Title: Once You Go Black...
Written by: jolieXD
Summary: Sohma Yuki has been dealing with Sohma Hatsuharu's split personalities for most of their lives. He knows how to tame a Black Haru and he knows how to make a Black Haru. But it's no secret that Hatsuharu has feelings for the Rat. Could a couple wrong words create a Black Haru that even he can't control?

Disclaimer: I don't want to say it, because everyone knows I don't own Fruits Basket. d;
Warnings: Slash—boy&boy—but nothing explicit, I promise, because I don't want to have to have a high rating on this story—like, at all. They annoy me. So, there will just be a hint here and there. Yep—for those who don't like the graphic content. However, for those who do... ;D Look closely, lovelies, and you may see—or not. It depends on if I feel like writing it. Soooorry.
Rating: T, for themes of homosexuality, as mentioned above, and—possibly—vile language.

Author's Notes #1: Piano lessons are a terror!
Author's Notes #2: Sorry, A/N #1 was just something I had to get off my chest. XD Here is the real, real A/N #1, under the pseudo name of A/N #2:

Ah-ha! I am back. Surprise-surprise, right? I hope so, because—again—I had no idea this would be here this early. Feel fortunate, my faithful readers, this doesn't often happen!

XOXOXO
jolieXD

Once You Go Black...
Begin—Four: A constant reminder.

The Rat finally decided that there was something wrong with him. There had to be something wrong when he had to remind himself that what Haru felt for him was only a crush—and who cared if it happened to be a crush that began half a decade ago? It was a crush. And he was convinced that it would end soon. It had to, because Sohma Yuki was finding that the situation was beginning to get uncomfortable in ways he couldn't, and didn't want to, explain.

Beside him, Sohma Haru walked with him. He'd offered to take his white-and-black-haired cousin home once he cleaned up at Shigure's house after an hour or so of gardening—on his part, at least; Hatsuharu had offered only to watch with a strangely pleasant look on his face. It had unnerved Yuki a little. But he'd felt obligated to offer, as the boy walked all the way through town, so that the Ox didn't get lost on the way back to Sohma Estate and end up missing for a week and a half.

But, naturally, Yuki was irritated, as he walked, to find his gaze wandering from between the other Sohma and the mangled, purple flower in his hands.

He again reminded himself of the silly infatuation Hatsuharu carried for him, and how much he disliked the thought of it, and he also reminded himself of the persuasive Black personality living in his cousin's mind, and that he could probably blame the infatuation on that other personality, and then he also reminded himself of the flower in his hand, and that Black Haru would never do something like that.

And then he had to remind himself—again, for the fifteenth time in ten minutes—that it was just a damn crush. And, to that, he reminded himself that there was nothing to get attached to. Nothing.

He reminded himself of the humiliation he'd put himself through almost a week ago, when Shigure interrogated Honda-san at the table during supper in front of Mii-san, the older man's editor, and that he would never allow that again because he would never have to remind himself—or anyone else—what a silly little thing Haru had for him. He reminded himself of the speechlessness he'd experienced for actually doubting himself. He reminded himself of Shigure's "wise" words, the words that threw him into that speechless state—

"He's in denial."

—and promptly banished that reminder to the outermost reaches of his thoughts.

And when it came down to that, he reminded himself to banish the annoyance he felt right along with the words that triggered it and save it, perhaps, for the next time that Cat challenged him.

Sohma Yuki sighed, his thoughts dizzying, and turned the flower in his fingers idly. He peeked at Haru from behind his fringe. And he was mortified to see that the Ox was looking right back at him, unabashed, with that infuriatingly thoughtful expression playing across his features.

His cheeks felt hot when he spoke, "What?", and tried not to sound irritated—though, whether the irritation arose from his own embarrassment at being caught or whether it arose from the way Hatsuharu openly stared, he would never say under his own free will.

"Nothing." Haru smiled gently, but he didn't look away.

Yuki felt his irritation rise a notch in his mind and clamped down on it long enough to force a smile back at his cousin, exiled it to the back of his mind with the reminder-gone-wrong, and reminded himself why he was walking the Ox home.

Yuki all but shoved the Ox out the door, sliding it closed behind him with such force that the dark-haired boy was surprised he hadn't thrown it right off its frame. He could hear Shigure's awful cackle still from inside the house.

He'd regretted it instantly when he placed that damned flower down on the kitchen counter long enough to wash and dry his dirt-covered hands with Sohma Shigure in the room. Yuki usually knew better than that. But when the older Sohma queried him on who and/or where he'd gotten the flower—from a "secret lover", perhaps?—from, Yuki had been forced to acknowledge and deal with the way his face lit up like some wacky Christmas light, unable to stop it.

So he'd been chased out of his own house by his own cousin's laughter. Yuki could only thank the heavens that, right now, the Cat was off picking Honda-san up from her work in town. But he still had to acknowledge and deal with the wondering look that Haru cast upon him as he took the Ox by the arm and very-nearly dragged him from the house and down the path.

Only when Yuki realized that Haru was still silent—only when he realized that his hand was still clamped around the other boy's wrist so tightly that the Rat was surprised that his cousin hadn't complained yet, did he pull away from Hatsuharu was if the black-and-white-haired boy were burning.

He pointedly ignored the other Sohma's surprised glance, but when Haru didn't exactly object—he only stared for a moment, brows creased, before he grunted and stuffed his hands in his pockets—and when Yuki was sure that he wouldn't blush, the Rat raised his eyes and they continued.

Both were silent until they reached the Sohma Estate. But, when Yuki stopped in front of the gate, waiting for the other boy to enter and Hatsuharu didn't, he knew there was something on the Ox's mind.

Yuki resisted the urge to cross his arms because he didn't want to look impatient. Patience was best with Haru; Yuki knew it from years of experience—some good, some bad, most neutral—like this. So, the Rat just sighed and turned to lean against the brick wall of Sohma Estate, looking at the Ox with questioning eyes.

Haru smiled gratefully. Yes, Yuki thought, he did know Sohma Hatsuharu best, after all, even if it wasn't fully by choice. The smile faded quickly, however.

The Ox didn't speak. He remained silent, his hands still in his pockets and his eyes boring holes into the cement below them. He shifted from one foot to his other, lifted a hand to scratch behind his left ear, something Yuki had noticed more and more from him lately, and opened his mouth as if to speak.

But he didn't, as if he forgot—though Yuki knew he didn't—what he'd wanted to say, and let it fall closed, his hands returned to his pockets almost as if they were a comfort zone for him. And his eyes shifted to the side, and his feet shuffled beneath him, and Yuki realized he'd never seen his cousin this way.

"Haru, what is it..?"

Hatsuharu barely shook his head, but it didn't quell Yuki's nerves. The Rat took a step away from the wall, his right hand tentatively outstretched towards his cousin, even though he knew he would most likely regret the decision later. He knew he could have just walked away and left Haru there at the gate of the Sohma Estate, as there was practically no way Haru could get lost from there, but his cousin was... was like this, and for some reason, Yuki couldn't leave.

To the Rat's surprise—though he should have known it would be like this—Haru moved forward to meet his touch.

The Ox's eyes lifted finally to meet his when his hesitant fingers brushed against Hatsuharu's cheek, and Yuki looked on in bewilderment when his cousin's right hand lifted to lay gently across his wrist, and when the other splayed across the back of his hand, and Hatsuharu leaned into the palm of his hand as if it had been just what Haru was looking for. Yuki frowned slightly, a little disappointed he'd fallen into Haru's clutches, just the way the Ox had wanted him to.

There was something indescribably painful in Haru's gray eyes that made the Rat's brow crease with confusion. Yuki didn't try to pull away, for the pain in cousin's eyes, for fear of triggering something dangerous in Hatsuharu's mind, for the sake of his curiosity, and for something he didn't dare acknowledge—that he might like it this way—because of the absurdity of the thought.

"Haru, I—what are you—?"

"Why don't you like to touch me, Yuki?" His words were soft and gentle, but they cut, and Yuki lost his train of thought throughout them. He observed Hatsuharu carefully for signs of Black Haru, but he saw none and that only further baffled him. What was he..?

"What are you talking about?"

Sohma Hatsuharu closed his eyes against Yuki's words. He didn't look impatient, as if he thought Yuki should know what he was talking about without the Ox even having to attempt explaining; he looked as if he thought he'd known Yuki would say that—and that bothered the Rat.

"Touching each other is what people who love each other do." He spoke as if it was the simpliest sentence on the face of the planet. Yuki could almost dislike him for it.

"Well—yes, they do, but—"

"Then, you should touch me more, Yuki-kun, because that's what people do."

The Rat tried not to glare. If Haru would just let him finish his sentence, then he would know that—

"I like it when you do." Haru said, and, again, Yuki lost his train of thought.

And, then, he reminded himself that this was that desperate infatuation, that stupid crush talking, and that he shouldn't listen to it. And, then, some silly rebel-of-a-thought reminded him that he didn't mind listening to it—and Yuki barely resisted scoffing aloud and cast that thought even further than he did his earlier annoyances.

Damn reminders. Yuki reminded himself to never remind himself again. And then banished that thought along with the rest. It didn't matter.

What mattered was that Haru had opened his eyes and his gaze was intently fixed on Yuki again. What mattered was keeping that damn blush away from his cheeks. What mattered was that someone was coming around the corner. What mattered was that whoever it was would see him there, touching the boy with the silly infatuation for him, with the boy that his constant reminder told him to keep away.

Yuki wrenched his hand away from Hatsuharu, who could only blink for a moment before lowering his hands as well, and linked them behind his back, taking a large step away to lean against the wall again. His eyes were on the ground, but they were too late to miss the light—a light of something Yuki might have called hope—flicker out in the black-and-white-haired boy's gray eyes as he, too, averted his eyes to the ground, turning away from his cousin slightly.

"Oh, Yuki-kun, Hatsuharu-san, is that you?"

End—Four: A constant reminder.

for my own purpose, really, but if anyone's interested:
Date Chapter Was Started: August 25th, 2006
Date Chapter Was Finished: August 28th, 2006
Date Chapter Was Posted: August 28th, 2006

Ending Notes: Again, this chapter was where Tohru-chan's POV's chapter was supposed to go. But, alas, Yuki-kun couldn't wait any longer. Tohru-chan will be the next one. She might not agree, but the job has been forced on her. Unless I do Kyou-kun's. Hmmm...

Yuki-kun was troublesome here. Not only was this a tad bit shorter-looking chapter (though it's actually 100 or so words longer) than the others—which I also think are too short—but I'm not sure I meant for this chapter to come out this way. At all. It was totally off the charts; it's ruined all my planning. And, even though it was hard to write, I like it. I don't know why. It probably even sets back the story even farther from ending—or maybe it brings it closer... I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet. But I will, hopefully. I think I know what to do from where—I think. Maybe.

Anyway, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks to: KooriKitsune, Pocky-Pocky-chan, and Dilandau-is-My-Boyfriend (ch.2) for reviewing. :)

XOXOXO
jolieXD