Happy Monday! Hope you all had a good weekend. It's been super hot where I am and giving me lots of time to hide in the AC and write. :D Finished another future chapter to this story on Saturday.

Hope you will enjoy this little bit of humor to get your week started! :)

Chapter Four: Lizard. It's what's for dinner.

Setting: Season Thirteen, during "Wayward Sisters"

Dean started in with the Jurassic Park references about thirty seconds after they realized the weird ditches they kept walking around were giant footprints.

"You do know this is bad, right?" Sam asked, after yet another movie reference.

"Yes, Sam, I know this is bad. There are dinosaurs here. Dinosaurs."

Struggling over a rotted log, Sam nodded. "Exactly."

Dean climbed up onto a moss-covered rock and grinned. "But it's also awesome!"

Sam groaned.

It was awesome even when they wound up being devoured by a pack of freakishly large mosquitos because, Sammy, we might see a Tyrannosaurus!

It was awesome even when he fell in the shallow creek because, Sammy, no one else alive has ever seen a real dinosaur!

It was awesome even when twelve hours of aimless walking had passed because, Sammy, we could hunt a Velociraptor!

It was awesome right up until Dean stepped up to his knee in dino poop.

Sam hadn't been able to hold back his laughter until Dean had kicked some poop his way, splattering it on his jeans.

They hadn't spoken to each other for the next hour and a half.

Now, though, Dean was hungry and apparently that took precedence over his irritation.

"Look, man, I need to eat," he griped, swatting branches away from his head. "We've been walking for hours."

"Hadn't noticed."

"I'm hungry."

"Hadn't noticed."

"We have to find food."

"Find us a Biggersons and dinner's on me." Sam received a smack on the back of the head for that comment. He stopped walking and threw his arms wide. "What do you want me to do? We have no idea where we are. There's probably no civilization. So we're gonna have to start guessing on the vegetation or resort to cannibalism."

Dean snorted and turned around. He was fighting a smile as he said, "Cannibalism? Really? That's our second step from berries and grass?"

Sam shrugged.

Rolling his eyes and huffing, Dean put his hands on his hips and surveyed the area. After a minute he said, "We could try catching something."

It wasn't the first time he'd suggested it.

"Dean, we have no idea what kind of diseases these animals could be carrying," Sam argued back, also not for the first time. "Let's keep going. We're not gonna starve in a day."

"Speak for yourself." Dean shook his head, but started moving again. "Fine. But we're going to need some sleep at least. We've been on our feet for hours. We haven't even seen a single dinosaur yet."

The last statement was mumbled and petulant and made Sam smile despite the overall misery of their situation. He didn't point out that it was probably a good thing they hadn't seen a single dinosaur.

"You lecture me about weird dinosaur diseases," Dean said the next morning, standing a fair distance away. "But you never thought to consider the plant life might be poisonous?"

"I did consider it." Sam sucked in an unsteady breath, one hand braced against a tree, the other pressed against his stomach. "But somebody wouldn't shut up about how hungry he is so I took a chance."

Dean shook his head, arms folded across his chest. "So you tried the purple berries? Purple isn't a color for food."

"Eggplant is purple."

"You are so weird."

Sam wiped his hand over his mouth and straightened. "Besides, the berries aren't poisonous. They just tasted awful."

"Awful?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you just spent the last ten minutes hurling your guts up. They must have tasted more than awful."

"Yes, they did." Sam nodded, moving away from the purple berry bush. "Can we go now?"

"I dunno. You sure you don't wanna try those orange ones over there."

"I'm sure."

Dean shrugged and pushed past him.

Sam glared at him. "Why are you always in the lead?"

"Because I know where I'm going."

"Oh really?" Sam held his arms out. "Where would that be?"

"In search of food, the door home, and higher ground."

"Uh huh. Looks like you're a great big success." Sam elbowed past him. "My turn."

Dean snorted and elbowed his way to the lead again. "This isn't a game, Sammy. We don't take turns."

"You've been leading us in circles!" Sam shouted, frustration finally breaking free.

"I have not."

And, ok, so Sam couldn't really prove Dean had been leading them in circles, but it sure seemed like it. Blowing out a frustrated breath, Sam asked, "How do you even know where you're going?"

"Because I'm the oldest."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"Wow." Dean turned, a shocked expression on his face. "You're tense."

Sam almost punched him but was interrupted by a sound that was straight from Jurassic Park. They both fell silent and took a step closer to each other for all the good it would do them if a dinosaur decided to step on them. At least they'd go out together, Sam mused morbidly.

"Sounds like a brachiosaurus," Dean whispered. "They're herbivores. It's not gonna eat us."

"I'm more worried about it stepping on us," Sam whispered back, pulling on Dean's arm until he moved closer to a group of boulders.

Dean looked at him and said, "You've been worrying about that this whole time. What is it with you and this fear of getting stepped on?"

"I also have a fear of being eaten," Sam stressed, keeping his eyes on the surrounding area.

"They're herbivores. That means they don't eat meat."

"I know that!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Dean said, suddenly stopping right in front of Sam and narrowing his eyes. "It's because they're actually taller than you are, isn't it?"

"What?" Sam shook his head. "That's stupid."

"Ha!" Dean grinned. "Now you know how the rest of the world feels!'

Sam glared at him. "I don't go around stepping on people, although if I did, I'd step on you first."

"You just don't know what to do with yourself having something taller around."

"You are enjoying this too much," Sam gumbled, shoving his brother aside. "Come on. We need to get away from here-"

"Shh!" Dean slapped his arm as they heard the dinosaurs again.

Sam kept his voice softer as he hissed, "You know, we don't know if anything is the same here. Maybe here the brontosauruses eat people."

"Brachiosaurus."

"Whatever!"

The dinosaur made another sound and they both pressed back against the rocks even though they couldn't see anything except trees.

"Come on," Dean whispered, patting Sam on the back. He started climbing up the rocks.

Sam followed him even though he knew Dean just wanted to see the dinosaurs and wasn't climbing the rocks because he thought it would be safer. They crawled forward, then settled flat on their stomachs and stared out over a wide valley.

Despite everything, Sam's jaw dropped.

It was like they were watching Jurassic Park come to life in front of their eyes. Dinosaurs of every shape and size were scattered across the valley. There were some that looked familiar and some that didn't look like anything they'd ever seen before. Sam stared at the scene in awe.

At his left side, Dean was slapping his arm and making the same choked off noises of glee he'd made as a twelve year old the one summer Dad had taken them to a local carnival. Sam glanced at him and couldn't help but smile. The sight of his brother looking so damn happy was even more fantastic than a field full of dinosaurs.

A day later, neither of them were happy.

They were soaked from the second torrential downpour in the past ten hours; sore from hiking non-stop; tired because it was difficult to sleep when you didn't know what might eat you while you weren't paying attention; frustrated from not having a clue where they needed to go or how to get there.

And they were hungry.

Really hungry.

This time they'd spent a good three hours not speaking to each other after an argument over whose fault it was that neither of them had packed even a granola bar. Sam had been wary of trying any more berries and by now Dean was in a bleak mood.

He'd been trying to conserve their limited supply of ammo, so he'd been hesitant to waste a bullet unless absolutely necessary. Besides, they hadn't seen a lot of wildlife except for the dinosaurs that would need a whole lot more ammo than they had to bring them down.

At least so far the water hadn't killed them, Sam thought, trying to be positive. And they'd been staying fairly close to the river as a means of keeping track of where they were so they were getting plenty to drink.

He glanced over at his brother. Dean was flat on his back in the grass, arms behind his head as he stared down at the river. They were in a clearing, trying to dry out in what little sun there was. They'd been resting here for close to an hour but he'd been too tense to settle back in the grass.

Thirty minutes later, though, Sam gave in. It wasn't easy to let his guard down even for a minute, but he was beat. Flopping back on the grass, he rested his arm over his eyes tried to relax.

They had been focused on two things and two things only.

Survival and finding a way home.

Everything else, including worrying about Jack and Kaia, had more or less been usurped simply by the fight to stay alive. But they'd been here over two days now and were no closer to a solution than they had been initially. And the only thing he could do for Jack and Kaia was worry.

So he did.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Dean moving until he was smacked in the leg. Opening his eyes, he glared at his brother, then sat up, instantly alert. Dean had a finger to his lips and was staring at the edge of the river with a hunter's intensity. Sam reached for his gun and followed Dean's gaze.

Nothing.

After waiting a minute, Sam whispered, "What?"

"Dinner."

Hoping he meant dinner for them and not that they were about to become dinner, Sam tried to locate whatever his brother had seen.

"Stay here," Dean said, getting to his feet.

"What?"

"Be right back." Dean grinned, brandishing the angel blade.

"Dean!" Sam whispered as loudly as he could.

Dean ignored him, of course. Cursing under his breath, Sam followed him at a short distance. He didn't want to hamper his brother's efforts, but he sure as hell was going to watch his back. Crouching behind an outcropping of rocks, Sam watched Dean stealthily creeping along the tall grasses along the river's edge.

His heart was in his throat because who knew what might be in the water behind those grasses? So far, they hadn't come across anything resembling a crocodile or alligator but there was probably some kind of creature in the river. He inched forward as Dean paused, the angel blade raised in preparation for a strike.

Holding his breath, Sam watched Dean dart forward. He was quick and efficient and whatever he'd gone up against had obviously lost because Dean stood up, grinning.

"Dinner's served!"

Eyebrows raised, Sam hurried over to his side. "What did you-"

"Check it out!" Dean crouched down next to…

"Is that a lizard?" Sam asked, taking a half step backward.

"Yes it is," Dean said, grinning and picking up the creature. "Go find some wood, we are cookin' out tonight!"

"I'm not eating that." Sam shook his head.

"I'll find you some purple eggplant berries for dessert."

"Funny."

Dean laughed. "Come on, Sammy. Live dangerously!"

"Live dangerously?" Sam snorted as they headed back to the treeline. "I'm in a world with freakin' dinosaurs. How much more dangerously can I possibly live?"

"Look, man," Dean said, hefting the lizard. "I'm hungry and cold and tired and wet and lost in Jurassic Park. I got no idea how we're gonna get outta here and I stepped in dinosaur poop yesterday."

"So?"

"So give me a break," Dean all but whined. "I just hunted a lizard for you."

This time Sam couldn't hold back his laughter.

"Lizard." Dean grinned. "It's what's for dinner."

"I'm still not eating it."

"Yes, you are."

"No. I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Dude, I am nowhere near hungry enough to eat a lizard."

"Well, go gather some sticks for a fire." Dean waved his hand. "Work up an appetite."

Sam shook his head, but went to find some sticks because his brother was hungry and had just hunted a lizard. They really, really needed to get out of here soon. He did not ever want to be hungry enough to eat a lizard.

Ever.

Hope you enjoyed! This one was SO much fun to write. I wrote it about a week before I got to go see the latest Jurassic Park movie. Love those movies! And so funny to imagine the boys being stuck in a world with dinosaurs! :)

Next up: a stand-alone season 12 tag for next Monday.

Have a great week!