Chapter 4: A bird's Song (Reunion Week, 6months ago) – KPOV
I rejoined the group as Joanna and Enobaria were asking Peeta and Gale if there was anything entertaining left to be done in Twelve. Both Peeta and Gale seemed troubled by this but, I went on to tell them that I'd heard the returnees and newcomers had begun rebuilding the Justice Building in the square and The Hob. I jumped in and suggested to them, that we could pack a lunch picnic head to the river and I saw Pollux smile and try to communicate with me.
"He said, he's definitely up for that if Katniss agrees to sing again." Cressida translated with a smile and I felt my cheeks go warm.
"Well, I …" I wasn't sure what to say to that. The last time I sang there, I was in a very different place and I was also feeling a little flustered that it was Pollux asking me to sing, again.
"I'm really not that great and I wouldn't want to bore you or cause, poor baby Finn to want to scratch his ears off." I replied jokingly as I picked up the baby up from Annie and sat beside her with him, trying to divert attention from me in any way.
"That's not true." Gale replied just as Peeta also stated, "You sing nice."
I was about to argue back, when Cressida and even Beetee jumped in as well. "Katniss, your voice that day by the river was haunting but very nice." She said.
Beetee agreed with her, saying "I still remember that sad melody you sang, from when I reviewed the recordings from that day, for the propo."
"Well, thanks guys but I don't know… it's sort of embracing, I guess. Maybe I'll sing if someone else does too." I said, sounding more like a question but hoping no one would continue to press this.
Then, I recognized Pollux next gesture to mean "Please." His face looked so hopeful and I found it a little harder to deny him, but I just smiled and lightly shook my head, no. He smiled back and seemed to drop it and I was grateful.
When Haymitch and Effie finally joined us, they were all smiles and Joanna called them on it. So, they told everyone their news and were immediately congratulated by everyone. I too, was very happy for them. Annie jumped up to hug Effie and Peeta jokingly punched Haymitch's arm in a congratulatory way, as everyone sod to add their congratulations and well wishes. I stayed sitting with the baby on my lap and watched everyone, sharing their joy.
I was so engrossed in watching everyone that I was momentarily startled when a hand came to rest on my shoulder from beside me. I turned to see Pollux had moved and now sat beside me, where Annie had been. He was holding up a note pad that read, "Are you sure I can't convince you to sing for me again?"
It was so far from the last thing I expected, that I threw my head back in laughter. When I looked at him again, he was smiling widely at me. I couldn't help but find that he looked handsome smiling. I shook my head, once again finding it hard to deny him but not really wanting to give into singing. His smile dimmed a little then, and he seemed to study my face for a second before resorting back to his note pad.
Curious to see what he wanted to say, I looked down as he wrote, "I think you have the most beautiful voice, and I still dream of it some nights. Please?''
When he looked back up at me again, not only had I been struck speechless by what he'd written, but his intense eyes were boring into mine again. He was hopeful and couldn't deny him again, no matter how uncomfortable I might feel about singing.
"Okay, Pollux." I agreed and sighed before continuing. "I just feel, I don't know, awkward singing for people. Maybe, just for you then?"
He immediately smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically before going back to his note pad to reply. "I would love a private song from you, I look forward to it."
Before I could say anything back, Joanna interrupted us when she sat on my other side.
"Hey Brainless, what has you two so occupied, that neither of you noticed everyone has scattered?" Joanna asked in her typical way.
I looked up and realized we had, in fact, been left alone and I tuned back to Joanna and told her we were discussing the picnic, via notepad. She looked skeptical, but when Pollux waived the now closed notepad as proof, she nodded. She told us that Enobaria and Annie had been whisked away by Effie to begin wedding planning, which was not her thing. She told us the guys had gone to fetch everyone's bags, since they'd arranged everyone's sleeping assignments.
Only five houses were all that remained in the Victor's village after the bombings, each with three rooms. I lived in the first one on the right, Haymitch lives right across from me, and Peeta's house beside his. The only two other houses were next to mine, which had always remained vacant. I figured that's where our guest would stay.
Apparently, I'd been wrong about where everyone would stay. Joanna told us that Haymitch said that the third house on my side of the village was too badly damaged and no one could stay there. Instead, Effie would stay in one of the rooms in Haymitch's house, with Beetee in the third bedroom there. Peeta had already begun airing his house so that Annie and the Baby would use a room at his house. Joanna said she and Enobaria would share the third room at Peeta's. Then, she told me Gale, Cressida and Pollux would stay next door to me.
I looked over to Pollux and saw him nod in agreement, so I did too. I remained quiet as I processed all that. I was glad things were being arranged well and I wasn't going to have to be forced to accommodate anyone in Prim's old room. I was nowhere near ready to go in there, let alone, empty it or have anyone else stay there. Yet, I found that I was a tad apprehensive when I realized I'd be home alone all night. I wasn't so sure I was ready for that either, but I supposed I needed to learn to do so, at some point. I was a woman grown and needed to start acting like it.
Throughout the day, my house had become like The Hob used to look. People coming and going like one of those Capitol revolving doors. I grew accustomed to the noise that had invaded my home and found some measure of joy. Unbelievable as it seemed for me, I liked knowing I wasn't alone. Beetee had done an wonderful job on installing a new television system that came from a gadget installed on the ceiling. It could also be used for visual phone calls, where you could see the caller. Apparently, there was a camera that enabled the caller to see you on their end as well. He demonstrated it by calling my mother.
Mom looked worried when she received my call. Then, I noticed she got teary-eyed saying she was glad to hear from and glad to see me looking well. I looked around and noticed everyone excused themselves as we chatted. I apologized for not having kept in touch with her and she apologized for not having been able to make the trip back to Twelve. She told me she understood, too well, how I must have been feeling and felt ashamed for not being strong enough to come see me. After everything I've felt and been through, I understood that Twelve to her would be like another Arena for me. I told her I understood her better now and that I would be okay.
She told me, with tears in her eyes, that I already looked wonderful and that she knew Prim would be proud of how strong I was being. She promised to keep in better touch with me . She told me to thank Beetee on her behalf, for having installed a similar telephone system at her house. I knew i would definitely be taking Beetee as soon as I could. I also promised to call her more often. She told me to give Haymitch her love and to thank him for taking care of me when she couldn't. Her tears really fell over when she said that, but we ended the call soon after.
Some time later, I was still sitting on the same chair, thinking about everything she'd told me, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Haymitch standing above me with a curious look on his face.
"Everything okay with your mom, sweetheart?" He asked.
"Huh? Oh yes. She was fine. A little sentimental I think, but then again, I'm an emotional mess so I can't really complain." I tried to joke, but then remembered her message to him.
From the "She also told me to make sure I thanked you for her. She said she's grateful that you've taken care of me when she couldn't." I told him, and rested a hand on his still on my shoulder trying to convey the affection I felt for the man who'd been like a father to me for so long.
I noticed that Haymitch's eyes were stuck on our hands and tears seemed to be forming in them, which I didn't understand at all. I couldn't remember a time I'd ever thought I'd see such a thing from him. I wanted him to feel better, but I didn't know what to say until I remembered what else my mother had said.
"She said, she sends her love." I told him, hoping to cheer him up or have him make a joke, but I got neither response. Instead, his throat made a bit of a whining sound and he blinked hard for a moment.
He cleared his throat and said, "Sure, it's no problem." Then, he walked out the room leaving me more confused than worried.
I was just about to follow him when Joanna came back with the baby and informed me that Annie had gone to shower and she did not do diapers. Apparently, this was godmother duty and I forgot all about Haymitch as she plumped a happily drooling and smelly baby on my lap. I immediately kissed his forehead and he pulled on my hair the entire way to the baby's bag and went up to my room to change him. I wasn't something I was used to doing anymore, but remembered how I'd learned with baby Prim.
When I got back downstairs, I thought my house was empty since it was so quiet. I decided to set a sleepy Finn into the playpen that had been set up in the living room earlier. When I turned the corner, I saw Pollux was quietly sitting at the far end of my couch. He welcomed me with a smile and raised an eyebrow at Finn in my arms. I answered the question I figured he was asking.
"Joanna dropped him on my lap with a dirty diaper, so I changed him in my room. He's sleepy now so I'm going to set him down. Do you know where everyone went?" I told him and saw him nod and start to write down his reply.
I kissed Finn's forehead again and gently lowered him into his playpen and sat on the couch, beside it. I watched him cuddle himself and start to drift off in to baby dream word. I must have been watching him for longer than I realized, because the next thing I felt was Pollux slide closer to my side of the couch. He held out his note pad to me, so I read it.
"I think everyone went to their assigned rooms to unpack, rest or shower. I didn't really feel like unpacking, so I decided to come back after setting my bags in my room. I also didn't want to be a third wheel next door. When I don't see anyone here, maybe I could get a song out of you. ?"
I laughed silently, not wanting to wake Finn, but I felt my cheeks blush. I realized we might not get another chance alone, so I thought this was as good a time as any. When I nodded, he smiled and me.
"Would you like to hear the same one?" I asked, secretly hoping he didn't. That song now held sad memories that I didn't want to revisit.
He wrote his reply, telling me that he'd love to hear anything I sang to him, which made me blush again. I took a few seconds to think of what to sing, and the old melody filled my mind as I looked into Pollux's eyes. I just started to sing the lyrics I didn't realize I still remembered.
"She says I smell like safety and home
I named both of her eyes "Forever" and "Please don't go"
I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time yeah
This could be good, this could be good"
I sang softly, remembering not to get too loud to avoid waking the baby. I wasn't overly confident in my singing voice, but even I had to admit that Pollux seemed to enjoy it… if the smile on his face was anything to go by, so I continued.
"I can't change, even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change, even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm"
As I continued singing the rest of the lyrics, I felt Pollux take hold of my hand. I wouldn't be able to describe how it felt when he did. And, since I didn't want to falter in the words I was singing, I focused on them, instead of the feel of his hand holding mine as I got to the end.
"… Love is patient, love is kind
Love if patient, love is kind
Love if patient, love is kind
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm."
Truth be told, I was as mesmerized by his eyes, as he seemed to me in me while I sang. Neither of us moved, except I felt his hand tighten slightly around mine. I found I didn't mind at all and returned the gesture.
Then, he drew in a breath as if to speak. Naturally, no sound came out but I understood him as if he'd spoken and mouthed "Beautiful". He smiled softly at me. I took that to mean he thought the song was beautiful and I agreed.
"Yes, it's a very beautiful song. I can't believe I remembered the lyrics to it." I told him with a smile.
His smile never faltered as he shook his head, but I wasn't sure what he meant by that. He didn't let go of my hand to reach for the notepad, so I just went on to tell him how my dad would sometimes sing it to my mom when, i was little. I told him how I'd taught it to Prim when she was little, and how her voice was so much prettier than anyone else I'd ever heard.
He listened to me talk about Prim for a while until I realized I was probably boring him. Actually, I was surprised I'd spoken for so long and about Prim without crying. Eventually, he let go of my hand to use his note pad and we continued chatting that way for a while.
Annie was the first to return, looking for Finn, who was just waking up and getting fussy. She thanked me for watching him. I told her he'd been no trouble and napping the whole time. Annie explained that he was hungry and took him back to Peeta's, where they'd prepared lunch for him. At the mention of food, I had to admit I felt hungry again, too. I asked Pollux and he agreed to let me make us sandwiches, so we headed to the kitchen.
I prepared them and we ate at the kitchen counter. He used his hand gesture to thank me and I told him he was welcome. I told him I'd be happy to prepare sandwiches anytime since that was the extent of my cooking abilities, aside from boiling soup. He rolled his eyes and smiled. He pulled his note pad out from his back pocket and wrote to me.
"Thank you for the song, the sandwich and for spending time with me today. I enjoyed hearing everything you had to say, just as I'm sure I'd love anything you cooked or tried to."
That afternoon, we all went for a walk into the square. The town's people were all very happy to see me out and about and many of them welcomed Peeta and Gale back warmly. Some of them had escaped to Thirteen, thanks to Gale and they were especially happy to see him in town. They seemed to be even more inspired when he began helping them rebuild. There were children that still called me The Mockingjay and waved at me enthusiastically. I didn't shy away from them as I might have done recently. Instead, I played with them and introduced them to my friends. It was evident that some were wary of Joanna and Enobaria, but some of the older kids, the teenagers, thought they were cool. Beetee took lead on the electronic set up of things and I was grateful.
The rest of the week went by similarly. I spend time with everyone and even visited them at the other houses as well. We went to the river twice and we all pitched in at The Hob's rebuilding several times. I got to see how well things there were progressing. I was genuinely happy to see life going on, even after all the devastation. It would take time, but Twelve could be rebuilt. With a much better government in place that allowed trade and help from the different districts, I knew Twelve would be a much better place than it ever could have been. It gave me hope that I could do the same... be rebuilt stronger than before.
x-x-x-x-x-x
A/N: The song Katniss sings to Pollux is "She Keeps me Warm", By Mary Lambert.