't have visitors over. I asked if I could talk to him on the phone, and suddenly Jake couldn't talk either. I have half a mind to just pop up with some soup and astack of bad horror films… Something I knew Jake would like if he's sick. During the first two days I was placid. I was desperatefor any kind of response from La Push about Jake that I would take any answer as long as it meant Jake was alright. After a week I started growing impatient. Jake would have called by now, at least so I wouldn't worry. It wasn't like him to not keep in touch. Especially with the way things ended that day. That was something I still had unanswered questions about. I justwant to see how Jake is doing. I mean what kind of personwould I be if I didn't check in on my best friend?

I quickly started preparing vegetables and boiling water for the soup I would bring Jacob. Although I don't buy him being sick for two weeks, I still should be prepared. It's not that odd if he was sick, but why hasn't he contacted me? There are other ways to communicate than telephone today. Although he has ignored all my emails, texts, and video conferences. The aching feeling in my chest is slowly rises back to the surface, until I quickly remind myself that I am stronger than this and I am okay. Thankfully, the pain ceases into the slow burn I have been accustomed to since I started talking to Jake. However, the thought of losing him sends the sharp pain of rejection right through my heart. I breathe a sigh of relief and anguish, at least this pain is not as threating as the other pain cause by him.

As if on autopilot I finish the soup and quickly put it in a plastic container and a warming case to keep the soup hot. I grab my meager stash of movies and head to my beloved truck. It resist to turn over the first couple of times but with a few bribes and a prayer the roaring engine comes to life. I make the familiar drive to La Push wondering about Jake. I hope Billy's sad attempts to keep me away were for a good reason. I try not to think about anything my dreams keep plaguing me with.

Suddenly the car stops. Right in the middle of the road. I check the gas and see that in my attempt to a sneak up on Jake I forgot to fill up the tank. I'll have to walk the rest of the 2 miles. Luckily I've passed all the hills and winding roads to Jake's. If I didn't think I would get lost in the woods I'd try to find a back way to Jacob's house.

I arrive at La Push just after twilight. My feet are sore and my arms are heavy from carrying the warm soup the whole way. When I finally see Jake's house I give a sigh of relief. I look to see if his light is on in his room, it's not, but the kitchen and living room are lit. I mentally prepare myself for the oncominggreetings when I notice large figures coming from the garage. Their voices carry and one of them is Jake's! My heart gives a soft flutter when I hear his voice after weeks of silence. Even though he's not speaking to me, I can't help but feel some sort of warmth. I crouch down behind a bush, afraid if he sees me now he'll shoo me home.

"Why can't you get your head wrapped around this Jacob," a deep voice yells.

"Why can't you understand I don't want to be a part of it," Jacob responds.

I don't know what they're talking about, but I do know that Jacob has strong feelings about it.

"Well it's a little late for that, don't you think Black?"

Jacob makes an odd sound and there's a loud CRACK that follows.

"Don't take your anger out on your car. It's already a piece of crap, and that won't help it any."

Jake doesn't say anything but a loud growl comes from somewhere close. A wolf? Out in the open? Are they that far from their family? My arms feel like lead and my hands are losing their grip on the soup. I try to regain my crouch when my foot slips under me and my arms give way.

"Damn," I say unceremoniously.

Instantly Jacob and the other man stop talking. I know they've heard me. What to do? Well, it's not like I can hide forever. I slowly stand from behind my bush and step away. When I look up I see Jake and Sam.

"Bella? What the hell are you doing here," Sam asks.

I could ask him the same thing…

I quickly look to Jake. He eyes are everywhere but on me and I feel my heart getting heavier.

Look at me! Look at me!

"Bella, you shouldn't be here. You need to go home," Samstates, in his matter-of-fact tone

I narrow my eyes at him.

"I won't leave until I talk to Jake," I murmur.

Just saying his name aloud brings about a twinge of hurt and a feeling of heaviness and sinking. My sunshine is gone… he won't even look at my face.

"Jacob," I plead.

Finally he looks at me and he begins to speak, but there's no warm smile, there's no positive emotion in his voice for me. His eyes, his voice, and everything about him is cold.

"What do you want," he asks, in a voice that makes me feel like we are strangers.

How can he not know what I want? A few weeks ago we spent every waking moment together, and now… he can't even bear to look at me! What I want is an explanation. What I want is for him not to walk out on me.

I open my mouth to tell him exactly what I want, but then I see Sam look at me suspiciously and I become shy. This conversation is too personal to say in front of him. I stare at him hoping he'll get the point. Jake laughs, but there's no joy behind it.

"It doesn't matter whatever it is. He's going to find out anyway."

Why would he tell Sam anything? Anger builds up inside me and I finally let two weeks of worry and hurt spill out.

"Okay, what I want is answers. Like why couldn't you call me back? What the hell is going on with you? And why can't I come see you anymore? I don't know what's gotten into you Jake but it's not right. And I want to know why you ran off like that. What happened to you? I didn't know what was going is Billy giving me these bullshit excuses about you? Don't you want to be around me anymore? If you don't, then you could have told me. You didn't have to get your Dad to do the dirty work."

My chest is heaving. My head is hurting and my heart is breaking again. I thought Jake would at least show some sort of compassion for me, but he's just standing here like a statue, like I asked him if the sky was blue or if the wind is real. I stand there for a few more seconds, hoping he'll say something. Anything. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"Sam's right. You shouldn't be here. I think it would be best if you left Bella."

I step back. He's pushing me away, he's telling me to leave. Like he did. It's all happening again, but it can't be happening, not with Jake. Forgetting the pain in my legs and arms I turn on my heel and run. I shouldn't be here, I don't belong, but I don't know where I'm supposed to be. I run into the woods, ignoring the voices behind me

Maybe where I should be is nowhere.

Thoughts?