Cezary didn't find it strange at all when he woke up in someone else's bed. His lack of issue with that fact didn't surprise him. He figured that was because it had already happened to him before. Last time he had woken up in a blind panic. Of course last time he had just woken up from a month long coma with no memory of where, or more importantly who he was. In that sense he was rather pleased that he remembered his name this time around, and that he remembered everything up until the first time he had woken up.
So what was I doing…Oh right I was trying to find Sergeant O'Hara…No, she found me… his mind was slowly getting itself back together as he forced himself to sit up. He remembered, and particularly recalled the series of poor choices that had nearly led to him dying in the mountains. He realized how lucky he had been that she had been nearby, luckier than he had been when that reporter had found him. If there was a higher power it was certainly strong evidence that he was a benevolent one.
Okay, okay you made some dumb choices, worry about that later. Is everything all right? He lifted the fur blanket covering his body, suddenly realizing that he had been stripped down to his underwear. A hurried glance around the cabin's single room showed him the rest of his clothing hanging over a small wood stove. That answered he went back to the task at hand. His legs were fine, his feet worked well, and toes weren't amputated. His arms still worked, and while he had a slight headache he was otherwise intact.
I'm fine, that's good… with his health not in question he finally took a more detailed look around the cabin. It was a small place, maybe twenty feet to a side if that. The wood stove on the far wall was the only source of heat, and currently had a large pot on top of it. Various cooking supplies were hung off of nails on a nearby wall over a small table. A pair of rifles rested on the wall by the door. Craning his head he saw that she had built a loft nearby to hold any excess supplies. His backpack was sitting next to the bed. He was also drawn towards the canteen and mug filled with water sitting next to the bed. Seeing that he realized that he was rather thirsty, and hungry for that matter, made worse by the fact that he smelled something cooking. For now though he could at least satisfy the first need.
Small place, but comfortable if there's only one person living here. He continued to think over the situation as he gulped down his first drink in days, Weird, I thought that Koller woman said she liked being around people. Seems funny that she'd come out here by herself. So…what? Did she piss off someone? Then again that's not important. I wonder where-
Cezary's thought was answered for him when the door opened and Catherine walked in carrying a load of firewood in her arms. She immediately looked over to the bed and saw him staring back at her. As though she had expected it all along she simply smiled and said "Oh good, you're awake."
He wasn't sure how to reply. If she was expecting one she didn't appeared to be bothered by his lack of response. Instead she dropped off the wood by the stove and walked over to the bed. Still wordlessly she sat down and placed her hand on his forehead, seemingly without a care for the fact that his face was turning a slight shade of red.
"You don't have a fever anymore, that's good. How are you feeling?" he was feeling rather naked at the moment. His mind hadn't quite registered that she was the one who probably stripped him down in the first place. As it was he was feeling uncomfortable more than anything.
"Uh…I'm…fine, just fine." He sputtered, managing to remove her hand from his face. When Catherine burst out laughing a few seconds later it only served to make him more flustered.
"Goodness Cezary since when did you become so bashful?" she finally managed to say once she had appeared to calm down a little, "You must have hit your head harder than I thought."
"Wait how did you…" he was about to ask when he realized that she had probably changed his bandages while he was unconscious, "Oh…right…So how long was I out?"
"You've been asleep since yesterday morning." She sighed, "I was afraid you might not make it. You were in pretty bad shape when I found you."
"Oh…uh…sorry…" it was all he could think to say.
"Really Cezary, coming out here with no supplies like that. You have no food, no water, and you were probably going to freeze to death if I didn't find you." She went on. Cezary didn't remember his mother, but he was pretty sure that this is what it felt like to be guilted by one, "You really had me scared. What in the world possessed you to come out here?"
"…Sorry." He said again. All things considered he had probably scared her, and even he knew that it had been a bad idea to try and track her down, and yet he still did it, "It's just…well you see…" he kept cutting himself short, find that he wasn't sure exactly how to explain his situation. Thankfully it seemed that his lame attempts at apologizing actually had some effect as she just smiled warmly and shook her head.
"No, I shouldn't be going on about that right now; you just woke up. You must be starving. Do you want something to eat?" She got up and headed over to the pot on top of the stove, chiding herself about being a bad hostess.
"Er…yeah." It didn't look like he had a choice in the matter, but he was hungry. Still he was here to ask her about his past, "The thing is Serg-…Miss…er-"
"Cathy is fine, you know I never needed any formalities." Catherine corrected him as she handed a bowl of stew, "Now eat. We can talk after you're done."
He couldn't disagree. It was a fairly simple stew, but hunger was the best spice. For the first time in days he finally felt a little bit of relief. His head was a bit clearer, his stomach with something in it, and finally someone to talk to. Of course there was still one concern.
"Uh…could you…" his eyes flicked momentarily down to his backpack. Catherine seemed to realize what he was referring to and just laughed again.
"Cezary this modesty of yours is almost frightening." Was all she said before returning back to the stove, her back thankfully turned. He took the time to get dressed so he wouldn't feel so awkward around her. It was also nice to just be out of bed, and he took the time to sit down at the table.
"Feeling better?" she asked while setting down a pair of mugs.
"Very, thank you." He accepted the cup of tea offered to him, "Actually, you were right."
"About what?"
"About me hitting my head harder than you thought." He sighed, having the strangest feeling that he was going to have to explain this a lot. Catherine seemed to suddenly focus on the bandages on his head, the same reaction the reporter had, except she remained quiet, allowing him to continue, "The truth is that I don't remember anything. I fell from a tree a few months ago. I hit my head…and well, up until a few days ago I didn't know anything about myself other than my name. I met someone in Randgriz, a reporter, a Miss Koller. She said she was with the unit during the war. She gave me an idea as to where you were…So I thought I would try and track you down. Didn't work out as well as I thought, but hey here we are."
"…Cezary…" Catherine trailed off, sipping her tea slowly as though she were trying to come up with something to say, ""…I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"It's okay, I'm just trying to figure out who I was. I was hoping you might be able to help, seeing as you were one of my superiors. I figured you'd know me pretty well."
"…Well yes, I tried to get to know everyone…" she put down her cup, again appearing to try and gather her thoughts, "I suppose that helps to explain why you would come all the way out here, but is it worth your life to find out?"
"Well, no…actually that was just a bad idea. I should have just prepared better. I guess I was a bit to overeager though." Cezary admitted, "I mean what good is remembering my past going to be if I die?"
"I see, well at least you're not suicidal about it. I'm amazed that you're…as calm as you are."
"It helped that I was taken care of by the right person." Catherine looked confused, "Dr. Paul Engel. I don't think you'd know him, or anyone in the squad would. He was a doctor for the Imperial army back during the war. He moved to Gallia afterwards. He was the one who figured out I was in the military, and gave me a ride of Randgriz…and the money for the train ticket down here. He's a nice man. I'm glad to have met him, though I wish it was under better circumstances."
"Hm…how times change…Back then I don't think we would have ever spoken so highly of them…or them about us…" Catherine said, sounding more like she was thinking aloud, "…So what is it that you wanted to know?"
"Anything. What kind of person was I?"
"…That depends…" she seemed hesitant, "You were…well, difficult at times."
"Look Miss-…Cathy I know a bit about myself." Cezary sighed. This was sounding like he was just as unpleasant as he had originally thought, "I know I was pretty self-centered, but there had to have been more to me than that…right?"
"…Well yes, but…you're right, you were self-centered…Oh this is hard to explain…" Catherine paused to sip her tea.
"Then just start from the beginning. I don't care how bad it is."
"…If that's what you want." She set the cup down and seemed to stare into it, "I hate to admit it, but you were the biggest problem to start. Back then things were hectic enough as it was. The militia was being mobilized quickly, but it was a sloppy process. With the Imperial army so close to Randgriz things were in turmoil. I was lucky that I only had Marina, Oscar, and you to worry about. Unfortunately I had only gotten the chance to greet the three of you only briefly before being called off. It wasn't until we were given orders to retake the West Bank of Vasel that I actually got a chance to talk to you." She frowned, "It wasn't the best of first impressions."
***
Catherine was furious. Things had finally started to calm down, the newly conscripted militia had finally started to organize itself, and people had started to settle into their roles. And just when they had been given their first deployment orders Lieutenant Gunther had informed her that one of her snipers had started a fight. She had almost immediately guessed who was the culprit. She hadn't known the three under her command for very long, but she still knew. Oscar was too timid; Marina might get into a fight, but would never be the one to start it. That narrowed it down to one.
She checked her sidearm with the MP on duty, and was led into the holding cells. Sure enough, there he was reclining on the bed holding an ice pack to his swollen cheek. There was a certain grim satisfaction in that, his opponent had gotten away pretty much unscathed. That he had started it, and got hurt and punished for his actions seemed appropriate. Even so, she still had to deal with the situation. There was a war going on, and the last thing they needed was for the squad to be fighting amongst itself.
He seemed to deliberately take his time noticing that she was there, speaking only looking up after the guard had gone back to his post. "Ah, corporal…nice of you to drop by."
"Private Cezary Regard is it? Would you care to explain why you thought it was a good idea to get into a fist fight with on of your comrades?" she asked, not bothering to reply to his remark.
"Ah that…" he rolled his eyes and smirked, "Easy, I told the damn dark-hair not to touch my rifle. He should've listened."
"Private Wavy had been working with the quartermaster to organize our equipment. You had no right to impede him from doing his job private." Catherine had only been talking to him for a few seconds, and she already didn't like his attitude.
"Sure, the last thing I need is one of them smearing their grease all over my scope. I know how to maintain my rifle, corporal." His voice dripping with sarcasm, "You don't want me getting into a fight with him again. Then tell him to leave my stuff alone. Who the hell let Darcsens into the squad anyhow?"
"That is none of your concern." She ignored his barb, "The Darcsens are just as much a part of the Gallian military as you or I. You are not to get into fights over such trivial matters."
"So what's it to you?" Cezary asked. Considering how he kept an even gaze with her, it was easy to tell that she wasn't reaching him, "Come to think of it…I've been wondering about that... You don't like me fighting dark-hairs, and you have a bit of unusually dark hair yourself. Something you're hiding? Maybe you took a last name to get away from it all. What's wrong? Don't like your people anymore than me?"
Now Catherine knew that he was just trying to get a reaction from her. It wasn't going to work; she had faced worse accusations back during the first war. She had fought with Darcsens, and knew just exactly how big of traitors they were, that being not at all. She had dealt with people far more arrogant than the young man sitting before her. If he thought his little insults were going to get to her he was in for a surprise. She was half-tempted to let him trip himself up some more, but thought better. She didn't have time for this.
"So what if I am?" she asked, clearly catching him by surprise, "Even if I was a Darcsen, I am still your immediate superior, private, and as your immediate superior I am telling you right now that your prejudice is not a defense against fighting your comrades. I will not stand for it, and you will keep yourself under control. Do I make myself clear?"
"Or else what? You'll lock me down here for the war? Fine by me." And that was his mistake. Catherine had seen men like him before, men who would do anything short of shooting themselves in the foot to get out of combat. He was one of those people. That was fine, she knew how to deal with that.
"So long as you are a sniper you will control yourself." She said calmly, "If I find out that you have gotten into another fight…well I know Corporal Stark was complaining about needing a few more men…" that got him, she could see a brief moment of panic in his eyes, "Cross me again and I'll take your rifle and shove you in her direction. Do I make myself clear?"
"Tch…yes ma'am…" Cezary wasn't stupid, he knew not to press the matter any further. He slumped down, obviously angry at his current situation.
"Good, now get some rest. Our first operation is tomorrow." She couldn't help but leave a little barb of her own. She knew he had hoped that he would be detained until after the battle. She wasn't going to have it. He wasn't getting out that easily. She saw him flinch at the realization, but didn't say anything. At least he knew when to shut up.
Catherine let the guard know that she was finished and allowed herself to be escorted out. When she was out of the cells she looked around in the off chance that he had somehow followed her. When she knew she was clear she leaned against the wall and let out a slow and tired sigh. She hated having to be stern like that. She didn't like pulling rank either, but Cezary was the type of person that she needed to deal with now, or else he would end up costing someone their life. She didn't need that on her conscience. After gathering herself she set off for the barracks. One troublesome sniper aside she still had a job to do.
***
"So I take it that you didn't like hearing that." Cezary was pretty sure that she meant that in jest. That was probably because halfway through the story he had already buried his head in his hands and was debating whether or not bashing his head into the table was a good idea.
"…I was that bad?" was all he could think to say. Thus far anything he heard about himself just made him glad that he had forgotten everything. He was a complete bastard by the sound of it.
"I'm afraid so. You didn't hide the fact that you hated the Darcsens, nor that you didn't want to be there." Catherine said, sipping her tea, "I never understood the hatred for the Darcsens. People always blamed them for the Calamity, but that was over a thousand years ago. One isn't responsible for the sins of their fathers right?"
"Yeah…I guess." Cezary muttered, still trying to grasp the fact that he hadn't been the nicest of people, "I was that bad huh?"
"…You're having trouble with this aren't you?" he nodded at the question, still not looking up, "I can stop any time you want. You don't have to hear this Cezary."
"No…No I need to…" he sighed. He was past the threshold as it was. If he was a bastard he might as well hear it all. Besides, she didn't seem to begrudge him for his past actions, "I came up here to find out who I was, might as well keep going. So I was a complete asshole?"
Catherine seemed hesitant to continue, but she relented, "You were a difficult one…But you seemed to have been scared straight. During the battle for West Vasel you did your job. You were a good shot, and great at spotting hidden enemies. I thought I didn't have to worry much. You did what was asked, and you didn't get into any more fights. You may have avoided any of the Darcsens in the squad, but it was an improvement over your attitude before. Unfortunately we didn't talk much afterwards. I think you were still a bit bitter over my threat."
"Sounds like me…" it was true, from he had heard about himself it did sound like he'd hold a grudge over something like that, "I mean really what next? Did I shoot anyone in the back?"
"No!" she almost sounded shocked that he would even suggest that, "Look, Cezary you weren't…you weren't a monster."
"Could've fooled me."
"No…yes you were difficult to get along with, and yes you…" she trailed off, there was something she didn't want to say.
"Just tell me." Cezary said flatly.
"…You didn't shoot anyone on our side if that's what you think…" Catherine said, still obviously uncomfortable, "But…you did…you did the next worse thing."
"It was the next day. We had just made a foothold on the Vasel's east bank…" she continued before he could say anything, "I had you deployed with Oscar a little ahead of Marina and myself. I didn't notice anything during the battle…But a few weeks later before we were set to attack an Imperial supply depot in Kloden Marina told me that she had seen something back during the fight. She had saw that you spotted a sniper, but didn't take the shot. She said that the sniper was aiming at Nadine, one of our Darcsen engineers. She killed the sniper…but you were ready to allow one of us to be killed. I asked Oscar about it as well. He said that you had tried to order him not to give the Darcsens any cover…You failed in your duty. I decided that you were not fit to be a soldier of Gallia. After the operation I was going to have you arrested and court-martialed, and I didn't care what you thought about it."
"…So what happened?" Cezary muttered, his head once again buried in his hands.
"Kloden happened…" Catherine answered, her eyes once again drifting off into space.
***
The Kloden Wilderwood, the forest supposedly impenetrable by man or beast; the thick woods had made navigation nearly impossible. I it hadn't been for Welkin's knowledge of the area they might have never found the road leading to the supply base. Even knowing where their enemy was Catherine was having a hard time picking out targets in the foliage. The brush and trees provided excellent cover on top of the defenses the Imperials had erected. Judging from the curses coming from Cezary she knew she wasn't the only one having trouble. In addition to that they had to constantly shift position in order to get clear shots. The squad was advancing though, albeit slowly.
"When are they just going to give up?" Catherine regarded her partner out of the corner of her eye. Cezary, she had been worried that he had found out about his actions at Vasel. As far as she was concerned this was his last battle. She remembered her threat to him, but after learning that he would be willing to let his comrades die she didn't want him near anyone else in the squad. It didn't matter if he would be happy at being pulled out of the war, he was too much of a threat to his own side to be allowed to stay. She felt a little sorry for him. He was a good shot; with a better attitude and some experience he could very well have been an excellent soldier. As it was though the only thing he was getting was a court-martial after this.
"Hopefully soon, but we'll continue to fight so long as that base is out there." She had to admit he had a point. With the length the battle she was worried about how much longer her ammo would hold out. It didn't help that she had more missed shots than normal thanks to the trees. Cezary seemed to have ignored her as his rifle cracked and he muttered 'Got one…'
Catherine took the moment to get back into focus and sighted down her scope. Sweeping over the field she spotted an Imperial sniper hiding behind a tree. That wouldn't do; she marked his position. As he was still hiding she took a moment to glance at where he was aiming. Judging from the angle of his head she angled downwards and settled on Wavy. It made sense, Imperials tended to aim for Darcscens when they saw them. Settling back on the sniper she waited for him to uncover himself. He did so a moment later, coming out in a crouch, his rifle pointing right where she thought it might.
"Goodbye…" she muttered as she squeezed the trigger. But then the sniper ducked. He might have seen light reflecting off her scope, or he might have heard the report, but either way he ducked back behind cover. Even so her bullet almost got him, deflecting off his steel helmet.
"Clever one aren't you?" she chided herself as she cycled the bolt. She waited for him. He was moving to new cover, behind a fallen log, but he wasn't ducked low enough. An easy shot; she fired, and only heard an ominous click.
Oh no! She opened the bolt. That had been her last round. Cursing to herself she started going through her ammo pouches: empty, empty, empty! She swore that she had some ammo left, but every time she came up with nothing. The rifle's click echoed in her head, the same click that had sounded over twenty years ago. It was another time, and another war, but the same event was playing out again. She tensed up, looking down the scope, hoping that the sniper was staying under cover. No such luck he was already looking to find his target. She had no ammo, she couldn't do anything, No, not again…There has to be something I can…
Her eyes came to rest on her partner. Cezary had just finished topping off his magazine and was looking for a target, "Cezary! There's a sniper behind that fallen tree! Six hundred meters ahead! He's on the hill in front of the Edelweiss! Get him!"
Cezary glanced over at her, unsure of her sudden order but looked down his sights anyway. She saw him shift momentarily, and then frown. He had seen the intended target of that sniper.
"Cezary…please, don't let him die!" he momentarily looked at her, obviously surprised at her sudden panic attack, "Please…." She pleaded, her mind already resigning itself to what was about to happen. It was just like before; she had the target, she knew she could make the shot, but she had no ammo. Even if it would technically be Cezary's fault Wavy's blood would still be on her hands, just like before.
"Oh no…please no…" her mind was racing. Part of her was telling her to calm down. Even considering the circumstances she couldn't let her partner see her panic like this. But that was a small voice. She just kept going over what was about to happen. She kept seeing faces of friends decades gone. Their moans, their cries for help as she lay in a shell hole frantically searching for another round. She knew that she had to prevent it. Even if she had to threaten his life she would have to get Cezary's rifle and take the shot.
Her had was just about to snatch her pistol when she heard the report. Even though there was still gun fire going off up ahead everything seemed quiet save the echo of that one shot. She could hear the distinct clacking of the bolt opening, and the ping of the ejected shell. Trying to calm her nerves Catherine risked looking down her scope. The sniper lay over the log, with blood seeping through the back of his uniform. Her mind tried to get a hold of itself as she forced herself to calm down. Everything was okay, she had to stay professional. She almost didn't notice Cezary tossing an ammo pouch down beside her.
"Cezary…I" she said in nearly a whisper as she opened it, the pouch was full of ammo. Apparently he had been a bit more conservative with his shooting. She didn't know what to say. He had seen her at her worst. She had always tried to be calm and collected, especially around him, the one who kept trying to make her upset, and he had just seen what made her tick.
"Don't worry about it." His words snapped her back to reality. Cezary was standing, having noticed the rest of the squad had breached the last defensive line, and was moving on the base proper, "Everyone screws up eventually. I won't tell anyone."
"…We should move." Catherine said, finally managing to acknowledge him. Cezary just nodded and started off after the rest of them. She breathed a sigh of relief, and followed suit.
***
"I don't know how, but something changed in you Cezary. I know you didn't want to help Wavy. You two had been at odds…no, you hated him ever since the squad was formed, but you took that shot. You saved him…" Catherine slowly put down her cup. She looked like the experience still weighed heavily on her, "I knew that you still had a shred of humanity in you. I couldn't kick you out just yet…"
"So…what changed?" he had to know. It was quite frankly the first time he had heard of himself doing something that wasn't despicable.
"I saw it in your eyes then…" Catherine said, finally looking back up at him, "It was the first time I saw a little bit of humility in you. Something happened before Kloden that changed you ever so slightly, enough for me to know that you wouldn't pull anything like what happened at Vasel again."
"…So what happened?"
"I don't know, I've always wondered though…" Catherine seemed to drift off again before smiling, "I suppose I'll never find out though. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind-"
"No it's fine." Cezary had to chuckle a bit at that, "Believe me if I remember anything you'll be the first to know. So…how exactly did I fare afterwards?"
"Well, there was…" his host looked outside one of the windows, and seemed to notice how dark it was, "…I'm sorry, but it's getting late. I hope you don't mind if I stop there for the night."
"No, no that's quite all right." He agreed. It was getting late, and there was plenty of time to find out more about himself later.
"That's good to know…Well I'd hate to be a bad hostess so you can have the bed tonight-"
"No I've slept on it plenty. I'd just feel bad if I made you sleep on the floor." Cezary insisted, "Just give me a blanket and I'll make due."
"Are you sure…" Catherine started laughing herself, "Oh Cezary It's still strange seeing you like this. Okay, if you're going to insist then I have a spare bedroll in the loft."
Thankfully she didn't seem to be to worried about his health anymore so a little bit later he found himself relaxing underneath deerskin blanket and staring into the darkness. He wasn't sure what to think of himself now. He had apparently hated Darcsens, and he had been a troublemaker. Then again, he had also changed just a little bit. Maybe he got better as time went on, or was he like he had assumed, just an unfriendly bastard of squad seven.
He didn't want to dwell on such things. He couldn't just make assumptions of himself before he had heard his story. Still, as he drifted off to sleep it still bugged him. He had only just scratched the surface of his identity.
***
Author's Notes: And now we finally get to Catherine. She was one of my favorite characters, I mean who wouldn't want a plucky Irish sniper in their squad? Her ending was another one that I didn't really like. Maybe I might have written a fic about her, but after reading Huhn's 'A Life too Many' I think someone else already covered that really well. As an aside: Thank you Huhn! Thank you for making an ending that Catherine deserves! *ahem* So it's nice to actually bring her in. When writing the first flashback I actually had to think it over just a little since she's more known for being friendly to others. Making her much more of a stern person seemed odd, but ultimately I think it was a bit more appropriate. The comment Cezary made about her possibly being a Darcsen is a bit of my own reaction to her. I thought she was one until I realized 'oh wait O'Hara is a last name, guess not'.
As some of you might have guessed I'm also basing this somewhat off the manga as well as the game. Yes, he was about to let a sniper kill Nadine. Unfortunately that first volume is all that's been translated to English, but thanks to the power of tvtropes I saw that the manga author seems to agree in that Cezary is a person just as much as anyone else, and might have realized his mistake. But volume one is probably the most of the manga that I'll be basing the fic off of. It's all game from here baby!