Faith restored
Alex scrambles for the alarm clock as it's painfully annoying static pierces the new day. "Ughhhhhhh…..I just….fell….asleep". Groggy and sluggish, Alex forces her way to the bathroom and into the shower. Completely consumed, she is on auto pilot as she dresses, grabs her attache case and pours herself into her black mercedes. God…I feel like I'm going to the chair, this is awful. Unsure of herself, which is rare, Alex is at a loss for words. She has no idea what she will say to Donnelly or what the Bureau Chief has in store for her. Just before she pulls into the parking garage of the State Attorney's Building, she calls the one person she knows will give her strength just by listening…….'You've reached Detective Olivia Benson…I'm either on the phone or assisting someone, so please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible….Thank You…' "Shit! Liv…where are you when I need you?!" Frustrated and a little disappointed, Alex parks her car and sits in silence for a moment. Eventually she exits, straightens her skirt and buttons her jacket. She runs her fingers through her silken hair and exhales what feels like her last breath. What's done is done and finding what little peace she can in the situation, Alex digs deep. She knows in her heart the decision she made wasn't one of selfishness like everyone thinks. She truly wanted to help the Cavanaugh's and convict the predator that stole the innocence not just from Sam, but from all the other young and unsuspecting victims. Hopefully she can still do that, and pounds her way through the parking lot.
Olivia waits impatiently by the elevators and can hear the signature 'clickitty clack' of Alex's heels making their way closer to her. Lately, even more than usual, just the mere thought of the breath takingly beautiful ADA causes Liv's heartbeat to accelerate. She can hear the pulsing in her ears, loud like drums, and gasps a little when she sees Alex approaching. No one has ever rattled Olivia's cage like this and she's not quite sure what to make of the emotions that have been flooding her system around the clock. Seeing Olivia rest a shoulder so confidently against the elevator doors with her hands in her pockets makes Alex's mouth water and a cool bead of sweat form at the top of her head. Alex forgets how disappointed she was only moments ago when the detective didn't answer her phone and focuses only on the spectacular sight before her. Pull it together Alex…she already thinks you're unstable and in need of medication. "Hey you….." Olivia can see the fatigue, the fear, and uncertainty well up in Alex's usually crisp and piercingly ice blue eyes. "Hey yourself……" Olivia gently places a hand on Alex's arm "How ya doin? You ok?". "Surprisngly, I'm doing well for someone about to be ripped to shreds by the Bureau Chief". Wow, Alex actually made a joke. She has her moments and isn't always wound like a top. She wishes the detective knew this about her and could see the fun, quirky and candid Alex that makes an appearance from time to time. She decides that no matter what the out come is today, she vows to keep her promise to herself and confront Olivia with her feelings. She just wonders how to go about doing it, and without a second thought goes out on a limb "Liv…would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Please? After today is over with, I sure could use some company and a drink." Oh my…did she just ask me out? "Sure Alex I'd love to. I think we both need a good meal and a stiff drink or two." Alex laughs a little and her sheepish grin suddenly turns into sobs as she grabs Olivia and hugs her. "I…..I'm so scared Olivia….I think I've ruined my career, set civil rights back a hundred years and made everyone in the unit hate me…all within two weeks! I'm a wrecking ball of destruction and for what?" Olivia breaks Alex's firm hold and cups her face with her hands "Hey…..shhhhhh, c'mon now Alex…" Olivia wipes a tear with her thumb from the damp cheek she held "Counselor you know as well as I do for what….you care sweetie….and you're not afraid to take chances…push limits…not quit until you get justice for the victims. We all take our lumps and today you will take yours, but think positive. I have a feeling it's not going to be as bad as you think." Alex does everything she can to keep the mucous from escaping her nose and cries even harder "You don't know Liz Olivia….she is out for a witch hunt and I'm at the top of her list. I'm done….I need to find a new career." Olivia with a stern voice places her hands on top of Alex's shoulders "Hey…now you listen to me Alex, your career is far from being over. Liz isn't the monster you think she is. Straighten yourself up, gather your thoughts and go up there and take responsibility. Own the situation Alex, but don't back down from why you did what you did. I have a feeling Liz will respect you for it and she may surprise you." Alex looks confused but she hangs onto the encouraging words of the detective, as it's all she has at the moment. "You're right Liv….thank you….I uh….you…you always know what to say and I just want you to know I love that about you." Stunned, Olivia drops her hands from the ADA's shoulders and takes a step back "Anything for you Alex…..you know that. Go be great…I believe in you. Good luck and call me when it's over." Olivia winks and gives Alex one of her signature crooked smiles as she watches the elevator doors close. Alex shuts her eyes and takes in several deep breaths. Knowing Olivia supports her, Alex is able to draw the strength she needs to confront Liz and as the doors woosh open, she storms down the hallway to the wrath she knows lies ahead.
TBC….