Someone To Watch Over Me, Ch. 4: Learning How to Trust Myself
Nnnnnngh, thought Marinette, smacking her alarm clock with her right hand. It _can't_ be morning already.
Her second alarm clock, which was red and could float in mid-air, wasn't quite as easy to silence.
"Marinette..." murmured Tikki, trying to be gentle. "You need to get up now, Marinette."
"Nuh-uh," she replied, mid-yawn. "It's barely even light out. It's way too early to even consider physical movement."
"Well, that depends," her tiny friend grinned. "Today was the day Adrien wanted to meet you before school and talk about things, but if you-"
Marinette's eyes opened wide...
Huh! thought Tikki. I knew Marinette had many talents, but teleporting directly into her shower? That's a new one. That might have valuable Akuma-fighting uses.
At his house, Adrien went through his own morning routine, growing increasingly annoyed by what he heard in the background. Finally, he turned around and glared at Plagg.
"What?" asked Plagg, knowingly.
"You're laughing to yourself. You haven't stopped the whole time I've been up," accused Adrien. "What's so funny?"
"Oh... nothing. Just that someone seems to be working quite hard at looking his best today," Plagg giggled. "I wonder why?"
Adrien just stared at him for a second, then returned his focus to his reflection in the mirror. "Maybe it's escaped your tiny head," he smirked, "but I am a model. I do know my way around looking presentable without going overboard. Does it surprise you that I'm running a comb through my hair?"
"Can I ask you a question, then?" Plagg said, still grinning. "Just for the sake of argument."
"What is it?" grumbled Adrien.
"How often do you tuck in your white shirt, button it up and put your collar down when you're just going to school?"
That stopped Adrien in mid-motion. He considered what he saw in the mirror, and thought, Well! I... am kind of dolling myself up, aren't I? What's gotten into me today?
As he reached for the buttons, Plagg interjected, "No, no, I didn't say don't do that! It looks good on you. Honest. You just had me wondering, that's all..."
Adrien allowed himself to smile. Actually... me, too.
Tikki sat on Marinette's dresser, watching her host work feverishly. "You look fine, Marinette," she assured her.
"Hmmmm. I'm not sure if I'm happy with the foundation I picked..." said Marinette, staring at her reflection. "Could you bring me the two on my vanity, Tikki, please? That way I can decide which one's right for today."
"Can I remind you of a couple of things, Marinette?" asked Tikki, as she ferried makeup back and forth. "Number one, this isn't a date. Number two, if he's going to get lost in anything, it's those big bluebell eyes of yours. And three... you're running the mile in gym class today. I'd go light on the makeup so you don't end up sweating most of it off."
She watched Marinette process her advice carefully. "Right! Right... um... That means the waterproof mascara..."
Tikki floated away, smiling to herself. If that boy ever TRIES to win Marinette's heart... she's a goner.
"Okay, Plagg... distract me," Adrien said, making some final corrections to his wardrobe. "Help me process a couple of things that I learned last night."
"Sure, I'm game," volunteered Plagg. "Shoot."
"First, a big one. It sounded to me like Ladybug might be single right now. That the boy she's crazy about isn't her boyfriend... he's her crush. Did you get that impression?" opened Adrien.
"It wouldn't surprise me," Plagg replied, suppressing a laugh. "I mean, a lot of human teenagers go through relationships like potato chips sometimes, one right after another... but I think Ladybug's a monogamous kind of girl. And if her crush for that guy is as big as yours is for her, it might be very hard for her to move on from it. If he ever does respond to her that way... look out."
"Speaking of moving on from things..." said Adrien, looking a little more subdued. "I heard 'I can never date Chat Noir while I have a Miraculous' loud and clear. I really didn't want to hear it at all. But this time, it sank in a little deeper."
"Uh-huh..."
Adrien frowned. "Does that mean that if I do - somehow - through a miracle - get to date Ladybug as myself... is that wrong? I mean, she wouldn't know that I'm Chat Noir. But is that being unfair to her, like I'm lying to her by not telling her, even though I'm not supposed to ever tell her? Would one of us have to give up their Miraculous? Or both of us? Or wait until we finally defeat Hawkmoth and maybe then, it'd be all right?"
"Slow down, slow down! I'm thinking," Plagg muttered. "That's a lot of questions, and they're tricky. Those might be some things to ask Master Fu about sometime. And maybe hold off until you think she might be interested in dating you."
"I shouldn't think that... I know I shouldn't... but last night..." marveled Adrien, holding up his phone. "She gave me her phone number, Plagg! Her out-of-costume phone number, without my even asking for it! I'd have thrown myself into a volcano to get that. That has to mean something."
"It means she's really worried about you, for one thing," counseled Plagg. "Like I have been, lately."
"I know. And I appreciate that, buddy," smiled Adrien. "There's one more thing that did kind of trouble me about last night..."
"And that is?"
Adrien's face became thoughtful. "When I'm Chat Noir... or I have Chat Noir-ish things to talk about... Ladybug's there for me, but she's usually in a hurry after a battle and we don't have much of a chance to talk. Once in a while, I'll bounce over to Marinette's balcony and knock, and she'll hear me out... kind of like I'm about to do in a few minutes without my ears on," he said, softly. "Plagg... I don't think Ladybug has anyone like that for her to lean on."
"She has her Kwami..." offered Plagg.
"Just like I have you. And I may throw rolled-up socks at you sometimes, but I really do appreciate that you're listening," grinned Adrien. "Like right now, for instance. But without meaning any offense..."
"None taken," Plagg replied.
"...sometimes a human perspective really helps. As serious as she is about her secret identity, I'm sure she doesn't transform back and then tell all her friends about those things... Do you think she has a confidant, like I have in Marinette sometimes?"
"I, uh, wouldn't know," Plagg evaded. This is creeping in on territory that I literally _can't_ talk about, he thought. "Maybe? Maybe not?"
Adrien let that thought hang in the air, pondering some things in his head.
If I didn't know better... he mused, it sounded like my problems resonated with Ladybug because _she_ knows what it's like to be a little lonely, or at least isolated, and to bottle things up inside. To have things stuck within her that she just can't say out loud.
Maybe I'm not the only one who could use a little reaching out...
He stood up, pocketed Plagg and headed downstairs quickly. It had taken a little persuasion for him to talk his bodyguard into getting up and taking him to school an hour early today; it wouldn't do to keep him waiting, too.
Tom let out a whistle as his daughter breezed into the kitchen, wearing a pastel blouse and mid-length skirt. "Good morning, Marinette. You look great today! Any special occasion?" he asked. "Grab a plate, while you're at it; your mother's minding the store, and it's my turn to sling some eggs."
"Not a special special occasion, but... You remember the situation I was talking about last night at supper?" Marinette asked, to which he nodded. "Adrien messaged me last night to say that he would like to get together and talk about it, and rather than sitting up all night on the phone, we figured that we'd talk before school. So I'm getting ready for that."
"I see," he nodded, sagely. "And if you're going to play Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Girl Psychologist, you'd best dress the part, right?"
"Exactly!" Marinette giggled. "Actually, I'm bringing a change of clothes; I have gym today, and I'll switch over then. I just wanted to look, well... really nice for him today."
"Well, it's working," smiled her father.
Adrien hopped out of the sedan, and peered up the steps towards the front door of the school. I don't see Marinette there, he thought. Maybe she went inside, where it's warmer... or, more likely, I'm just way too early.
I can wait up there for her, I guess...
A breeze carried the distinct aroma of morning croissants his way, and other thoughts left his mind momentarily. Or...
He leaned down into the sedan again, where his bodyguard was staring at him intently, as if to say, Close the door already, it's cold outside!
"If I was to go over to that bakery, while I'm here... is there anything I should bring home with me today?" asked Adrien.
The bodyguard looked surprised for a moment... looked over at the passenger seat, which due to the early hour was uncharacteristically empty... then made a small gesture to Adrien with a smile.
"Cream puffs, huh?" grinned Adrien, and the bodyguard's smile widened.
"You got it. A little gift for putting up with me this morning. I'll see you this afternoon."
The car pulled away. Adrien waited for traffic to clear, then hustled across the street.
Marinette listened politely as her father told her all about what dating was like in his day, back when he'd just met Sabine and both of them were around Marinette's age. I do appreciate your advice, Dad... she thought, stifling a yawn, but this is the 137th time I've heard this story, and Adrien and I aren't even actually _dating_ yet...
A text message on Tom's phone distracted him from recounting the days of yore. Taking a quick peek at it, he grinned. "Your mother asked me to tell you... when you leave for school, go out the front door through the bakery, not the back door."
"Oh? Does she need help with something?" asked Marinette.
"She didn't say. She just said that you'll definitely want to go that way today," shrugged Tom.
Marinette washed her plate and utensils off, quickly, then leaned over and pecked her father on the cheek. "All right, I'll go see what she means by that. Have a good day, Dad!"
"You too, sweetheart," he grinned.
Taking the steps two at a time, Marinette hurried downstairs. "Coming, Mom!" she called, knowing her mother could hear her in the shopfront. "What can I help you... with?"
"Oh, I think I've got it under control... I just had a very nice customer who was asking for you, that's all," Sabine grinned. She watched Marinette's face as it locked onto Adrien's, as he stood there with a couple of wrapped parcels under his arm... then Adrien's face, as he took in Marinette's arrival and forgot everything else in the room.
Oh, yes, smiled Sabine to herself. Just a matter of time.
"H-hi!" said Marinette, once what she was looking at clicked in her brain. "I wasn't expecting to see you here... though it's a really nice surprise! Yeah, it is!" Inside her mind, she kicked herself and screamed Stop babbling at him!
"I, um... well, I knew we were going to get together this morning, and I couldn't wait! I mean... sure, I could've waited, you're right on time, not that we set a time... but I know how good everything your parents make tastes, so I thought I'd get a few things to take home with me." Adrien looked equally off-balance. "You look fantastic today, Marinette," he added, to which her face radiated a silent Thank you.
"His bodyguard adores our cream puffs," hinted Sabine.
"I do, too! They're amazing," beamed Adrien, turning back to her. "I just don't get to eat them very often. I'm on a pretty strict diet at home."
"You? You're still a growing young man," Sabine frowned. "The last thing you need is to lose any weight. You're already a rail!" She turned to her daughter, who was suppressing crimson cheeks with all her willpower. "You don't think he needs to be any thinner, do you, Marinette?"
"I have... no complaints about how you look. None," stammered Marinette, losing the blush battle rapidly.
"I wish I could take you both home with me to tell my father that," said Adrien, looking away a little shyly. "It's a constant battle around our house. 'You just don't understand what it means to represent the Agreste Design House, and how every calorie matters,'" he intoned, imitating his father's cadence.
"I'll tell you what, Adrien... any morning you like, you come over here and I'll sneak you a little something. A cream puff, a cookie or two, whatever you need," offered Sabine, conspiratorially. "We treat our good customers right around here."
"Oh, don't tell me that, Mrs. Cheng... you might find it very hard to get rid of me, with that kind of standing offer," smiled Adrien.
Sabine looked at her daughter with a grin, as if to say, See? Trust your mother. She's working this for you.
"I really didn't rush you, did I? I didn't mean to," apologized Adrien, as the couple strolled down the sidewalk, in the general direction of the school but in no hurry to actually get there. In point of fact, they were meandering off-course somewhat, which was fine by Marinette.
"Not at all. I was on my way over to meet you... and then there you were," she smiled. "That saved a lot of time."
"How about over here?" gestured Adrien, pointing to a set of benches in a rough U-shape. She agreed, and they made their way over, settling down on the bench on the left.
"So... how do I begin this? I, uh..." Adrien wondered. "Well, I wanted to thank you again just for being here, and for reaching out to me yesterday. Those really mean a lot to me, Marinette."
"It's what friends are for," she beamed. "I know you'd do it for me, if I was having problems. So, tell me, what's troubling you this much?"
"Just between us? I know that I can trust you on that," he asked.
When she nodded, he began running down the things his father and Nathalie had been saying and doing, and how they seemed intent on slowly driving him insane. Marinette followed along, being careful to look surprised at the right moments, when things were said that Ladybug had heard but Marinette hadn't.
"I feel so bad for you, Adrien. And, like you said, there's no easy fix..." soothed Marinette. "I feel like I should've texted or called you, some of those late nights when I saw you were still up. Saw that your account was active, anyway, I'm not peeping in your windows," she giggled.
"Honestly? I would love that. The, uh, texting or calling, I mean! It's good to know that I have someone watching out for me." Thoughts of his 'guardian angel' popped into his head, and he made a decision. "Can I trust you with another secret, Marinette? This is a big one."
"My lips are sealed," she told him. Unless you were to kiss them, very softly. That'd break the seal. Yep, I bet that it would. Perhaps we should test that out-
"I... almost got Akumatized this week," he whispered, confidentially. "It came this close."
"Oh, wow!" gasped Marinette. "Only 'almost,' I hope? Did you actually see the butterfly?"
"Not until the very last moment," explained Adrien. "I was walking home by myself, angry and frustrated and beating myself up in my head, and I heard someone yell my name... and it was Ladybug. She snatched it out of the air, maybe two inches from my nose."
Once again, Marinette listened attentively to his story, reacting appropriately. "I don't know if I've ever been so scared in my life, Marinette," he admitted. "Not just because of the Akuma - I mean, that was scary, but in the end, I know Ladybug would save me if it'd gotten me - but because of what it meant. That I'd fallen that low." He gulped, looking rather emotional. "You and I and Ladybug are the only ones who know. I didn't even tell my father."
Marinette thought for a second... then replied, "It's not like that's some kind of badge of dishonor, Adrien... or that you're weak or damaged or something. You're only human! Look around our class today; everyone else there has been targeted at least once..." She paused, then added, "...Even me."
"You've been targeted, Marinette?" asked Adrien, momentarily shocked. "That's hard for me to imagine. You're the most positive person I know."
"Remember Zombizou, when Ms. Bustier got Akumatized?" she explained. "That one was meant for me. Ms. Bustier protected me, and it switched to her because of how scared she was for me that morning."
Adrien still looked incredulous. "I remember that day. That was when Chloé scribbled on your present for her, right?" He shook his head, remembering how it had gone. "Chloé racks up quite a body count, doesn't she?"
"She does... but it went after me, not her," reminded Marinette. "I let my emotions run away with me, and Ms. Bustier paid the price. And so did almost all of Paris."
"That wasn't your fault, Marinette," consoled Adrien, instinctively.
"And that's what I'm saying. What you're going through right now isn't your fault, Adrien. Getting targeted wasn't your fault. Your father and Nathalie being unreasonable isn't your fault. You're doing everything you can and then some to make things better... sometimes other people just won't let that happen."
She smiled at him, though misty eyes, and added, "But you always keep trying. I know you do. Because that's the kind of wonderful person you are, Adrien... you're someone who's so special to me... and I won't let you forget that. Not ever."
A little voice inside Marinette's head shrieked Did you just SAY THAT out loud?
In that moment, Adrien's mind... simply froze.
It was as if time stood still all around him. Adrien heard Marinette's soft voice, saw the yearning look on her face as she spoke, watched the emotions flowing out of her... but he felt as helpless as a child, unable to respond.
I should be kissing Marinette right now.
I NEED to be kissing Marinette right now.
Right now.
RIGHT NOW.
I should...
RIGHT NOW!
I should be...
...
Why am I not moving?
Why, Adrien?
I have no idea why I am not totally in love with Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
No idea at all.
...What is _wrong_ with me?
The mist in Marinette's eyes increased as she watched Adrien lock up, sitting motionless, processing what she'd said with a stunned expression on his face.
He's... I'm not reaching him, she thought. I'm not getting through. I want to help him, so much, I'm trying so hard, but maybe I can't...
Oh, God, I just poured my heart out at him... I couldn't stop myself... I just told him that he's so wonderful and special. Why don't you just scream "I LOVE YOU" in his face, Marinette? That's the last thing that he needs right now... for me to make his life even more complicated with my _stupid_ crush...
The sight of tears running down Marinette's cheek jarred Adrien out of his emotional lockdown. "Hey, hey, hey," he gasped, reaching out and touching her face gently. "Don't... I am so sorry, Marinette. You asked me here to help me and I'm... just not..."
"It's okay, Adrien," she breathed. "I didn't expect you to just-"
"It's not okay," he insisted. "I'm not okay. But I'm better than I was... and you're the reason for that, Marinette. Listen to me, please?"
Marinette wiped her cheeks dry, at least for the moment, and looked up at him with a puzzled expression.
"I am... I don't know what I am right now. I've been on this total rollercoaster the last couple of days. I was at my absolute low point, and Ladybug saved me, and she comforted me, and then she checked up on me again, I didn't expect it at all, and she gave me her email and I sent one to her, and we met up last night, and I am babbling at you about Ladybug and I'm so sorry..."
"It's fine, Adrien. Take a deep breath. I'm here and I'm listening. I'm here for you, no matter what," she sniffled. "Talk it out."
"Okay... okay." Adrien tried to settle himself. "My emotions are all over the place right now. I'm... numb, Marinette. Both the highs and the lows are overwhelming me and I don't know how to react to anything right now. Including this incredible, beautiful, emotional girl next to me right now, who's so determined to help me. Especially her."
Marinette forced a smile, seeing the beginning of one on Adrien's face, hearing his tender words.
"And the one thing that I do know... more than anything else... is that I cannot hurt you, Marinette." He gathered what willpower he had left, and looked into her widening eyes. "I won't. Never on purpose, and I pray never by accident. And that means I have to get my mind straight before I try to figure out anything else... I can't trust my own reactions right now. My thoughts and feelings are all confused, and it's scaring me."
She nodded for him to continue. He did, and she swore that she saw That Smile on his face, the one that had stolen her heart long ago.
"I don't know if you're kind of telling me what I think you are... or if I'm reading that wrong... or if we're both caught up in the moment, but we don't have to figure that out right now, okay? But I want to make sure you know this, Marinette... you are very important to me. You are trying so hard to help me... the way that you always do... and I don't have the words right now to tell you how much that means to me. What you mean to me."
There was nothing else Marinette could do... other than lunge forward and wrap him up tight in her arms.
They remained like that for a short time, drawing strength from each other. "We're going to fix this," she whispered. "I don't know how. But we will."
"I know we will. I know that much."
They walked, hand-in-hand, up the steps of the school and to Ms. Bustier's classroom. Rose and Juleka saw them walking up together, and Rose looked like she was about to burst out in a squeal... but Marinette just smiled at her and mouthed Not yet, silently.
Rose looked a bit confused. Marinette heard Juleka whisper "She'll tell us later" as they passed, and she smiled again. She said a silent prayer that Chloe wouldn't get in their faces today; dealing with Chloé's attitude and possessiveness was the very last thing either of them needed right now.
In the classroom, Marinette guided Adrien to his seat, gently. She squeezed his hand and asked him, "Are you going to be all right for now?"
"Yeah... thank you so much," Adrien whispered back. "Can we talk again later?"
"Count on it," she smiled, then walked up to her own seat. Nino gave Adrien a quick greeting, registered that only about eighty percent of Adrien was answering right now, and looked up at Marinette questioningly. Alya had a look on her face that screamed out What the HECK did you DO to him?, but was polite enough not to ask it out loud.
"Just... be cool," Marinette whispered to them. "I'll talk to you later, okay? It's complicated."
As other classmates came in, Marinette was a little bit encouraged to see Adrien act a bit more like his normal self; greeting people, answering questions, maintaining a smile. This is what he was doing before, she thought. Putting up a brave shell. Acting like the normal Adrien would. And he's pretty good at it, too; enough to fool a lot of people, unless they know him well enough to know better.
But that's _so_ not where he needs to be.
Adrien spent the majority of Literature class giving Ms. Bustier a very specific look, one that he prayed that she recognized; I'm here, I'm trying to listen, but please, please, PLEASE do not call on me today. Through the first half-hour of class, she appeared to understand, and gave him a sympathetic smile or two as she continued her lesson.
He tried to focus, but his thoughts were fragmented beyond repair. It probably didn't help that the cause of his distress - wait, _that's_ not right, is it? She's not causing me any distress. Other than how terrible I feel that I distressed _her_ by being such a wreck right now, he thought - was close enough that he could turn around and touch her foot, if he'd wanted to.
Things inside him continued to simmer and bubble... until, finally, something had to give.
Adrien raised his hand, and asked, "Ms. Bustier? May I please use the restroom?"
"Of course, but try to be quick," she replied.
A few minutes passed... then a few more... and Marinette's concentration, also already fragmented, broke apart when Adrien didn't return.
I don't want to be paranoid... but I don't like this. I gave him one heck of a shock this morning. Maybe I should...
She raised her hand.
Down in his lair, Hawkmoth stood, weighing the possibilities in his mind as he scanned his son from a distance.
Adrien is teetering on the edge, he thought. His emotions are quite conflicted at the moment... enough for me to sense negativity, but not overwhelmingly so. I am pretty sure that I could target him successfully right now.
It's not a sure thing, however; I would have to monitor the Akuma carefully. His mind is not so much despondent, as... chaotic at the moment. Some good, some bad, mostly confusion and anxiety. Is this the right mix of emotion that my plans require?
He paused, considering it further. Am I tipping my hand by targeting Adrien again, so soon? Should I wait for a better opportunity?
I must try, Hawkmoth thought, with a frown. If I can capture my son without subjecting him to _complete_ despair, I will sleep better at night. If it strikes someone else first, so be it. And the response to the exercise might be revealing in other ways...
Before he could change his mind again, he reached out for one of the white butterflies circling around him.
"Tikki, I'm scared. Did I do more harm than good this morning?"
Tikki did her best to ignore her surroundings. We seem to do a lot of talking in the women's restroom these days, she thought.
"No, Marinette, I really don't think so," she soothed. "You were an amazing friend to him today and he clearly appreciated it. You were just what he needed."
"I went way too far," lamented Marinette. "I didn't mean to. It kind of slipped out."
"I don't know that he thinks it was too far..." mused Tikki. "I think he understood what you meant to say by saying that. He's just trying to figure out how he feels about it, and he can't right now."
"I'm just afraid that I made everything worse, Tikki." Marinette's face was a jumble of emotions. "Now I'm just one more thing for him to worry about. And if I ruin our friendship by pushing too hard..."
"Marinette," insisted Tikki, flying up close. "Listen to me. You didn't throw yourself at him, or ask him to be your prom date, or declare your deep and undying love and ask him to marry you. And I know very well that you could've done any of those... You showed him that you have very deep feelings for him, and I know that he's happy to know that! That he has someone like you looking out for him and caring for him. Like he said... you two can figure out if it's friendship or romance or both another time, when you're both ready for that. You were honest with him, Marinette. That's never a bad thing."
"Then why is he probably sitting in a bathroom stall right now, wondering what to do?" asked Marinette.
"Why are you sitting in a bathroom stall right now, wondering what to do?" replied Tikki. "You're taking some alone time to think things through. And I'll bet that's what he's doing, too."
"Part of me wants to call him and make sure he's all right... but I don't want to hover over him, either. Especially if I'm one of his problems right now," Marinette said, hesitantly.
"Or you could wait and see how he responds. He asked you to talk to him again later, right? When you-"
Tikki's thought was interrupted by a vibration in Marinette's purse. "There, see? That might be him texting now," she smiled.
Marinette rummaged through her purse quickly, then stopped, turning slightly pale. "Tikki..." she whispered, "that was my other phone."
[Adrien] Hi there... are you available right now?
Adrien stared at the text he'd just sent to his newest phone contact.
"Don't look so worried, Adrien," said Plagg, nervously. "I don't think Ladybug gave you her phone number so that you wouldn't use it."
"Sure, but the very next day? And I'm a mess inside already? What if she..."
Plagg just stared at him. "If somebody told you 'wait three days before calling,' they've seen too many movies. Relax, will you?"
Adrien sat still, lost in chaotic thought for a moment, until his phone beeped at him:
[LB] Hi! I'm around. I can text but I can't talk right now. What's up? Are you okay?
"How do I phrase this..." Adrien muttered.
[Adrien] Kind of... kind of not? I met with a good friend this morning to talk, and I totally blew it. I'm afraid that I really hurt her.
[Adrien] I'm all tied up in knots inside and I'm hiding in a bathroom and I'm afraid that... something might come for me.
Marinette stared at her burner phone in disbelief. "He blew it?" she marveled. "He's afraid that he hurt me? When I'm the one who messed everything up?"
Tikki just smiled. So meant for each other, she thought. They both think of everyone but themselves first. What comes next may be hard on her... but I have faith that she'll get it right.
Marinette thought hard for a moment, then started typing.
[LB] Okay. Do this for me right now. Calm your thoughts. Deep breaths. Breathe in for five seconds, hold it for five, breathe out for five, repeat.
[LB] Where exactly are you right now?
[Adrien] My school. Men's restroom. Second floor west.
[LB] Stay there. I'm closer than you know. Be strong for me, okay?
[Adrien] I will. :) You're a real-life angel, you know that?
[LB] I have my moments. :)
"Well, Tikki, I may be about to learn something I hadn't planned on today... what a high school boys' bathroom smells like," sighed Marinette. "Spots on!"
Ladybug arrived at the scene, on the west side of the second floor, and considered her options. She was alone in the hallway, but that wasn't going to last for long; she was pretty sure that classes were about to let out.
She texted, quickly:
[LB] Does the room you're in have a window?
[Adrien] Yeah, it does.
Damn, thought Ladybug. An Akuma could go right through that. So much for guarding the door...
Before she could change her mind, she ran over to a nearby janitor's closet, which (to her pleasant surprise) turned out to be unlocked. Dashing back to the bathroom door, she texted:
[LB] Are you alone in there?
[Adrien] I am.
She slapped a sign on the door, reading RESTROOM OUT OF ORDER - BEING CLEANED, then slipped inside, locking the door behind her.
"Now, you're not," she said, quietly.
"Ladybug?" Adrien's voice hissed, from behind a stall door. "What are you doing in here?"
"Hoping no one walks in with a cameraphone," she giggled. "How are you doing?"
"I'm... I can't believe you came here like this, just because I... Ladybug, I'm sorry," he apologized. "You were busy with something where you couldn't talk and I dragged you away from that."
"None of that, you," Ladybug chided him. "I have a pretty simple rule about my life; Ladybug stuff comes first, people I'm close to come second, everything else waits its turn. And you qualify in both categories, so relax." She added, "But I also know you wouldn't exaggerate just to bring me here, either. You're pretty shaken up; I can hear it in your voice. So... I'm watching out for Akumas, and let's make the best of it together, okay? Stay hidden if you feel more comfortable that way. I've got you covered."
An errant part of her thought, Gee, I sure hope he has his pants up behind that door.
"Okay," said Adrien, quietly. He paused, then asked, "So, do you, um... come here often?"
That got a laugh out of her, which she did her best to keep quiet. "First time, actually. Wow. You guys don't even have chairs or anything in your bathrooms?"
"Nope... ours are pretty Spartan," confirmed Adrien. "I guess we're not meant to come here and, like, hang out."
"It's not as bad as I imagined it might be, honestly," said Ladybug. "Just... well, you should try and get an interior decorator to work on it sometime."
Adrien chuckled at that. "I'll put it in the Suggestion Box in the lobby. But I'm sure you didn't come here for the aesthetics..."
"Not really... so let's talk about it. What's got you stressed out, Adrien?"
He took a deep breath. "This is... kind of complicated..." he began.
Ladybug leaned against one of the bathroom sinks, taking in Adrien's story, and thought to herself, I am _dying_ here.
I need to be here for him... but I am absolutely DYING listening to him talking about the two of us, without being able to tell him how I feel or who I am!
"So her eyes started tearing up... and my heart just broke in half, from what I'd just done to her," said Adrien, his voice growing shaky.
"Stop. Stop for a second, Adrien, okay?" Ladybug cut in, forcing the words out of her. "You hadn't just done anything to her. She told you how much you truly mean to her, and she didn't lay any expectations on that. She didn't say 'I love you' or 'Be my boyfriend' or 'Please kiss me, right now,' did she? Maybe she wanted to, but I can't speak for her. She'll have to tell you that herself if that's what she's got in mind. But I do know this much..."
She took a deep breath before continuing. "She thinks the world of you, Adrien. Even I know that. How you feel about her is your decision, and she understands that, too."
"Are you asking me how I feel about her?" asked Adrien, not much above a whisper.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YES, I AM, YES, PLEASE, YES, "No, I'm not," Ladybug said. "Again, that's between you and her."
"Thank you... because even I'm not sure any more." he replied.
That stopped Ladybug in her tracks. "Can you... explain that part?" she managed, unable to keep that from coming out.
Hawkmoth concentrated hard on the Akuma, which was busy dancing back and forth near a school bathroom window.
I was afraid of this. He's wobbling back and forth between emotional states. Every time he gets close to where my Akuma could strike, something calms him again.
I may have to abort this, before it gets noticed, or find another prey. Who or what could be in that room with him?
"Marinette has always been a really good friend to me. Someone whom I can always depend on, someone I admire very much, someone who brightens my day every time that I see her. She's sweet, she's caring, she's cute, she's funny..." he began.
"I'm - er, Adrien, you think Marinette's cute?" Ladybug stuttered, quietly.
"Of course she is! She's one of the most attractive people I know, inside and out," Adrien replied.
I am DYING over here. I am DEAD. Someone get a mop and wipe me off the floor, thought Ladybug.
"But I have had a... well, a massive crush on someone else all year long. Someone who is kind of unattainable, way out of my league, but who just blew me away the very first time that I met her. Please don't ask me to say who that is, okay?" said Adrien, shyly. "And because of that, I never even... really thought about anyone else in any kind of romantic way. I was so focused on that girl that I was blind as a bat about anyone else. Very little even registered with me."
He laughed. "I guess I'm so used to keeping Chloé at arm's length, it became a habit. And that doesn't speak very well for me, does it? So it's only recently that I've even imagined being with anyone else. And, well... with everything that's been going on at home, I'm wondering if I can trust _those_ feelings, either."
"But... they're not going away." Adrien paused, then added, "Can I tell you one other secret, Ladybug? You have to promise not to laugh at me."
"I promise," she said, catching her breath.
"I've... never had a girlfriend. I don't know how all of this works, to be honest." Ladybug's jaw dropped as Adrien continued. "I told you last night how little I've been around people my own age, all the things I've missed out on. That's definitely one of them. I'm learning as I go how these social cues work, and not very fast. Today, I wasn't sure just what Marinette was telling me at first... and I was terrified that if I misread it, I'd break her heart. And that would break mine! Or that I was reading too much into it, and that could hurt our friendship if I overreacted. But I... just don't know what I'm doing. Or even why, lately. I'm just so confused."
"If the rest of my life wasn't such a dumpster fire right now, and I could think clearly..." Adrien sighed, "I'd be willing to take some chances, learn how to flirt, and either tell my crush how I feel or... well, I don't know just what I'd do. But I'd do something. When Marinette said those sweet things this morning... I just froze in place. I felt so terrible for her. She deserved an honest reaction, at least, and I don't know what mine is yet."
Ladybug looked over at the window, as a motion there caught her eye, and was horrified to see a purple butterfly dancing just outside the glass. I have to get him feeling positive, and FAST! she thought, panicking. I hope that he can't hear my yo-yo spinning...
"I'll tell you a secret of my own, Adrien," Ladybug offered, the words spilling out of her. "I've been around people my own age all my life... and I've never had a boyfriend. Getting a relationship's not as easy as you may think it should be."
There was stunned silence in the room. "I... can't believe that," Adrien said, in a surprised voice. "You?"
"It's true! With the mask or without. I can relate to you more than you think," replied Ladybug, startling herself with what she was admitting out loud. "I've had my own crush on someone for a year now... someone who stirred up feelings in me I wasn't used to having. And please don't ask me who he is, okay? We'll both keep from asking that question for now."
"More than fair," Adrien agreed. "Please, continue?"
"One minute, I wasn't sure that I even liked him. Then he opened up to me all at once, he showed me the kind of person he was inside, and I just... crumbled," she admitted. "He's been on my mind every day since. I keep hoping that he'll start looking at me like that... but, so far, he hasn't."
Though what I heard just a minute ago makes me start to wonder about that, but I CANNOT think about that right now! This is about Adrien, not me.
Ladybug saw the butterfly begin to retreat, but remain close by. Well, I've got his full attention, anyway, she told herself.
"Is he someone that you spend time with, as your normal self? Someone who's gotten to know you better?" wondered Adrien.
"He is... we've been getting closer, very gradually. We're definitely friends," she replied, watching her phrasing carefully.
"If he knows the real you... how can he not have fallen for you?" asked Adrien.
Ladybug gasped...
...as did Hawkmoth, as the butterfly snuck through the window just far enough for his mind's eye to see inside.
"LADYBUG is with him? In there? Right NOW? This is absurd!" Hawkmoth roared, loud enough that Nathalie actually heard it upstairs, though she knew well enough not to investigate during one of his "private business meetings."
The situation left him standing there, actually laughing out loud. Is she truly my inescapable nemesis? Is she magically empowered to appear wherever she is most needed, perfectly attuned to thwart my plans time and time again?
Or... could there be a different explanation?
"Fly away, my little Akuma," he called out. "This prey is too well guarded, it appears. Find a different target for me, someone without a scarlet guardian watching over him. Perhaps we should throw them off the track a bit... and make sure that Ladybug and Chat Noir understand that my reach far surpasses their grasp."
"I'm sorry, that was... not something I should have asked," muttered Adrien. Dummy! Why don't you just throw yourself at her, while you're at it? he grumbled in his mind. Right when she's telling you about the other guy she's in love with!
"It's fine, Adrien," she said, keeping her voice steady. "I've asked the same question about him many times. And the answer's always the same; we love who we love. We can't 'win' someone, like a prize at a carnival. We can't convince them that they're wrong about their feelings. We can do everything just right and still not get to where we want to be, you know? We just have to... be our best selves around them, show them how much we care, and hope that they notice, that their feelings start to grow."
She heard a stirring behind the stall door... and then it opened. And there was Adrien Agreste, smiling at her.
"For someone who's never had a boyfriend... you might be the smartest person I know about love," he said.
"You need to meet more people, then," Ladybug blushed. "I'm flailing away at it just like everybody else."
That look that he's giving me, thought Ladybug, feeling flustered... neither of us is ready to go there, but I don't know if I can resist if he...
Abruptly, they turned towards a loud crash from somewhere outside the window, accompanied by screaming. "AKUMA!" was one of the words they heard.
"Oh, you have to be kidding me..." muttered Ladybug. "Well, at least I'm already here!"
She turned back to Adrien with a soft smile. "I'm kind of needed, Adrien. But I'm glad that I was here for you, and that the Akuma wasn't coming for you after all. Are you going to be all right?"
"Yeah. This was... not how I expected my morning to go... but I wouldn't trade any of it," he beamed at her. "Not earlier, and not now."
"Listen," she added, laying her hand on his shoulder. "I hear what you're saying about figuring yourself out again before you start chasing anyone else... and that makes perfect sense to me. You need to heal, and I'll help you however I can. But when you do feel better and you turn on the charm, Adrien Agreste? Whoever it is that your heart desires is going to melt. I'm sure about that."
Adrien stared deeply into her bluebell eyes, wondering if he should act on his feelings, right then and there...
"But for now, duty calls!" Ladybug called, heading for the door. She blew him a kiss as she left... and she was gone.
Adrien stood still for several moments, dumbfounded, half in shock... but smiling.
That girl is going to be the death of me yet, he thought. Every time I think I've got her figured out, she surprises me again.
Plagg popped out of his pocket, a bit wide-eyed himself. "That was... educational," he quipped.
"I'll say. And I went from having no idea what to do about my love life to having even less of an idea what to do about it. But remind me to send Hawkmoth a thank-you card," said Adrien.
"And why would you do that?" asked Plagg, looking puzzled.
"Because he just sent me something big and ugly that I can hit to take my mind off of things," grinned Adrien. "Plagg, CLAWS OUT!"
Next time:
* Chat Noir and Ladybug in action... and post-action.
* "I knew this day would come... I feared it, really."
* Mother knows best.
* "Well, as long as we're going to be there together, anyway..."
* "Knock, knock..."
And more!