The world gets a bit fuzzy at the edges. Bane knocks me down with such force that I hit the ground and get a concussion. This I know from working with my father in the Titans East med bay.
The enemy looks at me and Mar'i beside me, and then turns away. He knows we can't fight him anymore. And then I realize the full complications of what he's leaving me with as I experience them myself.
I'm numbing slowly. At first, it's as if I've just gotten colder, because it's soft and silent. It soon escalates, however, into a thick shiver. I blink up at the sky, looking at the trees above my head.
The sky is the same sparkling blue, almost black, that I went into this mission under. I spot the stars, like tiny pieces of jagged, broken glass. I move on, seeing the leaves in all their spiked, maple-tree glory, framing the midnight heavens in all of their glory. Those leaves grip twigs that become sticks and then branches, and in a dull, brown way, they turn into trees.
I'm not left looking up at the sky for long. Something moves, and I realize I've been neglecting my wounds. I've lost more feeling. Not just in my feet, or my legs, or my hands and arms, but my whole body. That terrifies me.
The movements turn out to be Mar'i pulling herself up. She crawls over to me, which I see out of my peripheral vision. She looks down at me and I blink, still somewhat focused on the leaves dancing in the wind. I feel a little less.
The edges of my sight drip with something a little like liquid. I realize I'm crying, both out loud and with tears. The tears are impairing my sight.
It's too late by the time I realize I've been screaming and I can't hear it. I cry out, gasp, shriek, and no sound reaches my ears. At first I wonder if I'm not actually making noise, but then it occurs to me that I would hear other things-the rustling forest noises or. . . Mar'i's voice. I can't hear Mar'i's voice!
I panic and try to move. I've lost so much feeling I can't feel my feet to stand, or my hands to push myself up. I could compare it to them being asleep. The panic shoots through me a little faster, and I become entranced.
I remember Daddy telling me once about concussions, which I have, among other things. "If ya ever get one," he told me, "You'll start feeling like ya are going to fall asleep. But ya can't, because you'll go comatose. If you're with someone, they'll probably help ya keep awake, so just focus on them. They'll know what to do."
As soon as I recall this, I force myself to lock my gaze on my friend. I was taught to read lips, so even in my deaf state, I know what she's doing.
"Stay with me, Char. Please." I note she's got tears on her face, her eye makeup dripping off her left cheek. Her right is close behind. She presses one hand to her ear, where her com link is set. We were only supposed to use that in an emergency, and of course, a concussion is nothing to worry about. She shouldn't use it.
She turns her head so all I can catch is "We were attacked. You gotta get-"
Feeling starts to leave my face and I realize the tears are thicker. The panic is fading, along with more of my sight. My torso is also getting numb. Mar'i finishes her plea and presses a hand to my chest, where my armor meets. She pulls with Tamaranian strength and rips the metal away, tossing it aside.
I don't feel it. Instead, I feel more panic while I blink and try to shiver. She presses her hands down again and I have to fight to stay conscious. I see her lips move again and I barely catch-but I do catch-what she is saying.
"Oh, Charlotte," she's sobbing. "I can't lose you, not after we're all home again. I don't want to lose another friend."
It occurs to me that the twins have just come home, and I wonder what she means about losing me. And then it hits me like a hurricane. I'm dying.
She lifts her hands, and I see the blood. My blood, as rich as if she'd just dipped her hands in the ocean and they'd come out wet.
I think about my dying. Everyone back at the tower will change, probably forever. My friends will shift but probably get used to it. They got used to Prem and Destiny being gone, and they expected me to.
The heroes will mourn me as if I were one of their own. I will have died on a mission, and that is what matters to them. My dying for what they believe in is what makes me a part of the kids' team. The team…
We decided on a name before I headed out here. Austin and Des weren't mad then, and they'd cooperated in figuring it out. We're the NeXtGen, the next generation of heroes. But I don't want to die without having fought for that team, so I have to fight for my life now.