Rating: PG for this part but it's going to get more violent
Disclaimer: No profit is being made out of this and no copyright infringement intended.
Category: Drama, Romance
Notes: Reviews are most welcome. By the way, this story is set about 8-9 months from the end of GoF. To those who are confused, keep reading and it will all be clear... I promise... Harry's point of view right here. DJ Ibay, this is for you. In case, you missed it--this is posted in its unbeta-edited glory. Apart from my own poor efforts of editing my own work, no one else has touched this. So if anyone is good in editing the first-person/present perspective, give me a hoot! Character death in this chapter, but this is just the beginning... -cue suspense-thriller music-

SALVATION: CHAPTER FOUR

I ditch Hermione and Ron at the first opportunity and decide to go back to Hogsmeade behind their backs. They are still probably waiting for me to come out of the bathroom… But I had to do it. I failed miserably to convince myself that I could just turn my back on Cho and the whole town.

The town is on the move. Everyone is running towards different directions, mindless of my presence. There are screams and chaos; explosions rock the nearby buildings. The first wave of terror had probably begun. My whole body shakes but I keep on walking, without a clear direction as to where I want to end up. I want to kill as many Death Eaters as possible; I know the wrath in me is enough to wipe them all out. Debts had to be paid. In full. They took lives, and so I would avenge those lives they have taken. If only I can kill them over and over again.

I'm sorry, Hermione. I know the risks you have taken to keep me safe. But somewhere between Draco's betrayal and the self-sacrifices that were made, I realize that I have to stop running. I'm sorry, Ron. But I swear that my promise still stands, Voldemort will pay someday; I just don't know whether I'd be the one to avenge your father's death for you.

And now, my decision is final. Deaths have to stop. If my own death is the only way to put a stop to all other unnecessary deaths, then so be it.

"Cho! Where are you?" I yell at the top of my lungs but I know that my feeble voice will never be heard above the din of confused and terrified screams. Debris is scattered as well as fallen bodies and blood. Blood that need not have been given… "Cho! Cho! Cho!" A hand yanks me off the main thoroughfare of panicking people and pulls me into an alley. My hand prepares to strike. I'd not be killed easily, that's for sure.

"Harry! What are you still doing here?" Cho is chalk-white with shock and fear. Her robes are smothered with blood. "Harry—you should not have come back. It's too dangerous for you to be here!" Right now I don't care anymore. "Cho…I've made up my mind. I'm fighting with you. And there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise. This is not because I don't trust you—but I can't keep silent for long, sacrificing lives not meant to be sacrificed to run away and protect myself. I'm doing this, because like you, I know now what my purpose is."

"And what is that?"

"To protect the people who matter to me. If you believe in me, you will let me fight with you…you will let me protect you." The pain of my decision grinds my soul and yet, there is nothing else left for me to do. Nothing left for me to say. Cho breaks into tears and embraces me with such fierce abandon that the town's chaos blends into a passing mosaic. I close my eyes to feel the beating of Cho's heart against my chest; the rest of the world cease to exist. There are no panicking people, no bloodbath, no deaths, nothing else but the moment that may never come again. "If they find you here—"

I clutch Cho's shoulders and give my strongest embrace. "I don't care. I don't…I don't know what's going to happen, but all I know is that I'd rather spend one minute of my life protecting the people who mean the world to me even at the expense of my own life than spend what's left of it running from what I should have been doing all along."

Hurried footsteps rush past us but I keep my head down. I fear, too. But I've been afraid for too long. The ache in my heart slowly begins ebbing away. "We have to help as many people as we can. The first wave of terror is over; it's about to get worse." Cho nods.

The people rush past us in torrents. Cho and I inch through the throngs of people, bloodied and hurt, doing all that we can to help. I don't care what Hermione and Ron say, but the feeling of being here, fighting, is very, very different. To be here, with a definite cause to save the people in reality and not just in rhetoric, is a thousand times better than hopping from one city to another, promising the relatives of the massacred people that retribution is due and that Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Will-Bleed-Voldemort-Dry, would be the messiah for the people left standing. But they are only promises, unlike the actual feeling of being here—promises that may or may not be fulfilled.

I will gladly replace my privilege to live in different cities, comfortable and bruise-free with this liberation to do something for the people who have long been kept in the fathoms of promises yet to happen and pacified with visions of victory after countless bloodbaths and mass killings.

We are in another alleyway when Cho and I stop to catch our breaths for the first time since the first wave of terror ended.

Almost all buildings are destroyed; smoke from explosions and the unmistakable smell of death emanate from every nook and cranny of the town. The town is almost deserted now, save for Cho and I and a couple other elusive Death Eaters. But I don't attempt to tell Cho that we should leave. It can't be over…

It's too…easy. The Death Eaters wouldn't give up the search and destroy this easily. I'm sure their radar for the living and uncanny power to smell warm blood is not going to rest as long as there are several others like ourselves left standing. "Potter!"

And I'm right.

Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and Reddings block the only escape out of the alleyway. Their wands are ready to strike. "You are courageous enough to show even a strand of your hair to us? You, as good as signed for the cancellation of your lease on life," Goyle declares.

"Those are really big words, Goyle. Are you sure you even understand what you just said?" I'm being very bold, all right. I know I'm treading in dangerous waters because they can kill Cho and me without so much as batting an eyelash.

"Don't underestimate me—I can kill you right here," Goyle spits out.

"It wouldn't be too easy; I assure you," I spit back, as threateningly as I can. The moment to really fight for myself and for the people I love is finally here.

Goyle raises his wand and screams a spell I don't quite catch. I duck and spin on my side towards Cho, but I feel the electrifying warmth of the spell rush past my left ear. Cho hunches, arms covering her head. "Cho! Run!"

Reddings laughs eerily and waves his wand, hurtling a spell towards Cho's direction. My breath catches in my throat. I reach out to pull her down, but the spell touches her even before I do.

Blood rushes to my ears as I watch Cho fall. She can't be dead; she can't be. My hand holds my wand tighter and I face the group of Death Eaters in blinded fury. You will not catch me easily. And Cho is not dead. Because if she is…

"Avada Kedavra!" I don't know the emotions swirling within me any longer, but I know that guilt over having killed a human being is not one of them—if only I can kill Reddings over again. But there is still Goyle, Crabbe and Zabini to turn my attention to.

"You—" Goyle starts to say something, but the words die in his throat.

"Extrío Inflamaré!" A blazing fire erupts from the end of my wand, and the three's bodies fly away from the mouth of the alleyway.

"Cho." Still breathing. Thank god. "Enervate!" Big brown eyes look back at me. I thought I had lost her. What would I have done if Reddings had killed her? "Cho, listen to me—go to Munich and to safety. I'll take care of this," but she shakes her head.

"No—we will finish this together and go to Munich together!"

No Cho—I can't let you risk your life like this. It's me they want…I immerse myself in her brown eyes. There is determination there. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her. But those determined eyes shift to show terror. Her breath catches in her throat all of a sudden. The liquid intensity of her brown eyes suddenly leaks fear. "NOOOOO!!!"

Everything turns into what seems to be a scene from a badly-directed movie. My mind freezes over. My back is towards the entrance of the alley but Cho embraces me and turns me around. Screams flood my brain and my eyes are blinded with a flash of bright green light…and heaviness. It's too quick and too slow at the same time. The beating of my heart stops momentarily and I start choking. And the weight of Cho's body against mine crushes me from the inside; with arms like jelly and eyes blinded by disbelief, I collapse on the dusty alley, holding her.

I close my eyes even before the smoke and dust clear to reveal my worst fears. I want to be arrested with the dull thumping of Cho's heart in the silence, but there is nothing. There is nothing but the revolution within me, the unfathomable pain and anger in me. No—this can't be happening… when I open my eyes, Cho will be looking back at me, with her sweet smile, her sweet smile full of life and vibrance…and love… A choke escapes through my lips; I don't try to stop it.

Stop crying, Harry. When you open your eyes, Cho will be there. And the peace and calm of Munich will be upon you. But a yell boils in my throat. The silence shatters to a million pieces. Into a million broken pieces of myself. I scream. I scream Cho's name. I slowly open my eyes to see for myself the hard reality. Cho is dead in my arms, her blank eyes frozen in the look of calm and surrender to death that should have been mine.

A sad sob breaks my heart open and torrents of tears start flowing. Cho died in front of me and she caught death's throes that were meant for me. I hold her close, crying in abandon. I don't care anymore if they kill me. My attention turns to the noisy sobs that my lips aren't able to hold back, the cold of Cho's hand, the empty, unblinking look of her eyes where I can see myself…where I don't want to see myself with every teardrop that falls on her cheeks and trickles down to her jaw, her neck—because I failed her. And I failed myself.

My wand lies forgotten on my side, my knees hurt from the grainy, hard cement. The smoke clears and I see the outlines of four people against the light, melting like watercolor in the rain of my salty tears. Goyle's arm is raised and his hand is pointing directly to where Cho and I stood not too long ago; Crabbe and Zabini are poker-faced; Reddings is dead at their feet; and Draco—Draco is here…

His hand is on Goyle's raised arm, as if holding on to a lifeline. In his face, his eyes, is the most inscrutable expression of all of them. I look into those eyes and I find no traces of the Draco I used to know. But for a moment I imagine a degree of pain there—equaled only by my own.

"We should finish him right here," Goyle declares, pointing his wand at me again as I kneel there, holding Cho's lifeless body. Go ahead—kill me. Then my guilt and my worthlessness will be over and I will only prove to myself that I am, and will always be, useless—because I can't even protect the people I love. Even if you do kill me—I doubt I would even feel it…

"No," Draco speaks. I don't know that voice anymore. It sounds like a stranger's. "The Dark Lord needs him," he finishes. The cold voice, the detached tone even adds to my grief. Draco doesn't want me dead because he wants me to suffer. As if my present suffering is not yet enough.

"Just kill me—now. Get it over and done with," I beg. I can't believe I just begged for them to kill me, but I did. "Please…"

Draco raises his own wand and points it at me. His eyes are shining though I don't find out why anymore. "Stupefy!"

-emeraldine-