For the first time, Naruto woke up gently in Gaara's arms. Not screaming like so many nights before. Half asleep, he smiled at Gaara's sleeping face and nuzzled further into the warmth of naked Gaara-chest. He felt arms tighten around his waist and mumbled something completely unintelligible, even to him.

"Naruto" a whispered voice

"Mmm?" Naruto looked up groggily and felt lips descend on his own. He moaned into them, still incoherent.

"Naruto, ready to start home today?"

"Nnn." Naruto groaned in response, latched his hands around Gaara's shoulders, and rolled to lie on top of him. "Pillow."

It was Gaara's laughter which finally woke Naruto. He had never before seen Gaara laugh with such joyful abandon. He was always controlled in some way, but not here. He was full-out eyes-closed-head-back laughing. Gaara's moment of joy was broken when he felt a tear fall onto his chest and looked up to see Naruto crying. His smile immediately became an expression of worry.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I just suddenly started crying."

"But you're alright?"

"I guess so but…I mean…crying out of nowhere…that's a little odd right? So maybe I'm not alright?"

"Naruto, there's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while now."

"What?"

"Did you love Sasuke?"

"I did." Naruto paused before he continued. He knew this discussion would be hard on him, and that it might even end in Gaara abandoning him, though he wished with all his heart that would not be the end that came. "He broke my heart when he left, yes. When you helped me put it back together…he took his piece with him, it wasn't there anymore. There wasn't room in my heart for him anymore, only for you. But I'm damaged Gaara, could you still love me?"

"Always Naruto, but you understand my curiosity?"

Naruto nodded

"What did you do with him?"

"He used to hold me, when nobody else was around. He let me cry on his shoulder sometimes, when a villager had been extra mean and I needed to. Kissed me every so often, nothing more, but oh how I dreamed. I don't dream of him anymore. The only touch I long for now is yours Gaara, only yours."

"You got over him that quickly?"

"No, it took me a long time. It was so hard without you Gaara, he'd haunt me in my dreams when you weren't there to hold me. Ero-sennin never found out, he's a heavy sleeper, but he did notice when I was distracted a lot. I found that, when I thought of you Gaara, it was easier. It was hard, but I pulled through it."

"And this time?"

"I had still valued his opinion; I had though he hadn't changed much more than Sakura and I, but he has changed so much…my Sasuke exists only in my memories. The betrayal this time was no more or less painful than that of a close friend."

"A close friend?"

"He was the first person my age to accept me. He was my first friend, by first love, but Gaara…a first love doesn't always mean a forever love."

"You're mine, my first love."

"I'm…glad." Gaara moved to speak again, but Naruto stopped him before he could. "Gaara, please. Sasuke is in my past now. I don't love him, I love you. I don't want to talk about him anymore Gaara, please." Naruto's expression was pleading, imploring, and pained.

"You said his name."

"For you Gaara, so you will believe me, so you will not abandon me, so you will know that I-" Naruto's voice cracked and he laid his head on Gaara's shoulder, almost leaking tears through his poorly formed dam, though he tried so hard to keep it sturdy. "that I love you."

When Gaara placed a hand on his back, Naruto could hold back no longer. He sobbed into the warm shoulder of the man he now loved.

"I told you before," Gaara whispered "I will never abandon you. Never."

By the time Temari came for them, Naruto had fallen asleep, and Gaara looked sad and pained. "He doesn't trust me Tem, he doesn't trust me not to abandon him. He thinks the moment he does is when I will."

"You two are both fighting your way up the river, you're stuck in up-hill battles. It will be hard for a time."

"I know, but that doesn't make it less painful." Gaara stood, holding Naruto with one hand while he strapped on his gourd, and walked out the door behind his sister.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

"You're not going to wake him?"

"…no, he needs to rest for now. I will wake him when I need to."

"…right."