I still do not own Hetalia or star wars, but I do own a Darth Maul light saber
Tan H-shaped federation carriers carrying the AAT's, MTT's, and STAP's finally hovered to a stop and landed in a clearing in the swamp forest just a little ways from the capital of Theed. The battle droid commander for this mission with a yellow stripe running vertically along its head named Omm-009 watched from the top hatch of his AAT as the carries doors opened and MTT's and AAT's neatly filed out of the carrier in a single file line like a colony of robotic ants. In front of him, at the open hatch a hologram of Nute and Rune flickered on.
"Yes viceroy." He replied in a more authoritative robotic tone than the other droids being the commander. Behind him his MTT's and AAT's mowed down the trees as if they were tooth picks.
"Captain, we have searched the ship and there is no trace of the four escaped Jedi hostages or the two who were disguised as ambassadors. They may have escaped on one of your landing craft." Said Rune alerting the ground forces to search for the Jedi.
"If they are down here sir, we will find and crush them."
"Proceed with caution. These Jedi are more powerful than we previously thought." Gunray warned before the hologram flickered off. Omm-009 turned back to his troops to oversee how their march on Theed was progressing, when he saw something that was not in the proper invasion programming. One of the AAT's was deviating from the others and taking its own path through the foliage, breaking off from its single file line.
"Navigational error; return back to the battle now soldier." He commanded to the wandering AAT via the com-link in his head. In response the driver of the AAT responded back by his own com-link in the console of the AAT
"Sorry robot dude, but I have heroing to do." Came an unusually loud-cheery voice, and not the expectant robotic one of a battle droid.
"Heroing? Heroing does not compute." Omm-009 replied to the AAT, but all he got in response was laughing before the driver shut off communications.
A brown rectangular speeder emerged from the carrier. Usually this would have no importance, but this one was carrying one of their "Jedi" hostages as a security precaution. The battle droid driving wouldn't really mind this job if the person in question wasn't so annoying. Italy sat in the back of the speeder with his arms bound to his sides by ropes. In his head he went over the stages of kidnapping he had already gone through. He already passed the stage of absolute terror (the longest stage), the stage of begging for mercy, and now his present one of waiting for Germany, Japan, ECT to rescue him. To help calm himself further he started asking questions to the battle droid driver.
"Do you have any ravioli?"
"No roger, roger."
"What about linguini?"
"No roger, roger."
"And my names not Roger it's Italy!" He cried in slight annoyance.
"Right, Italy. Roger, roger."
"No. Not Italy Roger, just Italy."
"Right, just Italy. Roger, roger."
"Do you have any pasta?"
"Pasta? Pasta does not compute."
"WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO PASTA! EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE PASTA! WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THERE WITHOUT ANY PASTA! NO WONDER YOU ROBOTS ARE SO MEAN!" Italy yelled in outrage of the Trade Federation having no pasta shaking violently in his seat. The battle droid pilot hearing this was having a sensory overload from the sheer volume of Italy's professional scream, and as such didn't notice that he was driving straight for a tree.
The pilot at the last minuet swerved out of the way of the tree, but drove in to the dense swamp underbrush flipping the speeder over. The passengers went flying out with Italy having his ropes miraculously cut by an overhanging branch, and landing in a relatively soft patch of dirt. The droid was not so lucky, and went flying straight into a tree exploding into sparks.
He then decided to go explore the swamp to see if any of the others had made gone in there and to escape the scary pasta less battle droids. He pulled back some brush tearing through some thickets before emerging (read: stumbling) out of the brush into a clearer part of the swamp forest. He smiled at the beautiful scenery around him, and not being around the battle droids, but this smile was sort lived. The distraction of the scenery made him oblivious to the creature he was walking straight for and right into. He bumped straight into this creature making it turn around and face him.
After looking at each other face to face both parties screamed in fear and jumped into opposite bushes, the creature because he was startled and Italy because it looked like some amphibious duck-billed monster to him. After a short period of time and Italy and the creature both popped their heads out of their respective bushes, and the creature spoke to him in a gurgly voice.
"Who are yousa? Mesa Jar Jar Binks."
Qui-Gon ran through the swamp trying to avoid being trampled by the large flightless and featherless Kaduu birds that were startled by the MTT's which were also trying to crush him. The Qui-Gon had lost Germany, Russia, and Obi-Wan when a group of battle droids looking for the escaped Jedi had found them sneaking off the MTT leading to his current state in the swamp.
He barrel rolled to his right letting the MTT lumber past him. No sooner did he breathe a sigh of relief at his relative safety, he heard screaming coming from the path he was just on. Running from another MTT was a young man with auburn hair that some weird hair curl coming off the left side and an amphibious Gungan. Sighing he ran out from his cover, lunged and tackled the two out of the way of the MTT which went on it's way not caring about the two it almost crushed.
"Yousa save us!" Happily shouted the Gungan.
"Oh thank you! Thank you so much mysterious hippie man!" Cried the man hugging Qui-Gon's legs.
"Yes, do try to be more careful next time." Qui-Gon said before walking off to find the other three.
"Where's my manners? Mesa Jar Jar Binks and this is my new pala Italy." Jar Jar said introducing themselves.
"It's very nice to meet both of you, but we really should go our separate ways." Qui-Gon had no time to deal with two extra passengers, he already had three and some more he had to find and rescue, and he also found the two slightly irritating.
"No, mesa owe a life debt to you for saving me from the mekanicks."
"That won't be necessary." Qui-Gon said nonchalantly still trying to get rid of the two.
"But I must. Demanded by the guds it is."
"I appreciate it very much but you mustn't-." Before he could finish the hum of a droid STAP distracted him followed by it bursting out of the brush and firing on the group.
"Oh, no!" Screamed Jar Jar who ducked down in fear followed by Italy who did the same while waving a white flag and screaming "Please don't hurt us we surrender."
The battle droid on the STAP open fired on the group again firing three more shots only this time Qui-Gon ignited his light saber and deflected the first two harmlessly into trees while deflecting the third right back at the droid pilot. The STAP exploded into flames from its own blaster fire sending little pieces of Droid everywhere.
Italy and Jar Jar both stood up astounded at the sight thy just saw.
"Yousa save us again"
"Are you brainless you nearly got us killed?"
"We spake."
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here."
"Oh please don't leave us here mister. You can't let the scary robots take us they have no pasta! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?" Begged Italy for Qui-Gon to stay and protect them.
"Master! I'm so glad we found yo- Who are they?" Obi-Wan came out of the brush with Germany and Russia. He was happy to see his master but seeing two more potential group members irritated him more than he was already.
"Obi-Wan, Germany, Russia. Met our new friend Italy and Jar Jar Binks."
At hearing Germany's name Italy instantly perked up and ran over to his dear friend who he was looking for.
"GERMANY I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU! THESE SCARY ROBOTS CAPTURED ME AND TIED ME UP, AND WORST OF ALL THEY DIDN'T HAVE PASTA!"
"Umm It's okay Italy. We have two Jedi here to help us get out of here and get the others back." Germany said trying to calm down the panicked nation.
"There's more of them?" Asked an irritated Obi-Wan.
"Yes we really should get going to this Theed comrades to get this queen to help us before the viceroy and his droids get to her first." Russia said.
"Yousas want to get to Theed? Yousas should go to Otoh Gunga they can help you get to da queen, OH!" Jar Jar quickly covered his own hands with his mouth regretting what he said.
"You know how to take us to the queen?" Asked Qui-Gon.
"Please take us to this Otoh Gunga city of yours comrade Jar Jar." Russia said.
"No, no. It was a muy muy bad idea. Wesa shouldn't go." Jar Jar there was a little bit of panic in Jar Jar's voice like he didn't want to go any where near the city at all. Qui-Gon then got an idea of how to persuade Jar Jar to take them to this Otoh Gunga.
"Do you hear that?" Jar Jar put his hand to right ear hole under his head fin to hear what Qui-Gon was talking about. He heard very faint mechanical thudding and thundering sounds in the distant.
"That is the sound of a thousand horrible things marching this way."
"They will swoop down cut us up, and BLAST us in oblivion" Obi-wan added catching on to what his master was doing.
"Mesa change my mind. Mesa take you there!" Jar Jar then very quickly but clumsily led them through some more brush of the swamp until they ended up at the shore of a lake.
AN: Now Italy and Jar Jar probably the most funny but annoying characters in the history of fiction have met each other in one place…oh God what have I done. Any way your star wars triva that promised you in the last chapter relates to Jar Jar. We all know Jar Jar was banished from Otoh Gunga but what was the reason for his banishment?
Well apparently Boss Nass was holding a party at his mansion and Jar Jar was one of the cooks. Somehow the gasse oven he was using exploded cracking the protective wall barrier keeping the water outside of the city. This off course flooded Boss Nass's mansion, and while this was probably bad enough and angered him greatly, Jar Jar tried saving Boss Nass's (expensive) heyblibbler speeder but ended up crashing it instead. You can put the rest together.