Hi, everybody! I know I haven't updated in forever but I worked really hard on this new chapter! ( I even reread the manga to get it right…)

This time Tohru narrates in the first person for most of it (I think, if everyone likes it, I'll do that next chapter too!)

The gender difference is really starting to show here -_- Tohru, you player! XD Causing all kinds of hijinks for the Sohma girls already! _

LOL please don't forget to review! Without further audieu, here's chapter 4.

Merry Christmas,

Storychan

Honda Tohru here. I'm kind of panicking right now,

"Sh-she turned into a cat!" I cried, still holding Kyoko, - no, a cat that used to be Kyoko – What the HELL?! – in my arms.

Was I dreaming?

No, I could feel the pain of cat teeth on my fingers, so that wasn't an option.

Was I drunk?

Oh, wait. I don't drink.

Had I lost my mind?

Always a possibility. But Yukiko and Shigune had seen it happen, too. So either the three of us were having a shared hallucination, or….

This was actually happening.

But…how?!

"Wh-wh-what did I do?!" I cried. "Did me touching her somehow make her turn into a cat?"

"Kind of," sighed Shigune, like this was perfectly normal.

"How do I put her back? " I screamed, panicking. I don't turn girls into pets every day, you know? Or ever. This is…not supposed to happen. Right?! "What do I do? What's going on? I have to fix this! Who do I call? A doctor? A vet? I GOTTA TAKE HER TO THE HOSPIT-"

My panic attack was then interrupted when a brick fell on my head. Why were bricks falling?

Oh, right.

Kyoko/Cat had just come through the freaking ceiling.

I didn't have time to process that, either, because the brick had knocked me off my feet. Dazed, it occurred to me that I should start hitting the gym so that I didn't fall quite so easily. Klutzy girls can be cute, but a guy who can't stop himself from tipping over is just pathetic.

Something broke my fall. Something warm. And squishy. And jiggly.

With a wave of pleasure and then of ashamed horror, I realized it was the breasts of Yukiko and Shigune, both of whom began shrieking.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!" I cried, leaping backwards immediately. "I – I would never do that on purpose, I SWEAR to God!"

No matter how cute they were, I was a gentleman, just like my father had taught me to be!

Blushing, I looked back at them to see if they believed me, and if they were going to kick me out for my accidental bout of perversion. I hoped they wouldn't hate me. They had gone out of their way to help me, after all.

What if now they thought I was a pervert? The thought sickened me. Could this get any worse?

But when I looked back, Yukiko and Shigune were gone. In their place were a cute little silver mouse, and a black poodle with a shining coat.

It had just gotten worse.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A pizza delivery girl placidly approached the Sohma house. She was here a lot – the girls who lived there apparently sucked at cooking. Which made her chuckle. Bad-cook bachelors were one thing. Women whose cooking was so terrible they ordered pizzas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Was uncommon enough to be hilarious.

What wasn't hilarious was the male scream she heard from the 2nd floor.

A cute brown-haired guy she'd never seen before opened the door, a cat with a black and white bow on it's head under one arm, a poodle and a rat under the other. "THEY'RE ALL ANIMALS!" the guy screamed.

"Oh, the girls who live here have pets?" she blinked. "Cool."

Is this guy not a pet person, or something? She wondered to herself, rolling her eyes. I wonder who he is…..Wait. Is that a girl's bathrobe he's wearing? I…

I'm not even going to ask. Maybe he's one of Shigune-san's hookups? I heard she's a total whore.

"Umm, that'll be sixteen hundred ye-" She was interrupted when the poodle handed her a wad of cash. She counted it up – it was the right amount!

"Smart dog," she grinned, and walked away.

Not spending ANY more time in that nuthouse than I have to…she thought as she walked away. Maybe that weird guy back there will stick around and cook for them, and I won't have to come back here anymore…..

She hoped so.

"Let go of me, you pervert!" I heard Kyoko's voice say, and realized it was coming from the cat I was holding. Blushing, I released her.

Wait, did a cat just talk to me?

I set down the rat and the poodle next.

Then the rat started talking, too.

Of course it did.

Because apparently my life is now an acid trip.

"H-Honda-san wasn't trying to be a pervert! H-he apologized!" I swore I saw the rat blush. It was then I realized it was speaking in the voice of Yukiko.

"R-right, Honda-san?"

I blinked.

"Ohh…..R-right!"

THANK GOD SHE BELIEVES ME.

But now she wouldn't look at me again. I couldn't blame her.

"Mmm, Honda-san, I didn't mind…." Said the poodle….Shigune?!

"Shut up, you whore Dog," the cat hissed. "Now this boy knows our secret!"

"Well, then," the poodle/Shigune sighed. "We might as well tell him the whole story." She padded up to me, and explained, "I'm the Dog, Yukiko is the Rat, and Sohma Kyoko here is the Cat. We're possessed by their vengeful spirits. And there are 10 others in the Sohma Clan who are also possessed."

My eyes widened. Possessed?!

Undeterred, Shigune continued, "Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, and Boar. Yes…just like the Chinese Zodiac. For hundreds of years, the Sohma Clan has been possessed by twelve vengeful spirits that correspond to the zodiac. We don't have any special powers, or anything. Well, we can communicate with our respective animals…but when our bodies are weak, and, for some reason, when we're hugged by someone of the opposite gender, we transform. After some time, we change back into humans…."

Suddenly puffs of white smoke filled the room, and through them I saw….."OH MY GOD I'M SORRY NOT AGAIN!"

"…..but then we're completely naked."

I immediately covered my eyes and turned away. A gentleman shouldn't peek! I bet Yukiko was blushing (so was I!), and Kyoko probably thought I did this on purpose somehow….

I didn't turn around until a manicured hand tapped me on the shoulder.

"I-is it safe?" I asked.

"Yes, Honda-kun," giggled Shigune, who I looked and saw was in a fresh kimono. "Such a good boy," she teased. "Hiding your face like that. I half expected you to look…"

"I- I would never!"

I seriously wouldn't. It's wrong. No matter how beautiful the Sohmas were, I couldn't take advantage of the…highly unusual situation I'd found myself in.

I mean, seriously…..curses and pretty shapeshifter girls? It didn't sound real.

"Doing ok?" Shigune asked.

I blinked at her, and noticed for the first time that Yukiko was behind her in a grey dress, blushing and not meeting my gaze.

"I-I'm so sorry about earlier!" I told her, blushing myself. "I didn't see anything, I swear….Please don't hate me, Yukiko-san…."

"I-I don't hate you," Yukiko muttered, looking up at me finally. "It's the curse's fault, not yours."

Still, it was big of her not to get mad. I found myself blushing, too.

"In that case," I said, turning back to Shigune, "Yeah, I'm ok….I guess….."

So, I thought. These girls are possessed by the spirits of the zodiac. This is a terrible secret I've learned. I can tell Yukiko-san didn't want anybody to find out. I'd heard rumors about her avoiding guys. This explains why.

"By the way, Tohru-kun," Shigune smiled at me. "You said you liked the Cat. What do you think now that you've met her in person?"

My gaze then fell on Kyoko, who was back in the clothes I'd seen her in earlier. So…she was the Cat!

"Kyoko-chan's such a ditz," Shigune giggled. "I mean, she's a total tomboy, so much that she's taking martial arts, yet she still let one guy – and not even an intidimating one, no offense- just walk up and grab her? Pfft. So much for the training she's always telling us about. Don't feel too bad, Honda-kun. She should've known better."

I wasn't too sure. Shigune's rationale felt too much like victim blaming to me. I mean, Kyoko was just a girl, right?

Another giggle. "She's like a schoolgirl with a crush…The only thing she notices is Yukiko-chan!"

"S-SHUT UP!" Kyoko cried, jumping up. I noticed her face was flushed. "Don't say it like that! W-why the hell was a creepy strange guy in the house to grab me in the first place?!"

Now she was making ME sound bad. Oh, man….I'd barely met this girl, and already she thought I was a creep and a perv!

"Be nice," Yukiko told her. "You were the one who burst through the ceiling, ok? It's not all Honda-kun's fault." Was that a blush on her face? "B-besides, he was just trying to protect me."

At least Yukiko trusted my intentions.

"Anyway," Yukiko continued, getting that ice queen look on her face again, "whether there's a boy in the house shouldn't concern you. You're an outcast, remember?"

"SHUT UP!" cried Kyoko again, and suddenly she was moving so fast toward Yukiko in a way I didn't think a girl even could. Before I even knew what was happening, a table – how did such a small girl move a table with such force? – was flying at me.

I'd clearly underestimated Kyoko. Shigune's shock that she wasn't able to stop me from grabbing her made more sense now.

"Tohru-kun!" cried Shigune, her eyes full of motherly concern, "you're bleeding!"

I raised a hand to my forehead and it came away bloody, confirming that she was right.

I hadn't even noticed.

"He's a guy who's twice my size, and he just stood there and let a girl hit him?" sniffed Kyoko. "Pathetic."

Suddenly, Yukiko slapped Kyoko!

"How dare you!" Yukiko cried. "Just because he's a guy, doesn't mean it's ok to hurt him! He's not trained like us! Don't call him pathetic!"

It felt weird having a girl defend me. Man, Kyoko was kind of right. I've never been able to defend myself like a real man.

In my self-loathing, I almost didn't catch what Yukiko said next. "Just for that, even if you're a ditz, it's on, Kyoko! Bring it!"
'You bring it, twinkle-toes!" growled Kyoko, and suddenly she was aiming to scratch Yukiko's eyes out!

Yukiko blocked her!

"Sohma-chan!" I called to Kyoko, horrified (unlike some guys?) that I'd just started a catfight.

"Don't worry," Shigune told me, again surprisingly blasé. "It's not your fault. Those two fight every time they lay eyes on each other."

She laid a damp cloth on my forehead. "Let's focus on stopping this bleeding," she smiled, and began wiping some of the blood away. My eyes were still fixed on the other two girls – especially my new defender, Yukiko.

I remembered the cold ice queen look she'd gotten when I'd mentioned cats on our earlier walk to school. I'd been wrong….this ran much deeper than 'just a dog person' (come to think of it, she didn't get along that well with her poodle cousin either).

"So, still a Cat fan?" Shigune chuckled as she placed a Band-Aid on my head gingerly. I was still more worried about the catfight going down all around us.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" I asked.

"Nah," Shigune giggled. "It's almost over already. Yukiko-chan….always wins."

I looked back over and saw Kyoko grab a fistful of Yukiko's long, silver hair.

Yukiko wrenched free of her grasp and, with a cruel smirk I didn't expect to see on her face, leaned closer to Kyoko and backhanded her, knocking her off her feet and right out the window!

"I thought I said," Yukiko grinned, "to bring it."

"Oh my gosh is Sohma-chan OK?" I cried.

Shigune seemed to think so, as she just told Yukiko, "Don't destroy my house, please!"

"I'm sorry, Shigune," Yukiko replied. "I didn't think she'd fly that far! Her guard is terrible." Then, she approached me. "Honda-san, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," I said. I'm more concerned about the girl you tossed out a window!

I would never have guessed that a tiny little girl like Yukiko was that strong.

She was stronger than I was.

"She'll be fine," Yukiko assured me, seemingly reading my mind.

Sohma-san never pulled a stunt like this in P.E., I thought. She must not want people at school to know that she can…

"OH MY GOSH SCHOOL!"

I was going to be late!

"But, Honda-san," Yukiko reminded me. "All your uniforms are muddy…"

"I'm a guy," I grinned. "A little dirt doesn't bother me."

OK, lie. I'm a neat freak. It does. But what else was I supposed to do?

"It's more than a little dirt, Honda-san!"

"I'll tell people I fell down, uh, motorbiking or something!"

Normal guys motorbike, right? Not that I did.

"Nobody will believe that," Shigune sighed.

Was it really that obvious that I wasn't the biker type?

….Who do I think I'm kidding?

It totally was.

But…

"I'm sorry, I really do have to get going," I told Shigune with a polite bow.

"That's fine," Shigune smiled. "I need to visit Akiko-san, the matriarch of our clan, and tell her what's happened here. That our family secret has gotten out."

"Matriarch of the clan?" I blinked. "Sounds like a very important woman. I understand."

Once Tohru left, Yukiko's expression got even more chilly. She glared at Shigune.

"You plan on having Honda-san's memories suppressed, don't you?" She felt like crying. "Like last time?"

Shigune shook her head. "That's not my plan. Last time, there were too many people, and we had to, ok?"

"I have to get to school, too," was all Yukiko said in reply. Then, she turned to Kyoko. "You're the one who broke the roof, so don't go telling Honda-san he has to fix it all by himself just because he's the man of the house. You can help, ok, ditzy Cat?"

"It'll be ok, Kyoko-chan," smiled Shigune. "Housesit for me while we're both out, ok? And apologize to Tohru-kun later- Yukiko-chan's right. This isn't all his fault."

Tohru here again.

I'm glad I was able to use the school's washing machine. And I'm also glad my friends are total idiots.

"So, man, your uniform's a total wreck….where were you motorbiking when you fell?" Uoji asked.

He totally swallowed my story! Before I could think of a lie to support it, one of the guys from the Yukiko Fan Club came up to me. "Honda went motorbiking?" he sneered. "Ha! Yeah, right. He's too much of a pussy."

Hanaji made him shut up with one glare. He's a tough guy. Or maybe it's just that everyone around thinks he's a wizard. Either way, I was grateful.

If that guy picked a fight, I would've been screwed. It's kind of embarrassing, but I've always needed somebody to defend me, like Hanaji.

Or, today, Yukiko.

"Yukiko-hime is late today, too," Uoji noticed. "No wonder those guys are pissed."

NOBODY can find out I'm LIVING with Yukiko-hime!

"I-I'm going to go change," I decided.

"Need me to come with you in case those fanclub guys try to jump you or something?" Hanaji asked.

"Thanks, man," I said. "But I'm fine."

It felt bad lying to my bros, but what was I supposed to do?

Let the fan club kill me when the truth got out?

When I was done changing into my now-clean uniform, I found Yukiko waiting outside for me.

"Honda-san!" she called, and dashed over to me.

"You,…you didn't tell, did you?" she whispered. "About us?"

The poor girl looked pretty scared. Like she was going to cry.

"No!" I told her. "Gosh, I'm sorry, I made you nervous, didn't I? I..I'd never tell anyone, ok? My dad always told me snitching's wrong! If he caught a snitch, he'd, like, cut them! Or take their fingers, or-"

Aaaaand now I'd scared Yukiko even more. I could tell she was wondering what kind of guy my dad was.

But then I saw tears start to spill from her eyes. "Y-y-you're trying so hard to protect me and my secret," she sobbed. "B-but it might not be enough, I'm sorry! They…they might have to take your memories away."

My memories?

"I say take," Yukiko explained. "But it's more like hypnotic suppression."

Drying her eyes, she continued, "A long time ago, our secret got out, like today. I was in second grade. We…" She'd started sniffling again. Poor sweetheart. "We were playing in the garden at the main house and some boy got carried away and hugged me. So many people saw that we wound up having to suppress the memories of everybody there."

A bitter memory bloomed in Yukiko's mind.

Akiko.

Akiko, am I ugly? Am I so ugly as a rat that we have to make people forget seeing me?

Yes, you're ugly. Aren't rats such ugly animals? If normal people knew your secret they wouldn't think you were pretty anymore. They'd stay away from you.

Nobody would ever love you.

"Sohma-san…" I began. Yukiko's tears were breaking my heart.

"I cannot defy Akiko's wishes," Yukiko explained sadly, pausing to dry her eyes again. "What she decides is what is going to happen. So…I'm sorry. Y-you never should have had to deal with stupid Sohma Clan drama. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that!"

She turned away, but I couldn't let her just leave like that, not when she was so visibly upset. So, not thinking, I reached out for her….

And found myself with a rat in my hands. "Gosh I'm sorry!" I cried, releasing her. "I'm so stupid. I didn't mean to do that, I swear…."

"It's ok," said Rat!Yukiko. "A-as long as nobody saw me. But…thank you for worrying about me."

"If it makes you feel better," I told her, having never seen a rat cry before and not wanting to now, "I'm…ok. I mean, I'm the one that messed up and discovered your family's secret. You had to tell the matriarch of your clan what I did. That's not your fault. Please do whatever you have to, ok? Don't feel bad on my account."

This girl had defended me to her cousin, and even forgiven me for two accidentally perverted mishaps, AND offered to let me stay rent-free at her house. If anything, I should be the one apologizing and feeling bad.

She had been so kind to me. Girls shouldn't have to protect guys….but she did. Girls shouldn't forgive guys for being pervs…but she did. Girls shouldn't let random homeless guys they meet in the woods live with them….but she did.

I didn't want to forget all she'd done for me.

But I'd grin and bear it if that was what I had to do to make her tears stop.

I owed her that much.

"C-can you do me one more favor, though?" I asked. "If you have to erase my memories….will you still be my friend?"

Before she could answer, a puff of white smoke appeared, and I knew by now to immediately cover my eyes.

"It didn't take that long to change back this time," I heard Yukiko say, and opened my eyes to see her uniform was back on, but….

"Sohma-chan, your ribbon's still untied." I reached to tie it for her, surprised. "Let me fix it for you. It's my turn to do something for you."

If normal people knew your secret, they wouldn't think you were pretty anymore.

"Honda-san…." Yukiko asked timidly. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"No, you don't look sick!"

He thought I asked if I look sickly, Yukiko realized with a sigh.

"Hey, Sohma-chan….is it ok if I walk home with you?"

"Y-yes!"

Will you still be my friend?

When we got back, Shigune didn't seem to be home yet, so I went to go throw my stuff in my room.

I was surprised to find that a girl was patching up my roof.

And even more surprised that said girl was Kyoko.

"This morning," Kyoko started to say. "I'm sor-"

"AND LET'S NOT FORGET DITZ-KYOKO-CHAN-WHO-LOST-ANOTHER-CATFIGHT!" came Shigune's loud voice from downstairs, and Kyoko looked away from me again. "YUKIKO-CHAN, TOHRU-KUN, I'M HOME!"

"Forget it," Kyoko growled, and sashayed out of the room.

"What? Wait…" I sighed.

"Good news," Shigune grinned when I got downstairs. "As long as he keeps the secret, Tohru-kun can stay!"

I couldn't hide my relief. "I won't be punished?"

"What?" Shigune blinked. "No! Just don't tell, ok?"

"O-of course not!"

I wouldn't lose my memories!

"One more thing," Shigune grinned mischieviously. "She wants Kyoko-chan to stay here, too."

"What?" Kyko cried. "I don't want to live with that bitch Yukiko!"

"Don't blame me," Shigune pouted. "Akiko-san's word is law."

"DAMMIT, AKIKO!" Kyoko seethed.

"I knew it," Yukiko sighed. "But," she whispered to Shigune, "to involve Tohru….you and Akiko….aren't scheming anything, right?"

A bitter memory of Shgune's own.

I'll trust this Tohru-san…This may even prove fortuitous for Yukiko and Kyoko..and even for me.

Yukiko does have good instincts, but still…proceed with caution.

"Noooo," pouted Shigune exaggeratedly. "You should be more trusting of people, Yukiko-chan!"

"Excuse me," interrupted Tohru. "I just wanted to thank you again…for taking care of me."

Yukiko blushed.

"You too, Kyoko-san," Tohru added with a bow.

"Why should I do anything for anyone in this-"

The fingers of the Rat laced through the Cat's hair, pushing her through another window..

"…house."

And that was how I, - Tohru Honda,here! -came to be cared for by the Sohma girls.