The Muppets Revamped!
Beware... there's a sub-plot.
Captain Gundam bowed politely to his newly returned audience. "Hi, ho, everyone. I hope you're settled in, because our special guest should be arr-"
Without warning, Captain's shoulder was abruptly shoved. The Gundam spun around right into the gigantic mouth of a man-sized milkshake. Master Shake, to be specific. Master Shake wore his usual pompous expression as he looked down upon the itty-bitty Gundam. "Hey, you're the host of this little school play, right?"
"School play-" Captain shook away his confusion and counterred, "Um, sir, this is The Muppet Show."
"Yeah, whatever, you're the host, right?"
"Yes."
"Are you are in charge... of the invitations, right?"
"Well..." Captain looked to his right in concentration. "Sort of, I mean, we have a base cast of actors that were pre-determined, and then we bring in anyone we think is good-"
"Yeah, yuh-huh, right," Master Shake interrupted Captain. "Then, if that is the case, WHY WASN'T I INVITED!"
"Sir!" Captain hushed his voice (the audience could still here him, sadly). "You're an 'Adult Swim' toon! This is a K-rated fanfiction, I can't chance you swearing, or worse, onstage!"
"Oh, is that so?" Master Shake's lid dropped suspiciously down his eyes. "Well, since I'm not good enough for ya, maybe you let my friend, Mr. MAGNET, onstage!"
&&&
From out of nowhere, Master Shake threw a magnet straight onto Captain's chest! The robotic one screamed in agony as bolts of electricity began to fly from his body! From the sidestage, Shute paniced and began to run out to help his friend; he didn't get two steps before Master Shake turned around, pointed to the running boy, and shouted, "SUBDUE HIM!"
Inu-yasha burst from a fold in the curtains and scooped the boy into the air by his waist! The audience, realizing they were under attack, screamed and ran for the doors!
"LOCK THEM IN!"
The doors were slammed shut on either side by The Mayor and Tom Peters. Drums pounded from the speakers.
Mayor and Tom: (weakly) We're not gonna take it!
Inu-yasha saw Jack's shadow leaping up behind him; the dog demon spun around and caught the skeleton by the neck, pulling the "bonehead" close to his nose.
Inu-yasha: No, we ain't gonna take it!
Master Shake pulled the magnet from Captain's chest. The Gundam fell backwards, and as he fell, Master Shake caught something from Captain's thigh: KERMIT'S MAGIC KEY!
Shake: We're not gonna take it anymore!
As he held the key, it grew to the size of a longsword! Master Shake held the key above his head proudly.
Shake: We've got the right to choose and
There ain't no way we'll loose it!
This is our life, this is our song!
From backstage, hundreds of cartoons sprang from out of the backdrop and ran for their lives, followed by the Adult Swim animes! Gene Starwind fired a shell that caught Johnny Bravo, Dee Dee, and Snagglepuss in a net.
Gene: We'll fight the powers that be, just
Don't pick our destiny, 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong!
The Smurfs yelled for help as The Oblongs tossed them into pet carriers the size of SUVs, getting in about 300 Smurfs to a cage with room for some of the third-rate Nicktoons!
Oblong family: Oh, we're not gonna take it!
Brock from the Venture brothers tossed CatDog into a dressing room with Inspector Gadget, Rocky, and Bullwinkle, and quickly locked the door behind him.
Brock: No, we ain't gonna take it!
Alphonse and Edward were busy tieing Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Eduardo to a support beam as they sang.
Al and Ed: We're not gonna take it anymore!
Master Shake worked his way through the panicing audience, whacking random people with his magic key.
Shake: Oh, you're so condescending.
Your gall is never-ending.
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you!
Zorak snickered in glee as he bound and gagged Ash and Mandy to their chairs. The two cartoons shivered in fear as Vash sang directly into their ears.
Vash: Your life is trite and jaded,
Boring and confiscated.
If that's your best, your best won't do.
The Swim Toons gathered in the aisles, Shake conducting them all with the golden key.
Swim Toons: Woo-ooaaa-oooh!
Woo- ooaaa-oooh!
Shake: We're right!
The Swim Toons punched the air in triumph!
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Shake: We're free!
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Shake: We'll fight!
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Shake: You'll see!
Swim Toons: YEAH!
The Swim Toons stormed the stage and seats, tipping over pews and pulling down curtains in an excited frenzy, the frenzied Inu-yasha leading the whole bunch!
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it!
No, we ain't gonna take it!
We're not gonna take it anymore!
We're not gonna take it!
No, we ain't gonna take it!
We're not gonna take it anymore!
Fry appeared from nowhere and hopped onto Space Ghost's head for height.
Fry: NO WAY!
The Swim Toons flooded the backstage and began ripping everything apart, every prop, every backdrop, every costume! Some of the younger toons, and Eduardo, cried and pleaded for mommy while the adult toons tried to break loose from whatever was holding them. Captain Gundam became conscious just as American Dad's Stan Smith was placing a screaming Shute into a large duffle bag; the pent-up anger inside of him flushed through his body like a dam had burst. He leapt to his feet, but before he could land a punch, both of his arms were caught by Bender, Fullmetal Alchemist Ed, and Radical Edward. The Swim Toons circled the Gundam; now that they had trapped the rest of the toons, their only real threat was at their mercy.
Swim Toons: Woo-ooaaa-oh!
Woo-ooaa-oh!
Shake: We're right!
The Swim Toons got closer.
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Shake: We're free!
Closer! They were at arm's reach. Captain could feel himself shaking, his fists tightly clenched.
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Inu-yasha pushed Master Shake out of the way and screamed into Captain's face.
Inu-yasha: We'll fight!
Captain felt like his head was about to burst from the volume.
Swim Toons: YEAH!
Master Shake smacked Inu-yasha away with his giant key.
Shake: You'll see!
Swim Toons: YEEEAAAAAAAAAH!
Bender tossed Captain to the ground, the rest of the toons parting like water to let him land flat on his face.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it!
Peter Griffin hopped onto Captain's back and sang over Captain's head.
Swim Toons: NO! We ain't gonna take it!
We're not gonna take it anymore!
Andy and Kevin French flung Captain into the orchestra pit, where he was quickly swamped by puppets from Robot Chicken.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it!
Inu-yasha: NO!
Swim Toons: No, we ain't gonna take it!
We're not gonna take it anymore!
Shake: Just you try and make us!
The Swim Toons flipped Captain back up onto the stage.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it!
Shake: Come on!
Swim Toons: No, we ain't gonna take it!
Fry and Bender pulled Captain up by the armpits and let the rest of the toons tie him up in Futurama's famous Unbreakable Diamond filament.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it anymore!
Captain tried to escape, but found that his arms wouldn't even budge under the filament. Finally broken, Captain fell to his knees in defeat, keeping him eyes to the ground.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it!
Shake pointed to the backstage. "Put him with the others!"
Swim Toons: No, we ain't gonna take it!
Frylock pick Captain up with his eyebeams; the Gundam was as limp as a ragdoll.
Swim Toons: We're not gonna take it anymore!
With a tired, "here-I-go-again" sigh, Frylock carried the lifeless Gundam backstage.
&&&
Captain was tied to a square support beam along with Jack Skellington, Eduardo, Yogi Bear, and Raven from Teen Titans. Jack noticed Captain's unusual posture; he was limp and sagging to one side (he was tied directly on top of a corner), and his eyes were strangely sunken. "Captain?"
"Captain no es bueno." Eduardo explained, knowing that look very well. "Su corazon esta quebrado."
Jack raised his eyebrow. "I don't speak Spanish."
"Captain's finally broken," Raven explained, knowing the situation very well. "This whole fanfiction has been nothing but bad events that he had to take care of. The Adult Swim cartoons have finally broken his spirit. We've lost him."
"Oh no..."
"He-ey, Captain," called Yogi from the other side of the post. "Upsy-daisy, now. Time to stop with the moping, and make with the hoping."
"Yogi es right!" Eduardo grunted, hopping up in his ropes. "We have to try to escape!"
Captain just sighed and closed his eyes. "We can't..."
Raven sniffed in scorn. "And why is that?"
"Because I won't let you!"
Master Shake stabbed the floor in front of Captain with the end of the key, smiling as he was quickly flanked by Inu-Yasha and Spike Spiegel. "Look at you, you little baby cartoons made for little baby people, you babies!"
"I not a baby!" Eduardo shouted; he was quickly reduced to a shivering ball of fur by a growl from Inu-yasha.
Shake laughed in triumph, tucked the key's tip under Captain's chin, and pointed the Gundam's eyes at his face. "You think your so high-and-mighty, Mr. Big-robot-fancy-person, but I'm in control now! This show is mine now, it belongs to me, and no one else!"
Inu-yasha and Spike gave eachother a look, and Inu-yasha jabbed Shake with his elbow. "Ahem."
"Oh, right," Shake turned around. "It belongs to me, and you people. Who are you again? What are you called? Mangos?"
"Animes," Inu-yasha grunted.
"Right, whatever." Shake walked away. "Listen, one of you who was up next. Some squinty-eyed guy with a gun- wait, what am I saying? That could be any one of you an-mes!" he added with a laugh.
"An-i-mes!" Inu-yasha snapped.
"And I'm up next." Spike spoke in a very low tone, even for him. He shuffled to the stage, barely lifting his face.
"No, you're not, squinty-eyed," Shake interrupted, "Because I canceled your act."
Spike's head snapped up. "What?"
Shake didn't answer; instead, he turned around ot face Inu-yasha. "Okay, you, kitty-boy, yo-"
"I'm a dog-demon, milkshake!" Inu-yasha snap.
"Are you kidding? All you animes are cat-people, don't question me!" Shake whacked Inu-yasha in the nose. "I know these things! You guard the prisoners, I need to go torture Meatwad."
Master Shake quickly shuffled away; Inu-yasha hissed under his breath and sat down cross-legged on the floor.
"This is not gonna be pretty," Raven announced.
&&&
Radical Edward happily lept in front of the curtain. "Presenting, the Aqua Teens Revamped!"
The curtains parted to an unhappy, booing audience. Master Shake moved his eyes to the theme song's beat and scooted around stage to the music..
Master Shake: My name is
Shake-zula.
The mic "rula''!
The old schooler!
You want a trip?
I'll break it to ya!
Shake disappeared, leaving a confused Tom Peters in his wake. Tom glanced about in a confused way, reciting his lines more than rapping them.
Tom: I'm, uh, Frylock, and I'm on top. Rock you like a cop. Meatwad, you're up next with your "knock-knock".
Brak scooted onstage, bouncing about like an Oompa-Loompa.
Brak: Meatwad make the money, see?
Meatwad get the honeys, G.
Travel in my car, livin' like a star,
Ice on my fingers
And my toes,
And I'm a "Taurus".
Brak was joined onstage by Tom; the both of them were shoved away by Shake, who held his giant key proudly as he sang.
Group: 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens!
Make the homies say "Ho!",
Make the girlies wanna scream!
'Cause we are the Aqua Teens!
Make the homies say "Ho!",
Make the girlies wanna scream!
Shake: Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
Brak: Number one in the hood, "g"!
&&&
Shake sat in his favorite armchair, smack in the middle of a perfect re-creation of his armpartment. Tom Peters stood in the back, looking confused, while Brak played with a small collection of troll dolls behind the TV, mostly hidden from the audience's view. Shake swung his key around, looking a bit bored even with the TV on.
And they just stood there...
Tom raised a hand. "Um, Shake, shouldn't we be... I dunno, doing something?"
"YES!" Shake sunk back into his chair. "But I don't know what."
"You don't k-"
"I forgot my notebook!" Shake snapped, interrupting Tom. "You know how hard it is to keep track of that notebook! It's... camouflaged, or something. It blends in with the surroundings."
"What su- what surroundings?" Tom asked. "It's bright blue."
"The sky."
It took Shake a few minutes to realize his stupid remark. "It's under a spell! An evil witch had enchanted my notebook!"
"Oh, Frylock is a witch, he's a big, fat witch, he's the biggest witch in the whole wide world-"
Several members of the audience chuckled despite themselves. Shake threw the key at Brak's head. "Shut up."
"OW!" Brak shook off the pain and, bored, picked up the key. "Oo, look, I'm that wimpy kid from Kingdom Hearts!"
Sora screamed from a faraway dressing room. "I AM NOT A WIMP!"
"SHUT HIM UP!" Shake commanded some unseen croney.
WHACK!
"OW!"
Master Shake bounced up from his chair and took back the giant key. "And you, you keep your weirdo kitty hands off of my key, Andy Merril."
"I'm not Andy Merril, I'm Brak."
"Yeah, you're the replacement Meatwad. And that means replacement PAIN!"
Shake then began whacking Meatwad repeatedly with his key, poor Tom Peters doing nothing but lightly reprimanding the oversized Milkshake.
&&&
Raven, Captain, and Eduardo were just close enough to the stage to where they could see some of the act and here the ghastly improvisations from Shake and Brak. "And so we witness the death of improvasational theatre..." she sarcastically commented.
Jack moaned in a mix of annoyance and sheer pain. "They're killing the show! Captain, we have to do something!"
"We can't."
The surrounding toons jumped a little as Captain finally decided to speak. "As long as Shake has the key, he's in total control. And we can't get past the animes. We're drawn too strong."
"'We're'?" Yogi tried to turn his head around to see Captain.
"I'm an anime," Captain responded, surprised. "You couldn't tell?"
Suddenly, there was a crash from the back rooms; Lois Griffin burst from a pile of boxes and began running for the back door! Shocked and delighted, Jack, Raven, Captain, Eduardo, and Yogi each tensed up in their bonds and cheered Lois on!
She was tackled by Inu-yasha by the time she reached the doorknob.
"No!"
"Lois!"
Lois, herself, couldn't tell who was calling her through the ringing in her ears. As she was being lifted and carried away by a thick set of arms, she cried to no one person in particular, "You just wait! We'll find a way to escape, we'll take back our show, and we'll show that Milk-jerk who's boss! Captain, help! Do something!"
The tiny Gundam twitched at his names mention; he tightened his muscles and looked at his feet, deep in thought...
&&&
Lois was tied to her piano bench, playing a plunkity 50's tune while her husband, Peter, rocked along like an idiot to some unknown beat.
Peter: I got... rhythm!
He had no rhythm. He was completely off beat.
Peter: I... got... rhy- thum.
I got rh-
Lois interrupted, talking and playing the piano at the same time. "Peter, stop! First of all, how could you do this to us? How could you join up with some giant fast-food item and take over the show that, need I remind you, we were performing just fine without bothering anyone!
"Second of all, you're totally off, it's like this."
Lois: I got rhy-thm!
Peter just laughed. "Lois, I know you're a mom, and as such, you have to think like a child sometimes. But this is the adult chapter, and we're gonna do it right this time, okay?"
Lois sighed pitifully and kept playing.
Peter: I! GOT! RHY! THM!
Igot... ryhthm!
I got! Rhy! Thm!
Lois stopped playing immediately. "That's it, that's it, I'm not doing this anymore."
"Aw, come on, Lois!"
She sighed again. "All right. just lemme make an adjustment."
She pulled a pen out from behind her ear and scribbled quickly on the music sheet. "Here. Read these words instead."
Peter took the paper and scanned it quickly as Lois started quickly.
Peter: I don't got rh-
"Oh, oh, that's real mature, Lois!"
"Don't talk to me about mature, Peter!"
And the two began to shout so loud that they were removed from the stage.
&&&
Jack chuckled slightly as Lois and Peter were dragged apart. "They can't even keep it together for one act at a time."
Inu-yasha flashed his fangs at the talking toons. "Shut up!"
Yogi nudged Eduardo's arm with his elbow (the only part of his body that wasn't securely fastened to the post). "Ed, somebody's comin'!"
The purple monster gasped. "Everybody! Silencio!"
Brendon, Melissa, and Jason of "Home Movies" were in the middle of a heated arguement with Shake. Melissa pointed her squiggle-visioned hand at Shake's key. "... and you shouldn't even have that! It doesn't belong to you!"
"Well, it didn't belong to him either!" Shake argued, pointing the giant key at Captain. "It belongs to me now, because I stole it from a theif, like Sly Cooper."
"Hey-hey-hey, Captain's not a theif!" Brendon sounded, his voice violent yet quiet. "Kermit gave him that key!"
"And you turned it into a keyblade?" Jason didn't look at Shake as he spoke, but he was smiling wickedly. "I mean, come on, a keyblade."
"Yeah, that's kinda weak, man-"
"No, it is not!" Shake interrupted Brendon!
"Yeah, it is, because you stole that from Kingdom Hearts," Melissa counterred.
"Look, Kingdom Hearts kicked the sorry little cans offa mosta the lame-o games that the Japanese come out with," Master Shake explained. "Even if the main character was a total wimp."
Sora screamed from a faraway dressing room. "I AM NOT A WIMP!"
"Whack that Final Freak-asy wimp upside the head!" Shake commanded some unseen croney.
WHACK!
"OW!"
"Anyway..." Shake continued as if nothing has happened. "If you won't agree to go on, I'll just cancel your act. I did it to the Bebop-ers, I did it to the rest of your little squint-eyed friends, I'll do it to you!"
Melissa began to say something, but Shake stopped her. "No, you know what, never mind! If you love those flippin' mangos so much, then go marry 'em, because they're allowed to at, like, 10 or something!"
Melissa gasped in shock at Shake's horribly racist comment. "That's terrible!"
Brendon, stunned by the unending anime slurs, began to stutter. "Y-you know, that's- that's not true- an- you're gonna make the animes really, really mad one day-"
"And what are they gonna do?" The milkshake smiled in triumph. "They've got that weirdo samurai loyalty thing, they can't touch me, isn't that right, Kitty boy!"
Inu-yasha's face was in a full snarl.
"Precisely!" Shake waltzed back onto stage. "My public, there's been a slight change of acts again. so deal with it..."
Brendon, Jason, and Melissa spun around to see Captain's eyes aflame, his arms straining against the unbreakable diamond filament.
"Kangaerangenai koto da!" Captain spouted.
"Shinjirarenai!" Inu-yasha responded.
Jack and Raven backed away as best they could. Eduardo's horns twitched as Captain and Inu-yasha were suddenly deep into a lightning fast, Japanese conversation. "What they say?"
Raven only knew a little Japanese, being half-anime, but she knew enough to translate, "They're both mad... something about Master Shake... and the acts-" The thoughts suddenly connected in her head. "They're mad because Shake's not letting the animes' do anything!"
"What else?" Jack urged Raven to continue. The blue-clad one closed her eyes and focused.
"Inu-yasha's gonna lead a rebellion," Raven spoke. "Get all the animes together and fight for contr-"
Inu-yasha bolted to his feet and ran away!
"Ikanaide!" Captain cried, but it was too late. He slammed his head against the post, his fists still tight with fury. "He didn't release us."
"Well, that's because he can't, you know, he-" Brendon's throat choked up as soon as the toons started to look at him. "I mean, it's the Unbreakable Diamond Filament, it's doesn't, you know, break-"
"Wait, I know somebody who can help!" Melissa ran towards the stairs. "You guys try to untie them!
&&&
Shake was interrupted in the middle of the beginning of his long, LONG monologue about... well, himself by the the drums playing over the speakers. He held the keyblade up, brandishing it like a sword, his eyes frozen in fear. Inu-yasha's voice came from the shadows of somewhere, unable to be pinpointed.
Inu-yasha: Are you ready, Gene?
Gene Starwind apparated from the curtain, holding his gun tightly in one hand.
Gene: Uh huh...
Inu-yasha: Roger?
Roger: Yeah...
Roger Smith snuck up behind Shake, making the human-sized food item jump three feet to the left.
Inu-yasha: Al?
Shake, unknowingly, backed straight into the giant armor suit.
Al: Okay.
Shake screamed and ran for the door, the audience murmuring with uncertainty.
Inu-yasha: All right, fellas...
LET'S GOOOOOOO!
Inu-yasha jumped down from the rafters right in front of Shake, sneaking slowly forward and pushing Shake towards the stairs.
Inu-yasha: Oh, it's been gettin' so hard
Living with the things to do to me.
Shake smiled nervously. "Hey, if this is about the mango thing, I didn't mean any-"
The dog demon simply pushed his face forward, making sure his fangs stuck out viciously.
Inu-yasha: My dreams are gettin' so strange,
I'd like to tell you everything I see.
With one great bound, Inu-yasha leapt all the way to the other wall of the theatre, clinging to the wall like a lizard. The other animes closed it on Shake, their eyes gleaming.
Inu-yasha: Oh!
I see a man in the back, as a matter of fact, and his eyes are as red as the sun!
And the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her!
Shake felt a hot point of light upon the back of his head/neck; Faye Valentine was pointing her laser at his brainstem.
Faye: 'Cause she think she's the passionate one.
Animes: OH YEAH!
Inu-yasha: It was like lightning!
Shake's key was blasted out of his hand by Lil' Slugger's bat! The audience began to panic and started to run for the doors.
Inu-yasha: Everybody was frightening!
Shake was picked up and tossed to the wall by Canti the FLCL robot.
Inu-yasha: And the music was soothing!
Shake just barely got time to get his bearings before Miroku had smacked him away with his staff.
Inu-yasha: And they all started grooving!
YEAH! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!
With a wave of his claw, Inu-yasha sent the animes into battle against the bewildered Master Shake! They all took turns throwing Shake into the scenery and audience, making sure not to avoid the delicate areas (but, for not reason, not trying to take the key. Master Shake had actually picked up back up several times, only to have it smacked away again).
Animes: And the man in the back
Said "Everyone attack!"
And it turned into a Ballroom Blitz!
And the girl in the corner
Said "Boy, I wanna warn ya
It'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz!"
Ballroom Blitz!
Ballroom Blitz!
Ballroom Blitz!
Ballroom Blitz!
Shake giggled innocently between punches. He chirped up from the floor, "Hey guys, if you're mad, you know, I can fix this."
Inu-yasha dropped down from the ceiling in front of Shake, walking on his knuckles like a gorilla.
Inu-yasha: Oh, I'm reaching out for something,
But touching nothin's all I ever do.
Inu-yasha dug his claws into Shake's head, pulling the man-food towards his teeth.
Inu-yasha: Oh, I softly call you over.
When you appear, there's nothin' left of you.
The dog-demon blinked, and suddenly his eyes were red and manic; demon form. With a flick of his claws, Shake smacked into the stage backdrop, the key flying sideways into the backstage area until it landed just out of Jack Skellington's reach.
Inu-yasha: OH!
And the man in the back is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky!
And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner-
Shake felt a familiar gun pressed against his braincase.
Faye: She could kill you with a wink of her eye.
Animes: OH, YEAH!
With the force of their voices, the milkshake was thrown upward into a ceiling fan, which shocked him.
Inu-yasha: It was electric!
The fan smacked him like a baseball into Ash and Mandy's balcony. The two toons, still bound and gagged, tried to wriggle away from the food product as the audience screamed with renewed shock.
Inu-yasha: So frantically hectic!
A soft rumble came from the backstage; the American Adult Swim toons were rushing out to attack!
Inu-yasha: And the band started leaving-
Inu-yasha, content with Shake being trapped in the balcony, turned instead to the small army of badly animated flash toons and canceled WB programs.
Inu-yasha: 'Cause they all stopped breathing!
YEAH! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Easy frightened, all the Swim Toons stopped in their tracks, and the animes broke on them like a wave.
Animes: And the man in the back
Said "Everyone attack!"
And it turned into a Ballroom Blitz!
And the girl in the corner
Said "Boy, I wanna warn ya
It'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz!"
Ballroom Blitz!
&&&
Jack stretched his leg as far as he could, but he was still a few good inches away from the key. "I can't get it."
"Great..." Captain moaned sarcastically. Out of the top of his eye, he spotted a flash of red. Snapping his head up, he saw Frylock's eyes beginning to glow.
"NO, STOP!"
"Relax!" Frylock de-powered his eyes in a show of goodwill. "I'm just going to shoot the Unbreakable Diamond Filament and set you free."
"But... es unbreakable!" Eduardo reminded the flying fries.
"Trust me," Frylock said while smiling (and inadvertently flashing his braces). "Back where I come from, there's nothing I can't blow up."
He didn't even warn them.
BOOM!
Frylock didn't even need to wait for the smoke to clear before Captain's hand shot out and grabbed the key. The frybox turned around quickly. "You distract the animes, I'll go free everyone else!"
&&&
Jack Skellington: OH YEAH!
Inu-yasha's head snapped around; the Pumpkin King caught him by the neck and flung him aside.
Jack: It was like lightning!
Shake, finally recovered, decided to jump down to the ground when he saw a flash of gold. He caugh Captain Gundam shrinking the magic key and sticking it back underneath a fold of armor on his thigh. "GIMME THE KEY!"
Captain responded by pulling out his beamsaber and smacking Shake into the nearest staircase.
Jack: Everybody was frightening!
Faye Valentine and Roger Smith each pulled out the closest gun they could, only to have Raven conjure them out of their hands. The animes and whatever Swim Toons were still able to see began to panic, wondering whether to surrender with dignity or fight the small band of powerful kiddy toons.
Jack: And the music was soothing!
Realizing that they were about to be VERY overwhelmed VERY soon, Inu-yasha switched out of demon form and pointed to the back door. "Cut through the audience! Everyone retreat!"
The animes and Swim Toons (including Shake, who had a knack for snapping back into consciousness when no one was looking) all bummed rushed the door. They were, however, quickly blocked off by Yogi Bear and Eduardo.
Jack: And they all started grooving!
Yogi and Ed each let out a ferocious roar that scared the animes into turning tail back towards the stage. They barely took a step forward when they were suddenly accosted by an swarm of Smurfs and every single character they had locked up backstage (all six-hundred twenty-six of them).
Jack: YEAH! YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Cartoons: And the man in the back
Said, "Everyone attack!"
And it turned into a ballroom blitz!
The animes were swamped by the various toons. Amisdt the crazy battle scene, the audience all found their way to the edge of the theatre and cheered on the kiddy toons, and (slinking along the shadows) Shake was trying to open an emergency exit door.
Cartoons: And the girl in the corner
Said, "Boy, I wanna warn ya,
It'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz!"
Ballroom Blitz!
Ballroom Blitz!
Shake managed to unlock the door and flung it open, only to find Frylock on the other side. "Oh no, you don't!"
Cartoons: Ballroom Blitz!
Shake tried to push past Frylock, but the flying fries zapped shake into the middle of the fight.
Cartoons: Ballroom Blitz!
And there was a weird, very short pause in the fight, then suddenly every eye was on Shake. Each toon, Japanese, made for adults, or otherwise each saw the Master Shake and recognized him as the main enemy. Without a word exchanged, the toons turned towards the hapless creature.
Inu-yasha: It's-It's a Ballroom Blitz!
Inu-yasha was joined at his side by Jack and Captain.
Inu-yasha, Jack, and Captain: It's-It's a Ballroom Blitz!
The rythmn reached into the cores of the toons.
All: It's-It's a Ballroom Blitz!
YEAH! IT'S A BALLROOM BLITZ!
And then, again, pandemonium!
Captain without warning turned to the camera and looked at you. "We'll be back next chapter. This is gonna get a little too bloody for its rating in just a few seconds..."
&&&
WOW! THAT TOOK FOREVER! It was like, I was real interested in writing it, then I wasn't, then I was, but I had writers block, and the repition! MAN! And there were two acts that I canceled in this fic. I'm not going to tell you what they are, because I might do a "deleted scenes" chapter like I did with "The Hi and Lo Points of Camping", and I don't wanna spoil it for you.
Man, there were almost too many toons to list! Oh well, here goes:
Paranoia Agent
Big O
Cowboy Bebop
Inu-yasha
Fullmetal Alchemist
Yogi Bear
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Teen Titans
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Tom Goes to the Mayor
The Brak Show
Snagglepuss
Outlaw Star
Home Movies
Mission Hill
American Dad
Space Ghost; Coast to Coast
That show with Vash the Stampede
Ed, Edd, and Eddy
Kingdom Hearts
They're mostly just cameos, though, so keep your eye out.