Author's Note: Okay, all I'm going to say about this chapter is, I'm sorry. I had to make this, or else this idea will not let me sleep at night. So, um, yeah, enjoy and stuff.
Ch. 4
"When we last met our heroes, they were on their way to the castle in the north, with a handsome watermelon named Bashur as their guide. Who knows what perils will await them on their-"
"Okay, Bash, can you just cut it out?" Ryan snapped, taking Bashur's microphone.
"Aw, what's the matter? Everyone loves a good announcer voice." Tyler laughed.
"Nothing, his voice just drives me nuts. It's giving me a headache." Ryan shook his head and turned to Tyler. "Are we even getting close yet?"
"We should close be by now...hey...do you hear that?" Tyler said, glancing around.
A voice was heard muttering close by. You thought you could escape me… They looked around, but the only thing they saw was a pig. It had a bandana tied around its head, and it glared at them.
"Is that pig...talking?" Ryan said, confused. "He must be kidding."
Ninja pig does not kid. Look out for me…I'm everywhere…
"Ninja...pig?"
Ninja pig is not passive! Ninja pig takes no prisoners...
"Um...let's just go…" Ryan motioned for them to come and they started to walk around the pig.
Oink… Oink… Oink… The pig began to follow them, slowly at first, but then gaining speed. Soon, the group was running as the ninja pig relentlessly chased them through the forest.
We need to lose this pig somehow...c'mon Ryan, think! He looked around for any place they could escape. Oh hey, is that a mansion? Perfect! "Follow me guys!" He ran down to a run-down building in the woods and pushed one of the heavy oak doors open. "Go go go!" Once they were in, he pushed it shut. Outside, he could hear the pig's grunts and oinks on the other side, but could not find a way in. It eventually gave up.
Ryan suddenly blushed. Did we really just run from a stinkin' pig? "So...we never speak of this again?"
"Agreed." Tyler nodded. "Well, let's not stay here much longer. This place gives me the creeps." He went to open the door, but it would not open. "What? Guys, gimme a hand here!" They all pulled with all of their strength, but the doors would not budge. Even the windows seemed to be unbreakable. "Alright, this is getting freaky. What is going on here?" Tyler muttered, getting nervous. The dusty cobwebs and dim lighting gave an ominous feel to the place.
"There has to be another way out. C'mon, let's go." The sound of their footsteps echoed down the hallways, disrupting the slumber of various creatures like mice and spiders. "Whoever lived here must have been stacked." Ryan said, noting all of the expensive paintings and suits of armor bordering the hallways.
"Look at the size of this place! I bet my 16 million children could fit in here." Bashur said. The others looked at him in confusion. "What?"
A figure suddenly turned the corner. He was pale young man with worn clothes and shaggy blonde hair that fell into his blue eyes. He was extremely startled upon seeing the group, and gave a girly yelp and jumped behind a dead plant.
"Uh...who are you?" Ryan asked him.
"Touché. How'd you get in here?"
"We were...uh...that's not important. We're just trying to get out of here. Would you know how?"
"Well, hate to disappoint, but there is no way out of here. Once you enter this mansion, you're stuck."
"What? There's no way! There has to be an escape somewhere!" Tyler exclaimed.
The man shook his head. "I've looked everywhere, but I have yet to find it. I've been trapped here for over eight months. Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't properly introduced myself." He brushed himself off and stepped out. "My name is Felix. Well, since you all are going to be here for a while, would you like to meet some of my friends?"
More people? Maybe one of them knows where the northern castle is. "Sure. Lead the way." The group followed Felix down some twisting corridors, and ended at a small bedroom. But Ryan didn't see any people, only a bed, closet, and a desk.
"Hey guys! I'm back. Look who I brought!" Felix greeted.
Who is he talking to? Ryan wondered.
Felix dragged a chair out in front of them. "Everyone, this is Mr. Chair. He's a little shy around new people." He then picked up a small rock that was sitting on a desk. "Oh, and here's Jennifer. I love you Pewdie! I love you too Jennifer, but I have a girlfriend!" Setting the rock down on the chair, he pointed to the corpse of a pig that was laying in the corner. "Say hello Piggeh. I'm so pumped! Yeah I know you are Piggeh, just calm down you freakin' psychopath." Finally he grabbed a small golden statue. "And here's my good friend Stephano. Ellos, Pewdie. You are an idiot. Hey, that's not nice to say around guests. Now, who did you guys say you were again?"
Ryan was speechless. Alright, this guy's lost it. "We're, uh, just some travelers passing through. Now if you would excuse us, we'll just be going."
"I wouldn't if I were you. It's getting late, and monsters come out at night." Felix warned, holding Stephano. "It is true. And I know everything."
"I'm sure we'll be fine. See you." Ryan left the room, the others following.
As they walked across the darkening halls, Tyler sighed. "You know, Felix wasn't that bad of a guy. He seemed pretty nice."
"Dude, he was talking to a dead pig. I think he needs to get another cat scan." Ryan frowned. "Now let's just try and get out of this place." A low growl echoed through the hall. They froze.
"Please tell me that was Dave." Tyler said, turning to Steven's zombie friend. But Dave only stood there playing his Gameboy. A louder growl came, this time accompanied by slow, heavy footsteps. "What-"
Ryan shushed him, then spotted the creature at the end of the hallway. It was human in form, though it was bald and covered in stitches and loose ropes. It's eyes loosely bulged, and it's jaw was unattached on one side so that it hung freely open. It's left hand was not even a hand, but a large claw. And as it looked around, its eyes rested on the petrified group.
"Run!" Ryan exclaimed, turning around. With the speed of an ocelot, they sprinted down the hall, but found it was a dead end. With the creature getting steadily closer, they looked for any possible escape, but there was none.
Seeing no other option, Ryan pulled out his stone sword, his arm shaking. Will I be able to hold him off? No, there's no way. At least I'll go down fighting.
A whistle came from behind the creature, who was none other than Felix, holding Stephano in one hand and a lantern in the other. .
"Hide! I'll distract him!" He waved his lantern around and hollered, "Hey Bro! Over here!" The Bro growled and began stumbling after Felix. "Uh oh... Run Pewdie! He's coming! I know Stephano! Let's go!" Felix took off, taking the light with him. Once the Bro had left the hallway, they split up, running to various rooms.
Ryan went into the first room, and slammed the door shut. "Whew..." He sighed. Blinking in the darkness, he ducked behind some barrels. Looks like this is a wine cellar. Hopefully the others found a place to hide.
"That's was close, huh?"
"Aaaah!" Ryan yelped, jumping. Bashur's head was poked out of an empty barrel. "Bash, don't do that!"
"Shhh! You'll give us away!" Ryan rolled his eyes and crouched down, listening. In the quiet, he could faintly hear fast footsteps. Their door swung open and closed, revealing a breathless Felix leaning against the wall.
"Oh, hey guys. Gosh dang, I hate these barrels. Anyway, I think I pretty well lost that Bro." He set down his lantern and sat down next to them. "Where'd those other guys go?"
"Must've gotten separated while running. They should be fine though." Ryan said. Looking at him now, Ryan thought Felix seemed very familiar in some way. Where have I seen him before? "Say, you wouldn't happen to be a Youtuber, would you?"
"Why yes. In fact, before I ended up here, I was pretty popular. Online, I was known as Pewdiepie." Felix said, putting emphasis on the first syllable.
"No way…" Ryan gasped, his eyes widening. "How did I not recognize you before? Dude, you're a legend! When you stopped posting videos, people got really worried about you. I'm a Youtuber as well; could you give me some advice, how to get famous like you did?"
"Haha, well, all I can say, is that you should be true to yourself, no matter how many followers you get. Because either behind or away from that computer screen, you're still the same person, and no amount of fame can change that."
"Gee, thanks Pewdie, I mean, Felix." Ryan stammered, starstruck. "It really means a lot. Hey, wait, I think I just got an idea on how to escape here!"
"Seriously? Well c'mon bro, say it!"
"Okay, Steven's friend Burt is an enderman, right? Maybe he can teleport us out!"
"That's brilliant!" Felix exclaimed. "Let's go find him and get out of here!" They jumped up and went to the door, but froze when they heard slow footsteps.
It's that Bro again! They backed away from the door, and Felix leaned towards them and whispered, "We'll have to cause a distraction to get him to leave. Any ideas?"
Ryan pondered what to do, and suddenly got something. "Bashur."
"Yup?" He said, who was drinking from one of the barrels.
"We need you to get out there and be a distraction."
"Distraction?"
"Yes...make a lot of noise and get that Bro out there to follow you. Got it?"
"Yes sir Batman sir!" Bashur saluted, and threw open the door. "Heeeeeeeey Brooooooooo! Look at meeeee! Bet you can't catch me!" The trick worked; the Bro began to chase after Bashur. "That's right Bro! Run run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the watermelon man! Woo-hoo!"
Felix and Ryan watched the Bro leave, then went about searching for Tyler and Steven. They checked every room, but they were nowhere to be seen. One of the knight's armor began to squeak. Felix jumped in surprise. "I knew I couldn't trust those things!"
"Uh...Tyler?" Ryan asked, looking up. The knight's head creaked open, and Tyler's head popped out.
"Oh, hey guys." Steven, Burt, and Dave then looked out of theirs. "Don't ask okay; it was Steven's idea." Once they were out of the armor, Ryan explained his idea. "Yeah, I'm sure Burt could do that, right Steven?" Steven exchanged looks with Burt, and the two nodded. "Great! But where's Bashur?" Ryan looked down, trying to look innocent. A yelp came from the other end of the hall, and Bashur turned the corner, frantically running with the Bro in pursuit. "Ryan, what did you do?"
"Okay guys, get ready to teleport. Get close everyone." Felix instructed.
Bashur tripped, hitting the wood floor with a thump. Seeing the opportunity, the Bro grabbed him and bit him on the back of his head, all the while Bashur screaming, "Aiiiiieeeeee!"
Bash! No! Ryan ran forward with his sword and cut at the Bro's leg, causing him to drop Bashur. The Bro was not used to getting attacked back, and ran away, frightened. "Bash, are you okay?"
"Oooooooo…" Bashur put his hands on his head and winced. Ryan helped him up and brought him to the group, where Felix was counting down. "3...2...1...Now Burt!" The enderman sent out purple sparkles around them, and the group vanished.
Moments later, they found themselves outside of the mansion. Felix breathed in the fresh air, savoring the smell of the grass and the twinkling of the stars above them. I…can't believe I'm free…
Tyler, Ryan, and Steven gathered around Bashur, who was dizzy and gradually stood up. "Whoa...what happened?" He felt the back of his head and jumped. "Ah! My brain's gone! Oh wait, I never had one! Haha!"
Tyler laughed and took off his miner's helmet. "Here, you can wear this."
"Thanks bud!" Bashur cleared his throat and began impersonating him. "My name is Zipadeedoodah, and I eat coal for breakfast!"
Tyler caught Ryan smiling, and nudged him. "See, I knew you cared about Bash."
Ryan looked away. "His laugh is still annoying. Besides, we still need a guide to get us to the castle."
"Sure, whatever you say." Tyler said, punching him playfully.
After they had had their fun, the group then said goodbye to Felix.
"What are you going to do now?" Tyler asked him.
"Well, I think I'll head back home. I'm sure my girlfriend Marzia misses me." Felix held out his hand and fistbumped all of them, and they parted to go their separate ways. When Ryan looked back, he thought he could see the outline of golden man with a sword next to Felix, but shook his head. That mansion must be messing with my head. I need to get some sleep. Yeah, that's it.
...hehehe...Yeah, I know, you guys will be saying, "What the heck? What's with Pewdiepie? He doesn't play Minecraft!" Well excuse me, go look at Pewdie's first ever Youtube video. Minecraft. At least, that's my excuse for adding him. Eh, well, I regret nothing. Any of you guys in the Bro Army?