title: It Was Always You
prompt: SASUSAKU MONTH 2014
rating: T-M

summary: oo4: Sasuke had no idea that he would actually fall in love with Sakura.

dedicated to: my girls reviee, DeepPoeticGirl, and SR :)

.oo4.
There Was No Warning

She drives me fucking nuts. I don't know whether or not I want to slit her throat or take her for a romantic walk on the beach, get on one knee, and ask her to marry me. I had no idea one person could make me act this way, but apparently, if you're me and this girl is Haruno freaking Sakura, it's possible to go insane.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Sakura asked, her head resting on my lap. I stroked her hair with one hand and mindlessly watched TV with the other, not understanding what was going on. But she was smart, and she figured that out.

"Nothing," I muttered. I wasn't going to tell her how crazy she made me feel. Her ego didn't need any more inflating.

"Okay." She went back to play with her phone, holding it directly over her face. I was afraid she was going to drop it on her nose, like last time.

"Really? You're not going to prod?" I asked. Perhaps I was a little ambiguous. Yes, I wanted her to leave me alone, but no, I wanted her to ask me what was up and showed that she cared. Unfortunately, I couldn't have both.

"You need your alone time," she said, her finger moving rapidly back and forth to try and match the numbered tiles. "Damn. I lost." She set her phone aside and sighed, looking up at my face.

"Remember the day we met?" Sakura asked, a small smile emerging on her face. "I remember it, clear as day. December nineteenth, eleven a.m. We were at the coffee shop and you took my order and I took yours, and when I realized I didn't have my espresso I chased you down until I think I whacked you with the bag."

Sasuke loosened his jaw, remembering the impact it had on his body. Ouch.

"Yeah, I remember."

"You were so mad at me," she laughed. "I actually felt like I was going to piss myself. You gave me that death stare and I tried to apologize but nothing would come out, and then you told me it was fine and that I should just let it go."

"Yeah. I was in a hurry that day to see someone."

Sakura sat up, sitting cross-legged. "Was it your girlfriend?"

Sasuke hated talking about his exes with Sakura, who had only dated Sasuke. But she was eager, and she didn't say anything hurtful or hold any grudges, so he admitted it.

"Aa. I was going to break up with her that day. We hadn't been getting along. She wanted more than I could give her, and I couldn't allow myself to do so."

"She wanted you to love her?" Sakura asked. Damn. Sakura was smarter than he thought.

"If you must know, then yes. I tried. I really did. But there was no spark. It's like I dated for the sake of having a girlfriend."

"Well, I won't force you to love me," Sakura said, spreading out her legs on the coffee table and yawning. "I won't force you to like me, either. Just to be with me. You know?"

I held her hand, but she kept her eyes clothes. I opened my mouth to say "But I want to be with you anyway!" although my brain told me to keep quiet.

Sakura closed her eyes. I didn't know what she was thinking about, but her lips curled up in that familiar smile I loved so much, and I wanted to get on top of her and kiss them repeatedly until she laughed.

I remembered that day so well. I was furious at Sakura for further ruining my day. I was cold, I was pissed, and I was going to get my ass kicked so hard, which I did. I still have the scars from when Karin tried to claw my skin off with those huge acrylic nails.

And then I saw Sakura again at the same place, the next week. She asked me how I was doing and that it was good to see me again—although she said that sarcastically—and I didn't say anything. When they called out her name I thought to myself that it matched her personality, and then told myself to knock it off.

And for some reason, we kept bumping into each other—not just at the coffee shop, but at the grocery store, the park, even on the subway at one in the morning, where we shared seats.

All those days were a blur to me except for those few moments together with her. I felt my cold exterior start to melt around Sakura; no more was I the cold, unforgiving son of a bitch who let girls get their hopes up (as Karin so politely described), but I felt like I became warmer and gentler. I wasn't exactly a Romeo, but I treated Sakura well, even before we were actually "together." I gave her my coat when it was cold (and damn, do I regret it. I can still feel the cold chills on New Year), held her hand while we walked through the dark, and even sang some stupid song when it thundered because she was afraid of the sound.

Even so, we've also had our bad days. We fought over petty little things like who left the dishes out unwashed (my bad), who keeps pulling up the wrong things ("but dandelions don't seem like weeds! They're flowers! Unlike these yucky tulips, bleh!"), and "what, exactly, am I to you?"

"Everything," I murmured. Sakura peeked one of her eyes opened.

"Did you say something?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Okay, then." She closed her eye once more, looking as if she were sleeping in a warm place. I stroked her hair and twirled it casually around my fingers.

The first time we kissed was on Valentine's Day. She had asked me out first—which saved me the trouble of planning something—and we just took a walk around the park and fed ducks. Then, she turned and gave me a huge smack on the lips, catching me off-guard. And when she pulled back, she laughed.

"Sorry," she said. "I've never done that before."

For some reason, I thought it was totally suave and smooth to say, "Well, let me show you how it's done." So I put my hand behind her neck and leaned in and kissed her, and she just kind of went with it, and it was nothing like I'd experienced before. I wanted to stay like that forever, as cheesy as that sounds, just her and me on a cold park bench with her arms around my neck and ducks pecking at my ankles.

Our relationship progressed even more. We still had our fights, which got worse when Sakura was craving things—you know what I mean. She even threatened to "break up" our "non-existent relationship," which was still a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship even though it wasn't formally deemed that. But we managed to put that all away.

Our first time—together, I mean—was on some ratty old blanket Sakura refused to throw out in the backyard of our new apartment. It was May, and the evening weather was nice. Sakura wore a light yellow sundress, which accentuated her cleavage very nicely, I remembered. I was on top of her, and she literally stuck to my body as if she were a koala bear. Her eyes were shut super tight, and I think she was praying underneath her breath.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Eh." She shrugged, but allowed my skin to breathe. "I'm not super excited because I heard it hurts, but I'm glad to know that I'm doing this with you."

I gave her a hundred chances to back out of this before and during our lovemaking. Each time, she refused, so I made sure I made her feel good and erased any misgivings she might have had about sex. By the time I was in her, she was stretched out, adjusting herself, and then moving with me in a steady motion.

I was so excited I came early. I didn't think she cared, but I finished her up with my fingers and kissed her long and hard, collapsing on top of her and rolling the crummy blanket around us.

She held my face in her hands and smiled. Then, she told me "thanks," and went to sleep.

.

.

.

"You are so adorable," Sakura smiled, twirling her spoon around in her soup. I gave her a look, asking her what the hell she was talking about, but she just kept giving me that goofy smile.

Back in that December, I would never have realized that the person in front of me was someone I'd want to spend my life with. There is no other person who would be a better friend, a better lover, or a better partner than Sakura. I looked up from my soup to see her balancing chopsticks between her mouth and nose and laughing when it fell on the ground, and I smirked.

She was so quirky and ridiculous and insane and I loved it all. I loved her. Without these quirks there was no Sakura.

If someone had told me that I'd be so head over heels for Sakura, I would have flipped him off and told them he was crazy. There was absolutely no way I'd love someone like her.

But now, I'd like to go up to that person, give him a firm handshake, and tell him how right he was. There was no warning. I fell, good and hard, for Haruno Sakura. I never knew someone could make me feel this way.

"You want to try?" she asked, holding out another chopstick and pursing her lips to make it stay on her face. "It's fun!"

Kami, those eyes.

I put my hand over hers. "I love you," I said, I think for the first time out loud.

She acted like she didn't hear me, but while she was balancing that stupid chopstick, I know I saw her smile.

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