Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. There I said it you stupid lawyers! Now,
kindly remove the gun from my back and un-tie me . . .
GENDER BENDER INSANITY
Kai was willing to bet Danzer that the growling form Tyson's stomach would be a five or above on the Richter scale. She couldn't really blame him, although Gods know she wanted too. It wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, making Tyson wait as long as he had for food. However, even if they had left the hotel early, it wouldn't have made much of a difference.
It seems that a freak power surge had taken place in every single restaurant within five miles of them. Kai was pissed and believed this to be typical of her current luck. Tyson was contemplating the idea of eating his shoes. Kenny was having Dizzi scan the area for an operating restaurant. Ray was fighting the urge to stare at Kai, even thought it had absolutely nothing to do with how pretty she looked. Mr. Dickinson had left the team a little while ago. Max was just hyper.
Unfortunately for Kai, her luck wasn't going to improve anytime soon. Hovering above her head was the devious dragon demon herself. The demon had a bucket of very strange smelling water in her hands. She could be doing one of two things, 1) she could be watering some plants from up in the air or 2) she was about to give Kai a shower.
SPLASH!
I could be going out on a limb here, but I think she chose option 2.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS STUFF?!" screamed Kai, who was drenched in the slightly green and herb smelling liquid.
"Kai, please! You're making a scene!" hissed Kenny.
Kai turned on the young boy and looked him directly in the eyes. If her crimson eyes looked like fire before, it was nothing compared to inferno that raged in them now. Kenny wisely decided to back down for two reasons. One, Kai was scary on a normal basis, and this was normal times five hundred. Kai rarely ever showed anger. However, it turned out that she had an almost homicidal temper, when she let it loose. Two, girls made him uncomfortable when they were this close.
Bye, bye Kenny. We'll all miss you!
"Listen. To. Me. You. Sad. Excuse. For. A. Human." said Kai in an eerily calm, but terrifying voice.
Kai paused, trying to compose herself, but only succeeded in grabbing the already freaked out Kenny by his shirt collar.
"I have been turned into a girl. I had to go shopping for clothes. I have to be in the company of you, Max, and the walking food disposal. Now, I've had Gods-know-what dumped on my head and you're telling me I'm making a scene? Just be glad I can keep some of my self restraint when I'm angry." whispered Kai before she let Kenny go.
The poor computer nerd wobbled on his feet for a bit before passing out cold. I give him credit for not wetting his pants.
Ray froze as he noticed that he was not on Kai's 'I-hate-you-list'. For some reason, it made him feel kind of . . . warm inside.
"That was mean Kai!" said Tyson, who looked like he wanted to punch her lights out, girl or no girl.
Ray instinctively stepped between the two. People in the streets were already staring at the group and Ray didn't want to carry an unconscious Tyson.
(A/N: Well, duh Kai would win, even if she has just recently been turned into a girl!)
"Guys-uh-Tyson, Kai, you really shouldn't figh-" said Ray, but it was useless.
Kai had punched Tyson from over Ray's shoulder. Apparently, Kai's nerves were much more frazzled then everyone, who was still conscious anyway, had originally suspected. Max whimpered and was about to voice his opinion on Kai's violent behavior, but quickly shut his mouth when her now artic gaze washed over him.
Max grabbed Tyson and whispered something to Ray before he passed.
"I'll take Tyson and Kenny back to the hotel. You have to watch the Amazon and make sure she doesn't . . . do . . . anything." explained Max before grabbing the Chief and dragging the two boys back to the hotel.
Ray wasn't sure what shocked him most. Max saying something witty or Kai blowing up like she had. Above the Chinese boy, two demons were having a similar conversation.
"I said 'Get rid of the other three.' I didn't say 'Turn Kai into a Pro- Boxer!'" hissed the bat demon.
"But . . . I didn't do . . . anything this time." said the dragon demon.
The bat demon gave her companion a look of complete unbelief.
"Okay, okay! I told her to get rid of the others in a fun way." yielded the dragon demon.
"A 'fun' way. A 'fun' way?! If all she needed was a small nudge from you to- to do what she did then . . . what have we done?!" cried the bat demon.
"What are you so upset about?" asked the confused dragon demon.
"Two words, monthly cycle." responded the bat demon.
"We've just started the apocalypse, haven't we?" moaned the dragon demon.
"Yep."
"We're all going to die, aren't we?"
"Yep."
"Well, life sucked anyway. Wanna kick this up a notch and make it friskier for the sake of it'll be the most fun we've had in centuries? Up till now has been pretty tame."
"Sure."
"Oh good, because that stuff I poured on her was a cat-nip solution."
". . . WHAT?!"
Back to Ray and Kai . . .
Kai seemed to be back to her normal, non-talkative, non-violent self, mused Ray. He himself was starved though, and still, no restaurants were open.
"I don't believe it." said Kai, stopping without warning.
Ray almost ran into Kai, but managed to stop just in time. Unfortunately, he managed to smell the overpowering and intoxicating scent of whatever it was Kai had all over her body. Also it didn't really help that her already revealing shirt was wet . . .
"Aaaah! Don't go there." thought Ray, what the heck was wrong with his head today?!
Simple, a pair of mind-manipulating. Surprising, it wasn't even that hard, Ray already had the 'hots' for Kai. Now they just had to make Kai more aware.
Gods that would be a challenge. But they were up for it . . .
They hoped.
Now, Kai had stopped because she actually saw a *working* restaurant! She could feel her stomach rumble slightly. That made Kai scowl, she didn't want to resemble Tyson at all. Speaking of Tyson, where was he? She couldn't remember why he left, but she knew it had something to do with her. For that matter, where was Max and Kenny? Hmm, she'd have to ask Ray about that later.
(A/N: And what an interesting conversation that would be!)
"Come on Kai! Let's go, I'm starved." said Ray, grabbing Kai's hand and dragging her into the restaurant.
Kai was too hungry to really notice Ray was touching her, thankfully for Ray. However, there was one small problem with the restaurant that they soon noticed when they entered.
The giant hearts, the pink and red cushions, the couples making out *everywhere*, yeah, there was something wrong with this restaurant. Kai was about to turn around and walk out. She might be hungry, but she wasn't that hungry. Too bad for Kai, the waitress just happened to be a former cars salesperson. And *nobody* is more persistent and pushy then a salesperson.
"Hello! Welcome to 'Couples Only', let's get you some seats." said the waitress, who had fake blonde hair and chest that was about to bust out of the tight shirt she was wearing, thus making her look like Pamela Anderson.
Of course, the waitress took them to the most romantic spot in the entire restaurant. A low to the floor table with giant cushions to sit on. It kept you secluded, comfortable and just so happened to be designed in a way that squished the two people sitting there together. How . . . convenient.
"I'll be back in a bit." said the waitress with a lusty wink.
Ray was about to have a full blown heart attack. Kai's unbelievably seductive scent had been enticing before, when she was several feet away from him, this however was just too much for his poor mind. She was practically *sitting* on his lap! He tired to think about something else, anything else. He tried think of Mariah, which just showed how truly desperate he was for a distraction. Somehow though, Mariah beyblading kept on turning into Kai. Kai in a dress, Kai in gown, Kai in a bikini, Kai in seductive striped tiger bikini underwear on a giant red velvet bed, calling his name . . . It was going to be a looooong night for Ray.
Kai was a tad worried about Ray. Not like she really cared about him or anything, it was just that, well, he had been looking at her strangely ever since they had sat down. She herself was feeling a little strange too. Like when she had been tempted to scoot over and completely sit on Ray's lap. Of course it was only because she'd be more comfortable if she did, it had nothing at all to do with the fact she really wanted to sit in his lap . . . wait a minute that came out wrong.
"Hello my little couple!" said the waitress cheerfully, successfully scaring the shit out of the two beybladers, "what can I get you?"
"I want the-" started Ray.
"Oooh, I forgot the specials!" said the waitress, who was way too happy.
"Alright, tonight we have the hide-the-sausage-special . . ." she began.
Kai promptly spat out the water she had been drinking and Ray choked on air.
". . . then we have the really-really-big-carrot-salad . . ."
Kai was turning a lovely shade of emerald while Ray opted for a vivid crimson.
". . . and for drinks we have the men's sailors, and penis-colada. Okay, that's it, now pick your poison." said the waitress, who looked completely innocent despite everything she had just said.
Once the two beybladers remembered that breathing was a necessity, they ordered food with the least perverted names they could find. Then the overly happy waitress left the two to converse.
Hmmm . . . what do a boy turned girl and a really cute guy that wants her talk about in a restaurant for 'Couples only'?
"That's, um, a really nice flower arrangement they have on this table." said Ray.
But of course, the flower arrangement.
"Hmph." responded Kai, arms crossed.
On the other side of the restaurant . . .
"They aren't *doing* anything!" said a pair of binoculars with a bat demon behind them.
"No shit Sherlock." said the dragon demon who was wearing a slutty waitress outfit with two drinks in her hands.
The bat demon turned toward her companion and noticed the drinks in her hands; she took one of the drinks and sniffed it.
"Why do you have sake? What about the passion potion we were going to give them?" asked the bat demon.
"Ah, about the potion . . ."
*FLASHBACK*
"Hmm, this looks like table seven's drinks." said a bubbly headed waitress as she took it to the before motioned table.
A few minutes later . . .
"Hey! Where did the potion go?!" shouted the dragon demon.
The demon turned and saw table seven's occupants who were having a little *too* much fun.
"Crap."
*END OF FLASHBACK*
". . . it was destroyed in a stampede of wild gazelles with wings that flew in from Africa a few minutes ago."
"Just give them the sake." said the bat demon, sweat dropping.
"Right-o." replied the dragon demon, glad the bat demon had actually bought that lie.
"Idiot." muttered the bat demon and then went back to watching the reluctant couple.
Back to Kai and Ray . . .
"Here are your drinks." said the demon in disguise.
Ray accepted his drink with a nod of thanks while Kai just took hers and sipped it. The Chinese boy took a sip of his drink and started coughing.
"What *is* this stuff?" asked Ray.
"Sake." answered Kai.
"WHAT?! We aren't OLD enough to drink sake!" said Ray.
"Very good Ray, you can remember age limits." said Kai as she took another sip of her drink.
"KAI! Our metabolisms can't handle alcohol!" said Ray frantically.
"Ray, I've just had the worst day of my life, which is saying quite a lot, thank you. I need to drink something stronger then soda." said Kai as she signaled the waitress for another round.
Ray wasn't going to let Kai get wasted though; he took the sake away from Kai.
"Hey!" said Kai, as she tried to take the drink back.
Ray, fortunately for him, was now taller then Kai and could keep the glass out of her reach. Kai then stood up and tried to get her sake back, but Ray jumped up and started running. This really pissed Kai off and she started running after him. They dodged tables, chairs and people. Around and around they went, chasing each other through the restaurant.
After ten minutes, Kai got fed up with this game of cat and mouse. She sped up a little and tackled Ray to the ground. Of course, the demons watching them made Ray flip in mid air, causing Kai to land right on top of him.
"Ha." said Kai as she triumphantly took the sake from Ray's hands.
Ray was much too . . . preoccupied to stop her from getting the drink though. Why? Well, there was a girl covered in catnip scent on top of him and her chest was practically *on* his face.
"Um . . . Ray, Kai? What are you . . . doing?" asked a voice not to far away from the two teenagers.
The two beybladers looked up to see Max staring at them with the strangest look on his face.
"I hate my life." said Kai, and then took another sip of her sake.
Lady BDF: MUHAHAHAHA! I am evil! Evil for doing these things just to entertain my readers! So, if you are entertained by all of this YOU. MUST. REVIEW! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
EvilAngel: *Sweatdrop* Um . . . perhaps if you review, she'll shut up.
Lady BDF: Ladies and gentlemen, this is EvilAngel, my muse, the creativity crushing muse, and otherwise royal pain in the ass.
EvilAngel: Thank you, thank you! *Bows* And now, on with the story!
Lady BDF: THAT'S MY LINE!
*Big cat-fight ensues*
GENDER BENDER INSANITY
Kai was willing to bet Danzer that the growling form Tyson's stomach would be a five or above on the Richter scale. She couldn't really blame him, although Gods know she wanted too. It wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, making Tyson wait as long as he had for food. However, even if they had left the hotel early, it wouldn't have made much of a difference.
It seems that a freak power surge had taken place in every single restaurant within five miles of them. Kai was pissed and believed this to be typical of her current luck. Tyson was contemplating the idea of eating his shoes. Kenny was having Dizzi scan the area for an operating restaurant. Ray was fighting the urge to stare at Kai, even thought it had absolutely nothing to do with how pretty she looked. Mr. Dickinson had left the team a little while ago. Max was just hyper.
Unfortunately for Kai, her luck wasn't going to improve anytime soon. Hovering above her head was the devious dragon demon herself. The demon had a bucket of very strange smelling water in her hands. She could be doing one of two things, 1) she could be watering some plants from up in the air or 2) she was about to give Kai a shower.
SPLASH!
I could be going out on a limb here, but I think she chose option 2.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS STUFF?!" screamed Kai, who was drenched in the slightly green and herb smelling liquid.
"Kai, please! You're making a scene!" hissed Kenny.
Kai turned on the young boy and looked him directly in the eyes. If her crimson eyes looked like fire before, it was nothing compared to inferno that raged in them now. Kenny wisely decided to back down for two reasons. One, Kai was scary on a normal basis, and this was normal times five hundred. Kai rarely ever showed anger. However, it turned out that she had an almost homicidal temper, when she let it loose. Two, girls made him uncomfortable when they were this close.
Bye, bye Kenny. We'll all miss you!
"Listen. To. Me. You. Sad. Excuse. For. A. Human." said Kai in an eerily calm, but terrifying voice.
Kai paused, trying to compose herself, but only succeeded in grabbing the already freaked out Kenny by his shirt collar.
"I have been turned into a girl. I had to go shopping for clothes. I have to be in the company of you, Max, and the walking food disposal. Now, I've had Gods-know-what dumped on my head and you're telling me I'm making a scene? Just be glad I can keep some of my self restraint when I'm angry." whispered Kai before she let Kenny go.
The poor computer nerd wobbled on his feet for a bit before passing out cold. I give him credit for not wetting his pants.
Ray froze as he noticed that he was not on Kai's 'I-hate-you-list'. For some reason, it made him feel kind of . . . warm inside.
"That was mean Kai!" said Tyson, who looked like he wanted to punch her lights out, girl or no girl.
Ray instinctively stepped between the two. People in the streets were already staring at the group and Ray didn't want to carry an unconscious Tyson.
(A/N: Well, duh Kai would win, even if she has just recently been turned into a girl!)
"Guys-uh-Tyson, Kai, you really shouldn't figh-" said Ray, but it was useless.
Kai had punched Tyson from over Ray's shoulder. Apparently, Kai's nerves were much more frazzled then everyone, who was still conscious anyway, had originally suspected. Max whimpered and was about to voice his opinion on Kai's violent behavior, but quickly shut his mouth when her now artic gaze washed over him.
Max grabbed Tyson and whispered something to Ray before he passed.
"I'll take Tyson and Kenny back to the hotel. You have to watch the Amazon and make sure she doesn't . . . do . . . anything." explained Max before grabbing the Chief and dragging the two boys back to the hotel.
Ray wasn't sure what shocked him most. Max saying something witty or Kai blowing up like she had. Above the Chinese boy, two demons were having a similar conversation.
"I said 'Get rid of the other three.' I didn't say 'Turn Kai into a Pro- Boxer!'" hissed the bat demon.
"But . . . I didn't do . . . anything this time." said the dragon demon.
The bat demon gave her companion a look of complete unbelief.
"Okay, okay! I told her to get rid of the others in a fun way." yielded the dragon demon.
"A 'fun' way. A 'fun' way?! If all she needed was a small nudge from you to- to do what she did then . . . what have we done?!" cried the bat demon.
"What are you so upset about?" asked the confused dragon demon.
"Two words, monthly cycle." responded the bat demon.
"We've just started the apocalypse, haven't we?" moaned the dragon demon.
"Yep."
"We're all going to die, aren't we?"
"Yep."
"Well, life sucked anyway. Wanna kick this up a notch and make it friskier for the sake of it'll be the most fun we've had in centuries? Up till now has been pretty tame."
"Sure."
"Oh good, because that stuff I poured on her was a cat-nip solution."
". . . WHAT?!"
Back to Ray and Kai . . .
Kai seemed to be back to her normal, non-talkative, non-violent self, mused Ray. He himself was starved though, and still, no restaurants were open.
"I don't believe it." said Kai, stopping without warning.
Ray almost ran into Kai, but managed to stop just in time. Unfortunately, he managed to smell the overpowering and intoxicating scent of whatever it was Kai had all over her body. Also it didn't really help that her already revealing shirt was wet . . .
"Aaaah! Don't go there." thought Ray, what the heck was wrong with his head today?!
Simple, a pair of mind-manipulating. Surprising, it wasn't even that hard, Ray already had the 'hots' for Kai. Now they just had to make Kai more aware.
Gods that would be a challenge. But they were up for it . . .
They hoped.
Now, Kai had stopped because she actually saw a *working* restaurant! She could feel her stomach rumble slightly. That made Kai scowl, she didn't want to resemble Tyson at all. Speaking of Tyson, where was he? She couldn't remember why he left, but she knew it had something to do with her. For that matter, where was Max and Kenny? Hmm, she'd have to ask Ray about that later.
(A/N: And what an interesting conversation that would be!)
"Come on Kai! Let's go, I'm starved." said Ray, grabbing Kai's hand and dragging her into the restaurant.
Kai was too hungry to really notice Ray was touching her, thankfully for Ray. However, there was one small problem with the restaurant that they soon noticed when they entered.
The giant hearts, the pink and red cushions, the couples making out *everywhere*, yeah, there was something wrong with this restaurant. Kai was about to turn around and walk out. She might be hungry, but she wasn't that hungry. Too bad for Kai, the waitress just happened to be a former cars salesperson. And *nobody* is more persistent and pushy then a salesperson.
"Hello! Welcome to 'Couples Only', let's get you some seats." said the waitress, who had fake blonde hair and chest that was about to bust out of the tight shirt she was wearing, thus making her look like Pamela Anderson.
Of course, the waitress took them to the most romantic spot in the entire restaurant. A low to the floor table with giant cushions to sit on. It kept you secluded, comfortable and just so happened to be designed in a way that squished the two people sitting there together. How . . . convenient.
"I'll be back in a bit." said the waitress with a lusty wink.
Ray was about to have a full blown heart attack. Kai's unbelievably seductive scent had been enticing before, when she was several feet away from him, this however was just too much for his poor mind. She was practically *sitting* on his lap! He tired to think about something else, anything else. He tried think of Mariah, which just showed how truly desperate he was for a distraction. Somehow though, Mariah beyblading kept on turning into Kai. Kai in a dress, Kai in gown, Kai in a bikini, Kai in seductive striped tiger bikini underwear on a giant red velvet bed, calling his name . . . It was going to be a looooong night for Ray.
Kai was a tad worried about Ray. Not like she really cared about him or anything, it was just that, well, he had been looking at her strangely ever since they had sat down. She herself was feeling a little strange too. Like when she had been tempted to scoot over and completely sit on Ray's lap. Of course it was only because she'd be more comfortable if she did, it had nothing at all to do with the fact she really wanted to sit in his lap . . . wait a minute that came out wrong.
"Hello my little couple!" said the waitress cheerfully, successfully scaring the shit out of the two beybladers, "what can I get you?"
"I want the-" started Ray.
"Oooh, I forgot the specials!" said the waitress, who was way too happy.
"Alright, tonight we have the hide-the-sausage-special . . ." she began.
Kai promptly spat out the water she had been drinking and Ray choked on air.
". . . then we have the really-really-big-carrot-salad . . ."
Kai was turning a lovely shade of emerald while Ray opted for a vivid crimson.
". . . and for drinks we have the men's sailors, and penis-colada. Okay, that's it, now pick your poison." said the waitress, who looked completely innocent despite everything she had just said.
Once the two beybladers remembered that breathing was a necessity, they ordered food with the least perverted names they could find. Then the overly happy waitress left the two to converse.
Hmmm . . . what do a boy turned girl and a really cute guy that wants her talk about in a restaurant for 'Couples only'?
"That's, um, a really nice flower arrangement they have on this table." said Ray.
But of course, the flower arrangement.
"Hmph." responded Kai, arms crossed.
On the other side of the restaurant . . .
"They aren't *doing* anything!" said a pair of binoculars with a bat demon behind them.
"No shit Sherlock." said the dragon demon who was wearing a slutty waitress outfit with two drinks in her hands.
The bat demon turned toward her companion and noticed the drinks in her hands; she took one of the drinks and sniffed it.
"Why do you have sake? What about the passion potion we were going to give them?" asked the bat demon.
"Ah, about the potion . . ."
*FLASHBACK*
"Hmm, this looks like table seven's drinks." said a bubbly headed waitress as she took it to the before motioned table.
A few minutes later . . .
"Hey! Where did the potion go?!" shouted the dragon demon.
The demon turned and saw table seven's occupants who were having a little *too* much fun.
"Crap."
*END OF FLASHBACK*
". . . it was destroyed in a stampede of wild gazelles with wings that flew in from Africa a few minutes ago."
"Just give them the sake." said the bat demon, sweat dropping.
"Right-o." replied the dragon demon, glad the bat demon had actually bought that lie.
"Idiot." muttered the bat demon and then went back to watching the reluctant couple.
Back to Kai and Ray . . .
"Here are your drinks." said the demon in disguise.
Ray accepted his drink with a nod of thanks while Kai just took hers and sipped it. The Chinese boy took a sip of his drink and started coughing.
"What *is* this stuff?" asked Ray.
"Sake." answered Kai.
"WHAT?! We aren't OLD enough to drink sake!" said Ray.
"Very good Ray, you can remember age limits." said Kai as she took another sip of her drink.
"KAI! Our metabolisms can't handle alcohol!" said Ray frantically.
"Ray, I've just had the worst day of my life, which is saying quite a lot, thank you. I need to drink something stronger then soda." said Kai as she signaled the waitress for another round.
Ray wasn't going to let Kai get wasted though; he took the sake away from Kai.
"Hey!" said Kai, as she tried to take the drink back.
Ray, fortunately for him, was now taller then Kai and could keep the glass out of her reach. Kai then stood up and tried to get her sake back, but Ray jumped up and started running. This really pissed Kai off and she started running after him. They dodged tables, chairs and people. Around and around they went, chasing each other through the restaurant.
After ten minutes, Kai got fed up with this game of cat and mouse. She sped up a little and tackled Ray to the ground. Of course, the demons watching them made Ray flip in mid air, causing Kai to land right on top of him.
"Ha." said Kai as she triumphantly took the sake from Ray's hands.
Ray was much too . . . preoccupied to stop her from getting the drink though. Why? Well, there was a girl covered in catnip scent on top of him and her chest was practically *on* his face.
"Um . . . Ray, Kai? What are you . . . doing?" asked a voice not to far away from the two teenagers.
The two beybladers looked up to see Max staring at them with the strangest look on his face.
"I hate my life." said Kai, and then took another sip of her sake.
Lady BDF: MUHAHAHAHA! I am evil! Evil for doing these things just to entertain my readers! So, if you are entertained by all of this YOU. MUST. REVIEW! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
EvilAngel: *Sweatdrop* Um . . . perhaps if you review, she'll shut up.
Lady BDF: Ladies and gentlemen, this is EvilAngel, my muse, the creativity crushing muse, and otherwise royal pain in the ass.
EvilAngel: Thank you, thank you! *Bows* And now, on with the story!
Lady BDF: THAT'S MY LINE!
*Big cat-fight ensues*