My picture appeared on the screen. My cheeks were flushed, and I wore a shy smile. My hair fell slightly out of my bun on the top of my head. I looked like an overgrown toddler to be perfectly honest. I was adorable, but no where on the same level as the other ladies. The excitement I felt when my was called disappeared almost immediately, replaced by embarrassment that my face was being compared to so many others.

I felt my mothers eyes on me, I could feel her happiness.

"Silver!" She shrieked. "Explain yourself! Do I have to remind you of the temper tantrum you threw over not entering this contest. Why on earth would you lie?"

"I never thought I'd get picked," I whispered. "I didn't want anyone to know if I didn't get picked."

My heart was racing, I was having a hard time processing what happened with everyone freaking out around me. I was excited, and nervous, and ashamed. I was everything but I felt nothing.

I stood up and walked to my room leaving the mini celebration my family was having, mumbling that I needed some time alone.

Everything would change from now on. I was no longer just Silver Lily Anderson. I was one of the selected. Countless opportunities on my future just opened up for me. As I laid down for bed I thought of all the people I would meet, and all of things I could do and accomplished being at the palace. It wasn't until I was almost asleep that I realized I hadn't thought of the Prince once. The concept of falling in love or being the Queen didn't cross my mind at all. I was overcome with guilt, but it wasn't enough to make me back out of the competition. I could do what I want to do, play the part of a girl looking for love, and eventually be sent home. After all the Prince can only pick one girl and that would never be me. I'd just have to figure out a way to keep him slightly interested in me long enough to make a difference in my life.

I could do this.

I woke up early the next morning, my chest was tight and I couldn't breathe. I was having a full blown panic attack. Thoughts were racing around in my head, I couldn't stop myself from crying as every ounce of my being felt the regret of what I had done. This wasn't me, everything this competition entitled wasn't me. I'd never worn a dress or makeup in my entire life. I've been a maid for the same family since I was 16 and they still didn't know my name. I was a nobody. I was not a lady. I should not have been selected, how the hell am I one of them now.

I sat against my door and cried. My knees shook incredibly fast, hitting each other. I couldn't get a grip on myself.

I heard a knock on my door and ignored it. They continued to knock and when I didn't answer I saw my mother peek her head in. She looked down at me leaning against the door, freaking out.

"Oh no," she whispered, squeezing in. "Silly, are you having one of your episodes."

I calmed down slightly hearing her call me that name, and nodded. She sat beside me and hugged me. I'd spent the last few months taking care of everyone and forgot that she was the mother and once took care of me. My anxiety has always been a problem and as a kid she'd always calm me down from each attack. It wasn't until I was older and embarrassed that I stopped going to her. I forgot she knew about them at all.

Several minutes passed, and I finally calmed down enough for her to start interrogating.

"Now tell me what's wrong?" She said quietly, rubbing my back.

"I think this was all a mistake. I entered this for the wrong reasons, and I'm in over my head I know it. I've been so stressed here and everything has been so hard. I figured if I could get away for a little, you'd get the selection money and I could figure out a way to make our life better. Did you see those girls? I don't stand a chance against any of them, he's going to send me home right away. It's a waste of time and I'm going to made a fool of myself. And what if someone realizes I have no desire to get to know the Prince? Being there for anything but him is an act of treason, you read the rules. I'm a traitor to this family, this country. Dad would be so disappointed in me."

I felt slightly better letting out all my worries that I didn't realize were there. Once I said them I realized they were the root to my anxiety attack this morning.

"Sweetie," Mother started. "I'm not going to say much on this because you're vicious and about to leave for who knows how long and I don't want to have ill feelings with you. Whatever the reason you're there for, be yourself. The Prince would never send you home just by looking at you. You're adorable, one look at you and people feel trusted and safe. No one will know you're not looking to fall in love if you don't tell anyone. Do whatever they tell you to do, talk to the girls, relax. Everything will be fine. Enjoy this vacation, you work so hard you deserve it. We will be fine here, you have done an amazing job taking care of us. And I promise you, when you come back home things will be much better. I pressed pause on life because it didn't feel right continuing without your father, but life doesn't stop. I will be a better mother from now on."

Her words left me speechless and made me feel remarkably better. I felt elated the rest of the day as royal officials came by and gave us the run down. I can bring one bag of personal items, and I'll leave for the castle the day after tomorrow. I had to go down to the clinic the next day for a check up and a test to prove I was still a virgin. Normally I would have been thoroughly pissed off about it all because who the hell cares if I've had sex or not, but I hadn't been able to afford to go the doctors ever and I was actually relieved to know everything about my body was fine. I made a mental note to mention how absurd it was to demand women stay virgins until marriage while men could do whatever. Until I had some kind of standing, I'd have to keep my thoughts to myself.

Overall, the contest started off amazingly. I felt incredibly happy. It was so nice to do something other than work and take care of everyone. People I didn't even know measured me, asked me about my food preference. I had so many people taking care of me and I felt good.

I laid to bed early the night before I had to leave, and fell asleep quickly. This was going to be great.