Disclaimer: I own nothing. Mediator, yeah that belongs to Meg Cabot.

A/N: I'm gonna try and cut back on the cussing. But just for Suze. Julian's gonna keep cussing cause that's how he rolls.

In my last A/N I know I said in the next chapter Julian meets a certain one-eared friend of Suze's. Julian's secret is revealed. And Suze has a chat with an old friend.

Sorry about that, I meant chapters.

That doesn't all happen in this chapter.

Sorry.


Chapter 4

I spent the rest of the day in a sort of stupor. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. All I felt was Julian's lips on mine for that brief second.

Before I knew it I was in detention.

What is going on here? I thought. I barely met him. I know nothing about him.

Another little voice popped into my head. You barely knew Jesse, it said.

Ok, so that was true, but I was getting to know him. And he had to go and move on. I added sullenly.

And that was your fault, my new inner voice said.

My eyes filled with tears. I wanted to yell, "I know it's my fault."

I was taking a deep breath to calm myself when a piece of paper hit the side of my head and landed on my desk.

I opened the folded paper.

What's wrong with you? I recognized Julian's writing.

It is his sole purpose to get me in trouble. There we were, in detention, and he was passing notes to me. Well, throwing notes at me.

I wrote back. Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask? I tossed the note back to Julian.

I hoped Mrs. Elkins, the teacher in charge of watching over detention, wouldn't notice the piece of paper flying back and forth across the room.

Julian shook his head and wrote back. The paper landed in front of me. You looked like you were about to cry. What's wrong? Seriously.

I felt touched. He was watching me.

Nothing's wrong, seriously. I wrote back.

Suze, don't fucking lie to me. I can tell something's wrong. Tell me. He wrote.

Damn him.

There's nothing to tell. I'm fine.

Stop fucking lying. You've been acting weird since earlier, when I kissed you. Did my kissing skills dazzle you?

I almost laughed out loud when I read the note. I've had better. I wrote back.

Technically, I had only been kissed once before. I remember that night clearly.

Tad Beaumont had kissed me in his car, but I couldn't really care less about the kiss. What I remember is Jesse's reaction to catching me frenching some random guy in a car. Even though he said he wasn't, I knew Jesse was jealous.

The paper landed back in front of me. I smiled in anticipation of his answer. I knew Julian would not take that comment lightly.

Is that so? He wrote. Well I guess I'm gonna have to change that.

I rolled my eyes. I seriously doubt you can. I teased.

We'll see about that.

I shook my head and put the note in my pocket.

The rest of detention flew by quickly. I could hardly contain my excitement as I wondered whether or not Julian would really keep his threat or promise or whatever it was.

Truth was Julian's kiss, however brief and chaste it was, was a thousand times better than Tad's full fledged French.

Is it dumb for me to think that? Never mind don't answer that.

Anyway, I made my way out of detention with every intention of walking home. I knew Dopey wouldn't have waited for me.

I'd started walking toward the gate when I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist. My first instinct was to hit.

"Did you forget that I'm giving a ride home?" Julian's deep voice whispered close to my ear.

I fought to keep the smile off of my face and the keep the shiver from running through my body.

"Yes, I actually did forget." I said. I meant it too. After that kiss he gave me, I hardly managed to remember my name. Is that stupid?

Julian sighed in frustration. "Damn it Simon, you're going to make me lose my mind."

"Why do you say that?" I asked sweetly.

"First you tell me that you've had better kisses than mine. Now you're saying that you forgot me. If that's not enough to make me lose my mind than I don't know what is."

I chuckled lightly. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Diego."

Holy hell, I thought. Diego. His last name is Diego. There was no way he was related to those Diego's … was there? Was he?

"True. But this might." He whispered and pressed his lips to the soft spot of my skin, just below my ear.

"Mmm. Nope, still not getting you anywhere." I said. Yes, I lied. So sue me. I wasn't about to turn into mush with him still right here.

Julian sighed again. "Come on, let's go." He said.

He led me to his car. While he had his back was to me I let my idiotic, goofy grin come forth.

Oh, my god, I thought. His lips felt so good against my skin. I swear I could still feel his lips there. I wanted to ask him to do it again.

So, I'm not all that great when it comes to cars, but I knew enough to know that the black car Julian lead me to was a Mustang. (The Mustang logo on the front was a dead giveaway.)

It was a newer model and a convertible. Which lead me to the conclusion that Julian's parents weren't hard up for money.

Julian opened the passenger door for me. I put my hand to my heart in an 'Aww, I'm so touched' gesture. Which I was. All of his gentlemanly-ness reminded me so much of Jesse.

I blinked back the tears that filled my eyes, as Julian climbed into his car.

He turned on the car and put down the top. "Before I take off, give me directions." He said.

Once the directions were given he smiled. "You might wanna buckle up." He said with a sly smile.

I furrowed my eyebrows but complied.

As soon as the seat belt clicked into place Julian shifted gears and peeled out of the school parking lot.

We sped down the streets of Carmel. The rational part of my mind was screaming out in panic but my less rational side was oddly turned on.

I mean, you would be too if you were speeding down the street in an awesome car, sitting next to an extremely hot guy.

The only thing I was bummed about was the fact that his fast driving got us to my house a lot quicker.

Julian and I sat, on the hood of his car, outside my house.

"So which window is yours?" Julian asked.

"Well, that's a little forward." I said.

"You never know. I might need to sneak in … or out."

"That's pretty presumptuous of you."

"Damn, you're fucking sexy when you use big words.

Shit, I almost blushed. I raised my eyebrows at him. "Well, you're not the first guy to tell me that." Yes, I lied again. Big deal. He doesn't know I'm lying.

"You are fucking lying."

Oh crap.

"What makes you think that?" I challenged. "For all you know the guy who kisses better than you, told me the exact same thing."

Julian slipped off of the car and stood in front of me.

"Like I said earlier, I'm gonna have to change that." He said and pulled my face to his.

He took my bottom lip into his mouth and proceeded to suck on it. I didn't really know what to do but, acting on instinct, I took his top lip in between my teeth.

Julian ran his tongue over my lip so I did the same thing to him.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes. I was startled to see that his already dark eyes were impossibly darker. They were shining and dark with lust.

"Still think you've had better?" He asked

I smiled deviously. "Yes."

Julian narrowed his eyes at me and covered my lips with his. Using his own lips, Julian forced mine open.

His tongue slid against mine, pulling it into his mouth. Soon our tongues were battling for control.

Julian wrapped his arms around my waist and mine wound around his neck. I let my fingers twist into his dark hair that brushed down thick and a little curly at the nape of his neck. My fingernails teased the soft skin there before I fisted my hands into his hair.

Julian pulled away and we were both gasping for air.

"Still think you've had better?" He asked again.

I chuckled. "You're getting there."

Julian's eyes still glinted with lust, but now there was also mischief. I'm pretty sure he knew I was lying. His lips attacked mine anyway,

One of Julian's hands slipped down my waist and made it's way to my thigh. It traveled further still to my knee.

My hands, of their own volition, slid down his chest and kept going. They inched their way under his shirt. I ran my hands over his abs.

They weren't as deeply ridged as Jesse's but, damn, they were still well defined.

Son of a crap, I thought. I think this guy is perfect

Julian's hand slipped up a bit, pushing my skirt up. His hand rested on my bare thigh. He pressed his fingertips deeply into my flesh and dragged them back toward my knee.

Needless to say, that action caused me to moan deeply, and quite embarrassingly, into Julian's mouth.

I moved my hands around his back and sunk my fingernails into his skin. Julian groaned into my mouth.

I had never made a guy do that before.

Cue the mental happy dancing.

We pulled apart, our breathing ragged, Julian smirked. "Ok, I know you've never had better than that."

I smirked back at him. "Well, it was not the worst."

Julian growled, yeah he growled. "Now I know you're fucking lying."

I pecked his lips again. "Whatever makes you happy." I said. I hopped off of the car and smoothed out my skirt.

Julian stood there glaring at me.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to walk me to the door?" I asked.

He made no attempt to move. He just kept glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Guys can never take a joke." I muttered. "I was lying Julian. Okay?"

Julian blinked. "You were lying about what?" He asked.

"About the whole kissing thing. About how I've had better. I've only ever been kissed one other time."

To say that Julian looked surprised would be a serious understatement. "You've only ever been kissed one other time?" Julian repeated incredulously.

I felt myself blush. "Yes, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't rub it in." I said.

Julian walked up to me. "You're so fucking cute when you blush." He whispered into my neck. He wrapped an arm around my waist and lead me to my house.

I wasn't ready for him to leave just yet, so we opted to sit on the porch steps. Very close together. Julian kept stroking my face, my lips, and my neck,

"It didn't really seem like you didn't know what you were doing. When we were kissing, I mean." Julian said as he traced my lips.

I smirked at him. "I guess kissing you just comes natural to me."

Julian was about to say something when the big orange nightmare that is Spike came into view.

He walked right up to Julian and meowed. Demanding to be petted.

Julian looked at Spike confusedly.

You'd be confused to if a fat, orange ball of fur came up to you and started meowing at you.

"I think he wants you to pet him." I said.

When Julian scratched Spike behind his one ear the dumb cat started purring so loud.

It was my theory that Spike could sense Jesse.

Why the hell can everyone, but me, sense Jesse? I thought.

"Is this cat yours?" Julian asked.

"Yeah, his name is Spike by the way."

"You named your cat Spike?"

"No. He was given to me."

"That explains it. I'd never peg you as the type to own a one-eared cat."

"Yeah, well technically I don't own him. He comes and goes. He doesn't even like me, he only tolerates me because I feed him."

Julian smiled and kept petting Spike.

Lucky cat, I thought. Always getting hot guys to pet him.

"I'm surprised he's even letting you pet him. Spike doesn't really like people. He's only let one other person pet him." I said.

"Who would that be?" Julian asked.

"Jesse."

Julian halted in petting Spike.

Uh-oh, I thought. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up Jesse.

Julian cleared his throat and started petting Spike again. "So, will you explain your relationship with Jesse to me now?" His voice sounded weird, as if he was trying to keep it smooth.

I sighed. "You're seriously asking me about Jesse? Right now?"

"Yeah. Why are you so reluctant to talk about it?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because it hurts to talk about him!" I yelled. "He's been gone two months and it still hurts. I don't want to talk about how pathetic I was to fall in love with a g…"

OH. MY. GOD. I almost said ghost.

"A guy who only saw me as a friend." I finished.

Smooth, huh? Yeah, I rock under pressure.

"Jesse only saw you as a friend?" Julian asked.

"Yes." I think that's the truth too. I know he said he loved me but that could mean he loved me as a friend. He didn't exactly specify.

Julian reached up and brushed his thumb across my cheekbone. "That Jesse is one idiot." He whispered.

"Don't talk about him like that." I snapped.

Julian pulled his hand away from my face. He tried to keep an emotionless façade, and his face betrayed nothing. His eyes, however, did.

His dark eyes were filled with hurt. I had hurt him?

Of course I could only guess at exactly what I did to hurt Julian. Was it because of the way I talked about Jesse? The way I defended him?

"Julian, I'm …" I started.

His eyes changed in an instant. They now shone with determination. "I have to tell you something." Julian said.

My eyebrows pulled together. "What?"

"You know how you warned me that Kelly Prescott was going to ask me out?"

"Yeah. Did she?"

"Yeah."

"You said no, right?"

"No. I said yes." He said bluntly.

I moved away from him quickly. "You what?"

"I told her yes. I figured I should, you know to be polite."

I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Don't ask me why, because I honestly don't know. I tried to blink them back as best I could.

"Do you know what's polite, Julian?" I asked. I hated how my voice wavered. I didn't even give him time to answer. "Not making out with someone after you've already accepted a date from someone else."

I stood up and so did Julian.

"Do you know what else is polite? Not accepting a date from Kelly after you had already kissed me." I said.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I guess Julian saw it because his eyes widened.

"Suze, I'm k …" He started.

"Leave me alone Julian." I said and walked to my front door.

"Suze." Julian said, trying to get me to listen to him.

I turned back to look at Julian one more time. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me anymore, asshole."

"Suze." He said again.

I walked into my house and closed the door, not so gently.

I didn't want to push him away. It's because of Jesse, I told myself.

As I stormed to my room, I knew I was lying to myself.

I opened the door to my room. Two months of trying to get over Jesse were thrown out the window. Seeing the empty window seat made my tears spill out faster.

I walked over to the seat and sat down. I looked out the window and saw Julian sitting in his car, his head against the steering wheel.

I guess he felt me looking at him because he looked up and met my eyes.

I stood up and walked away. I heard his car start and the sound of the tires peeling out.

Damn, love sucks.

WHAT! I thought. Love? Great, that's just fantastic.

Could this get any worse?

Julian's POV

Don't ask me why I did that, because seriously, I have no fucking clue.

The way Suze was talking about Jesse …it kinda pissed me off. Even though she was upset her eyes were still shining with love. She still loves him. She still fucking loves him. And he's not even around anymore.

I wanted her to feel some of the hurt she made me feel.

Yeah, she fucking hurt me. And I only just met her.

I know I upset her, I saw it in her eyes.

I made her cry. Suze was right, I am an asshole. I wasn't trying to make her cry. I didn't even expect her to cry. I mean I only just met her, I shouldn't be this attached or attracted to her.

God, this is so fucked up.

I only wanted to hurt her a little. So I lied to her.

I don't have a date with Kelly.

As soon as I realized how much I actually hurt her I was going to tell her the truth. I swear I was, but she wouldn't let me talk.

Why am I so drawn to her? I felt some sort of strange connection to her when I met her in the priest's office. Something about her green eyes seemed so familiar.

I don't know how, but I am going to make things right with Suze. Her hold on me is to strong to just walk away from her.

I'm determined to find out the reason for my attraction to her.

A/N:The end of this chapter is a little something I decided to throw in.

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse in to Julian's mind. If you did, I promise to write more from his POV.

But you gotta leave reviews people.

I was going to hold back on Julian's POV until later, but I needed to explain why he did what he did. I couldn't let you think he was a jackass.

Although he kinda is for hurting Suze, but whatever.