Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
Solitude, Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Hmph…so this is isolation huh? I walk next to Ibiki silently. He hasn't tried talking to me, and I'm not going to bother starting a conversation with him. I never really liked talking. Shikamaru was right this is troublesome. I stifle a sigh and glance up at the sky. The sun chased away all the stars now. What a drag… I snort softly, not bothering to look at Ibiki as he glances at me. Hmph…now I sound like Shikamaru… The rest of the walk is uneventful and quiet as Ibiki escorts me. When we reach a building I freeze. Ibiki stops next to me.
"What's wrong?" He asked and I don't answer, instead just staring at the dull building. This is…this is… My eyes narrow and I throw a glare his way, feeling my eyes flash momentarily red, but I don't care. What the hell are they thinking? Do they think this will help at all? I feel something I hadn't felt in a long time. Fear. I return my gaze to the building, I haven't been here since I was a child…and I never wanted to return.
"Do you know where we are Naruto?" Ibiki asked me curiously, covering up his disturbance from my glare with a relaxed composure.
"Yes." I answer shortly. I don't want to talk about this…I don't want to be here. This is why I didn't like Sai, he's part of Them. The others think I'm some big idiot, and maybe I am, but at least I know the truth about him.
"Care to tell me where we are?" He asks cautiously. I almost snort. He's not very subtle is he? Trying to dig into my past. I gaze at him steadily. Tut, tut Ibiki-san, you'll have to do better than that.
"No, and I'd rather not be here now." I replied. "As a matter of fact, I shouldn't even be talking to you now."
"Naruto, you are a broken shinobi. You know as well as I that this is strictly protocol." He stated simply as we stared each other in the eyes. I saw it, that thing I hate most. Scowling slightly, I narrow my eyes. I will not be pitied. Why can't they understand that my death is necessary?
"You're…all the same." I murmur before looking away waiting for him so we could resume walking. He didn't say anything instead tightening his grip on my shoulder in warning as I clenched my fist, not like I'm able to do much. Shizune's jutsu still hasn't worn off, and the most I can do is clench my fingers. Hmph…whatever. You won't always be here. I look up at the approaching building. I will achieve my goal, and I will not let your pity get in my way. Suddenly the doors open and Ibiki gripped my shoulder even firmer. If I weren't so accustomed to pain I would've flinched. I narrow my eyes at the figure that walked outside the compound. A thin frame slowly walked through and I saw the small person freeze as they saw me. I work hard and I muster up my mask once more.
"Yo Sai!!!" I grin laughing. "Long time no see!" No point in having two uncomfortable people, so I'll let him remain on familiar ground…after all this is his territory. I watch as his eyes quickly calculate before he works up his own mask. He grins widely.
"Why, Naruto, what are you doing here?" He's trying to distract me…not going to work. I grin wider.
"Why do most Shinobi get sent here?" I asked back, ignoring Ibiki's grip on my shoulder. I look up at the sky. "It's so sunny. Goin' to meet Kakashi-sensei, eh? You know he's goin' to be late no matter what, probably goin' to be savin' a drowning fish or something today." I babble, completely disgusted with myself. Sai continues evaluating me. Slowly I let my mask drop as I gaze at him seriously.
"Besides, isn't it I who should ask why you are here? It's a bit strange for a genin to be casually walking out of ANBU quarters." His grin drops as he gazes at me.
"You hiate…you're not wearing it." He murmured, suspicion dancing in his eyes, otherwise his face was completely blank. "Why?" I scowled.
"Your part of ROOT. You tell me." I drawled, clenching my fist again only to have Ibiki once again grip my shoulder. Sai's observant gaze wandered over Ibiki before falling onto the white bandages on my clenched fist, understanding dawned in his eyes.
"Clever…I never thought you'd be the first one to figure out my position. But then again, I never thought I'd see you walk through these doors." Sai stated. Sure, he's the one who may have replaced Sasuke…but he's not him. He is not worthy of my confidence. No one is. I was born alone, I lived alone and I will die alone, nothing will change that. No one ever cared before, and I will not let myself fall for this façade that everyone is putting up. Nobody had any concerns for me before, they barely even noticed me before. They just don't want to chance to have the demon released in such a short space of time with the possibility of war occurring, they just think that if I die the Kyuubi will be released. That will not stop me. I will do what is best for this village, even if it is my own death.
Ibiki began walking me up the steps, Sai didn't move as we began walking past him. His hand snaked by and grabbed my arm above the bandages. I stopped and Ibiki tensed immediately. He gazed at the bandages before looking me straight in the eyes.
"Did Sasuke really mean so much to you that you had to do this?" He asks almost curiously, and I gaze at him blankly.
"Not everything revolves around Sasuke." I state simply. He still hasn't let go, and it unnerves me. Ibiki has released my shoulder and is just observing the situation stiffly, prepared to fight if need be.
"What about Sakura?" He asks inquiringly, grinning once again. "What shall I tell her, should she ask of your whereabouts?"
"I doubt she'll ask out of concern. She never has before, and neither has anyone else. I am nothing but a burden. A demon that needs to be put down." I say calmly, I'm not worried about what I said, because I know he already knew about the Kyuubi. His grin dropped immediately.
"…This is unexpected, you were always so happy." He pondered aloud. I mentally scoff. Is he still trying to keep his mask on?
"You are not the only one that wears a mask, Sai." I state bluntly. I begin walking towards the door with Ibiki behind me before I throw one last glance at him. "I've had my mask for years, you've only had yours for a few weeks. It needs more work, I figured out who you were in five minutes. Shikamaru and Shino may take up to a few more days. Just a word of advice if you desire your mission to remain uncompromised." With that I walk through the doors and I hear them lock behind me.
TEAM 7 TRAINGING GROUNDS
Sai met up with Sakura at the training grounds and grinned brightly.
"Hello Sakura." He said cheerily as he sat down in the grass underneath the tree.
"Hey Sai." She smiled and went back to looking at the clouds, watching the sun slowly fill the sky. "Gwah! He's late again!!!" She shrieked. "Why do we even bother to come on time, when sensei shows up almost 3 hours late all the time!?" Sai shrugged and laughed. While her back was turned he observed her closely. Doesn't she even notice that Naruto is not here either? If so, why doesn't she inquire about him? Isn't that what people do when they're concerned? He pondered, rethinking all the books he's read and the emotions he studied. He was broken out of his train of thought as Kakashi popped up.
"Yo!" He said waving with one hand while his other held his perverted orange book. Sai looked at him inquiringly from behind Sakura as she began ranting at him about being late. His eyes aren't moving over the page…either he has that book memorized, or something else is on his mind. Sai grinned before greeting his sensei.
"Hello Sensei." He said grinning widely.
"Hello Sai." He said as Sakura stopped yelling and started looking around.
"Sensei…didn't Naruto come with you?" She asked concerned. Sai watched curiously. She thought Naruto was with Kakashi-Sensie, hm? He pondered, and turned to Kakashi. Now what do you have to say? Maybe I don't have to inquire you later…
"Nope." Kakashi replied, his eye squinting in an upward curve. Sai sighed silently. Okay then, maybe not.
"Oh, well…then what are we going to do until he gets here?" She asked. "He hasn't been sleeping well, so maybe he's finally sleeping at home." She pondered aloud. Kakashi watched her over his book, and Sai observed both silently, grinning outwardly.
"I'll go over and check on him. Hopefully he didn't get himself sick with his lack of sleep." She murmured and turned.
"No." Kakashi said with a loud snap as he shut his book and put it in his pocket, causing Sakura to stop in mid step.
"What?" She said puzzled.
"I said 'No'." He said simply, his one eye focused on the two students.
"But sensei, it wouldn't be fair to keep on training without him." She said still turning to continue on towards Naruto's apartment.
"He's not there." Kakashi said simply, his arms crossed over his chest, and his stance relaxed.
"Nani? Then where is he?" Sakura demanded, green eyes flashing dangerously. 'Nothing would stop Naruto from coming to training…unless…' Her eyes widened. "What's wrong with him? Is he alright?"
"He's fine." Kakashi said simply. For now anyways…
"Then why isn't he here? He wouldn't miss training! Not unless something was severely wrong!" Sakura demanded. "So what's wrong with him?! Why isn't he here?!" Sai watched silently, his grin dropping.
"Yes sensei, please do tell us as to why our small-dicked companion isn't here." Sakura ignored his obscene comment for once and glared at their one-eyed sensei.
"You really want to know, hm?" He said, his voice aloof. 'Are they sure they want to know what happened to their companion?' "Well, to be honest, he won't be showing up for a while."
"What?" Sakura's eyes widened and Sai froze. So it's true…that fool really did it. Sai thought.
"He's not going to be on Team 7 for a while." Kakashi said vaguely, still wondering how badly the two were concerned for their teammate. 'Is Sakura prepared to lose another teammate so soon? Especially since Naruto has just come back.' He looked at Sakura's panicking face.
"Sensei…what's going on? What's wrong with Naruto?" Her voice was laced with panic.
"Last night Naruto was admitted to the hospital, in critical condition." Kakashi said seriously. Sakura froze and Sai gazed evenly at their sensei.
"N-nani?" Sakura murmured. "Then we have to see him! Is he okay? What happened to him?!"
"No Sakura. We cannot see him."
"To hell with that! We can see him, he's our teammate, if he's in trouble we have to make sure he's alright." Kakashi gave a small smile at her declaration, not that she could see it.
"Sakura…Naruto is not there anymore. He was dismissed early this morning."
"Then where is he?" Sakura asked. "Why isn't he here?"
"What happened to Naruto?" Sai asked softly, Sakura paused and looked at her dark-haired teammate.
"Iruka and I have grown concerned about Naruto's recent behavior and went to check on him last night. When we got to his apartment, he was severely wounded, and lost a dangerous amount of blood. So he was admitted into the hospital."
"But if he was injured that badly, he should still be in the hospital, he shouldn't have been dismissed this morning." Sakura said hopefully.
"I was there when he was taken this morning." Kakashi said evenly. "So I assure you, Naruto is no longer in the hospital."
" 'Taken', what do you mean 'taken'?" Sakura asked. "He'll be back soon right? Was it Jiraiya-san who took him?"
"No…" Kakashi said, taking a deep sigh. "Earlier this morning, Naruto was taken away to Shinobi isolation."
" 'Isolation'…?" Sakura murmured looking confused. "Sensei, what's-"
"Shinobi Isolation is when a ninja becomes mentally unstable, and inflicts injury upon themselves with the intent to die." Sai said flatly, cutting her off. "Normally that could be dealt with by taking them off missions for a while, and giving them therapy, but if the shinobi could compromise their team and village with their death, they will be taken to isolation, and trained in the body and mind." Sai looked directly at Sakura and Kakashi. "Basically, their being reprogrammed."
"Yes, that sounds about right." Kakashi said. Sakura's green eyes widened as she gazed at her teacher.
"But, sensei…that would mean Naruto…he tried to…" She cut herself off, unable to continue.
"Kill himself? Yes, that's what he tried to do." Kakashi said flatly.
"No sensei. Naruto would never…he wants to be Hokage. He would never do anything that could compromise his dream."
"Sakura, its true. Naruto did try to kill himself, Iruka and I barely found him in time last night." Kakashi stated. "I know that the truth hurts, but you asked and I answered…just like Naruto asked."
"But…he would never…"
"When a shinobi feels they are no longer useful to their village, if they feel they've let their comrades down, they no longer see a need to continue to live." Sai said calmly. "Naruto had quite the demanding dream, to be Hokage means that you have to be able to protect everyone in your village regardless of the situations."
"Sai-" Sai continued on, ignoring Sakura.
"When he failed to bring Sasuke back, he probably felt he was a failure, that's a lot of pressure for a genin, even of Naruto's personality. He was expected not to bring back a friend, he was demanded to bring back a teammate and comrade, a traitor and a genius heir to the Uchiha clan. When he failed to do that, the rest of the village was quite cruel about it. There wasn't a day that went by that he wasn't reminded of his failure."
"Sensei…is this true?" Sakura asked, her eyes begging. "Is the reason Naruto did this…is the reason he tried to hurt himself because of what happened?"
"Yes, but you must remember the kind of life he lived Sakura. He lived alone his whole life. Those who cared for him were too few and far between. When people like Iruka come around, he holds onto them for dear life. They are his source of balance. When team seven formed, he saw us as a family he never had. Sasuke was a brother to him, so when he failed to bring him back, he left a part of himself behind. Naruto feels he is not deserving of the life he has, when he failed those he cared for. So he has focused his mind on ending his life, to make up for failing his comrades and village."
"But I don't understand sensei…why didn't he tell anyone? Why did he continue smiling?"
"It's like Kakashi-sensei said." Sai said, a frown marring his face. "Naruto has lived his whole life alone, he hasn't had people to take care of him, like we have. He's always taken care of himself, and he lived with years of mental abuse before this. Surely even you have noticed that?"
"But, he's always smiling…" Sakura murmured. 'How can we not have noticed just how much he was hurting inside?'
"It was Naruto's mask. It was how he protected himself." Kakashi said solemnly. "No one was able to see through it, I doubt even the Third saw through it. He has the capabilities to become quite a skilled shinobi."
"…Naruto…will get better." Sakura said after a few minutes of silence. "Because…Naruto is strong." Sai just gave a grin and Kakashi looked at the two.
"So we better train, and make sure that dobe doesn't get a head start on us eh?" Sai said grinning. "We had better let him know, that we're going to get stronger as well, ne?"
"Good, then let's start tomorrow. I'll let you two think things over for today." With a wave he vanished.
At the Moutain
Kakashi gazed steadily over the village, his one eye observing the happy faces beneath him. Not one of the know the damaged they have done to a strong shinobi. They have no idea of how strong that boy could be. They should be honored that he wants to protect this village! Kakashi didn't move as he felt a presence behind him.
"So I assume you ran into him? You didn't seem to surprised when I told you two." Sai walked forward.
"Yes, I ran into him." Sai said shortly. His face blank of all expression.
"What's wrong, you sound troubled."
"He…knew who I was. Before anyone else…even you." Sai murmured, looking out over the edge of the mountain as Kakashi looked at him in surprise.
"Really? Hm…I wonder just how smart that kid really is. How much has he really hidden."
"He said he had his mask for years, so he noticed me almost instantly…that kid is quite observant." He said thoughtfully before turning to Kakashi. "I talked to Yamato-san before I came to the meeting." Sai said suddenly switching to his grin.
"And?" Kakashi grumbled.
"He didn't mention much, other then getting a new recruit." With that Sai began walking away. "Oh well, ja ne." With that he vanished with a cloud of smoke.
"Damn…so they're going to make Naruto ANBU huh? Maybe they did see his talent after all." Kakashi murmured softly. "I wonder how long it will be until we meet again, hmn?"
Little did the rest of the village know that it would be years before Naruto would be seen, and that when he will be seen, he will be completely different from what he once was.