Super Marcus
Author's Note: Please review if you like it. Hell, review it if you don't like it. Just please review it so I know how the audience feels.
Super Marcus
Chapter 4: Campus Fucker
Private Redshirt was the first guy off the Raven at the East Barricade landing zone. He took one step off the landing skid and a torque bow arrow smacked through his helmet and stuck in his forehead. Then the arrow exploded, spraying body parts all over Super Marcus.
"Yaw bitch!" yelled Super Marcus.
Then he squinted really hard at the Theron Guard who had killed Redshirt and melted him all over the courtyard's grass. Moving the twin death rays sideways, Super Marcus lit a park bench on fire and visually raped the grenadier taking cover behind it.
A drone started running at Delta Squad as they began to spread out across the LZ and advance into the courtyard.
"I got it!" Cole shouted for all to hear.
Cole then proceeded to fire an entire clip out of his Lancer from the hip and managed to single handedly kill three lumps of dirt, a propaganda poster, and bounce a round off his enemy's right combat boot. The Lancer clacked empty and Cole swore as he ejected the clip and started to reload.
"I've got this bastard!" Super Marcus bellowed, stepping out from behind a wall and clotheslining the drone so hard that it knocked the Locust's head off his shoulders in a bloody spurt.
A Longshot sniper rifle fired and Super Marcus flinched slightly as the bullet pinged off his doo-rag, which had been hardened into Kevlar by the emulsion exposure.
"What the fuck? Is that all you've got?" Super Marcus growled, turning towards the confused sniper who was standing behind a bunch of sandbags.
Super Marcus dashed across the courtyard, kicking slabs of pavement up in his wake. He dove across the sandbags and pulled the Locust sniper's lower jaw free of its face. Super Marcus used the jaw to stab his dentally FUBAR opponent in the eye and mash its brains up into chili before pulling the jaw out and throwing it at a Locust grenadier with enough force to knock the grenadier on his ass.
Super Marcus rolled over to the grenadier and curb stomped him into the pavement.
"Oh, bloody!" Super Marcus orgasmed out of his mouth, which was considerably more intact than that of the dead sniper he'd butt-fucked a moment ago.
"Boomers!" Dom blurted out.
"Boom!" one of the Boomers confirmed.
"Take 'em out!" Super Marcus barked.
Then Super Marcus jumped on the front of one of the Boomers and shoved a grenade down its throat. He didn't even bother to jump back off when the grenade went off and tore the Boomer in half, instead electing to ride the upper half of its carcass into the ground in a wet splash of blood.
"Oh yeah!" Super Marcus shouted.
Cole ran up to the second Boomer and tried to re-enact what his idol, Super Marcus, had done but instead was merely swatted aside by the barrel of the Boomer's massive Boom Shot grenade launcher. Cole stood back up in pain and tried to do it again.
"Cole! Get down!" Super Marcus shouted.
Cole did, and two yellow emulsion beams flew over his head and bisected the last Boomer vertically from the top of its head to its crotch. The massive beast fell apart with organs smacking into the ground creating a hell of a mess.
"Form up!" Super Marcus ordered now that the area was clear.
"Uh, Super Marcus, we're already right here," Dom said.
"Shut the fuck up Dom!" Super Marcus bellowed and was about to shoot Dom with his eye-beams when Anya interrupted him.
"Super Marcus, you can either take the street or go through the build-" she started.
"WE'RE TAKING THE BUILDING!" Super Marcus announced.
He turned and destroyed the building with his Hammer of Dawn vision. The whole structure collapsed to the ground in a thundering of debris and cloud of dust that would practically be able to be spotted from orbit by space stations and passing UFOs.
"Holy shit," Dom muttered.
Then Super Marcus saw with his super vision that there was a Locust Seeder on the other side of the ruined building that was vomiting Nemacyst into the sky rather disgustingly.
"Fucking die!" Super Marcus rumbled in his deep steriody voice.
He fired his emulsion beams and blew two holes in the Seeder as big around as one of Cole's biceps. The Seeder screamed bloody murder and slid back down into its emergence hole, dead.
"Get behind me!" Super Marcus ordered and picked up a Boom Shot in each hand.
They then ran through the debris of the building and into the next courtyard. When they emerged, they found twenty Locusts waiting for them.
"Surrender," hissed the head of them, a Theron Guard, "You cannot win."
"Well fill your hands you son of a bitch!" Super Marcus shouted and fired his Boom Shots.
Each of the two massive grenades took out nine enemies, leaving two still alive. Super Marcus grabbed each one by the head and cracked their heads together hard enough that they experienced a very violent mind meld. Now with the second courtyard cleared, Dom pointed out they're next obstacle.
"We have to get through that door," he said.
Super Marcus turned to the door and began to squint.
"Not a problem," he grumbled as his eyes started to glow intensely.